"Lady Hinata? Breakfast is served, and happy Birthday, M'lady."
"I was taken out into the forest by a strange man who did Lord knows what to me last night. 'Happy Birthday', indeed. Go away you lowly piece of trash, I'll eat what I want when I'm good and ready!" she covered her mouth in surprise. Had she really said those things? She was feeling a little lightheaded this morning. What HAD that man done to her? The servant just walked away with a sigh. He'd better tell Lord Hiashi, the clan leader will be thrilled that Hinata has started to act like a traditional Hyuga at last.
Hinata looked around the room. That man-Deadpool-had said that he'd leave her something for her Birthday, and she was very curious as to what it might be. Something in the back of her mind told her that he wasn't lying, and sure enough, under her bed where she kept her pet mask, was a new box, this one much larger and made of painted-white metal instead of cheap cardboard. She pulled it out, and found a letter sealed with Deadpool's icon. She opened it and read:
Dear Dead-Hime,
My name's Wade Wilson, the biggest asshole to ever ass a hole. You're girly-haired father hired me to make you into the baddest thing with curves in your village, what's name I don't care enough to remember. Now, everything's going to be confusing at first, but trust me, it only gets worse. You just learn to get used to it, or you don't. Simple as that. I'm really no good at shit like this.
You might be wondering what's going to happen to you and what I've done to you. Well guess what? I'm not telling you, but I will tell you this, you might think you're going crazy at first. You're not. I've been watching you for a couple of months, and I think you've been crazy for a long time. Only difference with then and now is that now, you'll have fun with it. Maybe. Also, I'll give you some advice though: Don't angst. Complain if you must, but never angst, and try not to listen to the voices too much.
In the fancy box I left you, which your darling dad had nothing to do with, is a few goodies that I think you'll like. A couple of sets of Your very own costume! For your Birthday. Ain't I a regular Sandy Claus? Trust me, you'll go through them like tissue paper.
Peace out,
Deadpool
She knew she should hate him, but she couldn't bring herself to care. She tried on one of the costumes he left her, noting that it fit perfectly. A little too perfectly for her tastes, but when she put on the mask, her modesty seemed to disappear. It was like Deadpool's costume, but with different colors. Instead of black, white, and instead of red, lavender. Dead-Hime, wasn't that how Deadpool addressed her? She kinda liked it.
She smiled a wicked smile. Those voices that Deadpool spoke of had given her an idea...
"Having a very merry Un-Birthday, Alice?" Dead-Hime was sitting at a small table she had put in her room. Besides Deadpool's presents, she was wearing a large purple top hat that had a green band with a playing card stuck in it. There were two other people sitting at the table. One was a stuffed rabbit, and the other was an academy student with blond hair that wore an orange jumpsuit.
Except for today, when he wore a sky blue dress, a long whig that was as blond as his normal hair, and was tied to a chair with his mouth gagged. Most people agree that this is a step up from the jumpsuit.
Naruto made a muffled noise that insinuated that he did not like this situation.
"Aww, don't tell me that you've been eating those strange mushrooms again? You know what they do to you," she giggled,"Oh, Naruto-kun, you should be more grateful. Do you know how hard it is to find a dress like that in the Leaf? I think I own the only one. I'm even letting you keep it!"
Naruto just gave her a death-glare. He might as well have given it to a brick wall.
The stuffed rabbit remained tactfully silent.
Hinata lifted her mask to take a dainty sip from her tea cup,"Mr. Rabbit? What's wrong? You haven't said a word all evening, and you haven't even touched your tea! Come to think of it, neither have you, Alice. That's OK, I can see that you're tied up."
She took another sip of tea as Naruto let out a deep groan, and then she dropped her teacup, shattering it, and clapped her hands together in excitement, "I know what will cheer you both up! We'll play a game. How about we play Hang the Cross Dressing Boy on a Flagpole?"
Naruto struggled fiercely against his bonds, indicating that he did in fact NOT like this game.
"Really? You do? Why, Naruto-kun, we have so much in common! I wonder what our children will look like?"
Naruto cried as she slung him over her shoulders and took him out of the room, leaving the stuffed bunny to contemplate the meaning of life by his lonesome.
Deadpool watched all of this from Hinata's window. He felt very proud of himself. He wiped away an imaginary tear.
"They grow up so fast. It seems like only yesterday that I pumped her full of questionable substances and electricity," he scratched his chin in mock thought,"Y'know, come to think of it, it WAS yesterday. Funny thing, life..."
And then he was off, to get some distance between him and the men that Hiashi would send to get him when he finally realizes what Deadpool did.
This may be my best work yet. I get enough response, and I may write a sequel.