Part Three
The Love That Makes Them
Molly had a full table, and Hermione could tell she was loving every minute of it. The Burrow was the kind of place people wanted to visit anyway, and it had pretty much become known for its gatherings, but for Christmas Eve dinner the crowd was even bigger than usual. The youngest member of the family of the family was even present—Alexander Ronald Potter had come into their lives barely three weeks previous—and they were only still waiting on the oldest to arrive. Bill's portkey was supposed to have arrived half an hour earlier, but he'd evidently been delayed.
Hermione smoothed her napkin but didn't allow herself to fidget any more than that. Truth be told, the whole table had been restless ever since Molly announced that dinner would not be served until her last child arrived. The new baby had provided a welcome distraction for a while, but she was pretty sure there would be mutiny if certain members of the family didn't get to eat soon. Her hands instinctively fiddled with her necklace, but she returned them to her sides as soon as she realized what she was doing. It wasn't hunger that was making her stomach queasy, but no one else needed to know that.
"Come on, Mum," said Fred, turning on just about the most pitiful imitation of innocence that Hermione had ever seen. "Old Bill won't mind if we take a couple of bites before he gets here."
"If he doesn't get here soon, he's not going to be able to eat when I'm through with him," grumbled Charlie. He'd been irritable ever since the very public argument he'd had with his fiancé that morning, but having the smell of food in the house without being able to eat it seemed to be the last straw. Possibly even worse than the fight.
"You can wait," said Molly firmly as she leaned over to pour some more wine in his glass.
Charlie grunted in response, but took the bottle and did the same for a few of his neighbours. Hermione had barely touched her glass, but he topped it off nonetheless. She wondered briefly if maybe having a little alcohol in her system would help pass the time easier, but she decided she'd rather have a clear head. If she was only going to see Bill a few times a year, she definitely wanted to remember every minute.
"I don't see why he's so important all the sudden," said George in a conversational tone. Then he grinned. "Ron never would have stood for it. You never could resist feeding little Ronnikins, Mum."
"No, she was just trying to fatten up Harry," said Ginny with a giggle. "Ron just got to share in the spoils."
"Share in them, sneak them when he didn't think his Mum was looking, wake up at three in the morning for them," said Hermione, laughing. "And yet he would never gain a pound."
"What can I say?" Fred input, puffing up his chest. "Us Weasleys are just blessed with excellent physiques, I suppose."
"Speak for yourself," said Ginny, a hint of bitterness in her voice. The youngest child of the family was anything but chubby, but Hermione knew from her friend's previous pregnancies that the baby weight didn't come off as easily as the others thought. It was only through diligence and hard work on Ginny's part that she could make it appear so.
Molly opened her mouth, probably to refute her daughter's opinion's on the Weasley females' metabolisms—while the woman had thinned out quite a but since her husband's death, a result of depression in the early days, she was still no Glamour Witch spokeswitch—but she was interrupted by the arrival of a tiny little Express Post owl zooming in the kitchen window they left cracked for that purpose. Molly divested it of a small envelope, and the bird flew back out so quickly that they practically never saw the animal.
A frown settled onto the woman's face as she read the note, and Hermione immediately knew without reading it exactly what it said. "He's not coming, is he?" she said softly, before she could even think to stall the words.
Several heads turned to look at her, and Molly said, "No dear, he's not. There's been an emergency at work. He's not sure he'll be able to make it back for Christmas at all."
Hermione felt suddenly nauseous. He was supposed to have been home for a whole week, and now she probably wasn't going to get to see him at all. A little voice in the back of her head reminded her that it was probably for the best; torturing herself by half-living her life between his visits was no way to continue. But there was another voice there, too, and it was telling her just as strongly that without those visits, what was the point? She forced the arguments back into the deep crevices of her mind and looked back up at her family, putting on a happy smile.
"Well, what are you waiting for?" she said in such a cheery tone that she was surprised herself. When no one moved, she rolled her eyes and clarified. "Eat. We don't have to wait anymore."
