Disclaimer: I do not own this amazing series (obviously!) :)
I don't really know how long we sat there.
Our bodies mingled together before I finally stood up and left the small cave.
Edward followed me closely. His face had an ill tint to it and his normally green eyes were dull and at the moment downcast. He was afraid I would leave him, I noticed, after a fleeting attempt to get some privacy.
I didn't really understand but at that moment I just wanted to be alone. To feel the fresh wind in my face and contemplate what we would now. It was obvious that we couldn't stay in our current domicile.
James knew where we were and I really wasn't in the mood to face him again. I know that Edward wouldn't be so kind to him the next time that our paths crossed.
I shivered from the thought and in the next second Edward was hugging me. His arms encircled my waist and my back hit his chest forcefully.
"What's the matter?" He asked.
"I…I don't… I can't…" I said and in the process I turned around so that I was facing him.
His face had gained some colour since the last time I stared at him.
"What happened in there…" I started, meanwhile pointing towards the entering of the cave.
Edward closed his eyes and rested his forehead against my shoulder. It was obvious he didn't really want to talk about this. But I processed nonetheless. I had to let this out of my system.
"…can't happen again. Do you know what I felt every time James had the upper hand? Every time you let out any sound of suffering? Do you? Do you?" I asked exasperate.
I was furious with him. How could he put his own safety in risk like that? How could he be so selfish as not to think about the repercussions if he didn't survive? How could he…
And then sobs erupted from my throat, all the while I punched his chest again and again. I was letting my anger out and he was the one taking it in.
He stood there before me. His eyes were glazed over and I noticed the rim was watery.
I screamed then and pushed him on the ground. He fell and instinctively grabbed my arm. The next second we were both lying on the ground.
His face was a mere centimetre away from mine and I could feel his breath on my face. It smelled like cinnamon and pecan and I struggled to stay focus after inhaling it.
I closed my eyes and it was then that Edward brought his hand to my face and cupped my cheek tenderly.
"Bella." He sighed and then his lips captured mine.
The kiss wasn't kind, it wasn't gentle and it certainly wasn't meant to be comforting. He was rough as his hands encircled my waist and brought me flush against him. Our bodies were perfectly aligned now. His lips were soft even after his attempt to be harsh with me.
"Edward, I don't think…" I started when his lips left mine and began travelling down my neck.
"Shut up." He ordered.
My once closed eyes shut open after his demand and that's when I felt the first string of anger.
How dare he?
I pushed him away but still his arms encircled me.
"Let go of me!" I was the one doing the orderings now, I noticed with disdain.
He released me then and I got hastily up. He tried to follow me but I stopped him with an outstretched palm.
"Leave me alone." I stipulated angrily and turned around.
My feet turned right and left. They took me deeper into the forest, further away from the cave. Further away from him. I was fuming and at the same time flustering.
I didn't know what to think. Should I be angry or pleased? Should I go back or run away. I didn't know. I was torn.
On the one hand I was content Edward had showed signs of affection towards me but on the other hand I knew I still felt a sudden dread from the fight and what my companion for the past months could become.
I sat on a fallen tree branch for a while. It was thick and had all sorts of greeneries all over it. I knew my clothes would get stained and if we were still in the civilized world I know I would get angry. Now, I couldn't have cared less.
I had never been a shallow person but I liked to feel good about myself. I always took a last unnecessary look at the mirror before I left the house so that I was sure my hair wasn't sticking out in odd ways.
My hair was filthy now, my brown curls had turned a shade darker and I knew my once translucent skin was now marred with cuts and all sort of injuries.
Leaving in the jungle away from civilization was never a good choice for a person like me.
I needed a shower, I contemplated.
It wasn't long before the rain picked up again and I was forced to move from my current spot.
I got up and started my way towards the cave.
Secretly, I was afraid I wouldn't be able to return back home. I had never been very coordinated in my home town even though I had lived there since I was born.
The chances of getting to a small, almost hidden, cave in the middle of the woods were less than favourable.
I closed my eyes in concentration trying to clear my thoughts and remember the way back.
Curiously, and thankfully, my feet, unlike my mind, seemed to still remember the path I had taken a few hours ago and after a few minutes of desperation and worry I managed to get there safely.
I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding when the opening of the cave came into sight. I took small steps towards the cave till I stood in front of the small opening.
I didn't know what I was expecting to see but it certainly wasn't the scenery that stood before me. The cave was empty. I let out a tired breath when I first realised this. Edward, obviously worried about my hasty departure, went out looking for me.
I sighed unenthusiastically and sat down by the entry.
I rested my face on my knees and waited. I tried to think what I would say to him when he returned from his wild goose chase but I clearly wasn't ready to talk about what happened.
My head was a mess and every time about anything Edward related my mind became strangely blanc.
I was torn and despite my growing feelings for him, I really didn't know what to do and what to expect from this intriguing relationship we had developed.
Everything was a mess, I finally concluded and consequently my hands came up to my cheek to wipe away the tears that had started falling after my previous musings.
It had darken by now and Edward still hadn't returned.
I wondered briefly if he could be lost somewhere in the middle of this jungle and instantly my heart clenched at the thought.
To think that he could be lost because I suddenly had needed a few moments alone send me to a worried frenzy and I deliberated the thought of searching for him.
The idea was quickly put aside. I knew that Edward wasn't the type of guy to get lost, he simply had felt the need to be alone too. I assured myself inconvincibly.
A few more hours passed before my stomach growled from lack of nurture. I sighed and hastily got up and entered the cave.
It was then that I noticed a very distinguishing change in the small cave.
Half of the many bags we had been carrying were gone and his sleeping bag no longer lay next to mine.
His stuff was gone.
He was gone.
A/N: Don't kill me... .