12-4-07

Disclaimer: I don't own Fire Emblem

Fleeting Thoughts

Jaffar: Lost in Darkness

I am the Angel of Death

What is ordered, I do

Without thought or remorse

Questioning nothing, feeling nothing

-

Until this order

"Nino betrayed us. Kill her."

-

I bow my head and say nothing

Even though for the first time

I did not want to do what I had been ordered

And I cannot understand why

-

I run through the night

Blending in with the shadows

Unseen and unknown

A specter more than a man

-

Born in shadow

Raised by darkness

From the moment he found me

And taught me to kill

To feel nothing

To be nothing

But death

-

There was no laughter

No smiles

No warmth

No light in this world

-

Until she came

It was her laughter that first drew me to her

This small girl with scruffy green hair

And a smile so bright it did not belong in this dark place

-

She did not fear me

Even when I returned splattered in blood

Or lashed out in sleep from nightmares that wouldn't end

There was one dream in particular

Where those I've killed came back for me

Reaching out with grisly hands

To drag me deeper into the depths of hell

I killed them all again in my dreams

All except one

A woman who only looked at me with sorrow

And whispered the last word on her lips before she died, "Matthew"

More than once I've woken from that dream

Only because Nino rushed to my side

-

Why did she never run?

Why did she not see this night would come?

-

I find Nino alone

Staring up at the stars as if unaware of danger

Without a sound I close the distance between us

But somehow she senses my presence and faces me

-

"You know why I've come," I tell her

-

She only nods and gives me a tiny smile

Her eyes are bright with tears

But still she looks at me without fear

"I am ready."

-

My blade is drawn from its sheath

A slow hiss of metal that resonates through the air

I lower my body in readiness for a single strike

And still she does nothing

Only looks at me with blue eyes

Which seem to forgive even as they say goodbye

-

I feel myself shaking

My breath coming too fast

And I am seized by the image of a precipice

At which I am poised, dangling

Over an abyss of endless night

-

"Damn you," I growl. "I cannot do this with you looking. Close your eyes!"

-

She gasps sharply

Her face scrunches up and tears fall down her face

But still she whispers

"I'm glad I met you, Jaffar."

Before taking a deep breath and closing her eyes

-

I spring toward her

Ready to kill as I have done countless times before

I raise my blade, but the moment before I strike

Her eyes open

And what I see there…

-

Impossible

-

My blade drops

I cannot move, cannot break her gaze

For her eyes are like the eyes of the woman in my dream

Full of sorrow

But also something more

Something deeper I cannot name

The emotion in that woman's eyes when she called to him

Also shines in Nino's eyes when she looks at me

-

I fall to my knees

Fighting for every shallow breath

My heart beating a rapid tattoo in my chest

-

I am the Bringer of Death

So why…why can't I do it?

-

"J-Jaffar…?"

She reaches a trembling hand to me

And I snarl as I jerk my head away

But am unable to move when I feel her fingers on my cheek

And can only stiffen, clenching my fists

Fighting something sweeping through me at her touch

-

Then she releases a ragged breath

And falls to her knees beside me

Slowly she wraps her arms around my neck

And buries her face against my throat

Whispering my name again and again

-

This is weakness! Some part of my mind rages

And I put my hands up to push her away

But instead find them going around her

Holding her gently at first

Then gripping tightly, desperately

As if she could stop the emotions rushing through me

I cannot understand the burning in my eyes

Or the wetness on my face

-

She pulls away and looks at me with something like wonder

Then softly places her lips first on one cheek, then the other

Kissing my tears away

And in that moment

The cold and dark

Shatters around a heart I thought long dead

And I feel…warm

"Nino…"

-

She smiles

And embraces me once again

I exhale

And finally surrender

-

I hold her close, unable to say another word

But knowing that everything has changed

She had made her way into my very soul

-

For when I was bound to darkness

She was the light that set me free

-

Jaffar to Nino – Rekka no Ken


Author's Notes: This was a challenge to write because it had to fit Jaffar's dark past but also show Nino's part in his life. I thought of scrapping it too when I found it deviated too much from game events, but decided to let it stand as an alternate rather than true retelling of Nino and Jaffar's story.

Thank you everyone for reading and I'd love to hear your thoughts on the piece. Also, I'd like to thank bblonski, Kitten Kisses, NazalieSan, and Frog-Lizard for reviewing Fleeting Thoughts since the beginning. I truly appreciate it.

-Kitsilver-