Story 2

Chapter 4: My Name is Yuya (but it might as well be Dogface)

"You look gorgeous."

She stared at her mother, wondering how someone else could be so happy and carry so much energy when she felt like all of the strings that held her together were being untangled, one by one, as she slowly but surely crumbling into nothing. Instead of replying, Yuya stared at her reflection. She didn't know the woman that was staring back at her. Her golden hair was tied up elegantly. Her kimono complemented her shape and features. Makeup colored her face.

She felt like a doll.

She was no longer Shiina Yuya. She had become an inanimate object that others dressed; something that had no mind of her own. She was told how to move, craftily maneuvered by her father—the grand puppeteer—on strings that she couldn't see, she was told what to say, how to react. The only thing that she wasn't told how to do was keep living, pretending that she could be someone that she wasn't.

"Yuya? My dear, you look pale," her mother fretted, placing a cool hand to her forehead. "Are you feeling ill?" Her mother looked her in the eye. Misery reflected back at her, a hideous abyss that made something catch in her throat. "Excited," she eventually managed to explain to herself. "You're merely excited. There's nothing to fret." Despite her own advice, her voice wobbled like a young child as they take their first steps. "I'll give you some time to yourself. I'm sure you have much to reflect over." She kissed Yuya's forehead and whispered, "Do whatever makes you happy."

Then she slipped out of Yuya's room.

Yuya, in turn, sank to her knees. She stared at the ground in front of her, her brilliant emerald eyes misting over. From the corner of her eye, something twitched outside. Her head snapped over to look out the window. She sniffed and wiped away her crystalline tears, only to have more slip out of her eyes.

"Hello?" she called. "I know someone's out there." Rather than grow angry again that someone may have been peeking in on her, she remained almost apathetic as she made her way to the window and peered out.

Once more, something twitched in the corner of her eyes. She looked over and closely examined where she thought she saw something, but nothing was suspicious. But she was so sure she had seen…

When she turned around, giving up on her possible peeping tom, she saw a single red rose lying on the table in her room. Her breath hitched in her throat. She knew the only person who could slip in and out of her room so easily…

Determination burned in her bones and bubbled in her blood. She walked over to her table with a purpose and pulled out a simple scroll and a brush. She dipped the bristles in ink and carefully wrote a short and simple note. She allowed it to dry as she untied the cords to her much-too-fancy kimono and pulled it off. As she took the weight of the heavy material off of her shoulders, something else—something intangible—left with it. She could breathe easier as she pulled on a lighter kimono, slipped her feet into her sandals. She tore her hair down, shaking all of the elegance from it with a toss of her head, and pulled it back, tying it with a ribbon. She scrubbed the strange, beautiful woman off of her face, peeling the thick layer off, revealing the exhilarating young girl that lay beneath the thick layers of paint.

Taking nothing with her except the clothes she was wearing, she rolled up the scroll and lightly padded out of her room.

Silently, she bid goodbye.

Benitora tried to insist that it needn't be a huge wedding. Yuya's father, being a stubborn one, would hear none of it.

"It's for the uniting of my daughter to the most powerful man in the country!" he exclaimed in explanation. "You can't expect me to invite anyone who is able to walk and tell those who can't to have someone who can carry them."

Benitora smiled at his attempt at a joke. "This is true, and I am thrilled to have so many witness such a beautiful ceremony, but—do you think Yuya would like—"

"Tokugawa-sama." A woman came up to him and bowed. "This is for you. May you and your bride have a long and prosperous marriage." She offered him a gift without straightening herself, choosing instead to stay in her humble position.

"Thank you," he murmured to her, taking the wrapped package.

She stood and walked away, eyes trained to the ground. When she was out of sight, Lord Shiina beamed. "Everybody is pleased with this wonderful match. Yuya should be so grateful for how many of her people are willing to bless your marriage."

Benitora hummed in agreement, but for some reason he found his eyes straying over to the Shiina estate, to Yuya's window, so that he could perhaps glimpse her face.

Her window was dark, and tightly shut.

It was then that Benitora knew something wasn't right.

Yuya's feet pounded on the ground, air harshly attacking her throat with her erratic breathing, as she ran. She was searching. Looking for the one person—the only person—who could bring her true happiness.

