(A/N) Random ficcy I came up with at the top of my head. It's just the Naruto characters talking about their problems. I don't care if you flame, it's just a random fic. But, R&R anyway.

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, I wouldn't be doing this.

Note: LISTEN UP PEOPLE!! I AM NOT, I REPEAT, NOT, BASHING ANY CHARACTERS. MOST OF THE CHARACTERS I MAKE FUN OF ARE MY FAVORITES. SO DON'T REVIEW SAYING 'STOP BASHING SO-AND-SO' OR 'SO-AND-SO IS AWAESOME'. IT'S JUST A FIC.

Now enjoy.

Help us

The Naruto characters need your help. They suffer from many different diseases and conditions. Here they are to tell you about their problems:

"My name is Sasuke. I like Hawthorne Heights, I dislike everyone, and my hair looks like a chicken's ass. I think Orichimaru is Michael Jackson in disguise. And my name sounds like Sauce-gay."

"My name is Naruto. I have ADHD. There's an empty space between my headband and the back of my head. It's very hard to believe that I'm a ninja for I wear an orange tracksuit and I like to hear the sound of my own voice. I'm pretty dense."

"My name is Sakura. I'm schizophrenic. I'm chasing after an emo-boy with no personality who does not even acknowledge my existence. But since I'm even more dense than Naruto, I keep on lusting after him. It's not stalking. It's persistence."

"My name is Ino. My hormones are raging. Nuff said."

"My name is Shikamaru. I like clouds and dislike moving to much. I have low blood sugar and no motivation."

"My name is -munch- Choji. I have an eating -munch- disorder. Do not -munch- call me -munch- fat -munch- OR I WILL TURN INTO A FRICKIN' BALL AND SQUASH YOU!!!"

"My name is Kiba. I am a dog. Arf."

"M-my n-name is H-inata. I h-have n-no ba-backbone. I s-stutt-er s-so mu-much a-and t-talk s-so l-low, y-you c-can b-barely un-understand m-me. Y-you d-don't h-have to h-h-help m-me if yo-you d-don't w-want to…"

"My name is Shino. I like bugs."

"My name is Rock Lee and I'm fueled by the power of youth! It burns in my eyes!!! I am not a dork for Gui-sensei told me so and I believe everything he says is right! And sometimes I just keep on talking so much you just want to zone out or staple your ears shut, but I think…(blah, blah, blah)."

"My name is Neji. I have a superiority complex. My name has a hilarious meaning (screw), and I will kill anyone who makes fun of it. I do not believe I need help, for I am Neji, and I have the powers of God, and can pwn all of you losers… yeah, help me."

"My name is Tenten. I like weapons. Fear me."

"My name is Gaara. I'm an insomniac. The demon inside me is a perverted raccoon dog and I have the urge to kill every five seconds because of it. But the real reason why I'm here is because my teddy bear is my only friend."

"My name is Temari. My one brother is an insomniac demon container and my other one likes dolls. Help me."

"My name is Kankuro. I like dolls… erm… puppets. I paint faces and I'm available for birthday parties, bachelor parties, and bat mitzfas. No really."

Now you see how much help they need. Please do not donate any money towards any charities exept this one. Go to your nearest WaWa and put a penny in the little box that says 'Naruto Children Disorders fund'. It goes to a great cause.

(A/N) So that's it. I'malso doing one for Bleach and I might rewrite this and make it better. For now, flame, comment, whatever… just R&R.