--

Iruka jumped back as Naruto again bit at the bars of his cage, just narrowly missing the older man's fingers.

Naruto's eyes were wide and unfocused. And as he gnawed on the thick steel bars, drool slipped out of his mouth in a wide white arch. There was a heavy grinding as he wore his teeth down, growling and biting.

Iruka craddled his hand in slight surprise, and stepped back another foot. The boy looked so tame from a distance..

Kakashi the Tour Guide came up from behind with him, still reading his book and seemingly half-asleep. "He's a dangerous one, alright. They caught him out on the outskirts of town, just yesterday."

Kakashi hummed as he read, and Iruka stared openly at the book. ("What?" Kakashi blinked innocently. But Iruka had no reply. He only shook his head.)

"Yesterday ..? What was he doing so far out? In the Uchiha district no less." Iruka turned to stare at the boy, who by this time had taken to snarling and salivating again. He smiled kindly at the blonde hair and almost reached out again.

Kakashi shrugged. "You could ask his Keeper. Uchiha Sasuke takes care of him. He'd know." (He grabbed Iruka's hand before he got it bitten off and shook his own head. "I wouldn't do that if I were you.")

Iruka glances around them, having to even stand on his toes at one point to see over the throngs of people crowding up this small zoo. Finally he spotted, seeing a dark-haired boy with the company uniform unloading bags off a truck.

"Sasuke..?" Iruka called out as the boy started to pass by.

He turned around, a bag of food still in his hands and stood intentive as a reply. Sasuke stared at Iruka unabashed for several minutes before walking close enough for them to talk.

"What was ..?" Iruka turned to Kakashi in question.

The lazy pervert supplied, "He's Naruto" before giggling at his book and flipping another page. (Said 'Naruto' snarled at him and tried to bite his feet through the bars, snapping and slamming his body against the barrier.)

"What was, 'Naruto', .. doing out on in your district?" Iruka tried to be polite, smiling at the boy who had just lost his family the last year.

Sasuke tilted his head as he thought, and shifted the bags so they weighed lighter in his arms.

"He was .. mating with my dead mother's corpse."

Kakashi politely dropped his book on the floor and Iruka made a few un-polite sounds as he stumbled backwards in surpise.

. . And he kept making them for several minutes. (He was incoherent for a long while.)

Kakashi blinked steadily, sure he had misheard. ".. your mother? Are you sure?"

Sasuke nodded. "Quite sure."

He turned to smile at the Naruto, who had taken to tugging with his teeth on his cage again. "I was fucking him from behind while he was doing it."

--

Author's Stupid Commentry:

Naughty naughty crack! XD :laughs manically: NoNoWriter made me do it. I got this prompt; 'Naruto has rabies and is salivating all the time.' and 'Naruto funking dead Uchiha.' DX I supplied the SasuNaru.

:evil!evil grin: This was right up my alley, hun?

If'n you ask, they're at a large outdoor Zoo. DX And people think Naruto's an animal, though I donno. Maybe he is, maybe he isn't? Nobody's quite right in this fic. (Though, are they ever really..?)

Look! It's my 20th fic. Let's celebrate! Crack for everyone! DX