As soon as this fact sunk into the men's heads, didn't waste any more time gawking at her and dug into the feast Molly had prepared. The matriarch herself gave Hermione one last little observing gaze before finally sitting at the head of the table and allowing her sons to pass the food her way. Only Ginny continued to watch her with a knowing expression on her face, shaking her head in frustration before turning to the food. Her best friend was stubborn, to be sure, but not even that was going to convince Hermione she was in the wrong this time.
After dinner everyone gathered as usual, with the kids playing and the adults at least trying to chat amidst all the chaos of playtime. Hermione was curled up in the chair nearest the fire with her favourite afghan and a book, but she wasn't really able to concentrate enough to read. After the first few apologies shot her way, either for Joselyn's paper airplane ending up in her hair, or for Kent deciding that her lap was the apparently the best in the room, she was glad everyone could blame the children for the distraction from her task rather than the true reason.
She found herself messing with the necklace Bill had given her more and more as the late afternoon turned to early evening. The others had periodically put in their guesses in the three months since her birthday, and she had worked on the incantation tirelessly in her spare time—Thursday nights had been particularly bad for her lately, so it wasn't unusual to see her crouched over a complex Charms text and a dictionary, searching for the perfect combination of words—but so far she had been unsuccessful in opening the little box.
"Still no luck, eh?" said Ginny as she came up and settled onto the arm of the chair. She looked more tired than Hermione had seen her in a long time, but the smile she was giving was at least one of genuine happiness.
Hermione shook her head. "I've run out of ideas. I'm still confident Bill will crack eventually, though."
"Somehow I doubt even you will be able to break my brother through letters. Now if he were here…."
"Don't start, Gin," said Hermione in a whisper. She stood up, suddenly wanting to be anywhere but sitting there having that conversation. "I'm tired. I think I'll go up to bed."
"Hermione, you really shouldn't avoid—" started Ginny.
"Goodnight," the other replied firmly with a little shake of her head. Just as she started to walk away, she turned around and added, in a hushed voice, "He's not here, Gin. I have to learn to live with that, and I can't continue as if it's going to change anytime soon. I've got to move on."
Morning came early thanks to all of the children in the house, and Hermione was thankful that she'd gotten in a couple of extra hours of sleep. Well, not so much sleep as rest. She hadn't exactly fallen into a peaceful slumber as soon as her head hit the pillow, but at least she had managed to keep her emotions under control. Her thoughts were something else entirely, and they plagued her once again when she awoke.
She had taken a really close look at her life over the last couple of months, and her short conversation with Ginny the night before had really just solidified everything for her. Her friend was right about one thing—she had been hoping Bill would just magically decide one day that he belonged back here, with her—and Hermione's realization of that fact had not been a pleasant one. Since when had she been the type of person to sit around and let someone else control how she lived her life? Ron had never tried, and he had been her husband.
With her mind made up, she crawled out of bed and threw on her dressing robe, feeling just a little bit more light-hearted than she had before. She could already hear the raucous sounds of children discovering their Christmas gifts and Molly screeching at whichever son had mistakenly assumed it was all right to wander into the kitchen and steal some food. By the time she reached the bottom of the stairs, she had a small smile on her face.
"Good morning, dear," said Molly upon seeing her, no trace of irritation in her voice. Whatever antics Fred and George had already been up to, they obviously hadn't affected the Christmas spirit of the house.
"Good morning, Mum," said Hermione, and she kissed the woman on the cheek, pleased at the reaction the title got. Most of the time she just referred to her mother-in-law as "Molly," but every once in a while she was struck with such affection for her that just her first name wasn't enough.
Angelina handed her a cup of tea, and she settled onto the couch next to Ginny to watch the children pick through their presents with more enthusiasm than was natural for such an early hour. Charlie and his fiancé were cuddled in the chair nearest the fireplace, all arguments of the previous day obviously forgotten, if the amorous manner with which she nuzzled his cheek was any indication. Hermione felt a tiny jolt of jealousy. Not for Charlie, certainly—he was the only Weasley other than Percy for whom she'd never even harboured the tiniest crush—but for that unabashed and completely wonderful display of affection.
