12-4-07
Disclaimer: I don't own Fire Emblem
Fleeting Thoughts
Jaffar: Lost in Darkness
I am the Angel of Death
What is ordered, I do
Without thought or remorse
Questioning nothing, feeling nothing
-
Until this order
"Nino betrayed us. Kill her."
-
I bow my head and say nothing
Even though for the first time
I did not want to do what I had been ordered
And I cannot understand why
-
I run through the night
Blending in with the shadows
Unseen and unknown
A specter more than a man
-
Born in shadow
Raised by darkness
From the moment he found me
And taught me to kill
To feel nothing
To be nothing
But death
-
There was no laughter
No smiles
No warmth
No light in this world
-
Until she came
It was her laughter that first drew me to her
This small girl with scruffy green hair
And a smile so bright it did not belong in this dark place
-
She did not fear me
Even when I returned splattered in blood
Or lashed out in sleep from nightmares that wouldn't end
There was one dream in particular
Where those I've killed came back for me
Reaching out with grisly hands
To drag me deeper into the depths of hell
I killed them all again in my dreams
All except one
A woman who only looked at me with sorrow
And whispered the last word on her lips before she died, "Matthew"
More than once I've woken from that dream
Only because Nino rushed to my side
-
Why did she never run?
Why did she not see this night would come?
-
I find Nino alone
Staring up at the stars as if unaware of danger
Without a sound I close the distance between us
But somehow she senses my presence and faces me
-
"You know why I've come," I tell her
-
She only nods and gives me a tiny smile
Her eyes are bright with tears
But still she looks at me without fear
"I am ready."
-
My blade is drawn from its sheath
A slow hiss of metal that resonates through the air
I lower my body in readiness for a single strike
And still she does nothing
Only looks at me with blue eyes
Which seem to forgive even as they say goodbye
-
I feel myself shaking
My breath coming too fast
And I am seized by the image of a precipice
At which I am poised, dangling
Over an abyss of endless night
-
"Damn you," I growl. "I cannot do this with you looking. Close your eyes!"
-
She gasps sharply
Her face scrunches up and tears fall down her face
But still she whispers
"I'm glad I met you, Jaffar."
Before taking a deep breath and closing her eyes
-
I spring toward her
Ready to kill as I have done countless times before
I raise my blade, but the moment before I strike
Her eyes open
And what I see there…
-
Impossible
-
My blade drops
I cannot move, cannot break her gaze
For her eyes are like the eyes of the woman in my dream
Full of sorrow
But also something more
Something deeper I cannot name
The emotion in that woman's eyes when she called to him
Also shines in Nino's eyes when she looks at me
-
I fall to my knees
Fighting for every shallow breath
My heart beating a rapid tattoo in my chest
-
I am the Bringer of Death
So why…why can't I do it?
-
"J-Jaffar…?"
She reaches a trembling hand to me
And I snarl as I jerk my head away
But am unable to move when I feel her fingers on my cheek
And can only stiffen, clenching my fists
Fighting something sweeping through me at her touch
-
Then she releases a ragged breath
And falls to her knees beside me
Slowly she wraps her arms around my neck
And buries her face against my throat
Whispering my name again and again
-
This is weakness! Some part of my mind rages
And I put my hands up to push her away
But instead find them going around her
Holding her gently at first
Then gripping tightly, desperately
As if she could stop the emotions rushing through me
I cannot understand the burning in my eyes
Or the wetness on my face
-
She pulls away and looks at me with something like wonder
Then softly places her lips first on one cheek, then the other
Kissing my tears away
And in that moment
The cold and dark
Shatters around a heart I thought long dead
And I feel…warm
"Nino…"
-
She smiles
And embraces me once again
I exhale
And finally surrender
-
I hold her close, unable to say another word
But knowing that everything has changed
She had made her way into my very soul
-
For when I was bound to darkness
She was the light that set me free
-
Jaffar to Nino – Rekka no Ken
Author's Notes: This was a challenge to write because it had to fit Jaffar's dark past but also show Nino's part in his life. I thought of scrapping it too when I found it deviated too much from game events, but decided to let it stand as an alternate rather than true retelling of Nino and Jaffar's story.
Thank you everyone for reading and I'd love to hear your thoughts on the piece. Also, I'd like to thank bblonski, Kitten Kisses, NazalieSan, and Frog-Lizard for reviewing Fleeting Thoughts since the beginning. I truly appreciate it.
-Kitsilver-