Disclaimer: Neither Naruto nor anything involving the Naruto universe belong to me. This is a fanfiction and not a story written for profit.

Warnings: This story contains yaoi (boyxboy relationships) and if you are offended by this type of material, then you should be reading something else instead.

AN: This takes place around the 322nd chapter of the Manga series. I am trying to stay as loyal to the plot line as possible (very minor deviation), but am going off on a what-if tangent that I hope is at least plausible.

This posting on is an edited version of the original story, bringing the rating down from the original NC-17. If you would like to read the original, it is archived at Adult under the penname Zrina. Link can be found in my profile.

Naruto was slowly losing control. With each drop of sweat that slid down his skin, with each pulse of chakra that shifted and moved between his hands, he could feel the Kyuubi pushing at him. He gritted his teeth and tried to ignore the vast reservoir of power that swirled like some great leviathan beneath his skin, ready to break the surface and possess him at the slightest waver in his resolve. He knew that he had to keep his emotions in check, knew that he couldn't give in to the anger and frustration that was eating at him.

The demon fox was always just beneath the surface these days. A good part of the two and half years he was with Jiraiya was spent trying to call up and control the demon chakra at will. Apparently in doing so the demon itself was more awake and aware.

The first time he had seen it manifest partially outside of its cage he had almost pissed himself, visions of mass property destruction and half-devoured villagers dancing in his head. However, Jiraiya had assured him that the seal containing the youkai was intact. He also was unnerved by how easy it was for him to slip into his own mind to appear in front of the demon. It worried him even more that it wasn't always necessarily voluntarily or at the least consciously.

Of course at first Jiraiya had told him that the Kyuubi was appearing more frequently because of his emotional state. He said it wasn't healthy to be obsessing over his former teammate and that he should let things go and concentrate more on his own future and happiness. What Jiraiya didn't understand is that without that bastard he had no future and only fleeting happiness.

"God damn it!" he yelled as the blue spinning orb became unstable with the added wind chakra, causing it to explode outward violently. His shadow clones were thrown as he was, but they had the benefit of "poofing" into smoke before they impacted the ground, unlike him. He waited a brief moment while the trees in his vision halved their numbers then, ignoring his protesting body, he slowly stood back up to try again.

"Concentrate," he scolded himself. He brought his index and middle fingers together and formed a cross with his other hand to make his clones and again they gathered around him to start forming the ball of swirling chakra, which was his Rasengan jutsu. Adding wind, he split the flows to convert the nature of the Rasengan.

His thoughts however were as chaotic as the wind he tried to manipulate.

Anyone who knew Naruto knew of his dream to become Hokage. At first the dream had originated in the mind of a child as a desire for acknowledgement and attention. Then it morphed in his genin years into a desire to protect the people that were precious to him, those few that didn't look upon him with distrust, contempt or hate. It had then become something more encompassing through his travels with Jiraiya. It had become a drive to protect others that could not protect themselves. It had, in essence, become his Way of the Ninja.

It followed then, that in his mind he was not worthy of his dream, could not imagine fulfilling his ultimate goal, if he could not even save his most precious person from his own self-destructive course.

It wasn't that Naruto didn't understand or couldn't sympathize with his desire for revenge. After all, someone that would kill off his entire extended family needed to pay for his crimes, needed to pay for the lives he had taken. However, Naurto couldn't understand the extreme measures that the bastard went to for his quest for vengeance. How in the hell could he justify allowing the snake Sannin to take over his body and then trusting him to go kill off his older brother? Now Naruto realized that he wasn't the brightest crayon in the box, but what in the world made the supposed genius really believe that once he handed his body over to Orochimaru, that said snake bastard would then risk said body in a fight with one of the most notorious S-class criminals? In Naruto's opinion, Orochimaru was about to pull one of the biggest pranks of a lifetime on the stubborn idiot.

As Naruto tried to concentrate past the pain in his chest, he noticed that his fingers were now sporting sharpened claws and his eyesight had become unusually acute. He consciously took deeper, slower breaths in order to constrain his emotions.

He clenched his fanged jaws together tightly. That fucking snake was NOT going to take his best friend away from him. He would do everything in his power to bring Sasuke both back to Konoha and to his senses.

"Fuck!" he yelled out in pain as his anger once again opened the floodgates to the kitsune's power. Instantly, his vision tinted red as the demonic aura surrounded his body. His skin split open as chakra began to boil through his veins only to instantly heal over. His cognizance started to fade under the tidal wave of raw force.

"Tenzou!" Kakashi yelled out in warning as the four-tailed fox form erupted around Naruto.

