A/N : It's Hallowe'en! With his love by his side, will this be the year that Dr.Gregory House finally sees the Great Pumpkin? This parody is based on "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown", adapted from the works of Charles M. Schultz.
Disclaimer: I do not own House M.D., or any of its characters, nor do I profit from this story.
oOoOo
"It's the Great Pumpkin, Jimmy Wilson"
Chapter 1
Every year, just before Hallowe'en, the world-renowned diagnostician,
Dr. Gregory House writes to the Great Pumpkin.
And every year he waits in the most sincere pumpkin patch he can find, hoping to see his mysterious hero.
We join him now at Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital …
Dear Great Pumpkin,
I'm looking forward to seeing you on Hallowe'en. I hope that you will bring me lots of presents …
"House, I hope you're not doing what I think you're doing!"
House looked up from his clipboard to see Dr. Lisa Cuddy and Dr. Jimmy Wilson standing in the doorway of his office.
"I'm just writing a letter, that's all," he said, shielding his work from her prying eyes. "You're always bugging me about not answering my mail and now that I'm working on it, you're giving me a hard time. Sheeesh …. I can't win!" he pouted, as he sunk back into his favourite yellow recliner and pulled his trusty motorcycle jacket tightly around his shoulders.
Lisa glared at House.
She knew what he was really up to.
The orange stationery was a dead give-away.
"You're writing to the Great Pumpkin again, aren't you House?"
"If word ever gets out that my Head of Diagnostic Medicine believes in the Great Pumpkin, I'll be the laughing stock of the AMA!!"
"The Great Pumpkin?" questioned Jimmy Wilson, to no one in particular.
House's blue eyes twinkled with excitement as he leaned forward in his chair to explain.
"Haven't you heard of the Great Pumpkin, Jimmy Wilson? On Hallowe'en night the Great Pumpkin rises out of his pumpkin patch and flies through the air with his bag of toys for all the children."
"You must be crazy House … aren't you confusing the Great Pumpkin with Santa Claus?" Jimmy Wilson said.
House sighed.
There was no point in continuing.
No one ever believed him.
"Fine. Have it your way …" he said sadly, "go ahead … laugh at me."
And they did.
"There are three things that I've learned never to discuss with people: politics, why Lisa Cuddy dresses so inappropriately for work and the Great Pumpkin."
"C'mon Jimmy Wilson, let's go to your office." Lisa huffed, leading Jimmy Wilson towards the door. "Get back to work, House … your real work!"
"The Great Pumpkin my aaaaa ……" Her voice faded away as she left the office.
"Hey Lisa?" House shouted after her, "You're right! The Great Pumpkin is about the same size as your aaaaa….."
House's smirk was accompanied by a dainty giggle from across the room.
Dr. Ally Cameron grinned and looked up from the Lupus text she was studying at his desk.
"You say the funniest things," she laughed.
House smiled.
He knew she was laughing at his joke, not at him.
It had been a wonderful month.
House was so happy that Ally had come back to PPTH that he used any excuse he could think of to visit the Emergency Department where she worked as the new Senior Attending.
And today was the icing on the cake as far as he was concerned.
She had come to see him; ostensibly, to borrow a book.
But they both knew better, though they wouldn't say.
"Ally …" House said shyly, "Would you like to join me in the pumpkin patch this year?" he asked hopefully.
She smiled a smile that outshone her golden hair. "Oh, I'd love to."
"I'd better be going now. Bye House, thank you for lending me your book." she said sweetly.
He returned to his letter to make one very important change.
Dear Great Pumpkin,
I'm looking forward to seeing you on Hallowe'en. I hope that you will bring me and Ally lots of presents …
House was soooo excited!
This Hallowe'en, for the very first time, he would have company with him in the pumpkin patch. Surely they would see the Great Pumpkin this year!
But first, House had to mail his letter.
He raced out of the hospital and drove to the nearest Post Office.
oOoOo
Department of Oncology, James Wilson M.D.
Every day when he arrived for work, Jimmy Wilson would ask his secretary the same old question. "I don't suppose there's any mail for me, is there Marjorie?"
But today, instead of a "Nope …" Marjorie handed him an envelope.
For once, he had mail!
Jimmy Wilson danced with joy.
"I got an invitation to Hallowe'en party. I've never been invited to a party before."
"Is it an invitation to Violet Vogler's Hallowe'en Hootenanny?"
Lisa scowled as Jimmy Wilson nodded. "Your name must have wound up on the wrong list. You were on the, don't invite list."
Just then, Ally Cameron walked by the door.
"Hi Ally, there's going to be a Hallowe'en Hootenanny!" said Jimmy Wilson. "Did you get an invitation? Hey, there's Violet too!" Ally Cameron looked through her mail.
