I know, it has been a long while, and I'm sorry, I truly am. I just hope you guys still want to read this story.

Although it was summer in the Hidden Leaf Village, the weather was quite mild; a break from the usual scorching summers in Konoha. It felt like spring. It was the perfect weather for the upcoming nuptials, and Sasuke was sparing no expense.

The village was in an uproar, the townsfolk were scurrying around to do Ino's bidding. You see the wedding was quickly approaching. I knew this because the people who are making preparations for it would discreetly cease their work; when I'm in the vicinity. They would give me their pitying glances, and then gossip about how sorry they felt for me; when they thought I was out of hearing range.

Some mothers saw it as an opportunity to introduce their sons, while feudal lords wish to tie their names to the Hokage's one time apprentice and surrogate daughter. It was all for political gain, of course. Even my friends, would try to set me up on dates. What's worse is that submissive women offer themselves to me; wanting me to take on the role as their dominatrix mistress. Lady Tsunade had a good laugh about it. She told me not to worry about such things as she, and Anko had been approached by those same women. I had to admit after awhile even I started to laugh at it. It was one I really needed in spite of everything.

Hokage Mountain is the only place I find relief from the happenings in the village. Even in my clinic I find no solace; it was now tainted now by the lingering presence of the mere memory of the couple.

I hadn't been back since that day. It was only when Naruto braved the waters and broke into my home did I face the world again. I loved my brother Naruto, but on that day I didn't want to hear his testimony, but if it gave me the lift I needed; I was all for it. Somehow Naruto's words can shine through any darkness. No matter how Naruto acted most of the time, his heart which always backed up his words got through to those who listened, even Sasuke; although it took a while for the message to reach him. Now it was my turn.

Flashback

Most times all I had to do to distract Naruto was; to fix him a bowl of Ramen, but not today. Yes he ate the bowl, but that didn't deter from his task. He sat there with his arms folded across his chest, with a deep concentrated indent in his brow before he spoke. "Don't get stuck."

I blinked once, then a second time. 'That's it.' I thought. 'That's all I get. I wanted the grandeur speeches he gave to others, and "don't get stuck" was all I received,' thinking bitterly.

"Thanks I guess," I mumbled bitterly. "That was enlightening," I replied sarcastically. I heard him sigh.

"Sakura what I mean is…" came his soft more reserved voice. "Everything doesn't work out the way we planned, or how we want it. Bad things happen Sakura sometimes there are no reasons for it, but don't stay focused on the one mishap. You get mad, you scream, you cry, and you grieve about it, but you can't stay there."

I immediately started to protest, but Naruto wasn't having any of it. Naruto pinned me with a hard glare, and if I was honest with myself this would be the first true time I felt a smidge of fear from Naruto's glare.

"Just listen," he said. He looked pensive, as if he was debating if he should say something or not, rightfully so as I soon discovered.

"You know I love the old lady, right." I nodded knowing he was referring to my mentor and his sometimes tormentor.

"Sakura like you she fell in love, but he was a shinobi first and he died in the line of duty, not only that she also lost her younger brother he too died. In their death time began to stand still for her. She never got over it, and she couldn't move beyond that point in life. She spent her days mourning instead of looking at what's right in front of her." Naruto reached his hand over engulfing my smaller one, and looked at me with pleading eyes.

"Don't get stuck Sakura, and forget to leave the door open for someone else who's knocking."

I closed my eyes, willing the tears away, at Naruto words. 'Naruto,' I thought. 'Naruto always tells the truth, even if the truth is horrifying, he'd tell you. I knew the Toad Sage Jiraiya had a thing for my mentor, but he chalked it up to being a pervert. Yet I never knew of her lost love or brother in retrospect our situations are similar, except all she has are memories, and I have a constant reminder of what I've lost. But he had a point.

I wonder when had my best friend had grown up. I turned my attention back to him and thought; maybe not as grownup as I thought, as I looked as at him scarfing down my untouched bowl of ramen.

End Flashback

Naruto words rang true in my head, but the heart is a different matter altogether. Trying to let go is hard enough, but starting over after your heart has been put through a meat grinder is unlikely. It isn't a sparring match where if you fail; you just simply pick yourself up, shake it off, and try again. My heart just got off life-support, and not eager to go through another trauma.

I admit I've had some good days and days that aren't so good. Naruto, Kakashi, Lady Tsunade, Shizune, and even Sai made me feel like I wasn't alone. I'm doing my best to move on; yet at times when I'm sitting at home the reality of my situation sneaks up on me and I would begin to cry sometimes not stopping for hours. I don't know if it's my humiliation or my broken heart or if it's a mixture of both that has me in tears.