"I know! I know!" the dark-haired ninja bit out. He slammed his marked palm into the ground and the totems around them roared to life. They surged towards Naruto, mouths open to seemingly feast on the red aura surrounding the yellow-haired boy. The maelstrom of chakra flowing through his body faltered under the onslaught then slowly ebbed away leaving the collapsed form on the youth on the ground.

The silver-haired jounin checked Naruto over to make sure he was unharmed. "He's exhausted. Looks like we are taking a break for now." He carefully picked up the unconscious young man and carried him back to their small camp site. Once there, Kakashi carefully laid Naruto down on his blankets.

Yamato tried not to look too relieved in regards to the unexpected reprieve. "It still amazes me how much chakra he has even without the Kyuubi's." He wearily followed Kakashi and practically plopped down beside the genin.

Kakashi's one visible eye curved slightly in a small smile. "He's doing real well. He just needs to get a handle on his self-control. But then, that is what makes Naruto Naruto." While ninja were not supposed to let emotions cloud their minds during their missions, Naruto seemed to draw his strength from his own and refused to become an emotionless killing machine. Kakashi's smile faded as he couldn't help but wonder if many years from now, given that Naruto lived that long, the young boy would still be able to show that innocent smile to everyone. He had only experienced a small amount of the pain and hardship that was common in most shinobi's lives. He only hoped that the boy didn't lose his zest for life and that ambiguous something that made people respond to him.

Jiraiya had explained to him how the seal placed upon Naruto's abdomen that had sealed the demon away inside the infant boy allowed the demon's chakra to leak through and make it accessible to help protect the boy. However, now it seemed he needed protection from his protection. That in essence was what this training was all about. After having spent two and half years trying to learn to draw and utilize the demon's power, now he needed to learn to develop his own to its admittedly great potential. Kakashi couldn't help but feel in some way that those two and half years were not only wasted time, but were in effect harmful in the long run.

"Yes, he is trying very hard," Yamato said after a long moment of quiet. "But he is also distracted. I can't help but think that his training would be going much smoother if we had been successful in brining the Uchiha back."

Kakashi gave a short laugh. "Maybe, but more likely having Sasuke here would prove more distracting to him while providing less drive to finish the jutsu." This had been the first time that Kakashi had trained one on one with the short blonde shinobi and he had to admit he was a little surprised at his determination and rapid progress. Then again, he surmised, Jiraiya had told him how quickly Naruto had mastered the Rasengan technique.

There was another stretch of silence on Yamato's part as his eyes were lost in thought. "It was strange watching the two of them interact," he finally said. "For all of Naruto's desire to rescue Sasuke, he spent most of his time in shock, staring at him. And for all of his animosity and speed, Sasuke could have run him through easily, but it was almost like he wanted someone to stop him. It was very confusing."

"And that about sums up their entire relationship," Kakashi agreed sadly from beneath his mask.

Sakura climbed the steps to the Hokage Tower briskly. She was desperately trying to keep busy while Naruto trained to keep her mind off of their recently failed mission. However, she couldn't help but think over the events of that encounter. She had wondered before how she would react to seeing Sasuke again. She had wondered if time would change how she felt about him or perhaps he about her. What she hadn't expected however was the very grown-up perceptions she had experienced.

Yes, he was still incredibly good looking. Yes, he had obviously become stronger and more powerful in the last two and a half years of training under one of the Legendary Sannin. And yes, she reluctantly admitted, he was still maniacally fixated on killing his older brother for the annihilation of their clan by said brother. And, as usual, all of his attention had been focused on Naruto during the confrontation. She gave a small half smile to herself as she pondered whether she should be jealous of the blonde or not.

What surprised her was that she didn't feel the lovesick pitter-patter of her heartbeat or the blind adoration she had previously held for him. Rather the first and most prominent emotion she had experienced was sadness. She was sad that the appearance of his former teammates seemed to have no effect on his cold demeanor. She was sad that he had let his obsession consume him to the point of spiritual suicide (since his body would still be alive under Orochimaru's control.) She was sad to realize while gazing up at his impassive face, that though she had a crush on him years ago she really hadn't known who he was beneath the surface. She realized that what she missed the most was the teammate and friend (as much as he could be one) that Sasuke had been.

She still cared for him deeply, but she didn't know if she could ever fully trust someone that was capable of that depth of darkness, betrayal and obsession not to break her heart. There were many young men out there who were more open, more caring and more sane that could be the kind of boyfriend that she wanted.

A sudden gust of wind and blur of green resolved itself into a spandex clad, dark haired young man with rather thick eyebrows. "Sakura-san!" he exclaimed happily.

"Hello, Lee," Sakura replied with a smile. She wasn't sure what it was, but she couldn't help but smile whenever the boisterous taijutsu master was around.

"I have just returned from my mission and I and my teammates were going out to lunch. Would you like to join us in our celebration of our joyous youth?!" He cleared his throat and added hesitantly, "That is if you haven't eaten already and aren't busy."

