The sky was just beginning to darken over the northern Californian town of Sunnydale as Buffy Summers and her companion searched for their missing friend. Xander Harris had failed to show up to the meeting that night and her friends were concerned.

"Where could he be?" Buffy asked as she scanned the street ahead of them for signs of their friend.

Her friend willow just shrugged her shoulders, "I don't know I haven't seen Xander all day. He's still upset about Anya dumping him. I think he's kinda down."

Buffy nodded, "Yeah I guess that's it, but why would he miss an important Scooby meeting, that isn't at all like him."

"Buffy he's had a lot on his mind lately. I think he's feeling kinda left out.

He thinks that we don't want him around anymore."

Buffy sighed, "I just don't want him getting hurt or getting in the way. You know how Xander is. He jumps headfirst into danger. One of these days it's going to get him killed, or us killed.

"He probably just lost track of the time. I bet we'll find him at his apartment just lying around in his underwear."

Buffy saw her friend start to blush at this last statement, "Will I thought you were over Xander?'"

Her friend readily nodded, "Oh I am, I really am…" she paused as if in thought then added, "He still is totally hot though. I still have flashbacks of the infamous Speedo incident.

Buffy nodded and replied almost dreamily, "Yeah!" She stopped when she saw the quizzical look that her friend was directing her way," I mean I can see what you mean" she added a little too quickly"

Willow studied her for a minute suspiciously then seemingly satisfied with her friend's response she merely nodded and continued walking. Buffy heaved an inward sigh of relief. She didn't want anyone to know that her feelings for Xander were beginning to change, into what she didn't know. She was pretty sure that she didn't love him, at least yet, but she felt as if her feelings had gone beyond friendship. Not that this was the first time that that had happened. There were several instances in the past where she had felt her feeling toward Xander begin to deepen, but something would always come between them and she would temporarily forget those thoughts. Now though the feelings didn't go away as she had almost been hoping they would. It wasn't that she was repulsed by thoughts of him and her it was just that she was afraid of what it might do to their friendship. She didn't want to lose her Xander-shaped friend to a hasty romantic fling, but she was certain that things couldn't keep going the way they were. I was making things uncomfortable between them, and Riley was getting suspicious. She resolved to have a talk with Xander after they found him. Then hopefully they would get this mess sorted out.

"C'mon buff were almost to Xander's place" willow called out bringing buffy out of her thoughts. "Yeah" buffy replied to her friend and then added silently to her self' "And when we get there Mr. Harris me and you are gonna have a little talk.

Xander Harris was not having a good day. He was dateless, since his girlfriend had left him. Jobless, since he had been fired earlier in the day. And now he was with out a means of transportation, since his car had broken down on the way home from being fired and subsequently been rammed by and out of control semi. The damage was total, he'd barely been able to retrieve his duffel from the backseat. His insurance was declining to pay the majority of the cost because they said it was his negligence that had caused the accident in the first place. And to top it all off he had missed the meeting that Giles had called that was supposed to be important. And now he was stuck walking from the bus station to his apartment

They probably don't care that I'm absent anyway. I bet they're happy that I'm not there to get in the way he thought as he passed by one of Sunnydale's many cemeteries.

Over the past few months Xander had been feeling more and more left out of the gangs activities, As if they didn't even need him anymore. They always claimed that they were just trying to keep him safe, but what they didn't realize is that it was his decision to help. He understood the risks and he still chose to help, and they refused to honor his decision.

If they knew of even half the thing I have done for them…

He trailed off on that train of thought. He wasn't going to tell them what he had done. He didn't do those things for praise. He just wanted to be included, to be needed again.

As if they ever needed me in the first place he thought bitterly.

He sighed, "At least things can't get any worse" he said aloud to himself.

That was when he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him

OH GREAT. I had to go and open my big mouth

He fished a small cross and a stake that he kept with him just incase from his pocket and swung around to face his attacker.

