Not so Broken

By: theunknownvoice

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

It was wrong.

His hands traced over her back. She was broken not scarred like him.

Death had tainted her. Inuyasha had tainted her.

It was wrong.

Naraku and the shards were a constant. The only constant in their lives at this point. She knew before he left that night.

She knew that the hanyou was abandoning her.

Inuyasha—his name had been her prayer.

Inuyasha with his pointed ears and his golden eyes. Golden eyes that flashed and crashed with anger and passion.

She couldn't let him leave her.

"Inuyasha," she called out.

"Go back to sleep Kagome," he baked back.

"Inuyasha, where are you going?"

"Out! Go back to sleep onna."

"Inuyasha—"

"Go back to sleep."

"Not until you tell me where you going."

"I told you out!"

"Inuyasha—sit!"

He crashed to the ground.

"I don't care if she's out there. You hear that Kikyo? I'm not letting you leave. You need to stay here. You have to help me."

"I don't have to do anything."

"Inuyasha, I promise when the jewel is finished I'll no longer be you're problem."

"Fine onna, but you better keep your promise."

She felt her heart break as he turned his back towards her intent on going to the forest. She knew he would be back but whatever feelings that had existed between them were as broken as the shikon jewel.

It was wrong.

His lips trailed down her neck. And she tried to hold back the gasp as he bit and sucked. Her fingers ran through his hair.

It was wrong.

Death. Her life had been defined by it. She wished she had never fallen down that cursed well. The bone eater's well and the past.

Why was damned?

Because of Kikyo.

It was Kikyo who felt pity on a corrupted man. It was Kikyo who offered that bandit shelter and gave him her trust.

And how had that man repaid her? By selling his soul and merging with demons. By killing her and betraying her trust causing her to turn against her love.

No, Kagome wanted scream. Inuyasha would not be her love. He would not be that missing piece of her and she was not Kikyo. She would never be the fallen priestess regardless of the fact they shared a soul.

She was Kagome.

And Kagome was alone.

The well—she had tried, but there was no way. It was sealed and so her life was always sealed away from her.

The others—the bodies lay spread in front of her. Countless villagers dead. Inuyasha had said it didn't matter but she was responsible for it. It was her fault. She had been able to protect these people. They had asked for her help. Naraku was dead but she couldn't protect these people.

"Kagome—"

She didn't want to hear his voice.

"Kagome—"

She didn't say anything.

"Kagome, don't you dare walk away from me. Kagome, look at me!"

She didn't want to hear his voice. He was demanding. He didn't understand. She had given up everything for him and still—

"Kagome, honey it will be alright."

She didn't want to hear her voice either. She didn't want to hear any of their voices. It didn't matter that she hadn't lost anyone here. She had lost her entire existence before the well.

Never would she see her okaasan again. She wouldn't hear her mother's gentle voice. There would be no one to worry about her. No one to greet her when she returned from a near death mission. No sweet voice, no gentle kisses, no hugs and no comfort.

She wouldn't hear her grandfather. His voice and his questions and the annoyingness of his demands. His superstitions would be absent.

But as much as she would miss her brother.

She knew that Sota was growing up. But she would never see him get married, or have children or grow into the good man she knew he would be.

And her family wouldn't know if she was dead or if she was alive. They wouldn't know if she was sad. They wouldn't be there when she was angry or upset.

It was over.

She wanted to cry. She felt the comforting hands of Sango and the tiny hug of Shippo. Miroku was keeping his distance and Inuyasha was trying to win her back.

"Kagome, you know I didn't mean anything I said to Kikyo. You know I love you Kagome," Inuyasha said.

Kagome laughed bitterly. "You love whatever is in front of you Inuyasha. You don't know the meaning the word."

She turned towards the forest.

"Kagome-sama, it's dangerous out there!"

"Kagome, please don't go."

"Kagome, where are you going?"

"Get back here onna! Do you think it's safe out there?"

Kagome didn't respond as she headed deeper to the forest.

It was wrong.

She kissed his lips. They tasted so sweet. She didn't want to leave him. No, never ever ever. She belonged with him. Only he could place back her broken pieces because he had been broken too.

It was wrong.

She meant to die in the woods. She meant to die and somehow return to the future as some sort of guardian spirit. At least then she could watch over Sota and her mother.

