Fandom: FMA
Title: Coming To Terms

Pairings: Elricest, OC/Al

Rating: NC 17
Warnings: Incest, yaoi, lemon

Author's Notes: AU, OC

Word Count: 8,257
Status: Complete

Disclaimer: Not mine, too bad. Not mine, so sad.

Summary: "Well, well, well." Al looked nervously at Ed, who still leaned in the door to the hallway, looking almost… predatory.

Coming To Terms

Chapter 1

A change came over Alphonse the day he dragged his brother in tears from Mustang's office. Though the younger boy's eyes were dry at the time, they changed. He could no longer look Edward in the eyes anymore. A fleeting glance was all he could ever manage, and a quick shamed look away. Ed winced every time it happened, his heart faltering. He cursed himself and wished he'd never gone to his superior officer with his tearful tale of a little brother that loved more than he should. He would never forget how white Al's face had been when he'd startled both men with a soft 'no'. Ed's head had jerked up, eyes flowing, and his heart had stumbled to see the blankness on Al's face. "It's alright, Niisan," he'd said just as softly. "There's nothing to be afraid of. Nothing will change. Come home." As for Mustang, Al couldn't even bring himself to look in the man's general direction.

As Al had supported him back to their room, only one time had he given Ed a wounded look. "Why did you…" Then he sighed. "Never mind." But Ed knew. Al was humiliated and crushed. It was bad enough to have finally worked up the courage to tell Ed how he really felt, and been, in a round about way, rebuffed, but then Ed had gone to someone outside, and told everything.

That evening, Ed had screwed himself up and kissed Al. Al had leapt away with horror on his beautiful face. "Don't do that, Niisan, please."

"But why not, Al?" Ed had whispered, shaken by Al's response even more than he'd been by his earlier declaration, "You said…"

"No!" And Al's voice had been trembling but fierce. "Did you really think I would welcome it now, knowing how you really feel?" And Ed had fallen silent, the realization of what he'd done finally sinking in.

"Are you going to leave me, Al?" Ed had asked softly, hair in his eyes to hide the tears.

"No, Niisan," Al had said faintly. "I could never live without you." Then Al had gone and made up a bed on the couch, refusing to sleep beside his brother ever again.

Ed had wept silent tears, realizing that what Al had wanted hadn't really been so terrible, only utterly surprising, and that his own actions had built what was feeling like an unbreachable wall between them. He could understand why Al was sleeping on the couch. If he was in love, and knew the object of his desire didn't want him that way, he would do the same. But he'd never realized that in going to Mustang with his tearful tale would cost him almost everything with Al.

His brother meant everything to Ed. Everything. And now, he had almost nothing. A now overly quiet young man lived with him, barely able to look him in the eye, shying away at every touch. There were no more rough and tumbled playful mock fights, and their sparring had a silent painful quality, and Al lost every time now. Al couldn't bear his brother's touch and thus held back, trying to avoid contact as much as possible. When Ed had pinned Al to the floor, there had been no victory, no triumph. Al had given him a strangled "You win," and lunged away as quickly as possible.

But when Ed came home from work one night, there was no Al. He'd been almost frantic. Al had come reeling in very late, and had been more than a little drunk. "What the hell, Al?" Ed had asked furiously, then fell silent when Al had hugged him, giggling, the scent of gin on his breath almost overpowering.

"S'okay, Niisan," He'd slurred. "Mmmm… forgotten how nice you smell, how warm… forgotten…" He'd kissed the side of Ed's neck sloppily as Ed supported him, and Ed jumped. Too drunk to notice, he fell into Ed's bed, dragging his brother with him. Al was laughing softly, telling him how much he loved him, how beautiful Ed was. Then he began to kiss and touch Ed. Ed had tensed slightly in surprise, afraid that Al would feel the motion, but he was too drunk, too lost in a soft and sleepy passion to notice. The more Al kissed him, the more Ed realized he liked it, and began to respond in kind. And when Al touched him between the legs, he'd moaned in astonishment at how much pleasure it brought him.

Al woke up feeling terrible. His head ached abominably, and there was a foul taste in his mouth. Then he tensed. He was in Ed's bed. Turning his head in dread, he found Ed sleeping next to him, on his back. And Ed was naked. Peeking under the blankets, he saw he was too, and there was the faint scent of sex. He poked his drink-clouded memories and saw himself overwhelming his brother with his unwelcome passion. "Oh, god, no," Al whispered stricken. If he'd felt sick before, it was nothing compared to the nausea that washed over him now. Trembling, he crept from the bed without waking his brother and locked himself into the bathroom. Turning the shower on full blast, he hoped the sound would muffle his retching. He'd come home drunk and raped the man he loved, his own brother, who didn't want him like that. He scrubbed himself until his body was raw, and did not spare the traitor between his legs. Only when there wasn't a drop of hot water left, what was cascading over his shivering body was icy cold, did he finally get out.