I was surprised Lee wasn't busting down my door with declarations of undying love of youth, when word got around. Well until I discovered he had paired off with nice civilian girl. He seemed everyone had paired off; Kakashi, and Shizune, Sasuke and Ino, Shikamaru and Temari, Kiba after he found his crush on Hinata was unrequited he started dating a shy younger kunoichi that graduated a year after they did. What's more surprising was TenTen who was now dating the ever elusive Shino. I was quite sure she and Neji would have hooked up; then again Neji was too busy trying to pry Naruto away from Hinata.

I smiled at the thought of Neji's vain attempts at scaring Naruto off. Naruto is probably the only person oblivious to the deadly glares Neji is always sending him. Naruto and Hinata went on a date to the ramen stand and Neji followed making sure Naruto wasn't trying to corrupt his younger cousin. Yet, poor Naruto waved enthusiastically at the other man and even invited him to join them; he even took liberties at ordering Butter Corn Ramen which Neji was allergic too. When Neji found Naruto went back to his own bowls, he glared at the offending bowl in front of him as if it would scurry away like a frightened enemy.

I smiled at the amusement of the memory. I wondered if he glares at any of his other meals that way. Neji has been on my mind lately. After what happened in the hospital; he's been a constant fixture in my mind, and in my life. He has started appearing at my most vulnerable times. He always seems to be there when other men eyed me with interest at eateries. He would come and just sit the table I occupied, or sit on the stool next to me in a bar. He never engaged me in small talk, and for that I was grateful. Sometimes mothers would try to ambush me and Neji would appear, and guide me away with his hands on the small of my back. Those intimate gestures keep the mothers and other men at bay sometimes. Neji had made his intentions clear that night at the hospital.

Neji was attractive that much was certain, and I was attracted to him; what female wouldn't be. Plus I hadn't been this strongly attracted to any guy, since Kankuro, after saving him. This attraction wasn't my adolescent attraction that grew into the deep love I have for Sasuke. But my attraction to Neji somehow seemed different.

I sometimes catch myself wondering about him; like what he does for fun besides plotting Naruto's demise. More importantly how can I get my hair to be that silky and shiny? If anyone knew Neji let me touch his hair, they'd call me a liar.

The memory of Neji sneaking into my tent while on a mission asking me to braid his hair; because he had lost his hair tie in battle earlier that day. His hair would be a hindrance, if we were to engage in another battle. I was marveled and envious at its sleekness; especially since we hadn't had lodging in almost six days. Yes Neji was growing on me, but opening the door to someone else seemed like an invitation to more pain on down the line.

Yet, I like the way he makes me feel, when I'm down, and he knows when not to speak; just having his presence was calming. Although Sasuke is quiet, you had the feeling if you moved he'd snap. The ultimate question is; do I want to go there with Neji? There are so many possibilities with starting again, after loving only one for so long. Would I forever compare him to Sasuke? Better yet, would I be able to fully give my all to another person again. Could I give Neji a chance?

Sighing at my dilemma I turned and leaned my back against the railing. For some reason my eyes drifted to the carved faces of the Hokages. At the very top of the head of Second Hokage Senju Tobirama, sat the man that has invading my thoughts.

He looked to be meditating.

My eyes snapped opened, after I felt someone's eyes on me.

'Sakura,' I thought. I gave a brief nod and continued with my morning meditation; well at least I tried to. Sakura, the cherry blossom of Konoha, has been a distraction in my thoughts for almost three year now. I mean I've always noticed her; she had pink hair, who doesn't notice that.

In the beginning I didn't think she was worth my time, because of her lack of fighting skills; add that to the fact she was the typical 12-year-old fangirl. It was her teammates that held my interest, Sasuke in particular. However, Naruto made me take notice of him during the finals. I still think it was a fluke that he beat me. Yet Sakura didn't peak my interest until, I saw her at my Jonin examination. She tended to my wounds after several matches with other competitors. I noticed she didn't take as much time as her counterparts took, in healing. A medic-nin was an admirable position; after all they are the ones that keep ninjas in working conditions. If not for medic-nins a lot of us would have career ending injuries, or we would have paid the ultimate price for our villages on the unforgiving forest floor.

It wasn't until later that I found out she was the Hokage's apprentice. That too is when others started to take notice of Sakura as well. Shinobi and civilian alike wondered; how could she possibly take being in the presence of the ill-tempered woman, for over an extended amount of time. As I got to know Sakura, I began to understand that the shy 12-year-old personality was a façade. Underneath there was a female just as bullheaded as her mentor.

As the danger grew over the years Sakura had accompanied Team Gai on many missions. I was impressed by her performances as a kunoichi and medic. I even got a firsthand experience, on how impressive she was.