"Happy Christmas, Aunt Hermione," said Ginny's twins in such a perfect unison that Hermione would have giggled if she hadn't been so flabbergasted. They handed her a box that was neatly wrapped in shiny red paper before dashing off to play with their cousins. She looked up questioningly at her friend and noticed that most of the room had stopped to look at her.
"Happy Christmas, from all of us," said Harry. "You're a hard witch to buy for, but I think we've managed to come up with something fitting."
She slowly pulled the paper away from the box, at first sticking to the seam lines and then finally pulling it away in big chunks, ready to satisfy her curiosity. What in Merlin's name kind of present would require such a joint effort? When she finally lifted the lid, she was even more confused; inside was an old teddy bear, so worn with age that it might have been her grandmother's childhood toy.
"It's a portkey," said Ginny with a grin, when her friend had looked up with apparent bewilderment. Then she added in a significant tone, "An international portkey. It can be set to wherever you choose."
Hermione took a deep breath as she felt her face muscles begin to contract under the strain of her emotions. She ran a finger along the matted fur of the little brown bear, wondering whose idea the gift had been. She was inclined to think first of Ginny, but from the knowing smiles some of the others were giving her, she couldn't be sure. Shaking her head, she tried her best to smile. Her heart hurt thinking that anyone else could possibly be harbouring any of the same hopes that had consumed her the last four months.
"Thank you," she said softly. Then, with an effort to boost her tone and volume, she added, "This will come in handy very soon. I've made some plans."
"Oh?" asked Molly, the question coming across as casual as Fred or George wandering through a room on their way to the latest prank.
"Yes," said Hermione with a nod, finding more of the strength to speak every second. She could do this. "I've—I've decided to take an extended leave of absence from work and travel a bit. I think it's about time I see the world. Perhaps I'll start with Cairo. I've heard it's beautiful this time of year."
She didn't need to mention who'd given her that bit of information.
"But that's not part of the plan!" exclaimed Ginny with such gusto that her son started wailing at the sudden outburst. She clapped a hand over her mouth, obviously surprised at her own words. Harry took the baby from her and began the process of gently persuading him back to sleep, but Ginny couldn't seem to move. When she found herself again, all she could was mouth, Why?
Hermione just shook her head, and thankfully Harry jumped to her rescue, rather intentionally or not. Molly's mouth had set in a flat line, but she perked up at a request of help with the baby from her son-in-law. Soon she was cooing and rocking and had seemingly forgotten about Hermione's little announcement. Likewise, the rest of the family went back to their previous occupations with children, presents and cuddling. Only Ginny, as usual, seemed undeterred from the topic.
"Why?" she repeated quietly, once attention had turned from the two women.
"I've told you hundreds of times, Gin. The fairy tale version isn't going to work out this time."
"That's not what I'm talking about," said Ginny with an irritated little sigh. "Why didn't you tell me you were thinking about leaving?"
"Because I didn't want you to try and talk me out of it," Hermione admitted.
"So if you knew I would, why do you want to do this anyway?"
"I have to," answered Hermione. When she realized that answer wasn't going to be good enough, she set her teacup down on the end table and turned to look directly at her friend. She was grasping for the words to explain, when she remembered the conversation she'd had with Bill when he'd been leaving. If only he knew how applicable his words were for her as well now. "I love being here, with you and Harry and everyone else. I'm happy here. But another part of what makes me happy is a fantasy, a living dream full of what-ifs. And I can't go on wanting a life that was never meant to be."
Ginny's face screwed up in something akin to frustration. Then she just rolled her eyes. "You're crazy."
"What?" Hermione hadn't known what her friend's response would be to the announcement, but that certainly wasn't anywhere near what she had pictured.
"You aren't supposed to give up, remember?" said Ginny, and with a final headshake, she got up and went to retrieve her son from his grandmother. The woman would be content to mind the baby all morning, but the rest of the household would probably like that delay in the food even less than the previous night. Ginny settled on a chair closer to the kitchen.
