Sleep

This story includes shounen-ai. ZackCloud and SephirothCloud. I do not own Final Fantasy VII.

-

The left side of the bed had never felt so cold. No matter how many times Cloud rolled over and wished to see a familiar mess of black hair and smell of sweet cologne, it was never there.

Instead he saw a man, who was always staring straight back at him, his eyes open and observing his each movement. His cold hands ran up and down his thigh, as he noticed that he was still awake. His taunting green eyes, which shone that mysterious color of mako, never ceased to terrify him.

Cloud gave an awkward smile to the man next to him, before rolling back to his other side. He did not want to repeat his mistake all over and over again. Not with the General. Not with anyone.

After a while Cloud's eyelids started to feel heavier. A feeling of relief overwhelmed him, as he realized that the slumber was finally taking over him. It was tearing him away from the place, which was called reality. The place he had grown to hate the most in the whole world.

A smile on his lips his body and mind relaxed. But the pair of piercing eyes never ceased to stare at him.

-

Cloud was back at the place, where his life seemed to begin. No, not Nibelheim, which was the place where his life was denied by everyone. It was the place where he was supposed to start anew and maybe grow some backbone.

But it was not the place that made him feel alive. It was Zack.

Glancing the familiar surroundings of the facility, where new SOLDIERs were made, made Cloud feel like he was home again. Even though part of him realized he was in a dream, he did not want to allow it to destroy the nostalgic feeling. Coming back here every night was the only reason he allowed himself to fall asleep all over and over again.

He heard a familiar whistle behind him and turned around to see a face he had been waiting to see again. He was standing there, his arms loosely crossed over his muscular chest and a playful smirk playing on his lips.

"You're here." Cloud stated in relief, as he turned around and devoured the man with his eyes.

Zack was the reason why he had started despising long and lonesome days. For him, he closed his eyes each passing night, because he knew that in his dreams everything was still alright.

Cloud started walking towards Zack, his drowsy mind filling with both happiness and sadness. The things were never supposed to turn out like this. This was not the way their story was supposed to end.

Zack detached himself from the wall and spread out his arms, as he waited for Cloud to reach him.

Eventually two arms enclosed Cloud into a strong, yet loving embrace. The blond boy sighed in content and leaned his head against the chest.

"I can't believe you still bother yourself with me." Zack chuckled, his voice as charming as ever, "Seph won't be happy."

Cloud shook his head a little. He did not want Sephiroth to replace Zack in the first place. The man had wormed his way into his life and taken advantage of him, when he was on the edge of breaking. His words had reassured him at first, but now they only deepened the void inside of him.

He heard Zack sigh deeply, as he let go off Cloud, "I thought I told you to keep on living, for my sake as well."

Cloud did not have time to answer Zack's statement, as he was pulled forward and a kiss placed on his lips.

A kiss, which made no sound and tasted like misery and melancholy. It was only an empty touch with no emotion. Cloud could not remember any longer what it was like to kiss Zack, and it seemed that he could not get that sensation in his dreams.

As Zack pulled away, the scenario changed. They were no longer at the ShinRa, but close to Midgar. It was the place and the time, which Cloud never wanted to see again. But now he was forced to watch Zack's last breaths. And there was he, kneeling beside the dark-haired man.

He could hear Zack's soft voice saying his last words. Cloud remembered how he had stared into his eyes, as they had slowly become lifeless. He remembered the scent of blood, which was pouring from the deep wounds on Zack's chest.

He could remember all that, but he could not even remember how it was like to kiss the man he loved.

Suddenly he was screaming.

He was screaming so loud that he thought that his throat would tear open.

-

And he was still screaming, as he shot up from the bed. His body was sweaty and trail of tears running down his cheek.

He was trapped. He was caught by his dreams, which kept showing him the things he wanted and needed to see. His dreams, as well as the Buster Sword, were the only things he had left of Zack.

"Another dream about him?"

Cloud was a little startled, as he heard a cold voice break the thick silence. He turned his head towards Sephiroth, who was still watching him.

"S-Sephiroth…" Cloud stuttered uneasily, as if he was guilty because of the dreams he was having. He knew Sephiroth loved him, but his heart was with Zack's. The blond buried his face in his palms and his shoulders trembled slightly, "I'm so sorry."

But Sephiroth did not crave for an apology. He knew that he was nothing more but a replacement for something he could never replace.

The silver-haired man stretched his arms out and pulled Cloud down on the bed with him. His strong arms surrounded Cloud, but he had no idea how cold it made the other one feel.

They were both so very much alike. Neither one of them could ever let go off the one they loved the most.