Skippy: Finished at last. Hopefully. Womble's being bullying me to get this done for weeks. (and attacking me with chocobos but he's weird like that)
As the large doors opened, Natasha strode in purposefully, ignoring the scorch marks dyeing the foreboding walls black. "Y...You've lost your bet" Not the most brilliant opening sentence, Natasha decided, but it summed up all that she wanted to say. She hadn't realised how much putting her feeling out there could possibly scare her. She NEVER stuttered.
Joshua looked confused, she'd hoped she wouldn't have to explain- every detail of that conversation was engraved in her mind, the look on his face- the sincerity in his eyes. "You said you couldn't afford to lose the bet. Well you lost. What do I win?"
Joshua stood there bewildered, "Natasha, what bet?"
"You said you'd make me happy. I'm miserable, Joshua, I really am. You failed." The tears were building up in her eyes. She couldn't cry. She couldn't show how much this prince meant to her. There was no option of marriage- he was a prince. She was a bishop- some over-dressed cleric.
Understanding reached the prince's face "I said... I said I'd have to work hard to achieve it. I... I didn't include a final date..." Joshua mentally sighed; this wasn't the first time his quick thinking had saved him- and Natasha.
"So what? You have some form of new Joshu-esque plan? Like running away from your responsibilities? Like... Like completely messing up my life in Grado because I can't stop thinking about you?" She won't cry. She won't. She was strong. She was always strong. She would understand. She would not cry.
That comment cut deep. Natasha did know him well. She had a way of invoking guilt into the most conscience free man. Caellach would have retreated if faced with a fired up Natasha. But the comment hurt. Pain from a cleric. How unusual.
Joshua snarled; he had to defend himself and his actions, "You think ruling Jehanna has been easy when all I can think about is how much better you'd be at rebuilding this country than I am? That I had to come back here where my mother died right before my eyes alone? And that I couldn't avenge her death because Ephraim and Eirika couldn't possibly allow me out on the battlefield fuelled only by revenge? I had to watch Cormag take revenge for the death of Sunstone while Duessel destroyed the man I should have killed. I arrived in time to defend my home from an invasion and they need me now. I barely have time to eat in between planning meetings and rebuilding- I haven't slept in a week. I had to send a quarter of my construction crew to Grado, not because they'd asked me to- but because I knew that would be what you would have wanted me to do. I have thought every day about what a mistake I made by not saying good-bye before leaving Rausten. I have been beating myself up about this for the last 3 months!" Joshua's voice got louder as he remembered everything- all the feelings. He'd had to leave. Ephraim and Innes insisted he left with an escort and the Jehannan mercenaries had decided to leave on such short notice- he'd only just had time to grab Audhulma and Excalibur to return them to their rightful places. He hadn't told anyone in the camp that he was leaving.
Natasha turned away, walking briskly to the door. If she spoke again she'd hurt him more. The hurt in his voice- the hard, defensive tone. The sword-master focusing on defence, pushed on to his back foot. She hurt him- how could she expect forgiveness. She marched in here presuming everything- what was she thinking? That he'd instantly remember every conversation they'd had? Sweep her off her feet? That they could run away to some far off place where it didn't matter that they were prince and cleric?
Why did she do this to herself? Because she was unlucky? Because...
"Natasha?" Joshua paled. This is what the coin was telling him. He didn't need to go to Grado- she would come here and he would say everything. But he didn't. He pushed her away. Blasted coins.
"Natasha, wait!"
Natasha stopped, her hand on the door, ready to leave, hoping Cormag might still be around to fly her back to Grado.
"Natasha? Please. Wait. I... I don't know what I'm saying. I didn't mean that. I know that there are so many reasons why we can't be together. I know that I want us to be together and I think I know that you want us to be together." Joshua was visibly shaking. The bold, daring mercenary prince- no, King of Jehanna scared out of his wits. "Natasha? Please. Stay."
Natasha sobbed. Joshua rose, walking towards her. "Stay." And he pulled her into his chest.
Lucky at last.
Skippy: done :D R&R