She was fully intending to die. She wanted a demon to hurt her, break and kill her. She wanted this pain of knowing that she alone would end.

She knew that Sango loved her like a sister. But Sango had Miroku. Inuyasha claimed he loved her but he would change his mind as soon as a beautiful woman who reminded him of Kikyo came by. Shippo was getting old enough to take care of himself. She could always go to Koga's tribe but then the wolf demon would want to mate with her and she didn't want that.

Death was a solution. It least in death she would be back with people who needed her. She was ready to be exterminated.

And it was then that she saw him.

It was wrong.

She had never loved anyone like him before. She didn't have to pretend to be unbroken Kagome to him. She was just was Kagome, not the miko, not the jewel shard detector, just Kagome.

She had never belonged to anyone before him. They weren't demons and so there were no visible mating marks but there was the necklace he had given her. It was plain but it showed that he loved her seeing that he had made it himself as a boy.

It was wrong.

They stayed together. She didn't know why she stayed with him. Sometimes it was because she thought he reminded her of Sota. Other times he reminded her of his sister. But it was always the same.

He didn't speak much and he still hurt but he was alive. The jewel had let him live. Maybe it had sensed that she had needed someone to understand her.

He led and she followed.

"Where we going?"

"Somewhere safe. I'll have to find us a home. Unless you want to go to the village."

"I want to stay with you."

"You don't have to Kagome-sama."

"Kohaku, I'm not going back to the village. I want to stay with you."

He nodded as he led the way.

It was wrong.

She smiled more as he pressed her close to him. She loved it when he slept but she preferred when he was awake. His dark eyes would peer into hers and she would know what it meant to love and be loved. She did love him. With her everything she loved this broken boy who had grown into a man.

It was wrong.

It had been three years since they had built their own house. Kohaku was determined to go back to being a taijiya. She couldn't stop him but she could at least heal his wounds when he came home.

She was the miko to the neighboring village and the healer. She knew Kohaku wanted to rebuild his village. He had destroyed it and so it seemed only right that he should be the one to rebuild it.

Soon she knew that there would be other taijiya here. Kohaku would accomplish his goal and she would remain with him.

She smiled as she went back to here her herbs.

It was wrong.

They never spoke of the past. They left it forgotten and buried but she still remembered when she first saw him. He was the brave boy, her friend's brother who being controlled by their enemy. Back then all she had felt for him was concern and pity. She could never imagine that she could love him so much.

It was wrong.

Blood gushed out in thick streams.

Don't leave me. Kagome kept thinking.

Don't leave me.

She worked fast as the seventeen year old boy struggled to keep up.

"Kohaku, don't fall asleep. Stay awake. Stay with me."

It had been a large demon and the other taijiya had been fighting other demons. Kohaku had gone alone.

His chest had been clawed into huge pieces. Blood seeped out. It was a miracle he had dragged himself back to the village.

"Kohaku, talk to me. Please, don't fall asleep."

"Don't cry Kagome. I hate it when you cry. If I die it won't be that bad."

"No Kohaku, don't say that. The village needs you."

"The village is growing. New taijiya come every day. And you are the miko. They trust you to make the decisions."

"You can't believe that."

"I'm expendable."

"NO!"

"Kagome just give up."

"I can't."

"Yes, you can."

"NO! I won't loose you too. I love you. I won't loose you too."

"Y-you—"

"Please anata, please."

It was wrong.

She had almost lost him so many times but he always came back. He always came back to her. He was hers and only hers.

It was wrong.

Kagome giggled as Kohaku kissed her. She loved how his eyes would smile instead of his mouth when he was happy.

"You have to be the sweetest thing I know."

"Better than that pocky you were telling me about?"

"I don't know about that."

"Should I kiss you again to prove it?"

She giggled.

"Kohaku!"

The couple split away from each other. Seiji was running up the hill rather quickly. He was one of the younger taijiya of the village.

"Kohaku, there's this woman asking about you. She has long hair and she's carrying a hiraikotsu with her. And there are three others with her. There's a hanyou, a houshi, and a kitsune. She seems adamant about seeming you."

Kohaku glanced at Kagome who was shaking slightly.

"Lead the way Seiji."

"Hai, Kohaku."

