A/N: Okay, I'm sort of resurrecting the trend of retitling musicals, as inspired by EmaCarew1's Jekyll and Hyde fic "The Score of J&H Retitled". If this really sucks, don't get too mad at me because I wrote it 1 am when I should have been getting some sleep for once.

Disclaimer: Does anyone on this site really own anything?

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Old!Raoul Sings About the Creeptastic Music Box (Prologue)

Let's See How Loudly We Can Play (Overture)

Look! Piangi is Incapable of Staying on an Elephant! (Hannibal)

I Will Now Sing a Song That Bares No Resemblance to the Opera We Were Rehearsing Earlier (Think of Me)

Christine Thinks She is Being Visited By Angels (Angel of Music)

Christine, Follow the Disembodied Voice Coming From Your Mirror and Don't Freak Out like a Sensible Person When You See a Creepy Masked Man Waiting For You (The Mirror)

Trips Though Underground Labyrinths Are Always More Fun When You Sing About Them (Phantom of the Opera)

I Will Now Seduce You By Singing a Romantic Song (Music of the Night)

Oh Noes! The Phantom's Mask Was For More Than Decoration and Now He's Really Pissed At Me! (I Remember/Stranger Than You Dreamt It)

I Am Just Setting Myself Up to be Killed (Magical Lasso)

No One in the Opera House Can Read Without Singing the Words Out Loud (Notes)

Quick! Everybody Suck Up to the Temperamental Diva Even Though She Can't Really Sing Very Well! (Prima Donna)

Here's Proof Our Temperamental Diva Can't Sing. Oh, and Some Other Guy Gets Hung (Il Muto)

It's Just So Easy to Sing and Run Away To the Roof At the Same Time (Why Have You Brought Me Here/Raoul, I've Been There)

Guess What? We're In Love! (All I Ask of You)

Watch Me Angst and Demonstrate My MAD Chandelier-Dropping Skillz (All I Ask of You Reprise)

Hooray! The Phantom's Left Us Alone For the Past 6 Months So We're Throwing A Ball in Celebration (Masquerade)

I'm Baaaack!! Now Put on My Opera (Why So Silent)

We Still Can't Read Without Singing, Raoul Has a Plan, and Christine's a Wimp (Notes 2/Twisted Every Way)

I Miss My Daddy! (Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again)

Let's Reprise Angel of Music Without Making it an Actual Reprise (Wandering Child)

I'm Taunting Your Boyfriend! Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah! (Bravo, Monsieur)

A Song Full of Not-So-Subtle Sexual Metaphors and Innuendos (The Point of No Return)

I Sound Like A Whiny Emo Kid and I'm UGLY! (Down Once More)

Hey, Let's Sing a Confusing Trio Song About Who Gets the Girl then I'll Let Her Go Because I've Got Mental Problems and/or Had a Momentary Lapse of Conscience. I Shall Then Get All Depressed and Vanish Behind a Chair. (Final Lair)