"Sure, just let me turn in these medical reports to Tsunade-shishou, then I'll be free." Her jade green eyes glanced down to indicate the folders she was currently carrying.

Lee gave her a blinding smile and a thumbs up. "Then I shall await you at the bar-b-que restaurant!" With another gust of wind and blur, he was gone.

"Well, two out of three isn't bad," Sakura reminded herself while smoothing down her wind-blown pink hair.

After an unanswered knock on the door to Tsunade's office, Sakura tentatively stepped inside. She saw her mentor sound asleep on her desk, blonde hair splayed over her face. Trying to be as quiet as possible, she crept over to the side table to place the latest reports from the hospital. Details of supplies, patients and current medical research all dutifully reported for the Hokage's perusal.

She was passing her sleeping sensei again when the word "snake" written on a small strip of paper caught her eye. The small scrap, which she recognized as having come from a messenger bird, was lying partially under the large breasted woman's elbow. Using all of the stealth skills at her disposal, Sakura very carefully leaned over to get a better look.

'Snake meeting wi...1 wk...Oto abando...' was all she could decipher.

Frowning, Sakura glanced at the still slumbering Godaime and decided to take the risk. Reaching down, she tugged slightly on the paper, drawing it out from under the sleeved arm leaning on it. Giving a startled snort, Tsunade sat up like a shot. Improvising quickly, Sakura immediately placed her hand on her teacher's shoulder. Maybe not the safest move considering the Sannin's monstrous strength but the best she could come up with on such short notice.

"...daime," she deliberately started in the middle of her word as if she had been talking all along. "How many times do I have to tell you to get a good night's sleep so you don't do it in your office?" She hastily glanced down at the piece of paper before looking into a pair of honey colored eyes.

"Don't startle me like that," the Hokage groused. She casually scooped her papers on the desk together, including the message slip. "What do you need, Sakura?"

"I just wanted to let you know that I dropped off the hospital reports for you." Sakura beamed a smile at her. "If you don't need me for anything else, I'm going to go eat lunch with Lee. And his teammates," she added hastily.

Tsunade gave a knowing smirk that somehow made Sakura blush. "Go on then and when you are done, report back to me."

"Yes, shishou!" She hurried out of the office, wondering where she could find Naruto. There was a high probability that Orochimaru was going to be meeting someone near the abandoned lair in Oto in a week.

Naruto found himself sitting at Ichiraku's a few days later, wincing at the incompetent new help and slowly starving to death. Kakashi and Yamato, tired of the constant diet of ramen, had excused themselves to eat elsewhere with an admonishment to be back at the training grounds in a few hours.

As he waited for his food, he mentally reviewed his progress with his new jutsu. In spite of the fact that his sensei told him he was advancing quickly, he still felt he needed to learn faster. It wouldn't be long before saving Sasuke would become a moot point.

He sighed as the raven-haired young man's name formed in his mind. He was trying to keep him firmly albeit indirectly in his mind. That way he could focus on his goal without dragging up all the emotions associated with him. However, once his name came to mind all of his thoughts and feelings came rushing back with it and his concentration got shot to hell.

The image of Sasuke standing atop the ledge above the ruined hideout flashed before his mind's eye. Seeing him standing there calm and composed with a hand on his hip as if he found the whole situation vastly amusing and yet beneath his notice at the same time.

Naruto had felt as if he had been hit in the chest with a sledgehammer.

Granted the exhaustion he had felt since fighting with Orochimaru had contributed to his inaction. But it was also trying to swallow past the sudden lump in his throat and dealing with his suddenly frantic heartbeat that held him locked into place as well.

He stubbornly refused to accept the bullshit explanation that his best friend had tried to feed him concerning his reasons for not killing him at the Valley of the End. Even before going to join the snake Sannin, Sasuke had always tried to deny he had any human feelings.

Then Sasuke had jumped down and appeared directly in front of him, putting an arm around his shoulders. That time Naruto had frozen up from fighting with himself to keep from sinking into his friend's embrace and pleading with him to come home. Of course then the bastard just had to try and kill him again (pathetically, he might add) and everything went to shit.

Naruto was jolted out of his thoughts as he felt someone sit down on the stool beside him. He noticed the cooling bowl of ramen that had apparently been placed in front of him unnoticed.

'The bastard's screwing with my ramen now. That I can't forgive,' he grumbled mentally. He glanced over at the pink head of hair that moved into his personal space.

"Sakura-chan!" he greeted, plastering a smile on his face. It wasn't that he was unhappy to see her, quite the contrary. However, he was enjoying one of his few successful brooding sessions. He usually didn't brood too well, finding the whole process boring after a good 10-15 minutes of angst. Kami knew that he certainly didn't have it down to the art form that the bastard did.

