Meredith is speechless. She twirls her barely-touched coffee on the table and then looks up. "You know, I'm getting the idea that I didn't hear you right."

Addison sighs. "You heard me right. Meredith . . ." She goes to stretch a hand across the table, but then stops just before her fingertips touch Meredith's. "This isn't going to work. We live in different cities. You're doing this because you're hurting, and because this is the way you operate. I know that, and you know that. And I don't want to do this because you're upset or because you're drunk, or whatever silly reason. It's just not going to work."

Meredith bites her lower lip, feeling her face redden and the tears behind her eyes. "I . . . well, it wasn't . . . I just . . ." She feels her chin start to quiver and Addison shakes her head, even though her blue eyes melt a little in sympathy.

"Not here. Come on, Grey." Addison's words aren't helping. Meredith raises a napkin to her face and discreetly wipes at her eyes as Addison shoots a look around the café. "Come on."

They leave (Addison taking Meredith's coffee cup in case she wants it later) and get into the elevator. Addison leans up against the camera and avoids looking at Meredith. The petite resident turns into herself, bringing her hands up to her face to cover the redness and tears and mucus and whatever else. It's bad enough to cry in front of Addison, but Meredith does appreciate her discretion. The red-haired doctor keeps her eyes carefully away from Meredith until they get off at the Oceanside floor.

Unfortunately, everyone's in the hallway, waiting for the elevator. Naomi and Callie are chatting, rather politely (thinks Addison); Mark, Sam and Pete are laughing; Violet and Cooper are whispering, and Dell is standing at his desk, smiling hopefully every so often; trying not to look upset at the fact that he's not included in the doctor posse. As Meredith catches sight of the group at the elevator, her face flushes again and she turns her cheek away, trying not to let them see the tear stains.

No one really does; the guys are too busy talking about the latest pub they're going to hit up for lunch; Violet and Cooper are arguing about something (it sounds like lines from "Breakfast at Tiffany's" – seriously?) and only Callie and Naomi get a good look. Just before the elevator door closes on the group, Callie slips out. "I'll meet you guys there," she says.

No one says anything back, although Mark suddenly starts from his conversation and cranes his neck around the door. It closes, though, before he can get a good look at the situation and is already whooshing down on the conversation of the rest.

Callie knows what happened; even though Meredith's a prickly sort of thin girl who doesn't like to be really touched, she puts her arms around her and after a moment, Meredith turns into her. There's something about Callie that makes most people open up to her; she's just a very warm personality. Addison watches with an unreadable expression in her eyes.

"Did you suggest this?" gasps Meredith, realizing that no one is saying anything. Callie looks at Addison and then looks back down at the top of Meredith's head. Her hair is glinting in the overhead lights. A few feet away, Dell quietly ruffles papers and then chooses that moment to take some files to someone's office.

"Meredith . . . you know this isn't going to work. Why make it harder for yourself?"

And then it's clear: Meredith really isn't that upset strictly about Addison. She's upset about everyone doing this to her. "Well, what is it?" she suddenly snaps, pulling away from Callie. "Is it because I'm so fucked up that no one wants to deal with me? Is it because you're afraid of hurting me? Well, it hurts anyway. I don't think anyone can cut my soul in any more pieces. So don't worry about that." She wipes her eyes roughly.

Addison opens her mouth, and then closes it. "Meredith. What would this relationship have done for you?"

"Maybe I didn't want a relationship!"

"So you wanted just to fuck me?" Now Addison sounds hurt and Meredith lowers her eyes. "No. That's not completely true."

"I think that you were drunk" – Callie points at Meredith – "and you wanted to prove something to me" – she points at Addison – "and both of you are reaping what you've sown. Or something." Callie looks confused for a moment, and then frowns. "Meredith. We're leaving in two days. Falling for Addison would be ultimately a bad thing to do. Addison. We already talked about this."

Meredith wipes at her eyes. "Why am I so messed up?" she wonders, basically to no one. Addison puts a hand on her shoulder. "Take comfort in the fact that you're not the only one, Mer."

Meredith gives her a watery smile. "I really came out here to ask you about Derek, you know."

"Yeah. We never quite got to that."

"No." Meredith looks down at her feet. "I love him, you know. I just . . . can't be you."