Hermione's hands found the necklace automatically as they had so many other times when she'd been thinking of Bill. She was struck again by the unfairness of her situation. If Bill had been there, he would have been able to help her sort it out, but that was really the problem in a nutshell, wasn't it?
"I wish you were here," she whispered. It was mostly under her breath, was she was still thankful for the noise of the children and other conversation that had left her relatively secluded in the active room. She was so overwhelmed with the emotion of it all—Bill's absence, her decision to leave, Ginny's stubbornness—that she could barely hold her composure. Her voice caught in her throat as she choked out the last words. "I miss you. And I—I love you."
The sound was almost imperceptible in the ruckus, but there was no mistaking the movement in her hand. She glanced down and saw that the little box's lid had sprung open. Hermione let out a little shriek of surprise in spite of herself.
"Oh, you got it open!" Ginny exclaimed. She looked like she wanted to leap out of her chair and run to her friend, but the tiny baby in her arms kept her seated. "Well, what's in it, then?"
Ginny wasn't the only member of the family whose attention her cry had garnered, and Hermione would have been completely mortified at the amount of attention she'd been getting over the last few days if her hands hadn't been trembling so badly. She'd waited months to see what was inside the tiny box, and now that she had it open, she wasn't sure she had the courage to look, especially with so many eyes on her. What if all the build-up rendered the secondary gift disappointing? She really didn't want to shed foolish tears in front of the entire family if that were the case.
"What is it, dear?" asked Molly. She, too, looked like she wanted to approach, but from the smells emanating from the kitchen, she was staying in close proximity to her cooking, waiting for the perfect moment to remove the danish from the oven.
With every effort to still her shaking hands, Hermione lifted the tiny hinged lid like it was as delicate as Ginny and Harry's new son, and at first glance she could detect a slight glint of something shiny from the interior of the box. She tilted it so that midday sunlight could better reach it and felt her breath hitch in her throat. Quickly, she put her hand over the opening and just shook her head repeatedly, trying desperately to hold back the tears that threatened to fall. She hadn't cried since her birthday, and she had no intention of repeating the moment of despair for Christmas.
"Hermione?" asked Harry, concern in his voice.
Hermione could only shake her head again and again. She couldn't show them what was inside the box. She wasn't even sure what to make of it, so there was no telling what Bill's family would say. He'd moved away, all but cut off their contact, and now this? For two people who were destined to remain nothing but close friends, it was a cruel joke. But if it was something else…Hermione couldn't even let her mind accept the possibility. He'd left her; he didn't want anything more.
Before anyone else could speak up and question her, the front door swung open and Bill walked in, out of breath and looking an absolute wreck. His usually neat ponytail was askew, and his work robes hung crookedly on his frame, dusted lightly with dirt and Merlin knows what else he might have encountered in his daily work.
"Bill! I thought you had an emergency."
"Hi Mum. I did," he said, barely giving her or any of the rest of his family a glance. His eyes finally found and focused directly on Hermione. "Something more important came up."
Hermione felt her stomach twist violently, whether in anticipation or fear she wasn't sure. She sat there, locked in his gaze, but she couldn't will her body to either approach him or look away, so she just didn't move. There were no words in her vocabulary to express what she was thinking at that moment, so she chose silence. Thankfully, her tears were cooperating and stayed at the corners of her eyes.
"I cast one extra little charm to notify me…you figured it out?" Bill said quietly, taking a few slow steps toward her. His voice was strained, as if it was only through the most deliberate control that he was able to speak at all.
"It— It opened. I'm not sure what—"
"Is it true?"
"Is what true?" she asked, trying to ignore the confused stares of everyone else in the room.
He came a little closer, his movement tentative like he was testing for her reaction first. "What you said to make the locket open. Was it true, or did you just—"
"You left me alone, and now this?" Hermione said, stopping as soon as she felt the tightness from her cheeks spread to her throat.