The man in front of him was in his mid-twenties, finely dressed and was without a shadow of a doubt a vampire. When your friends with a slayer you tend to develop a nose for these things and that was indeed what gave it away. The man stunk of freshly turned earth and he had dust in his hair and on his clothes.

That would explain the fancy dress. He's just risen

Xander eyed the newly risen vampire for several seconds before he spoke in a sarcastic tone. "Shouldn't you be back at your plot. The suns coming up in a few hours and you wouldn't want to get caught without your sunscreen would you?."

The vampire merely glared at him for a few seconds before responding, "I'm going to kill you" it coldly stated.

"Ooh I'm sooo scared" Xander flatly replied. Though in truth he was a bit nervous, this was something about this vampire that didn't seem right. Xander wasn't the slayer so he couldn't sense anything. He just got this really weird feeling that this guy was more than he seemed. Still he put up a brave front.

"Alright ugly let's get this over with so I can be home in time for supper, actually make that breakfast, gee I have been out for awhile haven't I?"

"Prepare to die!" the vampire screamed as it lunged for him.

Xander immediately went on the defensive as He withdrew the cross from his pocket and thrust it into the vamp's face.

The creature recoiled in disgust and promptly knocked the cross from Xander's hand with a powerful swipe.

Xander attempted to strike the vampire with his stake but that too was knocked from his grasp.

A powerful blow to the chest took him off his feet and he felt several ribs snap break from the force of the attack.

The vampire kicked him in the back several times and Xander could swear he heard vertebrae cracking.

When Xander felt as though all the strength had left his body he felt a pair of powerful arms lift him to his feet and hold him in the air.

So this is how I'm gonna die huh figures he felt a sharp pain as a pair of fangs sank into his neck and began to drain him.

Just before he slipped into unconsciousness he thought he heard someone shouting his name.

They were more than halfway to Xander's apartment when Buffy's enhanced slayer senses picked up the sounds of a struggle coming from up ahead. Buffy sped up ahead of her friend and towards the corner where the sounds were originating. As she rounded the corner she saw what was making the noise. A vampire had a man by the neck and was draining him.

Buffy pulled a stake from her coat pocket and stepped from the shadows. "Let him go fangboy."

The vampire looked up from his meal and eyed the slayer for several moments, "Why not" it finally responded, "I have all the blood I need. Besides your friend hear is completely drained." As he said this he casually threw the body to the ground.

Buffy winced at the sound it made as the head impacted the concrete. "You're gonna pay for that buddy" she said as she got into a fighting stance.

The vampire smiled at her and then leaped forward swinging his fists.

Buffy quickly brought up her arms to deflect the blow and cried out as his left hand impacted her right, snapping her wrist. She brought her left hand up, palm out to slam into the vamps face driving it backwards. She tried to follow up with a kick to the stomach but the vampire was too fast and avoided the blow.

The creature backhanded her in the face, sending her flying. She landed in a pile of garbage and quickly got to her feet, ready to attack again.

She was about to leap at her opponent when she heard her friend cry out, "XANDER!" Why did she say that. What's going on over there. I hope it's not…

She quickly shook that thought from her mind to concentrate on the battle at hand.

She looked up to find her opponent staring behind her at her friend kneeling next to the body on the ground. A smile slowly spread across his face. "I told you he was a friend of yours. You think I don't know who hangs out with the slayer. It's a shame though, he put up a good fight. I was tempted to turn him, not my decision to make though."

As the meaning of the words sunk in, Buffy felt like she had been kicked in the gut. Her heart filled with a murderous rage and she leapt at the vampire, driving him into the ground. She began to furiously pummel the vampire until he was nothing more than a bloody pulp. Then, she lifted her stake above her head and drove it into the creature's chest with such force that it was imbedded in the concrete.

She rose to her feet on shaky legs and slowly made her way over to where her friend was hunched over the form that the vampire had said was her other friend.

She hoped with all her being that he had been wrong but she knew judging from the state of willow that that was not true.

As she neared the two forms she slowed down to almost a snails pace, trying to hold off the moment she knew was coming as long as possible.

As she finally reached her friend she knelt down and saw the sight that made her heart stop beating for a several seconds.

