Title: Fixing A Hole
Warnings: This is incredibly AU, and I chose to ignore any plot which I wasn't fond of... so please be aware. Also, this is SLASH if you hadn't noticed yet, so if that's not your cup of tea, I suggest you find another tea shop.
Rating: M
Pairing: Severus Snape / Harry Potter
Disclaimer: I do not own any recognizable HP character. I'm just playing with them :) Thanks.
Summary: Severus is shocked to learn of the unexpected result of a sexual experiment he had once had in America. And to make matters worse, a man he never thought he'd hear from again decides to reappear with sudden interest, an event that becomes very beneficial in the form of a hoax.
Chapter 1
"A daughter Severus? Really now, how careless of you," smirked the headmaster from behind his desk, casting a sideways glance at the distraught man who was fuming frustration and worry at the other end of the room.
"Despite how much pleasure you are likely to take in believing me to be an international Casanova Headmaster, I assure you this is just as much a surprise to me." Severus paused and leaned his head against the large upholstered chair upon which he sat. This particular chair was placed beside the door of the headmaster's office and held a familiarity to the man who often found reassurance and guidance from atop its warm regal fabrics. He never chose to sit in the stiff formal chairs which were placed at the opposite side of the headmaster's desk; they made him feel interrogated.
"Yes, and I'm very glad that it's news to you," Dumbledore chuckled, "And I'm also sure there is a wonderfully embarrassing story behind it as well." Setting aside the letter written in the scratchy handwriting of a young American, Dumbledore peered over his spectacles, his expression playful, "and since you don't seem too embarrassed my boy, would you entertain an old man with the tale?"
Severus crossed his legs and picked at a thread protruding from the thick scarlet embroidery. "No," he answered plainly.
"Really Severus, that is most unkind. I have nothing to do now that Voldemort isn't around to occupy me, and a story would make my day."
"It's none of your business first of all, and second of all it's not that interesting. I'm sure you would be disappointed."
"Now I disagree. I'm sure any story where you impregnate an American is bound to be something I would cherish for another decade at least!" he said cheerfully, his old face alight with the excitement of a young girl longing to hear the gossip of a foe.
With a smirk and a sigh, Snape stood up and retrieved the letter that had become the subject of his every waking thought since it had arrived that morning. It had been forwarded by owl from his summer home in Winchelsea, a small seaside town in East Sussex. It was a small secluded house near a stream, a quiet place which he looked forward to every year. Despite his infamous reputation, he found the dungeons dreary and cold, and found that his rooms smelt of mold on too many occasions. He assumed that the young woman, in question, had found him listed in the town directory, the only place his name could possibly be located by a muggle, which also meant, that she must have looked very hard.
"Why don't you tell me how to get out of this mess, and then I'll tell you the story you are so desperate to hear." Snape replied dryly.
"Now Severus, I will try my very best to help you properly attend to this young woman. However, dealing with her, as you say, is a terrible way to look at it, you must see that." Dumbledore's features were no longer youthful and amused when Snape looked up from the letter he had been sifting over once again as he stood over the wide cherry wood desk. Now the old man was stern and fatherly, and Severus had the distinct feeling he was about to be reprimanded.
"A child should never be looked upon as a burden, no matter when or how they may enter one's life so please do not think you can brush her aside. Remember Severus, now that this woman has revealed herself to you, you have two options. You can be a true villain and try to ignore her, and retreat back into the life you have become accustomed to. Or, you can do the honorable thing, and accept her as part of your life, because as sure as I'm standing here, she will undoubtedly be part of your thoughts for the rest of your life, whether you ignore her or not. Children are the greatest thing that can happen to a man Severus."
Severus felt as if he had just been knocked over. "How touching," he replied sarcastically, turning before his face betrayed the sudden onslaught of fear he was feeling. It was true, he had spent the entire day since receiving the letter with thoughts of how to cordially meet her, maybe give her some money, and then leave to return to the simpler life which he had been enjoying since Voldemort's death. "How can I possibly invite a muggle into my life Headmaster, the thought is inconceivable."