"Yes, yes I did. Hi Violet, thanks for the invitation," she said, as she greeted the raven-haired beauty.
"I wonder if House will take me …", for as much as she wanted to go to the party, Ally wanted to be with her "sweet baboo" even more.
"House? There's no way he'll go to Violet's party," laughed Lisa. "He'll be out in the pumpkin patch, just like he is every Hallowe'en, making a fool of himself all over again."
"Boy, House is strange," Violet chimed in. "He's always missing all the fun. Gotta go … see you tonight at my party."
"Maybe there is a Great Pumpkin!" Ally said, defending her sweetheart.
"Yea, right …" they answered, turning to other things.
But Ally soon forgot about the Great Pumpkin.
It was time to get ready for Hallowe'en!
The gang decided they would all be ghosts and scampered off to the hospital's linen supply closet to grab some sheets for their costumes.
That is everyone, except Lisa.
It wasn't long before Jimmy Wilson's office was filled with ghosts of all shapes and sizes, and even though they were dressed the same, it wasn't hard to figure out who everyone was.
They guessed Ally first – 'cause only a girl would be a princess ghost and wear a tiara on her head. Jimmy Wilson was a friendly ghost, with a bright yellow happy face painted around his eye-holes.
They stared at the ghost wearing a sheet full of holes. "Chase, is that you?"
"Yep, it's me," Dr. Chase said, as he struggled to see. "I had a little trouble with the scissors … I still don't have the holes for my eyes in the right spot!"
Suddenly the filthiest ghost they had ever seen walked through the door.
"Hi guys, sorry I'm late."
"Dr. Foreman, what happened to your costume?" Jimmy Wilson asked.
"I took a shortcut through the alleyway just as the janitor was emptying a bin into the dumpster," he said, as the clouds of dust settled at his feet.
"Hey everybody, look at me … I'm a witch!" Lisa shouted with glee.
She vogued for the gang in a sultry, black robe, a hideous green mask and an orange cone-shaped hat that was festooned with golden stars.
"Why Lisa, that costume … it's you!" quipped Ally.
"Thanks Ally. Hey, who's that?" Lisa asked, pointing at a strange figure in the room, dressed in a bright green aviator's cap, goggles and a jaunty red scarf.
Jimmy Wilson explained. "It's my dog, Hector. He's always wanted to be a World War I Flying Ace."
As the group left the hospital, Lisa decided that she would take charge of the evening's activities … Flying Ace or no Flying Ace,
"Should we take my car?" Jimmy Wilson offered.
"No, let's walk. That way we can go trick-or-treating on the way to Violet Vogler's party." she declared.
But when their backs were turned, Hector slipped off into the night.
oOoOo
While House waited anxiously in the pumpkin patch for the Great Pumpkin to appear, he decided to pass the time with a little music.
He reached into his backpack, unrolled his portable keyboard and began to sing. Soon the night sky was filled with the dulcet tones of his rich baritone voice.
I wish you a Happy Hallowe'en,
I wish you a Happy Hallowe'en,
I wish you a Happy Hallowe'en,
The Great Pumpkin is near.
House spotted a black cat staring at him from atop a nearby fence. "Do you have any requests? What's that? Orange Pumpkin? That's one of my favourites!"
I'm dreaming of a Great Pump-kin,
Just like the one I want to fly,
While its orange rind glistens,
The children listen,
To hear, it zooming through the sky …
"Oooo, you'll like this one too …" he continued.
Ohhhh, youuuu, better watch out,
You better not cry,
You better not shout,
I'm telling you why,
The Great Pumpkin is com-ing to towwwnnnn ….
Just then the gang walked by.
"Have you come to sing pumpkin carols with me?" House asked.
"You're a moron House. You're going to miss all of the fun again," Lisa said.
"How dare you say that!" House exclaimed. "I know that the Great Pumpkin will come this year because this is, without a doubt, the most sincere pumpkin patch in all of Princeton."
"Oh good grief!"
Ally's heart ached for House.
Their eyes met.
She ran to stand by his side.
"You go on ahead, Lisa … I'm going to stay with House." she called.
"Suit yourself," Lisa's answered, as she marched off with her ghostly entourage trailing behind her.
House grinned.
He led Ally to a soft patch of pumpkin leaves, where they sat and leaned against the fence. House tentatively slipped an arm around her shoulder and smiled when she snuggled closer at his touch.
"Just think Ally. Soon you'll see the Great Pumpkin with your very own eyes! The Great Pumpkin has to pick this patch. I checked them all out – this is the most sincere patch in all of Princeton."
And people wonder why I love him so … thought Ally.