Why Eavesdropping Never Solved Anything

Experiment House is having a dance. It should be easy enough to find an escort. Just go with your best mate. Right? Er, no...

Just a short piece of pleasant nonsense... inspired by a strange dream and the lack of a date for my leavers' ball. Enjoy! (Oh, and the rating is just in case, depending on what your opinion of the word "prat" is).

"...Because," Eustace was explaining, astounded that she didn't get it. "He's a complete toad. Besides, he only asked you because Tate wouldn't go with him. The way he talks about girls is something to behold! Pole, you knowwhat lads like that are like. You can't go to the dance with him."

"I'll jolly well go with whom I please," Jill replied tartly, stung by that comment about Tate (probably because it was true). "He's the first person to ask me to anything at all, and I'm jolly well going. Besides, I don't recall needing your permission to do anything."

"But-" Eustace began to snap back, then he waved a hand dismissively. "Fine, if you really can't see anything wrong with it, it's yourchoice. Perhaps if you're that daft, that much of an ass that you can't see what's in front of your own face, the two of you are more suited to each other than I thought." He made it sound as if she were choosing to have herself assassinated.

She didn't have a chance to contradict him, because he stormed off, but she thought she heard him muttering something under his breath. She rolled her eyes. Scrubb could be so very immature at times.

"You should have heard him, though, Tate!" Jill complained. "He was so... childish." She scowled.

That was approximately the sixth time Jill had rehashed the conversation in front of her friend, so Sarah Tate was beginning to feel as if she actually had heard Scrubb's allegedly immature objections. Privately, she thought the lad might have a point, but she knew where her loyalties were supposed to lie. She tutted in sympathetic agreement.

"I can't believe that he said that Townsfeld only asked me to the Christmas dance because he couldn't go with you!" Jill continued to rant. "It might be true," she added reflectively, "but it was hardly very kind."

"Scrubb is an idiot," Tate soothed her, wondering what she would wear to the dance herself if Peterson ever asked her. Maybe she and Pole would need to go shopping next week... if her friend promised not to bring this conversation up again, that was.

"He isn't though, that's the thing." Jill was musing by this point, not really angry any more. "I don't know what would make him say a daft thing like that, something he knew was going to upset me, when he isn't actually an idiot. I don't think he was purposefully trying to hurt my feelings."

"Well, I think he liked Townsfeld enough before the poor chap made the mistake of asking you to the dance," Tate suggested, unsubtly.

"Are you implying that asking me to the dance is an act of such great stupidity that-" Jill began hotly. Were both of her friends conspiring to upset him?

"No." Tate rolled her eyes. "What I mean is-who would you have been going to the dance with if Townsfeld hasn't asked you?"

"Well... Scrubb."

"Maybe he was only being an ass because he was disappointed." Even Pole had to understand that. Tate hoped so, anyway.

"But..." Jill thought on that for a minute or two. "Are you implying that Eustace is jealous?" She didn't notice that she'd said his Christian name.

Tate did. She laughed. "There it is!"

"That's ridiculous," Jill replied firmly.

"Maybe. But don't you think it's just possible that, since he always goes to the end-of-term dances with you, his best friend, that maybe, just maybe, he's been led-probably against his will-to have feelings for you that are something more than that?"

Jill went a fetching shade of scarlet. "That" she said sternly, "is evenmore preposterous. If you'll excuse me, I have Latin prep. to finish. I have to go to the library."

She gathered up some miscellaneous books from her bed, very few of which had to do with Latin or even classes at all, and left the room crossly. Tate sighed. Pole was even more clueless than Scrubb. Intervention was needed.

Eustace walked along the corridor in his and Jill's favourite corner of school, hands thrust deep in pockets, alternately scowling and glowering. Idiot! Girls were all idiots, every single blasted one of them. Townsfeld of all people! Not that he was jealous, or anything of the sort, of course; it was just, well, Townsfeld was such a toad when it came to girls-which Pole knew perfectly well-she was bound to end up hurt and disappointed. He frowned deeply at a portrait of the school's interestingly batty founder. And then trying to mend her self-esteem-which, let's not forget, was shaky anyway at the best of times-was going to fall for who? Him! Eustace Clarence Scrubb! Jill's stupidity was making more work for him. None of it would be necessary if she had followed her usual policy of going with him. And really, what was wrong with him? Exactly! Nothing!

