AN: This is the last chapter in this story, but I am currently working on a sequel.

AN: This story has major spoilers for every episode involving trellium.

AN: This takes place three weeks after chapter 4.

CHAPTER 5

(Three weeks later)

T'pol hurriedly grabbed an ev-suit and threw it on over her dirty uniform. After she locked down her helmet, she pushed open the cargo bay doors in search of only one thing. This one thing will help her feel the emotions her Human bondmate will need from her. She noticed it helped in socializing, and she'll need to build up an immunity to trellium so that the Enterprise will be safe from them; the Xindi. They tried to destroy Earth, thinking that in the future, Earth was going to destroy them. Their new mission was to go and seek them out. They couldn't let Earth down, and she couldn't let Jonathon – or his crew – down. Therefore, it was logical she start "building an immunity" to trellium.

At least, that's her excuse.

In reality, she, however, is not only doing this for him; she is also doing this for herself. The way the trellium makes her feel, the wonderful emotions it brought out in her! A few weeks after starting to take small amounts, she noticed a change in her. She noticed how she also wanted it more and more, how she needed it more and more! In order to keep this from Jonathon, she'd have to put up her mental shields. The only (well not only) problem, he was already starting to suspect something.

As she got the amount she needed, she headed for the doors. Taking of her ev-suit, she hid her horrible treasure in her pocket and headed for her quarters…

…………………………………………….

Meanwhile, as Jonathon wondered down the corridors of Enterprise, he started feeling… strange. His heartbeat increased and he felt jittery. It was hard for him to concentrate and he started to fidget. He even felt, what seemed like, excitement! "What the hell?!" He had nothing to feel excited about! And it came on so suddenly. He'd been feeling this for some time… at least a few weeks.

Something was not right.

He turned around and headed for sickbay, hoping to find some answers. But then again, maybe it was the bond. Perhaps he should talk to T'pol before going to Phlox. He knew that Phlox knew about their bond, but his mate comes first. After all; he didn't feel like having a long – usually up to four hours – talk with Phlox, not right now. All he needed to do was talk to T'pol.

But, what if she would fail to acknowledge the problem?

He tried to talk about it a few days ago, but she just dismissed it as being new to the bond:

"How come you aren't feeling these 'side effects'?"

"I have been bonded before, Jonathon; to Koss."

"Did this happen when you bonded to Koss?"

"I am Vulcan."

"I know that…"

"A Vulcan's mind is more disciplined than a Human's mind. All I remember about being bonded to Koss, and want to remember, is that I felt irregular for a few days. I most likely meditated and suppressed it. You might feel strange for a few days as your mind adjusts to me being a part of it."

"That sounds 'logical'."

"Indeed."

"How long before it dissipates?"

"Unknown."

"And if it doesn't?"

"We will 'cross that bridge when we come to it'."

He noticed that during their whole conversation, she didn't make eye contact. She kept on swallowing hard. He even noticed that he couldn't enter her mind through their bond. Those, except for not being able to enter her mind, are all signs of… lying. "No, she wouldn't lie to me. After all; 'Vulcan's don't lie'." He thought harder, "Maybe she's not lying; she's just… hiding something. No, she would never do that to me! What am I even thinking?" He was starting to get confused. He needed to talk to T'pol, NOW!

………………………………

As T'pol entered the privacy of her quarters, she noticed she couldn't stop the adrenaline rush that was surging through her shaking body. She hurriedly put the trellium into a liquefier and, once it was liquid, administered it into herself. Oh, the feel of this warm liquid rushing through her veins! She had come to love the feeling as the trellium entered her. The way it made her feel, the emotions it released from her!

There was just this one little thing that she hated about taking trellium. She always felt guilty afterwards. And this one question had come to her mind lately: "What if I get addicted? What if I already am? What would I tell Jonathon?"

………………………………………

In the mess hall, Travis, Hoshi, and Malcolm were all eating their desert. Travis noticed how Malcolm kept glancing over at Hoshi. Whenever he did, Travis just started laughing!

"What it is, Travis?!" a giggling Malcolm asked.

"Nothin'," said Travis, still laughing.

"Oh sure," chimed in Hoshi, sarcastically. "Nobody just sits there, eating pie, laughing at 'nothing', Travis. C'mon, what the heck is so funny?"

"Really, it's nothing. Just… go back to eating," Travis exclaimed, still laughing, but mostly at what Hoshi said, now.

"Well, you know Travis, it's difficult to eat whenever the person right across from you keeps laughing every five minutes, making you jump in your seat!" remarked Malcolm, giggling.

"I'm sorry. It's just so… funny!"

"What?!" asked Hoshi and Malcolm in unison.

"The way Malcolm keeps looking at you whenever you're not looking."

"What?!"Again asked Hoshi and Malcolm in unison.

Malcolm was the first to recover. Smiling, he said, "Travis, that pie has gone to your bloody head. I have no idea as to what you're talking about."

"Sure," Travis said sarcastically.

All was silent for a few minutes, until…

"Hey, have you guys noticed anything strange about the Sub Commander?"

"I haven't."

"Neither have I. Why, have you?"

"Yeah. The way she stares at the Captain, how emotional she's been acting. And, I went to the locker room, where the ev-suits are kept because I left something there, and noticed one missing today, just before I came here. At that same time, I didn't see the Sub Commander on the bridge several minutes ago. I think maybe she was using it."

"I wasn't told of any away missions," whined Travis.

"Maybe she likes to play dress up," Malcolm joked.

"No! It's something else. Anyway, keep your eye open and let's keep this between us. It may be nothing."

"Good idea. If I see anything unusual, I'll let y'all know," said Travis.