"Hello, Naruto," she said with what seemed to be forced cheer. "I've been looking everywhere for you." She beamed a smile at him that was almost as fake as his own and reached over to clasp his hand in hers.

He blinked in surprise a moment then gave her a more sincere smile accompanied by a light blush. "If you had wanted a lunch date with me, you only had to ask!"

"Unfortunately, I don't have time today," she replied, squeezing his hand tighter. "I have to get back to work. I'll talk to you later. Ja!"

Naruto kept his fingers curled around the small note in his hand, casually sliding it into his pocket as she left. He hurriedly gulped down his food, paid for it and left the stand. Once he was somewhere semi-private, he unfolded the note and read the contents. His eyes widened and without a second thought, started running towards the Hokage Tower.

Sprinting up the steps two and three at a time, Naruto skidded to a stop in front of the door to the Hokage's office. A masked ANBU was leaning against the wall next to the door. As he started moving toward the entrance, the ANBU smoothly stepped in his way.

"The Hokage is currently in a meeting. Come back later," he said in an emotionless voice.

"But I really need to talk to her!" Naruto protested.

"Hokage-sama is meeting with the elders. They are not to be disturbed."

Naruto gave a growl of frustration and headed back down the stairs. Once he was out of sight, he hopped out the nearest window and headed up the side of the Tower wall. Once he was a floor below Tsunade's window, he suppressed his chakra and jumped to the next floor. Catching a hold of the window frame, he pulled himself up only to find and empty office.

He was about to leave when he noticed the door to the conference room slightly ajar. Being as silent as possible, he eased the window open to see if he could hear. After all, if Tsunade-baachan was talking to the village elders they were probably discussing getting Sasuke back.

"Absolutely not!!" Tsunade's voice rang out in the room.

"No, Tsunade, things will be this way," an older female voice stated unequivocally. "We tried things your way. The first mission he steps outside the village for, he gets attacked by one of the strongest members of the Akatsuki. It was only providence that an elder from the Sand Village was there to help them escape."

She sighed and Naruto could almost envision her shaking her head. "No more missions. The jinchuuriki will stay in the village where he will be better protected."

"But as I stated before-" Tsunade started.

The elder interrupted her, "Yes, yes, the village would be in more danger and if he keeps moving they won't find him. I heard your arguments the last time we had this discussion. However, they found him quickly and easily. At least in the village there are those that can protect him and keep him out of Akatsuki hands. No more missions and I want at least two ANBU trailing him at all times. You've indulged him enough Tsunade. It is time you put the village and your duties before you feelings for the boy."

An older male voice spoke up at this time. "We are still considering the Hyuuga curse seal. If he is captured, it would be better if he dies rather than that evil organization getting their hands on the Nine-Tails."

At this announcement, Naruto's eyes widened in disbelief and dawning horror.

"He will not fall into enemy hands, I have said this before." Tsunade sounded strangled as if she were trying to reason with the elders and not outright shouting at them. "As I said, I would stake my life on it-"

"That was before he was almost taken the moment he stepped out of the village," the male voice stated calmly. "And besides, Tsunade, it isn't just your life that you are betting with. It is the lives of everyone in this village, potentially the lives of everyone in this country. And frankly, we all know about your luck and gambling."

Naruto moved his numb body to jump down to the floor below him, not hearing Tsunade's continuing arguments. Fumbling to get a handhold, he half crawled, half fell through the window and onto the floor. Shaking, he climbed to his feet.

'No longer to be able to leave the village. No longer to be able to go on missions. Either stuck at the missions desk or the academy (no offense Iruka-sensei.) No, it would be the mission desk. There were still some in the village that wouldn't tolerate "the demon" teaching their children. ANBU following me everywhere. Kami-sama! A possible curse seal on my head to fry my brains if I get caught!'

By now Naruto was blindly walking down the stairs, seeing nothing but his grim future. He abruptly stopped in his tracks. 'I won't be able to bring back Sasuke.'

Naruto spent a good five minutes rolling the fact around in his mind. 'I won't be able to bring back Sasuke.' He felt panic seize his heart. He couldn't give up on Sasuke. For Sakura's sake. For the promise he made. For his own sake.

"I have to go," he whispered out loud.

"Oh, no problem, Naruto-niichan. I understand you're busy learning cool new moves. Maybe you can teach me your new pervy jutsu later."

Naruto glanced up to see Konahamaru who apparently had been there talking to him without him realizing it. "You should get some rest soon, you look out of it. I'll talk to you later! Ja, ne!"

"Yeah, later," Naruto murmured dazedly. His hands slipped into his pockets and brushed the note from Sakura. Mouth firming in resolve, he started to walk.

TBC