"Why do you think he wants you to be me?" Addison's voice is gentle and Callie pipes up. "The same reason you wanted to be me with Mark. It's familiar and you've been there before."

"But he fell in love with me because I wasn't like you. No offence," she adds quickly, and Addison smiles, a little painfully.

"Derek is the type of person that needs routine in his life. He doesn't really know how to take steps that aren't in the natural progression. You know, dating, marriage, kids. From what I can tell," – and here, Addison is a little worried that this will counteract Violet's advice and step into the psychiatrist's territory – "he's confused by you. He doesn't really get the trust issue thing."

"Has Derek ever had anything bad happen to him in his life?" Meredith's voice is incredulous and Callie can't help laughing. "Sometimes, Mer, people actually go through life with minimal trauma. I promise, it happens."

Meredith giggles. "Am I that much of a psych case?"

"You're the ultimate psych case, Grey." Callie smiles back at her and Addison smiles, too. "You know his dad died?"

"Yeah."

"That's about it. Until I cheated on him," Addison winces, "he's really never had anything horrible happen. That he's let on to me, anyway."

"I don't know why he can't relate," Meredith grumbles. "I've been so understanding. I've been there every single time he needed me, for any reason. I begged him to choose me and he's just turned away every time. Now that I don't know what the hell is going on, he can't wait for me to figure it out. I just . . . it's got to be more than this. I've got to stop getting my heart squeezed."

"Well," says Callie stridently, "I think you know what you need to do. Dump his ass!" All three women laugh, but the corners of Meredith's mouth turn down, and despite herself, Addison puts an arm around her. "Meredith. We can't tell you what to do about Derek."

"I know." Meredith sighs and Callie pats her shoulder. "I think we should spend the rest of the day on the beach, you and I."

Meredith looks uncertain for a moment, then nods. "Yes. Beach time sounds great."

Addison grins and turns towards her office. "See you all later."

Addison and Meredith are sitting outside, on Addison's terrace, and both are slowly sipping martinis. Callie had begged off earlier – apparently, this time, she wanted to keep an eye on Mark at the bar. Addison had giggled. "That's probably a good idea."

"Well, I'm not going with him to choose another cell phone. Do you realize that it took like three hours to buy a freaking phone?"

"Dude. He's a plastic surgeon. That didn't give you the first clue that he might be a bit, well, choosy?" Addison laughs and Callie laughs with her. "He's a guy. Of course I didn't think he was gonna be that choosy."

"Surprise, surprise," Meredith had drawled, and then Callie had tipped them all a wide wink. "Plus, I didn't just come down here to visit you," she joked, poking Addison just below her collarbone. Addison yelped. "Ouch!"

"Baby." Callie stuck her tongue out and Mark came up. "Stop fighting, you girls. Or, you know, keep fighting."

"Shut up, Mark," said the three of them, and he grinned widely. "No McSteamy smile!" Meredith had barked and Callie tugged his arm. "You're going to flirt with me, and just me, all night. Got it?"

"Yes, ma'am!" Mark saluted and they got into a taxi, still bantering.

That had been three hours ago. Now, the waves are lapping gently at the beach and Addison is staring dreamily up into the stars, just enjoying the sound. Meredith fiddles with her glass.

"What was it really?"

"What, Grey?" Addison is a little annoyed at the interruption and moves her eyes tiredly over to rest on Meredith.

"I mean, the relationship. The . . . whatever it was between us."

"The drunken sex and kissing?"

"Yeah. You know what I'm talking about."

Addison moves uncomfortably in her chair. "Meredith . . ."

"Okay, so it meant nothing to you. Fine."

"It didn't mean 'nothing' to me," says Addison, sounding even more annoyed. She sits up a little more and fixes Meredith with her blue gaze. "I just don't think it meant the same to me as it did to you."

"I don't really know why I did it," says Meredith thoughtfully. "It was sort of . . . I don't know, like trying something new. This is a new place. I felt sort of like I should be a new me, or whatever."

"No, I get that." Addison turns her gaze back to the sea. "I get wanting to change yourself. I just think that . . . and this is me, too – that maybe us sleeping together wasn't really the best idea. I shouldn't have given in."

"But why did you?"

"Because." Addison smiles a little. "Because you're beautiful and sweet and vulnerable, and because it seemed like the natural progression of things at the time."