"No it's not Severus, it's complicated, but not impossible, and I'm sure you'll think of a way, you are very good at these kinds of things."
"I hope you're not suggesting I tell her." Severus exclaimed aghast.
"No of course not, that would terrify the girl." Dumbledore said plainly, and sat back in his chair. "No, always agreed that muggles are not usually capable of handling the reality of our world. I suggest you always try and keep that from her, for her sake, I doubt she wants to believe her long lost father is out of his senses."
"We wouldn't want to add anything else to the long list of imperfections and abnormalities that will surely be a great disappointment to her and her girlish fantasies of a father figure," Severus said deeply and quietly as he turned to return to the chair by the door which had become cold during his brief absence, and made him suddenly yearn for the familiarity and solitude of his rooms in the dungeons.
Dumbledore knew now, without a doubt that his speech had been unnecessary, Severus would have decided to do the right thing on his own, with time. He could see the worry in his eyes as he contemplated all the things he thought he was lacking in the way of the picturesque father that every men thinks a child desires. But over his many years, Dumbledore had learned that in the end, children cherish a father who is caring, and honest and real. And Dumbledore found that he respected and loved Severus for those very things. And there was no need for him to be worried, but he also knew there was not much he could say to ease those worries from his mind.
"Well, I take it you plan to visit her in America then?" Dumbledore asked.
"Yes, I will write and tell her today."
"Good. It shows her that you are deeply concerned and interested if you offer to travel to her. When do you plan to leave?"
"As soon as possible, a week maybe, I'll ask her when is best in the letter, but I'd really rather not have to sit on this for too much longer. The whole issue is giving me a terrible headache."
"Good. Very good, I agree completely. Just be sure to let me know when the dates are all settled so that I can think of something to delight your potions classes with while you're gone." He said with a smirk.
"Oh fuck, my classes," Severus exclaimed softly, his headache suddenly intensified, causing him to press his fingers mindlessly into his temples. "I completely forgot. No I can't ask that of you. I'll just have to ask her if I could come briefly during Christmas holiday."
"Don't be silly Severus, I would love to have something to do, I'm so bored now that there's nothing threatening my life."
Severus smiled; his old friend could always bring light into even his worst of days.
"In fact, I expel you for one month starting a week before you decide to leave for this visit Severus, and that is nonnegotiable. I suggest you spend a week or two with your daughter, and spend the rest of this time I'm giving you to take a breather in Sussex, you need the time to clear your head and sort your affairs out."
Seeing an opportunity to leave without further discussion, Severus nodded to the headmaster, "That's exceedingly kind of you headmaster. I greatly appreciate it." Smiling sincerely he stood, feeling his spine pop from the building tension, "I'll leave you to your evening then," and with that, he turned to open the door.
"Severus?" Dumbledore called inquiringly.
"Yes Headmaster?"
"I suppose I can expect a visit from you tomorrow evening?"
"Tomorrow evening?"
"Of course my boy, that is when you will be so eager to tell me how this all happened. I still eagerly await an explanation."
Severus was deep in thought three days later as he sat over another first year paper, which had once again taken far too much of his time to read and fail, when into the silence came a single quiet knock which echoed through his long classroom.
"Enter" he called, looking up and desperately hoping the letter had finally arrived. It infuriated him how long muggle mail took to travel, but of course there wasn't much he could do about it. However instead of seeing the squeamish house elf who worked in the owlery, and had been ordered to bring him any letters immediately, he found Dumbledore's willowy and cheerful figure sliding towards him.
"Severus, how are you doing today?" he asked when he reached the old wooden platform which Severus's desk sat upon.
"Just fine thank you, but I am quite busy just now Headmaster."
"Well that's very unfortunate because I know how much you have been waiting for this," he said, holding up a small lavender envelope.
Looking up Severus spotted the silly little letter which had been plaguing his every waking thought. He leaped up and snatched the envelope from the Headmaster's hand. "I thought I'd ordered that to be sent to me directly as soon as it arrived?"
"Oh now Severus, don't go and torture the poor house elves over this, I merely happened upon little Mimsy who was on her way with it as I was arriving to ask you how you were feeling."