I have always considered myself well in control of my emotions, and I'm naturally passive; but she saw through it. While on a mission it became my turn to take watch. She sleepily approached me and without a word she brought her green hued hands directly towards my injury. I didn't say anything because I was surprised that she even knew. And as quickly as she appeared she was gone, whispering only good night. This pattern continued for some time. She would always come and go without a word; except goodnight. She never mentioned it, and it always stayed between us. It wasn't until later missions; my curiosity got the better of me. I ask why and how she knew. She only smiled and said 'Kakashi was my sensei.'

Surprisingly I understood. Kakashi was notorious for not getting his wounds treated, and putting on a calm demeanor while he was injured. She had to have studied him a long time to be able to tell. She told me Kakashi and I was similar in that aspect.

My admiration for her grew even more, and soon she had become my medic of choice. Other medics saw it as an invitation; if I had let them heal me. A lot of civilian medic women thought it was a 'walk on the wild side' if they managed to get a brooding shinobi to their beds. I could never take those kinds of women to bed; they would undoubtedly go tell anyone who would listen. Sakura however kept a friendly professional relationship with all shinobi. Many have tried to coax her to their beds, but her love for Sasuke wouldn't allow room for another man; even temporarily. Although I thought her loyalty to the traitorous Uchiha was sorely misplaced, I respected her loyalty. Yet, after a while I found myself annoyed by it.

I watch as she shot down guy after guy, even some guys who went back for a second helping, and even thirds. I found myself angry with her, refusing everyone's advances, for a traitor. I started to see her as a traitor, but it wasn't until she agreed to a date with Lee that I found out why I felt; bitterness and anger towards her. Out of all people to point out I was jealous, it was Gai. He didn't come out and say I was jealous he said; "Your feelings of youth, has caught up with your manly body. Now you are envious that only one has succeeded, where others have failed their missions."

Over the years I've learned, to speak Gai and Lee. So in other words I was jealous of Lee, because he was out with Sakura. What was even more horrifying I was jealous of Uchiha, because he more than anyone had Sakura; her unwavering loyalty, her love, her everything. When I discovered this about myself, I couldn't help but wonder; when had things changed.

In the weeks that came, I tried to block that little epiphany from my mind; but I underestimated the pull of the pink haired female. I accepted the fact that she was attractive, and I was attracted to her. What I couldn't accept is my thinking of her at the oddest moments. During breakfast, I wondered did she eat a traditional Japanese breakfast, like I did, or what she was eating. Even my memories of her started to become a nuisance; one memory in particular stood out. I was in the shower once and I stared working the shampoo through my ebony locks, when I thought back to the time she braided my hair. As I continued to reflect on the memory my thoughts strayed to her being in the shower…wet; with her hands laced in her hair, and suds trickling down her body. Needless to say I earned myself a cold shower. In fact cold showers had become a constant, whenever my thoughts strayed with less than savory thoughts of Sakura.

I was harboring real feelings for Sakura, but knew she would reject my advances. Most guys just wanted a tumble in the sheets, but I would attempt to do what others had not. I would make friends with Sakura hoping maybe I could build from that friendship to something more. I made an effort to communicate with Sakura on a daily basis, and earn her friendship. About a month after that, I began to let her seek me out instead of me finding her. She had sought me out on occasions, without realizing she was even doing it. We had got close, but not as close as she and Naruto obviously, but close enough.

I had attended to ask her out, but war rained down upon us. In war you're never too sure if you'll survive, so getting into a relationship wasn't the greatest idea, at the time. Still throughout the war I watched her care for her friends, and those who were entrusted to her care. I also watched her fight for Naruto and the Uchiha. I watched her give her life away so we could have a fighting chance, against the legendary Madara Uchiha. That's when I knew. She was truly one of a kind. She wasn't the most beautiful, she didn't have a large bust like some of the other kunoichis, and she isn't as powerful as Naruto, or the Uchiha; but as a woman she was perfection.

When the Uchiha was welcomed back, I knew Sakura was off limits. Her sights were set firmly on Sasuke. Any fool could see she loved him. I knew it would only be a matter of time before he claimed her; he would be an idiot not to. He was a lucky man, not only was he welcomed back, he also had an amazing woman with a beautiful soul willing to love him unconditionally. In the coming year, I watched Sakura, willing to forgive his transgressions. She gave him space and waited patiently for him to be ready; but as I studied the man one night I knew she would be waiting a long time. The Uchiha showed clearly through his eyes, that he didn't love her; at least not in a romantic sense. I thought to myself he'll come around. Yet that was before a couple of months ago.

