This was hard to write. I'm not a man, so I can't even pretend to know what it feels like from that end, and hubs would rather I run over his foot than try to help me write this, so you're stuck with what I can do. I hope it does him justice.
This one is for H. who requested something nice for her birthday. Many happy returns.
How did this woman come to be?
I can look into her eyes and see the shadow of that little girl who stole my heart so long ago. She had me wrapped around her little fingers before she could even speak in complete sentences. And now look at her… She's sleeping, her lips slightly parted, her head resting on my chest, her body – her impossible body, so soft and full in all of the right places – pressed against mine under the sheet.
She's everything I've ever wanted, everything I've been waiting for.
I can't help but kiss her behind her ear, even though it makes her murmur in her sleep and shift against me. If she moves like that again I'm going to have to wake her for a repeat of last night.
Last night.
I could barely believe my eyes when I saw her coming towards me in the sunset. I thought she was beautiful before, but last night she was positively unearthly. No one could even come close to comparing to her, with her dusky skin in contrast to the white of her dress. And then she turned around.
I nearly lost my soul when she turned around. That dress…
That dress was all prim and weddingly proper when viewed from the front. The silky fabric flowed over her body like a promise of things to come. When I saw her from the back… my body stopped working and I fell into the pit of desire that I'd been suppressing for so long. Two stray wisps of fabric were all that held that dress to her body, revealing most of her tantalizing back to me. That long, unbroken expanse of brown skin was nearly my undoing, and I had to fight to remind myself of her fear of giving our guests a show they'd never forget.
I can't possibly tell you what I said, who I talked to, what I ate. I can tell you how her back felt beneath my hands. How her cool skin trembled at my touch, how if I eased the pressure of my hand on her flesh she would press back slightly, silently asking me for more. I can tell you about the long line of her neck, disappearing into the mass of curls pinned on her head. About the stray curl that escaped just behind her left ear, teasing me as it bounced lightly with her movements.
I can tell you about kissing her after our vows, how it released something inside of me that I'd been carrying for so long that I didn't know where it was until it was gone. How I will try for the rest of my life to be everything she could ever need or ever want. How hard it was to stop with that one sweet kiss.
We left as soon as we could. Sooner really. Neither one of us could handle it when our bodies came together on the dance floor. I tucked my head down to breathe in her scent, determined to get through it for her. And then she said my name with such longing and desire that all of my good intentions fled like so many sparks from the bonfire behind us, and I gave into my urges and ran away with her.
I should have felt like a felon, fleeing with her in my arms into the night like that. I should have, but instead I felt like I was finally claiming what was rightfully mine after waiting for far, far too long. I meant to open the car door for her like a gentleman, but I caught a glimpse of the fire in her eyes and it was too much. I had to kiss her.
That kiss was like no other. No restraints, no audience, no one in the world but me and my Claire. My hands moved of their own accord, sliding down the smooth fabric of her dress to tug it up so I could wrap her legs around me. My beautiful Claire had more sense than I did, saying "Not here," in the most seductive voice I've ever had the pleasure to hear. The way her lips pursed slightly with the 'r,' the way her teeth gently grazed her bottom lip as she bit it in frustration… All of it was a promise and a precursor of the things to come.
I've never driven so fast in my life. I think there may be a dent in the floorboard under the gas pedal.
I had calmed down by the time we got to the hotel. I hadn't been kidding when I said that I'd reserved our rooms for a week and didn't intend to set one foot out of them during that time. I finally had her where I wanted her. I couldn't rush this, couldn't bear to hurt her in my desire. She was trembling, her dark eyes never leaving me as we checked in and made our way to our room.
I put her down just inside the door so I could go switch on the air conditioner. Emily had pulled me aside earlier in the day to caution me about doing this, saying that it would put a damper on our honeymoon if I gave her niece heat stroke.
I stopped at the stereo to slip in the other copy of the CD that we'd made for our reception. We had been careful to choose songs that were very slow, imagining that we'd be fighting our impulse to rush through everything in our hurry to be together. Those same slow songs would help with the matter at hand.
We began to dance, and I pulled her close as I nosed that stray curl that had been taunting me all evening. She responded my pressing against me and moaning softly. She seemed to have no idea what she did to me with every movement, but we were finally in a place where it didn't matter.
I pulled the pins from her hair one by one, each section bringing a fresh onslaught of her delicious fragrance – that cinnamon and incense aroma that hit me so hard that day in the rain. I drank it in, drank her in, as we slowly moved across the room.
So many times before this, lust had taken over, leaving me hanging on for dear life as I followed blindly behind. Maybe it was the knowledge that there were no "limits" to reach, no screaming, no migraine… maybe it was the fact that she was finally mine, now and forever… I didn't feel pulled over the edge of the sanity, but like I had an eternity to admire and touch her, to kiss and hold her, to fill her as completely as she filled me. The frenzied desperation was left behind with our limits, leaving us with pure desire. Clothing was no longer an obstacle to be thrown out of the way at the earliest possible convenience: it was a step in the slow dance of seduction that caught us up in its grasp.
Her skin was satin beneath my fingers as I ran them over her curves. Her breasts were sweet, her quiet moans making me burn hotter than I ever had before. I couldn't get enough of her hands on me, her mouth on me, her scent, her everything. Every move I made, she was there to meet me, her back arching as she pressed upwards, urging me on. I was afraid of hurting her, but her eyes were bottomless pools sucking me in, and all I could do was whisper how much I loved her as I buried myself in her.
She cried out, and I lost my senses in white oblivion for a moment. All I could do was cling to her and breathe her name. I rolled to bring her above me before I lost all conscious thought and crushed her beneath me. I struggled to move slowly, to not hurt her, to make this moment last forever. I ran my hands over her curves, and grasped her buttocks to guide her as we found our rhythm together.
She bent over me, our chests rubbing together adding to every new sensation, and I held her tightly to me. I could never let her go. She began to shudder, and I felt myself shooting upward as I heard her panting my name. I lost my grip on reality. Claire was the beginning and the end of my world, and I exploded into her.
She lay quivering in my arms, smiling and kissing me, and I thought that I could never love her more than I did at that moment. I was wrong, for every minute she sleeps with her head on my chest I love her more. Every breath draws me deeper in, and I will never fight it. I will never want out.
I would wait a thousand lifetimes to be with Claire, but I am so grateful, so eternally grateful, that I don't have to wait any longer. I am forever her Quil, and she is all that is everything in my life.