Author Note: Here's my response to JK Rowling's "outing" of everybody's favorite Headmaster. This is a parody fic.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters.

"She wants us to WHAT?" asked Gellert Grindelwald with equal parts astonishment and revulsion.

Albus fidgeted with his wizard's cap, wringing it through both hands in hopes of dispelling some of the embarrassment that was turning his cheeks an impressive shade of red. With enormous effort he managed to look the other wizard in the eye.

"Yes, Gellert, I realize this has probably come as quite a shock to you. Believe me when I say the news was rather unexpected for me, also." Albus frowned to himself. "No, perhaps 'unexpected' isn't the right word. More confounded…sucker-punched…bushwhacked…either way, it's been very unsettling."

Grindelwald nodded fervently in agreement but still did not speak.

Dumbledore cleared his throat. "Well, I thought it would be best for us to just accept it and to put our best feet forward. After all, who are we to question the will of the creator?" Pleased that his words had come out exactly as practiced and made what he thought was a winning point, Dumbledore beamed, hands triumphantly at his hips, and waited for his friend's response.

"So…all of this," Grindelwald indicated Dumbledore with a swoop of the hand, "is to, what, get the ball rolling, then?" Dumbledore surveyed himself for a moment, the blush returning to his face.

"Perhaps appearing naked on your doorstep was not the most conventional way of telling you that the author wants us to," he fumbled for the words, "make like bunnies; But then again, there really are no precedents for these things." Another awkward moment ticked by. "So what do you say; Partners?" He offered his most winning smile.

As the door slammed in Albus' face, he knew it was not going to go over well with the boss.