Stubborn determination kept her going, despite that her legs had long ago turned to rubber from exhaustion. Her heart beat with exhilaration, driving her on even though she knew there was a chance that all her attempts could be in vain. Sharp, acidic-hot tears prickled at the backs of her eyes, something deep inside of her reminding her not to forget her recent heartbreak, to remember that there was a chance she would be left heartbroken once more.

And yet, a voice deeper down inside of her whispered to keep going—keep going, keep going.

If she did not find what she was looking for, it would be swept away, far out of her reach, gone somewhere where she could not return, especially if she was shackled to a castle and riches, chained tightly to another man with chains. And even though she would have money enough to have these chains made from gold, encrusted with glimmering gems, she would be chained nonetheless.

Keep going, she told herself, her heart humming in her chest, fluttering faster than the gentle wings of a hummingbird blurred by flight.

Keep going, she chanted madly, heart ready to burst, legs ready to crumble beneath her.

Keep going—!

Benitora kneeled in silence, reflective. The gentle strum of the koto filtrated the air, adding a romantic touch to the atmosphere. Lord Shiina entered the small sanctuary, bowing, and sat across from Benitora. A small priest chanted softly as he set two cups and a bottle between the two men. To Benitora's left sat Madara, the closest thing he had to family. She had been with him through thick and thin, and he cherished their friendship. Next to Yuya's father was her mother, head inclined, eyes closed in meditation.

They were all, of course, waiting for the bride to join them.

Beyond the small wooden temple, the town loomed, waiting for the young couple—Yuya and Benitora—to be joined by the binding power of marriage. They stood far enough from the hut that nothing could be heard—privacy was key in marriages—but close enough that they would be able to congratulate the two when they left after the ceremony had come to a close.

It was then, of course, that the throng saw a small girl, no older than fourteen, scurry across the courtyard, slamming open the sliding door, leaning against it for support as she gained her breath. Curious, the crowd exchanged glances, murmuring.

Inside, the young woman's chest heaved as struggled to speak. "Shii—Shiina-sama—s- she—"

"Where is my daughter?" Lord Shiina cut her off abruptly, his tone brusque.

"She's trying to tell us, dear," Lady Shiina soothed gently, taking his hand.

The young servant bowed suddenly, deciding to report the news from the humble position. "She is gone, my Lord," she finally managed. "We have looked everywhere for her, but she is no where to be found. We did, however, find the beautiful kimono Shiina-sama so kindly bought for her on the floor in her room—"

"Enough!" Yuya's father cut her off harshly. "That will do." He stood, anger crackling in his eyes. "She has run away." His dark, venomous eyes settled on his wife, as though she were fully to blame. "She has run away and shamed the family!" he snarled, storming out, intending to hunt her down and drag her back by force.

Lady Shiina's eyes immediately fell to the ground, a tumult of emotions crashing around behind her beautiful, bright eyes.

Next to Benitora—who was speechless from shock—Madara's hand sought out her dear friend's, the man she cared most for, entwined her fingers with his, watched with waves of agony as his heart cracked.

When she tripped over a stone and tumbled onto her face most ungraciously, Yuya knew that she had not managed to outrun irony. She had tripped over the same rock which had tripped her up when her emotional roller coaster had begun days ago, back to the day Kyo had come back from his travels.

Breathing heavily, Yuya pushed herself up onto her hands and knees. She was shaking so badly with exertion that she was almost vibrating.

"You're a sight for sore eyes."

Her breath caught in her throat and she dared not wish, not even pray, not even hope that he would be there. She didn't think she'd be able to stand her disappointment.

But she was not disappointed. He stood there, casually leaning against the trunk of a tree, the shade falling over him, blanketing him in darkness.

Suddenly, Yuya wasn't so tired anymore.

"Kyo," she breathed, her very soul entwined with the word. With more grace than she had ever possessed, she was instantly on her feet, instantly dashing to him, arms outspread in front of her, a silent plea for him to sew himself back into the proper place in her heart after he had ripped himself out so harshly only days before.