"You're big on natural progression?"

"Not really. I'm big on going with the flow, these days." Addison closes her eyes.

"I can understand that." Silence falls and the sound of the waves is soothing. Several moments pass and Meredith wonders if Addison's fallen asleep.

Then, "I have an attraction to you, Meredith. I just don't want to start a relationship with you; not to replace Derek, and not because you're hurt. And to let you think that would be wrong."

"Yeah." Meredith says nothing else, but she feels Addison's warm hand on her own and she smiles. "Well, you're right. It was best to break it off when you did."

"Yeah."

The wind picks up then and Addison gets up. "Come on. It's getting late."

"Where's the hotel?"

"Fuck the hotel. You can sleep in my bed. I'll sleep on the sofa downstairs."

"I don't think Callie's coming back home tonight."

Addison laughs. "Then I'll take her bed."

"Okay."

They go inside and Meredith pauses at the door. "This place really gets into you, huh?"

"It's kind of like that. It's the heat and the sea and the wind."

"I guess so."

Addison leans over and kisses Meredith's cheek. "It wasn't ever because I didn't have feelings for you."

"I know that. I know why."

"As long as you know why."

The scene at the airport is similar to when Addison picked them up; except this time, the Oceanside gang has come along.

"A week is just not long enough," muses Violet. "I think you guys should seriously consider staying longer."

"Nah. The Chief's already gonna have her head," says Callie, jerking a thumb at Meredith. "And I miss daily surgery."

"And not being under scrutiny from a lot of women," says Mark, shifting uncomfortably. "Wait – what am I saying? I'm always under the scrutiny of women."

"Oh, please." Addison leans forward to give Callie a hug. "I miss you a lot."

"I think next time you better come up and see me."

"Okay, done." The two women smile at each other and Callie kisses Addison's soft cheek. "Take care, Addie."

Mark kisses Addison's other cheek. "It was really good to see you, Addison." This time, his voice isn't sarcastic, and Addison smiles. "It was good to see you, too."

Meredith hangs back until Naomi notices her on the edge of the group. "It was nice to meet someone else from the hospital. I hope you found what you were looking for."

Meredith shrugs. "The sunshine was enough." She exchanges a conspiratorial smile with Addison and then picks up her luggage. "I miss surgery, too."

They cluster at the gate as the three Seattle-dwelling doctors board the plane and wave. Addison sighs. "You know, in a way, I'm glad I'm not still there."

"Only because you'd miss your perma-tan?" Dell teases, and Addison smiles. "No. It's less complicated here."

"We like to stay laid-back," says Cooper, and Violet pinches him. "Right, laid-back L.A. That's why half the city sees shrinks."

"Whatever. I like it here." Addison turns back from the gate. "Even though you're all annoying."

"Hey!" Everyone cries out and Addison smiles. "Kidding!"

When the plane touches down in Seattle, Meredith feels the familiar grey curtain of rain drape over her and smiles. "I never thought that so much sunshine would get to me."

"Well, I certainly didn't miss this," grumbles Mark, regretfully stowing his Ray-Bans in his leather jacket's pocket. Callie pokes him. "No bitching."

Meredith drives home by herself and isn't surprised to see the house lit up like a Christmas tree when she pulls into the driveway. She's tired, but she's in the mood for some company, and the lights make her smile.

In a way, she's prepared for Derek sitting on the swing on the front porch; she's prepared for his carefully-controlled smile, but she's not in the mood to talk. She considers walking right past him, but she stops and faces him square. "Hey."

"Hey. Um, just a thought – maybe next time you're going to take a vacation, you could, you know, tell me or something? So I don't worry?"

"You don't own me, Derek. If I want to take off, I will." Meredith suddenly shakes her head. "I don't want to do this." She goes to walk in the house, but he sighs. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For a lot of things. I don't know." He looks up at her. "What's it gonna take to fix all this?"

Meredith shrugs. "I don't know, Derek. I don't know if I want to try, anymore."

"Where'd you go, anyway?"

"L.A. But I'm sure you figured that out from asking the Chief."

"Yeah. Why?"

She smiles suddenly; her face transforms and her eyes sparkle. "Why not?"

With that, Meredith steps across the threshold and closes the door.

Fin