The body of AleXander LaVelle Harris lay unmoving on the cold ground, drenched in blood. Two tiny puncture marks were visible on his neck. His once warm chocolate brown eyes now dead stared up at the night sky.

Buffy didn't recall Willow leaving to call an ambulance. She didn't recall the ambulance taking away the body of her friend. She didn't even remember the ride home in Riley's car. All she could think about was seeing her best friend lying cold and dead on the ground.

I never told him was the thought that kept repeating in her mind I never told him how I felt. I never let him know how much I appreciated his help and support. I never let him know how much I needed him she kept beating herself with those thoughts And now he's dead. He died alone and scared. For all the times he's been there for us when we needed him, we weren't there when he needed us

Buffy felt the onslaught of tears once again and buried her face in her hands as she wept for her lost friend.

She couldn't be sure how long, but sometime later she heard the car door open and felt herself being enveloped by loving arms.

She slowly lifted her head and found herself looking into her mother's face, which was awash in a flurry of emotion. The most prevalent of these was concern.

"He's gone mom" Buffy choked out in a hoarse whisper. "Xander's gone"

She repeated.

"I know honey" her mother spoke softly to her daughter as she held her close and let her cry away the agony that was tearing at her heart. "I know"

The time between when a death occurred in Sunnydale and when the body was buried was incredibly short. Most of the time the police didn't even bother to perform an autopsy.

So it was a mere two days later that the friends of AleXander LaVelle Harris gathered at Sunnydale's largest cemetery to mourn the passing of their friend and watch as his body was recommitted to the earth.

The day was appropriately dreary and dark, as stormed clouds seemed to glare

Down at the gathering below. The wind whistled in between the buildings and the gravestones and made the scene almost eerie.

The small number of people who gathered at the burial site for the funeral were pathetic Buffy Summers thought.

A man who deserved a hero's ceremony, A man who had risked his life for others on countless occasions wasn't even to be honored with the presence of his parents.

The thought of Xander's parents made Buffy sick and filled her with rage at the same time. They hadn't even bothered to show up at their own sons funereal.

Not for the first time Buffy wondered how someone as wonderful as Xander could have come from an upbringing as painful as he had apparently had.

Her friend never thought of himself. He always went out of his way to cheer up those who were down, he always had a smile on his face, always a joke to tell. He never let anyone stay down in the dumps for long.

He had brought Buffy out of a deep depression more than once, and if it wasn't for him Buffy was sure she would have lost her sanity long ago.

But it wasn't just her that Xander had a strong affect on. It was the entire Scooby gang. No one had ever realized before just how important he was to them all. Buffy had once jokingly called him her "Key Guy" but now she knew just how true that statement had been. He was the Heart and Soul of their team and now that he was gone she didn't know if she could go on.

She listened as the priest finished the eulogy and the casket was slowly lowered into the ground.

At the sight of this finality the scope of what had happened finally hit her like a sword in the gut. She felt her knees start to buckle and she desperately wanted to lay on the ground and cry her heart out. But she didn't for the sake of her friend.

She steeled herself against the pain and slowly turned around to look at the expressions on the others faces.

Giles expression was decidedly un-British. The ex-watcher looked to be on the verge of tears. Buffy had rarely seen Giles cry but was not surprised by the sight. Xander had had an impact on all of their lives. Buffy had always felt that Giles viewed Xander as a son, since Xander had never really had a father. Despite the fact that Giles always looked exasperated around the young man, she knew that he cared for Xander deeply.

Cordelia, who had driven up with Wesley and Angel was standing near the back of the group with a damps tissue in her hand. Her eyes were red from crying. She looked like a nervous wreck. Despite what Xander had done to her she still cared about him.

Angel's expression was almost unreadable, but buffy could swear that she saw a hint of sadness behind the vampire's eyes. She knew that the two had never really gotten along but she suspected that they had a mutual respect for each other. It was strange. In the past when I looked at Angel my heart skipped a beat and I felt weak kneed, but now those feelings are almost completely gone. A part of her would always love Angel, but she had moved on with her life and now he was just a good friend. Angel caught her gaze and merely nodded as if he knew what she was thinking and accepted it.