She collided into him, melting into him, trying to mold herself into him so that they would be the same being, never being capable of being separated ever again. She had lost him before to his long journey away from her as he made his name as a samurai. She was not going to lose him again. Never, she assured herself as she continued to try and fit the curves and contours of their bodies together like puzzle pieces.

His arms had settled at his sides. Almost hesitantly, he lifted one and used an index finger to lift her face so that he could look her in the eye. Her brilliant emerald orbs were brimmed with tears, dammed back only by sheer determination not to cry.

Kyo's blood-red eyes flicked back in the direction of Tokugawa Benitora, of her woeful mother, her enraged father, her abandoned room with its damning elegance. "Is this what you want?"

Is this what you want? He was asking her if she was willing to sacrifice what he had tried to hard to give her when he had refused her love—a better husband, wealth, a gentle husband who would cherish her in gentle ways that Kyo didn't know how to, in ways that he had no experience in.

His eyes flickered back down to meet hers and the dam completely shattered, tears slipping down her cheeks as she nodded vigorously, words failing her.

Kyo, in response, dipped his head down to plant a chaste kiss on the first tear which had made its way over the rise of her cheek. Yuya's eyes fluttered and she moved toward the contact, her heart flurrying back into its hummingbird dance, despite the fact that she had already shed her exhaustion.

When, she wondered idly, did he become my reason to live?

Warm hands gently looped around her as he pulled her closer, his forehead resting on the golden hair of the crown of her head. Yuya tilted her head up, kissed his strong jaw, trailed feather-soft kisses to his cheek, a reflected image of when he had caught her first tear.

Just like that, he unwove them, the separation almost feeling like they were being ripped apart.

"You're sure this is what you want, Dogface?" Kyo asked again, tacking on the endearment with a gentle smirk.

"My name is Shiina Yuya," she retaliated out of habit, despite the fact that her heart wasn't in the retort.

"Dogface," Kyo repeated, amusement crackling in his eyes.

Yuya rolled her eyes, smiling, shaking her head. "Only you," she murmured, "may call me Dogface. But only on special occasions."

"Is this not a special occasion?"

In response, Yuya took his hand in hers, intertwining their fingers. "It is," she breathed.

And so, a reputable samurai and a young woman dressed in clothes that could match a peasant or a servant left their hometown, ending the first chapter of their lives.

Silently, they bid farewell.

It was Benitora who found the letter. It was rolled up, carefully tucked under the blanket of Yuya's bedding. He had been going through what his bride had left behind, wondering if she had thought of him as she fled the life that her father had meticulously built for her. After he read it, he sighed, eyes closing.

"What's wrong?"

He turned to Madara. Madara, who had not left his side for a single second since he had been so badly wounded; it was Madara who would heal him, seal the cracks of his heart.

"Nothing," he answered, rolling the scroll up.

Her eyes flicked to the paper. "What's that?"

"Nothin' much," he murmured, tucking it back where he found it.

"Ah, I see," she replied, though she did not.

"Well, I guess we better head home, eh?"

Madara smiled. "That would be good."

With that, they left.

Silently, he bid farewell.

I had to let go. And so I bid you a silent farewell. I know you will remain angry at me, and this is okay. Because I have him. Because I will be with him. Because we will have each other. It's all I want. I have no words that can console the range of your emotions. And so, I will go and search for them. With him.

Shiina Yuya.

The end.

I know, I know, it's so full of fluff and lovey-dovey ooey-gooey sap that it's sickening. Really, it is. I'm not a believer in happy endings, but, hey, what's the harm in writing one every now and then? Fluff fills pillows. Without pillows, Sayo would wake up cranky. No one wants a cranky Sayo. D:

As a side note, I don't know when the next short story will be published as I don't know what the next story is. As such, I'm going to encourage you to drop me some plot bunnies and ideas. I'm not guaranteeing that yours will be the one I use, but it certainly will get the bunnies hoppin' in my head. But even then, I still can't tell you when the next update will be. At the moment, I'm shifting my main focus to Fallen for You. So drop by and check out that story?

(And once more, thanks to the lovely Jennipher-sama for editing. Her input is mucho helpful.)

As always, review, my dears.

Lotsa lub,

Sayo