A/N: Hey guys, I'm back!
I'm like legit sorry I died. I just had a lot of shit to do, and my NaruSaku/COMB muse just died, and I never updated. But its Spring Break now…
Anyway, moving on…!
And now, to bring up the ultimate topic…
FANART! (Because I know you all are just dying to draw me some)
Anyway, if you want to draw fanart for this lovely fanfiction, just PM me or tell me in a review, and I'll say yes!
Because I LOVE FANARTS ROFL.
Summary: Uzumaki Naruto, Rokudaime Hokage, has overcome countless hardships, faced many Akatsuki members, and even dealt with the Kyuubi almost killing him. But will he be able to handle a baby? NaruSaku
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING rofl
Month 5: Ramen Battle! Naruto vs. Sakura!
And so, we have now made our way into the fifth…yes, I said fifth, month of this beautiful, yet torturously troublesome adventure called pregnancy. Shit, did I just say troublesome again?
I'm sure you're all just dying for a recap of just what I went through so far.
Well, you're not getting one.
Anyway, but regardless of whether she's craving something obscure or not, Uzumaki Sakura has made it her duty to brutally torture me throughout this pregnancy.
Recently, her pregnancy bump had been starting to protrude (and now, we were able to tell that she was pregnant), and all I heard from her were complaints of how fat and ugly she was.
I tried to tell her that she wasn't fat, and that she was beautiful, but all that earned me was a punch in the face courtesy of one hormonal psychopath.
And then, there was her incessant need to pee. During important meetings, during baby shopping, during dinner with our friends, during sex, during everything!
So here I am, sitting in my study, rubbing the newest addition (which was another black eye) to my collection of battle scars that I gained as a result of this pregnancy. Surprisingly, the ones from the first trimester have all healed up. But it's not like new ones didn't take their places. Seriously, she once threw a chair at me. That hurt like hell.
"UZUMAKI NARUTO!"
Shit…
Sakura shouted my name loudly, snapping me out of my thoughts. I had a feeling that she was angry. It must be the tone of voice.
"Yes, dear?" I called back, hesitating a bit, and bracing myself out of habit.
"Come down please. I want to talk to you." She replied cheerfully. Damn those mood swings of hers.
"Oh…alright then." I said, descending the stairs to find my five-months-pregnant wife standing at the bottom of the staircase, hands on her hips.
I reached the bottom of the stairs, and scratched my head in blatant confusion.
"What do you need?" I asked.
"Naruto…I'm hungry."
Oh, shit. The two words of doom, destruction and death that have made my life a living hell since the "penis" comment.
"You're…hungry?" I asked, for clarification.
She nodded her head slowly, implying that I was an idiot.
"What…do you want to eat?" I asked hesitantly, getting ready for an onslaught of obscure, disgusting food.
"Ichiraku Ramen."
Oh, shit. Did she just say Ichiraku's? I thought she hated Ichiraku's!
"Did…did you just say Ichiraku's?" I asked mouth agape.
"No. I said Ichiroku's, Naruto. Of course I said Ichiraku's!"
"Don't you hate Ichiraku's, Sakura-chan?" I asked again.
"Well…yes…but….you know how I work, Naruto." She said, exasperated.
I did everything in my power to keep myself from squealing in delight as I picked up my wife and twirled her around the room.
"Oh, Sakura-chan! My life is complete! You actually want to go to Ichiraku's with me!" I said joyously.
"N…Naru…" She began.
"What, my dear Ramen-loving Sakura-chan?" I asked in a sing-song voice.
"Put.Me.Down. Before I kill you and/or throw up on you." She threatened.
"Oh…well then." I said, putting her down.
"Let's go!" I then said, and dragged my bewildered wife out of the room and to the Ramen store.
At Ichiraku's…
"Naruto-kun! Sakura-chan! What are you doing here?" Yamanaka Ino's cheerful voice rang through the ramen shop as we entered the stand, and sat down next to our friends.
"Sakura-san, I thought you hated ramen." Sai who had just finished his first bowl, and was currently chewing on his chopsticks, asked.
"Well…yeah…but you know how I work, right Sai?" She said, sitting down.