"So will I," agreed Malcolm.

Hoshi could only nod in agreement, having stuffed her face with chocolate pie.

…………………………….

T'pol hid everything in the closed locker next to their bed, for Jonathon would be coming soon. She couldn't let him find out! As soon as she finished shoving the liquefier and hypo-sprayer out of sight, the door opened and in walked Jonathon. He looked very, very… unsettled.

"Good evening, T'hy'la. How was your shift?" T'pol asked, walking over to her bondmate and giving him a sound kiss on the lips. She was sincerely trying hard to keep herself acting normal, as she had done several other times.

"It was fine," Jonathon remarked unemotionally. He didn't know how to block his thoughts from her, but tried as best he could not to show the question T'pol so clearly saw in his eyes. He saw the charm around her neck.

"Jonathon, I cannot enter your mind. Are you hiding something?"

"No. Are you?'

"Why would you ask that?"

"I can't enter your mind either."

"Perhaps you are still trying to – "

"Get used to the bond?" Jonathon finished. He didn't know if she was hiding anything or not, but he knew something was up. "Look, T'pol, you've been acting really different lately. I want to know what it is."

"It is nothing."

"I also want to know why these 'getting used to the bond' symptoms are still acting up."

"Describe them."

"They aren't persistent; they just… pop up at least every other day. I get excited – with nothing to be excited about, I start to fidget. I get what feels like… an adrenaline rush. I don't know if you understand what that is, but…"

T'pol thought for a moment. "Strange, those are the same things I feel whenever I use the trellium. Maybe the bond is strong between us. And how can he shield his mind? I haven't taught him how yet!"

Jonathon took his communicator out of his pocket and headed for the closed locker next to their bed.

T'pol could only watch.

If she tried to stop him, he would become more suspicious. In both ways, he would find out.

What to do now?

As soon as he opened the locker door, the liquefier and hypo-sprayer fell to the floor. He looked down, then at T'pol, then inside the locker. He picked up the liquefier first. "What is this?"

"A… liquefier," T'pol answered shamefully.

He set it on the bed and went back to pick up the hypo-sprayer. "I know what this is, but I don't know what it's doing here." He looked at her sternly, "Do you?"

"Yes," she whispered, fidgeting with her fingers.

"You mind telling me?"

"Yes," she repeated in the same manner.

"T'pol, what the hell is going on?!" He asked firmly.

She looked up at him, speechless. She didn't know what else to do but… to run. As she headed for the door, a strong arm held her back. She tried to escape from it, but Jonathon turned her around and hugged her to his chest… and not planning to let go anytime soon. She struggled to be set free, but he wasn't about to let her. She was able to bring her fists to his chest and she started to hit him repeatedly, saying – crying – in Vulcan, "Ti'amah! Ti'amah!" (Let me go! Let me go!)

Finally, about two minutes later, she stopped. If Jonathon wouldn't have been holding her, she would have dropped to the ground. Crying loudly, she hugged Jonathon's neck. He picked her up and carried her over to their bed. As he set her down on his lap, she tightened her embrace around him. He did the same. She laid her head upon his shoulder with her face buried in his neck, sobbing and whimpering. She was getting her saliva all over his neck, but he didn't care at the moment. One hand was gripping the fabric of his uniform, the other laid on his chest.

"T'pol, we have to communicate. Tell me everything… truthfully! I have never seen you like this before. Please,"Jonathon sent through their now open bond.

"It is difficult to explain in words. Allow me to meld with you, that way you can see the truth from your eyes," she sent back. Even when she communicated through the bond her voice was wavering.

"Okay, go ahead."

T'pol quickly straddled his lap and put her fingers on his contact points. As she entered his mind, she kept telling him that she loved him. Then, she opened her mind and let him explore every inch of the truth she had been hiding from him. He was shocked and upset at her. Not only at the illogical excuse she made, but that she hid it from him too! How could she?!

Of course, T'pol picked up every stray thought of his. She expected him to become angry, and could only hope he would be just as forgiving. She ended the meld and stepped off of him, still crying, but not as loud.

He got up to and went towards the inter comm. "Archer to Tucker," he demanded.

"Tucker here, sir. What can I do fer ya?" Trip noticed the tone in his Captains voice… like he was extremely pissed off.

"I need you to dispose all of the trellium through the transporter… now!"

"Yes sir. Tucker out." He knew not to ask why.

"T'pol, we need to go to sickbay. I want to find out what will happen to you. I know trellium is harmful to Vulcan's, and I really am concerned for you."

"Do you still wish to be my bondmate, after everything I've done?"

"T'pol, I will always love you, even if I am upset with you. I don't want to hear that question ever again. Go clean up your face and I'll take you to sickbay."

T'pol enjoyed knowing he was so protective of her, not wanting anyone to know she had been crying her eyes out. She also knew she shouldn't probably argue with him.

As she got into the lavatory, she turned on the warm water and pumped soap into her hands. She rubbed in the wonderful soap that smelled of roses and vanilla and then washed it off with the warm, relaxing water. When she was finished, she came out only to see Jonathon tear-eyed. She felt ashamed… so ashamed.

"Jonathon, I didn't want to hurt you like this. I… love you. I have been a horrid bondmate for you. I don't understand how you could ever want someone like… me."

"Someone like you?"

"Well, yes…"

"T'pol, like I said: I love you too much to let you go. I'm going to help you through this, even if I have to put you in the brig to keep you away from that stuff. Besides, I already told Trip to get rid of it anyway. We are going to win this together. Do you understand?"

"Yes. We should head to sickbay. I don't want to waste any time becoming myself again."