I spotted him and an unknown woman in an extremely friendly embrace. Usually I wouldn't think anything of it, but this was the Uchiha; and he didn't hug. Of course it could have been an overzealous fangirl attacking, but he hugged her back. Usually nothing ever shocked me, but they engaged in a kiss; a kiss that in no way said 'we are just friends'.

What really got me was the identity of the woman. I sat in my hiding spot hoping for Sakura's sake this was just a passing desire Sasuke had. Yet, as I watched I could tell it was not, by the familiarity they had with one another. As I sat there, half a dozen thoughts ran through my mind.

The first one was: How could he pass on Sakura?

Two: How long had this tryst been going on?

Three: How would Sakura take it?

Four: How could a person do this to their self-proclaimed best friend?

Five: How long would it take me to kick the Uchiha's ass?

Six: Did I still have chance to win Sakura's affections?

I don't know why but I couldn't tear myself away from the scene before me. I listen as an argument started between them. I could vaguely make out the words 'tell Sakura' from Ino, but the Uchiha shook his head no. At least the both had the decency to look remorseful.

Yes I knew about the relationship. Yes my gut clenched with guilt every time I talked to her, but this wasn't my secret to tell. Even if I told her, I'm pretty sure she would have called me a liar. It broke me each time I saw the love, and hope in her eyes when Uchiha was around; knowing she was headed to heartbreak. I just sat back, waiting for this disaster to happen, and happen it did. That idiot took out a full ad in the Konoha newspaper. The article created a firestorm of rumors, and Sakura is in the middle getting heavily burned.

After everything came out, I had no idea what to do for her. Sakura was my friend, but I didn't think I was a close enough friend to invade at that time. I left in the hands of the one's closest to her. I gave her the space, but that night at the hospital, I went for it. I needed her to know Uchiha wasn't the only guy in the world, but all I did was make her uncomfortable. In reality I just wanted her to see what had been in front of her the whole time. After she shied away from the kiss, I immediately back peddled. She wasn't ready, so I took the stance of just being a friend again. I would just be what she needed and nothing more, until she tells me otherwise.

Opening my eyes I saw she was still watching.

Neji got up, and leapt with regal grace to the ground where Sakura stood. "Sakura," he greeted.

"Neji, I'm sorry I didn't mean to distract you from your meditation," she said feeling guilty. He had been looking out for her, and the moment he finds a moment to himself, she interrupts.

"It's fine really," he said waving away her apology. For a moment neither of them said anything. The uncomfortable silence went on for a few seconds, until Sakura murmured that she need to go, and that she had a million things to do.

Neji just nodded, because he knew she was uncomfortable, but he wasn't ready for her to leave yet. As she was nearing the metal stairs he shouted out the first thing that came to mind.

"Sakura do you mind having a midday meal with me?"

'Midday meal?' he thought. 'Who says that,' feeling a bit embarrassed.

Sakura turned swiftly making a few locks of hair fall into her face. Taking her hand, she swiped the loose hair behind her ear. She smiled at the calm look on Neji's face, but knew he was anything but calm. She knew he was self-conscious about his abrupt inquire.

She didn't know why, but she wanted to go, just not to eat. But she wanted to go with Neji.

"Yeah, ok."

Neji stopped the smile from forming on his face. He walked to meet her on the stairs, as they made the trek down the mountain.

Neji decided to take her to her favorite lunch restaurant, but he was immediately stopped at the door, by the owner.

"Sorry sir, but this a private luncheon, it's by invitation only," he said.

Neji, just nodded, he didn't care that much as long as he was with Sakura. He turned to see Sakura gazing through the window of the establishment. He could tell something was wrong, by the haunted look in her eyes.

"Sakura?" he called attentively. She turned to look at Neji, and he knew lunch today wasn't going to happen.

"Sorry Neji, maybe some other time," she said sincerely. They fell into another silence. Again it was Sakura who murmured her goodbye.

"Excuse me, I got to go vomit," she said retreating toward her home.

Neji watched her leave, before bowing his head in disappointment. He was looked through the window to see what caused Sakura's change in attitude.

He sighed mentally. Inside was Ino, Hinata, TenTen, Temari, Ino's mother, and a host of other females. Even Lady Tsunade and Shizune was there, but at least they were off to the side clearly there as spectators for Ino's bridal shower. All of a sudden he wasn't hungry anymore.

Sakura walked back to her home, after watching the happiness that went on in the restaurant. She felt the tear gathering, but they didn't fall. She had walked into an engagement party, and almost into a bridal shower. Ino was living her dream, and it hurt. Yet, she didn't feel the intense sting of hurt as before. It didn't hurt as much, as it should have.

Okay that's the new chapter. Did I go to fast with feelings? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!