Kagome clenched onto Kohaku's hand as they walked towards where the others were waiting.

"Kohaku!"

They heard Sango before they saw her. She came running and hugged her brother.

"I missed you. I can't believe you're alive. I only heard about you by accident."

"I'm alright sister."

It was only then that Sango let ago of her brother.

"Kagome?"

"Hello Sango."

"Kagome, where did you go? We looked everywhere for you. We thought you had died."

"No, I just wanted to get away from the village and I needed to find my own place."

"You could've at least let us known that you were alright."

"Sango, Kagome doesn't need a lecture from you."

Sango turned to stare at her brother.

"Kohaku, Kagome's just lucky you found her. She could be dead."

"She's a miko Sango. She knows how to take care of herself. Besides I didn't find Kagome, she found me."

"She's been taking care of you?"

"We've been taking care of each other."

"Inuyasha will want to take her back. He wants to mate with her."

"That's not going to happen Sango. Kagome doesn't want to go back."

"I need to hear that from Kagome."

The two siblings continued to argue.

"Sango! What the hell are you doing? We have places to go! You said this would be a short visit."

"Lighten up Inuyasha, Sango hasn't seen Kohaku in a long time."

"You know we have things to Miroku. Kaede can't baby-sit for you forever."

"Come on Inuyasha, Sango just wants to see her brother."

"Shut up runt!"

The two siblings were still arguing when Inuyasha and the group walked in.

"Kagome? Listen onna, I can't believe you. This where you've been?"

Kagome's eyes widened.

"Wait ago Inuyasha shout out her when you see her for the first time in four years."

"Shut up you perverted houshi. What do you know about it?"

She wanted to run. She wanted to run and never look back. Don't make her go with him. He had hurt her too much. Don't make her leave with him. No! No! NO! NO!

"LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Kagome felt the yell rip from her voice box.

She felt Kohaku behind her before she saw him and preceded to burry her face into his chest. Kohaku was here. He would force her to leave. He would protect her.

"I suggest you all leave," his voice was like ice.

"Not without Kagome! She is my mate."

"You never mated."

"She's my intended."

"I didn't think yokais mated with non-virgins."

"What are you talking about?"

"Kagome is already mated."

"She can't be she has no mark on her neck."

"Humans don't mark each other Inuyasha."

Comprehension donned on Miroku's face.

"Inuyasha," the monk said, "Kagome is mated. You should leave her be."

"I have a right to challenge her mate. Where is this man? Let me rip him apart," Inuyasha said pulling the Tessaiga from its sheath.

"I don't think you want to do this Inuyasha," Miroku said.

"Why not?"

"Because I'll kill you," Kohaku replied. "I won't let you take what's mine."

It was wrong.

She kissed his neck. He was so beautiful. Why was this man so beautiful? He should be plain but he wasn't. Every horrible thing that had happened to him should have broken but he wasn't. He was the most perfect thing she had ever seen. She didn't care if he had a few cracks.

It was wrong.

Sango could barely look at Kagome.

"How could you?"

Kagome turned to look at her former best friend.

"I love him Sango."

"No, you love Inuyasha and you're using my brother to hurt him."

"I love Kohaku. I can't imagine being without him."

"It's wrong. You took advantage of him. You manipulated him. You're just like Kikyo."

"Sango, it isn't like that. Kohaku makes me feel safe. He protects me. He loves me. He doesn't care that I'm not perfect."

"You're definitely not perfect. I don't care if you did stop his and Inuyasha's fight. You're going to get him killed."

"Sango—"

"What you're doing is wrong Kagome. It's wrong."

The taijiya stormed back towards the village.

"It's not wrong."

"Kohaku?"

"It's not wrong."

"What if Sango's right? What if we're just using each other?"

"Do you think of Inuyasha or drowning out the pain when you're with me?"

"No, I think only of you."

"Then it's not wrong."

It was wrong.

She smiled slightly as he turned towards her his eyes opening.

"I love you," she whispered.

"I know."

She smiled slightly. "Our baby loves you too."

"I know."

It was wrong.

The End

Notes: I really hate it when people use Japanese words and don't translate so I provided the translations.

onna-woman

taijiya-demon exterminator

miko-priestess

anata-sweetheart

harikotsu-boomerang

houshi-priest