Her gaze wandered over to Willow. She was surprised at how well the red headed Wiccan was taking it. She had been friend's with Xander for most of her life, and Buffy was sure that she was hurting more than anyone, except maybe herself. Willow was standing with a solemn expression, near the casket. She was not crying but she looked devastated. Buffy knew that Willow would need time as she would.

Buffy looked over at Riley and wasn't surprised to see that his eyes only held a hint of sadness. It made sense, Riley hadn't really known Xander that well and it was obvious that they never really got along. If Buffy didn't know any better she would have thought that Riley felt threatened by Xander. Buffy had always felt something for Xander but she had never really what it was. She had assumed that it was just friendship but now she wasn't so sure. However, Buffy still thought that Riley had no reason to feel threatened. She loved Riley and she wasn't planning on going anywhere just yet.

The service ended and the small group said their good-byes

Giles slowly approached the Grave of his friend and knelt down next to the marker.

"I never told you this Xander" the watcher spoke with a strained whisper "But I always respected and admired you greatly. You put your life on the line time and again for the sake of your friends and I cannot begin to tell you how grateful I am for the many times that you have saved Buffy's life." The ex-watchers voice began to crack as he spoke "Goodbye Xander. I hope you can find the peace that you so richly deserve.

Giles patted his hand on the tombstone, slowly rose to feet, and walked away from the grave of his friend.

Cordelia walked up to the grave and stared sadly for several seconds at the marker. "Goodbye Xander" she spoke in a whisper. She paused for a moment and then added, "I forgive you" this said she turned around and walked back to Angel. When she reached him and collapsed in her arms.

Angel held her while she cried her heart out. After a minute she composed herself and whispered to Angel, "Can we go home?" Angel stared at her and nodded.

He delivered her into the arms of Wesley before he turned to Buffy

"I have to go now Buffy" he said in a somber tone

Buffy nodded before enveloping him in a tender hug.

Angel returned the embrace, trying to give her some of his strength. After a moment he pulled back and kissed her softly on the forehead. "Goodbye" he whispered before releasing her and walking after the retreating forms of Wesley and Cordelia.

Willow walked slowly and uncertainly towards her friend's grave.

"Hey Xand" she squeaked out after several seconds. "It's me Willow"

She paused as if waiting for a response then continued "I, I just wanted to say how sorry I am. Not just for what happened, but because I realized that I haven't been there for you this past year" a tear slid down her cheek, "I was just so wrapped up in college and Tara that I didn't really think about you. I started to forget how much I needed you. I thought you would always be there" the emotions threatened to overwhelm her but she forced them down, "And now that you are not I don't know what I am going to do. I really miss you" Willow turned around and slowly walked over to Tara who enveloped her in a hug as the walked away.

Buffy waited until everyone else but Riley was gone then she turned to him, "Could you give us a few minutes?"

Riley slowly nodded and gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze before walking away.

Buffy approached Xander's grave and felt her resolve start to leave her. She shook off the desire to run away and walked up to her friend's marker.

She knelt down and slowly traced the outline of the marker. She felt tears run down her face as her finger ran over her friend's name. His tombstone was very simple. His parents had been extremely cheap. They had only paid for a simple tombstone. Buffy and the others had to chip in so their friend could have a proper epitaph. "Hi Xand" she spoke in a soft tone as she gazed at the tombstone. "It's me Buffy" she paused for a second to squash the outpour of sadness she felt building "I bet you think it's funny that I finally start to realize how I feel about you and you die" she gave out a soft laugh "I'm sorry that it took so long. I'm sorry that I didn't let myself see it earlier. And I'm sorry that you're gone" she felt a fresh stream of tears pour down her face. "I'm going to miss you" she spoke as she stood up. She kissed her hand and touched it to the cool stone. "By Xand" she said as she slowly walked away, leaving her friend to rest.