Bill closed the last few feet between them and dropped to his knees in front of her so that they were on the same level. He wrapped his hand around hers, and she felt the pressure of the little box inside her fist under the firmness of his grip. "I only left because I never thought that you might…."
"Why the necklace?" she said, desperately trying to keep control of her emotions.
"I had to keep my hopes up somehow, didn't I?" he said, cocking a little smile at her. Any other time, in the course of their normal banter, she would have smacked him for his cheek, but now all she could focus on was the glistening of moisture in his eyes. "I didn't really think there was a chance that you loved me."
Behind her, she thought she heard a shocked gasp from Molly, followed by Ginny shushing her, but to Hermione it felt more like the fuzzy bits of an otherwise clear dream. Her voice was barely a whisper when she said, "It was true. Every word of it."
Before she could even move, Bill's arms were around her. He pressed his lips to her ear. "I only left because I didn't think I could ever have you."
She couldn't help it. Tears started pouring down her cheeks. "There wouldn't be anything left of me if it wasn't for you. I've been yours for a long time."
"So wait. That was the 'one thing'?" Ginny broke in, all reverence for the moment apparently lost. "That you loved him? And you weren't sure if you'd ever get anywhere with her?" She shook her head in disappointment. "People really don't put enough stock in the observation skills of the baby of the family. I could have told you that two years ago and saved you both the trouble."
Bill let out a little nervous chuckle, but he didn't answer his sister's exclamation. Instead, he pried the necklace out of Hermione's fingers. He reached inside and pulled out a sparkling diamond and emerald ring. All of the chatter that had started up in the background immediately ceased once again.
"I will be the happiest man in the world if you can prove my hopes weren't in vain. If I really can be this lucky twice," Bill said. "Marry me?"
"Only twice," she teased, and then kissed him with every ounce of passion that had been welling up inside her. When they finally pulled apart, they were both out of breath and trying to hastily wipe away tears.
"That was a yes, by the way," said Ginny with a short laugh.
Bill glanced over his shoulder, and Hermione took that half-second to take in all the beaming faces around her. Feeling her face grow hot, she buried it in his shoulder as he said, "I think I could at least figure that much out on my own. Thanks, Gin."
"I love you so much" Hermione whispered against his neck, feeling so deliriously happy that she couldn't stand to hold back the words any longer.
"I love you, too," Bill answered, and then she found herself caught up in another searing kiss.
She didn't know if Ginny was right; maybe they had loved one another for a long time, and that this had been inevitable. But she did know that she was certain about it now, and that Bill had been right after all. They would always have each other, because that one thing had been enough. She had a feeling there was only happiness in store for them.
Because few people were this lucky twice.
Author's Note:
Happy Christmas, everyone! A Christmas chapter just in time for the holiday itself. I thought that would be appropriate. I hope that ending was a satisfactory little present for my dear readers. I struggled with those last few paragraphs for a good half hour, trying to get just the right tone and flow. I hope it worked. Pretty sappy, but I didn't really intend much else for this piece. I'm a little sad to see this story end, but I'm glad that I got there. This certainly came out longer than I intended, but I'm glad it kept itself restricted to a lengthy one-shot. I'm not sure I could handle keeping up with another full-length story!
Speaking of those other stories...I PROMISE I'm working on the next chapter of Essence. I've been having a hard time with the next chapter (and yes, I realize it's completely evil to leave you hanging at the kiss--I'm sorry!! I swear it wasn't intentional!). I've put a lot of little plotlines out there, and I want to make sure I don't leave anything hanging. But I have managed to start working on it. The next chapter of NAE is also in the works. As much as I've enjoyed that one so far, it's really only gotten started. I can't wait to share the next few chapters once I've written them. Good fun and drama is in store. ;)
Who should I write next? I've always got to have a project in the wings, LOL. I've thought about doing a Harry/Hermione or a Remus/Hermione. Hell, I've even read some Sirius/Hermione lately, so if I can come up with a different twist on that one, I wouldn't be adverse to it. Any votes?