"Well, I guess so, but ramen, Sakura-san?" Sai asked, raising an eyebrow. Sakura shrugged, and I laughed as we ordered our ramen.
Minutes later, it was brought to us. Sakura dove into her ramen, while I shouted my usual 'Itadakimasu!' before beginning to devour.
"Oi, dobe!"
"Naruto-kun, Sakura-chan!"
That must be good ol' Uchiha Sasuke, and Hyuuga Hinata, who appeared oh so conveniently at the same time. Yep. It was. He walked into the stand, and promptly took a seat next to me, and Hinata sat next to my wife.
"Heya, Sasuke-teme, whatcha doin here?" I asked, strands of noodles hanging from my mouth. I slurped them up into my mouth and licked my lips and looked at him.
"Swallow your ramen, and then talk to me, dobe." Sasuke hissed, sitting down and ordering a miso ramen.
"I thought you hated ramen, you bastard." I pouted.
"I thought your wife hated ramen too. I see I'm wrong." Sasuke smirked, as he turned to watch Sakura as she devoured bowl after bowl of ramen.
"…wow…" I whispered, clearly awed.
"I never knew she could eat so much ramen…" Sai whispered.
Sasuke merely nodded as we watched. It was eerily silent for a few moments, until Sasuke broke it. Now that I think about it, I really, really wish he didn't…
"Who do you think can eat more ramen? You, Naruto or your wife?" He asked.
"Wh…what?" I asked, flabbergasted.
"Yeah. Who do you think would eat more ramen, Sai? Naruto or Sakura?" Sasuke asked.
"Definitely Sakura." Sai said, nodding his head.
"No way! I can eat more ramen then Sakura ever can." I boasted.
"Sure you can. I say that if you and Sakura hold a contest, she'll out-eat you until you barf." Sai smirked.
"Wanna take a bet on that, you stupid idiot?" I sneered.
"Fine. Let's bet. And if I win, then I get to take your wife on a date." Sai said, extending his hand.
"Fine. And if I win, I get to take Ino on a date." I said, shaking it, feeling extra-super confident.
A ramen-eating contest? This was gonna be super easy. If I was blessed with any specialty as Hokage of this place, it definitely was the ability to eat a shitload of ramen.
Getting up, I walked over to my wife, who was happily chatting with Hinata-chan and Ino-chan.
"Sakura-chan?" I asked, tapping her on the shoulder.
"Hm…oh yeah, Naruto?"
"Wanna have a ramen eating contest with me? I mean, not like you'd out-eat me or anything…" I said smugly.
"Really now. You think that you can out-eat me in a ramen contest?" Sakura asked innocently.
"Yup. I'd eat the crap outta you." I said, placing my hands on my hips.
"Wanna take a bet on that, tough guy?" She asked, glaring at me.
Another one? Goddamnit, these bets are coming by the motherload! Ah well…anything to humiliate Sai.
"Hell yeah. What do I get if I win?" I asked.
"A free reprieve for one food." She said, nodding her head in approval, and I pumped my fist into the air.
"Sounds like a plan!" I said happily, shaking her hands.
"Wait a minute, Hokage-sama. What if I win this?" Sakura asked, eyeing me slightly.
"Um…you…win…" I began, scratching my head.
"You make…whatever you want for dinner tonight?" I asked.
"Tch, whatever." She huffed, shaking my hand.
And with that, the two of us sat down, and got ready to eat. Teuchi and Ayame were already working on the ramen supply for the contest.
Meanwhile, the Sasuke, Sai, Ino and Hinata had gathered around, and were now discussing the betting pool they were making.
"So…Naruto and Sakura are having a contest, eh. My bet's on Sakura kicking his ass. I'm betting 10000 ryo." Ino said confidently.
"I say Dickless surrenders out of pity. My bet is 20000 ryo." Sai grinned.
"I say they tie. And I'll bet 9000 ryo." Sasuke nodded.
"I say Naruto-kun wins. But I won't bet any money." Hinata piped up.
"Tch, spoilsport." Ino huffed, and turned to watch the couple, blissfully unaware of a possible date with the Hokage if he were to win.
