Matchmaker, Matchmaker

I never thought I'd have to play matchmaker for my two best friends, but there I was, sitting outside Burger King and waiting for Oliver to get off work. And it was freezing. You wouldn't think it gets cold here, but once it gets dark and the wind kicks up your butt can get numb while sitting on the sidewalk.

I swear, if Oliver doesn't get out here in the next ten seconds, I'm gonna—

Oh, there he is.

I stood up and wiped the non-existent dirt off my jeans as Oliver looked at me with a confused expression on his face. "What are you doing here?"

I rolled my eyes. "You are my best friend."

"Yeah, but you never come to my work unless it's so you can get free food."

"I need to talk to you," I admitted as we started walking in the direction of his house.

"Is everything alright?" he asked, looking slightly worried.

"Yeah, everything's fine, it's just…" I glanced at him. He was about to say something, I could tell, so before he could get anything out I continued, "You like Miley. Don't try to deny it. Everyone in the world can tell, so just stop the suspense and kiss her."

Despite how dark was, I could still see him blushing.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

I was completely baffled. How was he able to say that with a straight face?

"Yes you do. Now we can go back and forth arguing about this, you say no, I say yes. But I've been waiting for you outside. I can't feel my butt anymore because I didn't know you were going to stay late to clean the stupid floors. I kind of feel like going home. So if you don't mind, could we skip the arguing part and just go right to the part where you admit I'm right?"

A beat.

Then:

"I don't like Miley."

I groaned.

Loudly.

"Oliver, did you not hear what I just said?"

"Did you hearwhat I just said?" he asked.

"I see the way you look at her."

"With my eyes?"

He's a smart ass, isn't he?

"With your googly-eyes," I said, waggling my fingers up near my face and then stretching my fingers out so I was tickling his face. He pushed me away.

"Don't do that," he said.

"If you didn't like Miley you wouldn't be getting all touchy, please excuse the pun."

Oliver ran a hand through his hair and sighed deeply. "I just had a long day at work and now there's an annoying girl who won't leave me alone."

Oh, ouch.

I stood, appalled with my mouth hanging open and watched him walk away.

"Well, that was rude!" I called after him.

He turned to he was walking backwards. "Somehow I think you'll get over it!" he called back.

(((((O)))))

Doesn't Miley look awesome today?

Nice try, Lilly. I'm not gonna fall for it.

I was just asking a simply question, which you so rudely decided not to answer.

It's not a simple question. It's a trap. A TRAP! Now stop passing me notes, we're gonna get caught by Mrs. Starr.

No, we're fine. She doesn't pay attention to anything.

Stop passing me notes, it's a girly thing.

It is NOT a girly thing. Guys do it all the time.

Name one.

Well that's just impossible. One guy can't pass notes by himself. Duh. And don't get off topic.

We ended this discussion last night.

Actually, you insulted me and then walked away. Jerk.

Who's the insulter now?

Insulter? Is that a word?

Yes. I looked it up.

When did you become such a nerd?

And the insults just keep on coming.

You like Miley.

Do not!

Do to!

Do not!

Do to!

Do not!

Do to!

Alright, let's just say, hypothetically, that I like Miley. Hypothetically! I wouldn't act on those hypothetical feelings because I couldn't hypothetically be sure that Miley hypothetically liked me back. Hypothetically.

She likes you back. Not hypothetically.

I can't trust you. You think that I like her. Which I don't. So how can I be sure that you know how Miley feels about me?

She told me.

Liar.

Yeah, alright, I'm lying. But she does. And you two would make such a cute couple.

Alright, I'm done with this note nonsense.

Oh, I'm sorry, did I make you blush?

No! I got a sunburn!

You didn't have that sunburn two and a half seconds ago.

Stop passing me notes!

Miley and Oliver sittin' in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G.

I'm ignoring you now.

You haven't been able to ignore me since kindergarten.

There's a first for everything.

That first will not be today.

…

Oliver.

…

Oliver!

…

I hate you.