Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon... I'm just playing with the characters Naoko created!
A/N: This story is going to attempt to undertake Seiya's one-sided relationship with Usagi, although in a little bit of exaggeration... Seiya's a bit more obsessed in this fic. To let everyone know beforehand, this is a Usagi/Mamoru pairing, NOT Usagi/Seiya. It's about Seiya learning to let go, and accept that Usagi's heart is not for him, but Mamoru. It will take more than Usagi's words to convince him of this, though...
Learning To Let Go
Part 1: "If You Love Me"
Seiya Kou was not an easy man to make fall in love with you.
His outer exterior may have been that of an outgoing famous singer, but inside he was guarded and determined. His mission took first and foremost priority, and love was something that merely got in the way. Women were flighty beings, and usually their so-called "love" was only because he was rich, good-looking, and famous. They did not care who the real Seiya Kou was.
Only one did.
Seiya let a wry smile overtake his features. And only that one had he fallen for, and hard.
The only problem was, she hadn't fallen for him. She was not like those obsessive female fans, and for that he was glad, but it irked him that she felt absolutely no awe, no starstruck love... nothing.
Why was it that the only one he let in, would not return the feeling?
Seiya sighed at the irony, shifting amongst the leaves to get more comfortable.
Yes, leaves.
He was utterly and absolutely obsessed. Here he was, lead singer of the Three Lights, spying on one Usagi Tsukino. Gods, the irony once more! Wasn't it supposed to be the other way around; people spying on him?
The ebony-haired infatuated man peered from behind the scraggly bush to try and catch another glimpse of the woman he'd dubbed "Odango Atama"; his blonde angel. She was sitting on a bench not far from Seiya's hiding place, the usual smile in place. Her slim legs were crossed gracefully, and the dress she wore, while modest, still alluded to any the drop-dead body hidden beneath the fabric.
The teen yawned, stretching and smoothing down the spun-gold hair atop her head, inbetween the two odango. Her blue eyes sparkled as she relished in the afternoon sun, looking delicious enough to eat.
"Chibi Chibi!" a little voice exclaimed, and out of nowhere appeared the small child of the same name. Seiya watched as Chibi Chibi clambored up onto the bench next to her "older sister" as Usagi claimed she was. Somehow, Seiya didn't quite believe the proclamation, but never pressed the issue.
"Chibi Chibi, did Mama let you come outside all by yourself?" Usagi inquired with her honey sweet voice, touching the red, heart-shaped odango on her little companion affectionately.
"Chibi," the little one grinned, nodding. Then she cocked her head yearningly, towards the direction of the playground nearby. Usagi looked over and then back at Chibi Chibi.
"Alright. I'll watch you, but be good!"
"Chibi Chibi!"
Seiya couldn't help but roll his eyes. Not a very developed vocabulary that girl had...
He turned back his attention to his crush on the bench, making sure again that his body was completely hidden by the bushes. He sighed, noticing every aspect of her.
The way she cocked her head to listen to the birds.
The way the sunlight glinted off her blonde head and created a halo like an angel's...
The way she watched Chibi Chibi as intently as she'd promised.
The way she would cross and uncross her legs.
The way her perfect, thin fingers splayed across the soft material of her dress.
Seiya couldn't help but sigh again, lost in the vision of Usagi in the sun, until a little voice interrupted the awe.
"Chibi... Chibi?"
Suddenly, he couldn't see Usagi anymore. Instead, he was looking into the curious cerculean orbs of one Chibi Chibi.
"Gah!" he cried, shooting back in surprise and falling flat on his back while effectively crushing the bushes that had been behind him.
"Chibi Chibi! Go away!"
"Away!" the ruby-head repeated, as she liked doing. Unheeding the order, she reached out to touch Seiya.
"Go back to Odango!"
"Odango!"
"Chibi Chibi," he growled.
"Chibi Chibi," she mimicked.
It was a losing battle, and the voice he heard next made Seiya blush all over in embarassment.
"Seiya? Is that you?"
Usagi had apparently noticed Chibi Chibi's behavior and come over to investigate. "...Why are you in the bushes?"
Seiya's mind turned over alibi after alibi in the space of a second, at last murmuring, "I was...um... watching ladybugs."
Nice, Seiya, real smooth. She'll sure fall for that, the Starlight's inner voice sarcastically jeered.
Usagi's face contorted in mirth but she seemed to fall for the cover story. "I never knew you liked ladybugs so much."
Seiya cleared his throat and stood, brushing off leaves, dirt, and twigs. "Uh, yah, they're fascinating." He scowled when Usagi started snorting and trying to contain her laughter.
"It's not funny!"
"Sorry. But you, Seiya? Liking ladybugs? It's... unexpected!"
Seiya stepped out of the little fort he'd created accidentally and held up his nose as if trying to save his dignity. A little tug on his pant leg, and the star looked down. Chibi Chibi held up her arms for him to pick her up, and he complied.
"Want to sit down with me?" Usagi asked politely, gesturing to the bench.
"Want to go out with me?" Seiya blurted, without thinking. Then his senses caught up with him and he regretted saying it at the look on Usagi's face.
"Seiya... I have a boyfriend, remember?"
Seiya began spluttering; he'd said it and now there was no turning back. It would feel better once it was off his chest, so he told himself to just go for it... "Yah, but he's in America. I don't think he'd mind me taking you out for a night, right?"
Usagi's face twisted ever so slightly as she glanced away.
"It's not him that would mind. It's me. I'm sorry."
Seiya put Chibi Chibi down and moved around so she was looking at him once more.
"Please say yes. For me," he pleaded, desperately. This rejection was hurting him; tearing him up inside... why wouldn't she just agree? Did she not like him?
"It would be too uncomfortable for me," she whispered, averting her eyes once more till they were facing the ground. It pained her to see Seiya's sad, heart-broken expression when refusing, but it had to be done. She had to end this fantasy he was fostering that she would just give up Mamoru because he was across the ocean in America!
Anger bit Seiya, hard, and a little jealousy too. "It's not like your boyfriend's been keeping up the correspondence; you said yourself that he wasn't replying to your letters!"
"He's just busy!" Usagi suddenly shouted, eyes glistening and intense. The next words she said softly. "He... said he'd be busy the first little while..."
"Don't you think it's been long enough?" Seiya whispered, grasping her shoulders and giving them a little shake.
"Mamo-chan's not like that," Usagi responded in the same quiet tone, but just as furiously as he. "He'll write back. He's just busy."
"Why don't you see what I do? Why can't you see that I am the one that loves you, not him!" Seiya cried, then instantly blushed. He hadn't meant to say that! Why, oh why was he just spewing his innermost feelings out to her like this!
Usagi stepped away from him, shaking the hands off her shoulders.
"Seiya..." she spoke softly, as if not wanting to hurt him. "If you love me, then you'll accept that my answer is no."
Seiya tried to speak, but found his voice wasn't complying with his will. He just mouthed like a fish for a few moments, and Usagi continued,
"If you love me, you'd see that I am in love with someone else! If you love me, you'd give me up!"
"I can't do that," Seiya replied strainedly, arms stiff at his side. He was forcing them to stay that way; they had a will of their own and wanted to reach out to her.
"You must," Usagi said in return, picking up Chibi Chibi and walking away.
On the wind almost, he heard her whisper, "I'm sorry, Seiya."
A/N: Thank you so much for reading this and please review! Next chapter will hopefully be out soon! Since I'm undertaking five stories at once now, it may take a little bit before the next update. At the moment my focus is on completing my story "Saving Bonds of Love".
The more who review, the faster I'll try to update!
AngelMoon Girl