"If you ask Pole to the dance, she won't go with Townsfeld," a voice interrupted his thoughts, which was probably a good thing.

"Oh, of course she will, Tate," Scrubb replied. "And I don't care."

"Really? Because you know Townsfeld's reputation with the girls. Are you sure you don't mind Pole's heart being broken? She's only going with him because you haven't asked her yet."

"I can go with someone else. I don't mind." Eustace minded terribly. "And what makes you so sure she would go with me?" It was very difficult to sound as if he weren't interested in that answer. Oh, hang it. Tate probably knew anyway. She was good at things like that.

"Let me think about it." Tate held her hands out in front of her like a pair of scales. "Smarmy prat who's known to be a womanising heartbreaker. Tactless but loveable best friend." She grinned. "Tricky one. Just ask her. Now. Before she falls in love with Townsfeld." Not that that would ever happen. Pole was too busy being sweet on Scrubb to bother with anybody else, but fuelling a little jealousy never hurt.

"Pole wouldn't fall in love with Townsfeld," Scrubb retorted, worried. "She's got far too much sense." He bit his lip, suddenly looking vulnerable. "You really think I should ask her to go with me to the dance?"

"Of course!" Tate broke into an enormous smile. "I'll see you there." Impulsively, she lent forward and pecked him on the cheek. Eustace blushed reflexively. He wondered where he would be able to find Pole.

Jill tugged the end of her plait impatiently. She hated her plaits. For crying out loud, she was jolly nearly sixteen! Far too old for them. Eustace had once said that they suited her, but he was only being nice, of course. She felt horribly guilty. He had been right, of course; Townsfeld wasn't a very nice chap. The idea of actually being the one to apologise after one of their daft arguments was humbling, but that was exactly what she was intending to do, and then she would ask Scrubb to take her to the dance. Just as a friend, of course. Though-Lucy had been most insistent that she'd be welcoming Jill into the family one day, and now Tate... No, that was as stupid as she had told Tate, and she was glad. She had no intention of being sweet on Eustace. None at all, so that little voice in her head could certainly be quiet. Pax. Now she was talking to herself, and it was all Scrubb'sfault.

What if he did, though? Taking a wild flight of fancy, if one day Eustace were to drop a hint along those lines... what would that be like? Of course, Eustace was far too, well, Scrubb to ever say anything. She was being ridiculous-but, maybe, just maybe, if Eustace was sweet on her-maybe she would think about feeling the same way. She rounded the corner and saw him talking to Tate. She-

Prat!

Eustace was asking Tate to the dance!

"-go with me to the dance?" she overheard him saying.

Well, it was a good thing she hadn't told Townsfeld she wouldn't be going with him yet. At least Tate would say no-but she could hardly ask Eustace-Scrubb-herself now, because she would be second choice.

"Of course!"

What? Why, why, what had she missed? Tate wasn't supposed to say yes! What about everything they'd talked about earlier? Tate had talked her into maybe, possibly thinking that she might feel certain things-and then she said yes!

"I'll see you there," Tate added, and she leant over to plant a kiss on his cheek. Scrubb blushed.

Oh, good grief. She was actually flirting with him. That was low. She couldn't compete with Tate anyway, let alone a flirting, smiling Tate. And Eustace was blushing.

Well, at least she wasn't jealous. Though, if this wasn't jealousy, jealousy must feeltruly awful. It was good that Scrubb and Tate were going to the dance together. Perfectly nice.

He was coming over to talk to her. Tate was beaming in the corner.

"Pole! I wanted to talk to you! I need to; I mean, I want to; I mean, this dance-"

"Oh, yes," Jill replied breezily. Not jealous at all. "I overheard."

Eustace blanched. "Er, you did?"

"Of course you can go to the dance with Tate! I can't believe you wanted to ask me! It's very sweet, but remember, I have an escort already."

Scrubb looked horribly confused. "Um, actually-"

"Have a good time." She grinned brightly. "I'll just be off to do my Latin, then. Bye." She walked off-she almost flounced. Eustace was even more confused. Jill never flounced.

And, if anybody noticed that Pole spent half an hour punching her pillow and muttering "Prat!" before she went to sleep that night, well, nobody said anything.

Drat! I wanted it to end happier than that. I'm not really very happy with this-I need constructive criticism so review please! Oh yeah-this belongs to CSL, not me. Please don't sue...