Picking a pen off his desk and pressing it between the folds of the envelope Severus began ripping the top fold open, "My headache is much better thank you headmaster
"What was that?"
Severus looked up with annoyance as he pulled out the thin tri folded paper, "My headache, you came to ask me about my headache?"
"Oh yes, of course, well that's very good to hear. Well then, I suppose I leave you to it, you just tell when you plan to leave for Sussex."
Already distracted by the prospect of reading the letter, Severus answered with a quick nod and a "sure," hardly noticing Dumbledore as he turned to go.
The Headmaster chuckled as he thought about what a great father his young friend would make, if a mere letter had him this nervous.
Dear Mr. Snape,
Thank you so much for replying quickly, you have absolutely no idea how much of a relief it was. You can't imagine how long I've been dreading sending that letter, I had convinced myself you would never respond
Well, I have to say I'm completely shocked by your willingness to come visit so soon, I know how hard that must be for you and your schedule, and although I don't know much about your situation, please apologize to your family for this news, I'm sure it must be a real shock. And also know ahead of time that I don't intend to be a nuisance in any way at all, the last thing I would want to do is cause problems for you.
Here, Snape noticed with a mixture of amusement and nausea was a little smiling face drawn with a sloppy half circle and two little circles for eyes.
Anyway, please feel free to come anytime at all, just tell me what day and time and I'll pick you up at the airport, my job allows me a lot of lenience so I won't have any problems there. And if you want my phone number, it's 415-823-5723.
Talk to you soon.
Love, Willow Morgan.
Severus set the letter down upon his desk and took a deep breath. She expects him to have a family, he thought with sudden fear. Of course she expects him to have a family, or at least some sort of relational ties, he was nearly forty-five years old and he had nothing but himself to show. What would she think of him? A single, old, greasy, long nosed oddity.
Folding the letter, he opened his top desk drawer and slipped the letter in beside the previous lavender envelope which had made him aware of the girl's existence with a few simple scratchy words. Pulling out a piece of parchment Severus scribbled a brief and polite response to the worries she had addressed in the letter and gave her the time and date of the plane he had asked Dumbledore to book him in anticipation that she would agree to his terms. Yesterday he had been too nervous to wait any longer and resigned to get a muggle plane ticket anyway. He could afford to cancel the flight if she declined the date, but he had a feeling she wouldn't deny him this. Severus folded the letter and placed it into one of the few envelopes he kept with him and addressed it slowly as to be sure he didn't miss any details, then slipped it into his pocket to bring to the owlery after his meeting with Dumbledore.
Sighing, Severus stood and tried to wipe any lingering expression of self doubt from his face before heading for the door, he would have to tell Dumbledore he was leaving now if he wanted to floo to Sussex that night as he was planning. He had been greatly looking forward to spending the six days before his departure in the little home which was always so quiet and simple, and brought him such comfort and peace when he was under stress such as this.
Three days later, having settled into his home in Sussex, Severus did not feel any more relaxed. In fact, Severus was growing more and more anxious every second. He was almost to the point where he was thinking of calling the whole meeting off. He simply couldn't imagine having to encounter his daughter while having to confess to not having any kind of family.
Of course the honest way to handle this would be to come right out and tell her that he was a lonely gay recluse whose afraid of letting anyone get close to him romantically. But that seemed impossible to him. In fact, he couldn't think of any easy way out of this. Telling her the truth was too difficult. Lying was out of the question because she was bound to find out the truth someday anyway. So, the best solution was obviously to not tell her anything.
A knock interrupted his thoughts.
And another.
Normally such a thing would not surprise him in the least, but Severus had never had a single visitor here, ever.
Standing up he tied the long brown robe over his bare chest and black dress pants then walked to the door. He looked out through the long thin window that lined the door frame, but it was too dark to see anything but blurry lights in the distance. Severus opened the door, and with the blast of cold that entered the room he felt as if the air had been sucked from his lungs. In front of him stood the last person he'd ever expected to see at that moment, or ever again for that matter.
"Hey. Can I come in, it's colder than fuck out here."
P.S. Reviews make me happy!