A/N: I'm alive?! Is that even physically POSSIBLE?! O.O Guess so…. You can thank hazlov2004 for adding me to his/her alerts, which prompted for to send me an email. I was like omgwtf HOW CAN THIS BE?! And then uhh…. Yeah! Checked my profile and read everything I wrote on it and then read the reviews for LoI and I was like hmmm -inspiration-
Probably going to be super rusty. Felt like doing a quick little something in Ayame's POV. I despise the Inuyasha series, but at the same time, I still adore Kouga and Ayame. I'm not up to date at all with the series, nor do I plan on catching up. So forgive the…. Inconsistencies if there are any? I'm just working off those filler episodes I saw years ago. Though I would like to be informed if Ayame made any other reappearances to appease the child in me.
YES AT 3:30AM INSPIRATIONS!!! It is now 4:30 as I submit this. Whoo boy, gotta love college life.
Time
I may be young for a youkai, but I'm not naïve. I catch the way he looks at her; see the way his cerulean orbs appear to glisten with pure desire when they fall upon the human girl.
I'm not oblivious to his body language, nor do I miss the way his muscular body almost quivers when she touches him in a friendly gesture.
I don't ignore the huskiness in his tone when he talks to her, proclaiming his desire for her to rush into his welcoming embrace.
I won't claim to understand what it is about the human girl that makes Kouga-kun supposedly desire her so. And to be honest, I don't think he knows anymore either.
I do know, however, that he remembers.
One has to look for the correct emotions. Those beautiful sky blue oculars are my windows; they allow me to witness all that he feels. That's how I know he lied to me when he said he didn't remember our promise.
That's why I believe Kagome-chan is an excuse; a pawn almost in a fatal game that he's playing.
Those actions are ones of desire; of lust. He doesn't love her. He doesn't feel for her the way he leads all around him to believe.
Kouga-kun is a male. He's a demon. And he's a wolf waiting for his mate in a world swimming in hatred, lies, and revenge.
Kagome-chan would not understand that. She's too young to understand the ways of our people. Too young to understand the deep ties that are constructed when two individuals become mates. It is a commitment of eternity. Something that is not to be taken lightly.
Just like our promises.
No, she wouldn't understand any of this. She is, after all, human.
He hasn't accepted his mate, and thus, has not been granted the opportunity to lose himself in primal desires. It's forbidden until one finds their other, and we all understand that.
So with making love pushed to the side, what does Kouga-kun have left? A burning vengeance toward Naraku, yes. But he's not obsessed like Inuyasha is. He knows better than to allow Naraku and his demonic spawn to consume his life. That's not what a leader does; it's not what a future mate does toward his tribe and his other.
Kouga-kun fears the commitment he swore himself to. Fears the outcome of the final battle against Naraku, and what could possibly happen to him. He doesn't want to claim me as his mate and possibly have me live the rest of my eternity without him. It was the dominant emotion in his piercing gaze with our previous encounter; the one true emotion he permitted himself to display before me. He's not stupid. He understands that my own tribe, including myself, would readily throw ourselves into the pits of battle to assist him. And I understand that he doesn't want Ginta or Hakkaku¾or his precious wolves trapped in their demonic forms¾to be swept into the tides of battle, either.
I grew up with a memory of him; of a promise long ago.
I grew up loving the man making that promise to the little girl who he too, would ultimately fall in love with.
I don't know Kouga-kun the way Kagome-chan knows Inuyasha. I've always understood the man through his actions; through his passionate words left unspoken towards me, and to all his allies.
I know that wolf in ways that Kagome-chan could only dream of understanding the half-breed she's so smitten with. Kouga-kun, though he might not admit to it, deep down acknowledges this piece of knowledge also; basks in the fact that I grasp him in ways other women cannot.
It is because of this already strong connection, the very same link he thrives in, that he pushes me away by proclaiming a worthless love toward the human girl.
But we both know that it's only a matter of time before either of us take action. I don't think the wolf in him will allow the man to keep it away from it's mate for that much longer….
I can't say I blame that creature in him, either. I know the one inside me is tearing my insides apart every time we stumble upon each other. But I try to stay vigilant. I won't jeopardize all that he's done with his self-restraint by submitting myself to the love and lust crashing against each other in waves inside of me; billowing off my frail form so that it can be inhaled by his acute sense of smell.
No. I need to be strong for him, just like he is for me.
Anyway, it's only a matter of time.
AN:
Curses at and their not allowing me to make more spaces between my author's notes. Rawr!O.O;; Eh, I kinda like it. Didn't edit it or proofread, so excuse any grammatical errors. Kinda a weak ending compared to all my other writings I do now. It was weird. Halfway through this, I started thinking about LoI and that citrus, and I was mulling over the words I had Ayame utter, and I was like uhuhuhu what if I wrote a quick scene with the two of them and a hot spring D Man, that is probably SO overused too. Too bad I don't care -giggle-
Guess you people are getting another Inuyasha quickie out of me again. You sly dogs.
You know what to do: read and review!
Oh my god I rhymed! XDD Yeah. I'll try to motivate myself with a little lemony goodness to appease the pervert in me which suddenly reared it's perverted-y head.