"On your mark…get set…GO!" Teuchi shouted, and we both dove into our ramen.
"I didn't know they could eat so…so fast!" Hinata said, in awe of how fast the ramen was going.
"Come on, Sakura-chan…win…win…" Sai whispered, moving his fists up and down.
Sasuke and Ino were laughing, and enjoying the show.
We ate bowl after bowl and shoved ramen down our throats. Finally, I gave in. I just was physically not able to do this anymore. I mean, as much as I loved ramen to death, the 18 bowls I had just ate, combined with the 6 I had had before was just too much for me to handle. Hokage or not, I just couldn't take the strain. I was done. Uzumaki Naruto, Rokudaime Hokage, was out.
Groaning, I pushed my half-eaten miso ramen bowl away, and clutched my stomach. Surely, Sakura-chan had to have finished by now.
I turned my head to stare at my wife, and she was…still going?
"Sakura-chan! You're still eating? What number bowl are you on?" I asked incredulously.
"Thirty, why? I can still keep on going though." She replied, with noodles in her mouth.
"And here I thought I loved ramen…" I murmured, in awe.
"What's the matter, Naruto-kun? You can't eat anymore? She teased, wagging a chopstick in my general direction.
Groaning, I sighed. "I guess…I guess I lost the contest." I muttered.
"YES! I won!" Ino shouted, jumping up.
"YES! I won!" Sai shouted, jumping up.
"YES! I…wait. How did you two win?" Sakura asked, turning to gaze at her two friends.
"Well…they sorta-kinda held a betting pool…" Hinata began.
"What? A betting pool?" Sakura asked angrily.
"B…but…but I didn't participate, I promise, Sakura-chan!" Hinata said,
Ino grinned hungrily as Sasuke and Sai reluctantly handed their money. Hinata grinned, mentally thanking herself for not participating and losing any money.
Sakura then turned to face Sai. "So…why did you say you won?" She asked, glaring at the artist.
"Ask Dickless, not me. I'll just get started preparing for our date." He said, grinning his infamous grin.
"Our…date…?" She asked, shocked. She then turned around to stare at me.
I think I shit my pants, what with the glare she was giving me.
"Uzumaki Naruto…what the fuck did you do with Sai?" She asked me, ever so quietly.
"I…um…" I began.
"They bet that whoever was to win the contest, they would go on a date with the winner's significant other. Like, since you won, Sakura-chan, you're going on a date with Sai." Sasuke explained, and Sai grinned.
"And if Naruto won, then he and Ino would have gone on a date." Sasuke explained.
"What? Why the fuck to I have to get involved with your stupid games?" Ino asked angrily.
"Sorry, Ino-chan!" I said sheepishly.
"I can't believe you, Naruto! Making me go…on a date…with…with him!" She shouted at me, pointing at Sai, and shuddering.
"Hey, I resent that, Sakura-chan." He said, feigning hurt.
"Come on, Naruto. Let's go home." She said angrily, and dragged me by the ear out of Ichiraku's, and back to our house.
"Bye, Naruto-kun! Bye Sakura-chan!" Hinata shouted, waving.
Unfortunately, we couldn't wave back…
Later…
"Naruto?" Sakura asked me quietly as we sat in our bed, her comfortable in the crook of my arm.
"Hmm?" I asked, as I was drifting off to sleep.
"Until the baby's born, I'm not allowing ramen within 32 feet of this household. I'm fucking sick of ramen." She murmured.
"What, what, WHAT?"
But she was already asleep.
And that my friends, was the worst battle scar of all.
A/N: Finito! And finished while playing Brawl, too.
Next Chapter: You get to decide! I'm holding a poll to see what you guys want me to write for the next chapter.
If you're too lazy to look at my profile, here are the choices:
A wedding with Sakura angry at Naruto for "calling her fat"
Another Que Hora Es cameo
Naruto and Sakura talk with Neji and Hinata regarding pregnancy and children
A mission to Suna, giving Gaara and Kankurou deserved screentime.
Other (Tell me in a PM/Review)
Drop a review, or vote in the poll to decide! Happy voting!
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