He heard Ed moving around, and cringed. What on earth was he going to say to Ed now? Peeking out the bathroom door, he heard his brother in the kitchen, and lunged for the bedroom, dressing in clean clothes hurriedly, swearing softly as the fabric snagged on wet skin. Nervously slicking back his shaggy honey blond hair, he finally slipped out the room to face his wronged brother.

Ed surprised him by giving him a hesitant smile. "I… I made breakfast for us. Thought you might be hungry."

Al's stomach revolted, and not just from his hangover. Al wished he were dead. "No thank you. I'm afraid… I feel a little sick."

"That's to be expected," Ed said with a fond smile. "Remember that time I got drunk and kept throwing up everywhere?" He noticed Al's delicately green complexion. "Sorry… Ummm, Al? You're only fifteen. You're too young to drink, don't you think?"

Al sourly thought that was just a little hypocritical of Ed, considering he'd just reminded them both of the time he got stinking drunk at fourteen, but he said nothing. "Don't worry," he said quietly. "I wont be drinking again, I promise."

Ed smiled again, tremulously.

Al's hands tightened around the hot tea Ed had given him. "Look, Niisan, about last night…"

"Yeah, yeah," Ed had replied nervously. "It's okay, Al. Really. It was… nice. I liked it."

Al couldn't meet his brother's eyes at all anymore. "No, it's not okay. I'm sorry. I… I…"

"Don't be," Ed said, trying to get Al to look at him, and failing. "I really did like it. It felt really good. We can do it again, whenever you like."

Al shook his head, then froze. That had been unwise. He waited for the world to stop spinning. "Please don't put a good face on this, Ed. What I did was wrong. I… abused you. God. It wont happen again, I promise."

Ed was wringing his hands. Since Al walked into the kitchen, he had yet to meet his eyes. And what he could see of his brother's clouded eyes, they were filled with shame and anguish. "It wasn't abuse, Al," he whispered. Al so seldom called him Ed. "I swear it wasn't. It… god, it felt really good. I would like to do it again, and I mean that."

Al looked at Ed for a moment, and found he couldn't bear it. "Can we not talk about this anymore, please? You have every right to… but I just want to forget what I did. I wont get drunk again, I promise. You don't have to pretend it was nice. You don't have to pretend you love me that way. I'm not going anywhere. I'm too weak to leave you." And Al got up slowly, abandoned his barely touched tea, and slipped out the back door into the garden.

Ed stood by the open door, listening to his brother's soft weeping at the end of the garden and his heart twisted. He hadn't been lying. He'd liked what Al had done to him, very, very much. He'd had no idea that Al could make him feel that way. It had been heat and white pleasure and rapture. But Al thought he was just pretending to help him save face. He really couldn't blame Al. He would too, if their positions were reversed. Ed had hoped that Al would come back in before he had to leave for work, but he wasn't surprised when his brother didn't. He left for HQ with a heavy heart.

When he got home, Al was once more not home. Before Al had left, however, he'd cleaned up, changing Ed's soiled sheets and remaking the bed, cleaning up the kitchen and just generally tidying up. He wondered if Al was out drinking again, and felt apprehensive. He didn't want his brother to be caught up in liquor's evil snare.

But Al came home soon after he did, his eyes clear. And he was dressed in his nicest clothes. At Ed's puzzled expression, Al gave him a weak smile, his eyes on the floor at Ed's feet. "I got a job," he said softly. "Working at the university downtown." He was clutching a folder in his hands. "I'm going to be a research assistant. One of several, but it's a start. I'll soon be contributing to the bills."

"Al, that's wonderful!" Ed stepped up to give him a hug, but Al shied away violently, almost falling in his haste to get away.

"Yeah. I'll be working late every weekday, so I'll prepare dinner before I go. All you'll have to do is heat it up. Is that okay?"

"Yeah, sure, Al," Ed said, struggling to hide his hurt. Why wouldn't Al believe him? He really did like making love with his brother. He wanted to do it again and again. He hadn't known it could feel like that. Hadn't realized. And now, Al had got himself a job that would keep him out late. He wondered how much of this was because Al didn't want to be around him anymore.

"Was I that bad?" Ed whispered. "Last night? Was it that terrible with me?"

This brought Al's horrified eyes up with a vengeance. "God, no, Ed. It's not like that at all. It was…" And for a moment a look of pure heavenly bliss spread across his face. Then he turned crimson, shame flooded his eyes, and he lowered his head. "It was wrong. Very wrong. Please, stop pretending you liked it, Niisan. We both know how you really feel about it." And Al hastened to the bedroom to change his clothes before holing up in the living room with the papers he had to fill out for tomorrow.