Sweating slightly under the strain of several large boxes labeled "Kombucha" and "Nori", Zuko bent slowly to stare his problem in the face; the doorknob.

In his attempt to carry the store's newest shipment downstairs into the storage refrigerator in less than 3 trips he seemed to have forgotten the necessity of the evolutionary gift known as the opposable thumb.

Balancing himself on one foot he attempted a soft kick to open the door and was met with a shudder and dull thud as his only reply. Growing desperate beneath the oppressive weight he lowered himself to his knees and stretched his mouth as wide as it would go, delicately biting down on the knob and starting to twist it open. Suddenly he became aware of it turning at an alien pace and being pulled inward, dragging him forward into the door frame and sending his boxes of dried food flying everywhere.

"Zuko?" The boy who had opened the door said, looking down at his coworker with an expression of mixed amusement and sympathy. "Sorry man, I didn't know you were there."

Prying himself painfully off the knob, Zuko wiped his mouth and grimaced, "Don't worry about it, I always thought those years of orthodontics were a waste anyway."

Chuckling Jet helped him to his feet. "Eh, you could always borrow your uncle's dentures."

"Uncle's not that old." Zuko defended, picking up one of the fallen boxes and handing it back to Jet.

"Hey come on, conspiratorial jibes at the boss are all part of being coworkers!" The boy pointed out as the boxes began to pile up in his arms. "And you, Big Mr. Manager, need to lighten up a little before you align yourself with the enemy."

Zuko smirked as he pointed to the stairs now visible beyond the open door, "Speaking of hierarchy, why don't you take those down to the walk-in refrigerator for me."

Jet, frowned. "Evil..." He said as Zuko shut the door in his face.

As the young manager moved down the aisle of organic soy milk, he could hear his friend's voice echoing up the stairs, "I FREAKING HATE IT DOWN HERE! It's like something out of Saw!"

Approaching the front of the store, Zuko noticed a short woman standing next to the large display of teas. "Do you need any help?" He asked, a half smile on his face in the best attempt at being friendly.

The smile turned into a horrified grimace as the customer turned around, revealing the wrinkled, bearded face of his mentor wearing lipstick and a sun dress.

"Yes," he said speaking in an odd falsetto, "I was wondering if you could help me reach the Jasmine tea."

Pinching the bridge of his nose to ward off what he recognized as the signs of an oncoming migrane, the teen groaned disbelievingly."Uncle... What in the hell are you doing?"

"Zuko!" Iroh scolded, voice dropping back to its normal falsetto, "How dare you speak to a customer like that? Respect the exercise, I need to know you can deal with these sort of situations when I'm not here!"

"Did you really need to wear a dress to do it?"

"Yes, my apologies on the deception, it was in the hopes you wouldn't recognize me."

"See, I get that except for the fact you didn't do anything with your beard."

Iroh puffed out his chest. "A man must always wear his proudly or not at all. Just ask Chuck Norris."

Zuko's eyes squinted in additional scrutiny, "Ok, I know you pulled that one out of your ass!"

---------------------------------------------

Twilight poured in through the large main window as Zuko punched in the security code. Though he honestly didn't mind closing up, he often wondered why his Uncle couldn't splurge on some chairs for the employees. Standing for 9 hours had worked its painful magic on his feet and he couldn't wait to get home, which along with this job was something he really owed entirely to his uncle.

Climbing into his beaten up junker of a car, Zuko thought back to the events of the last year.

On the night of his 18th birthday his father, Ozai, had finally gone too far, shifting into a drunken bully after one too many Jack Daniels. Belligerent and aggressive, the man's usual jabs cut a little too deep, especially those mentioning his mother, who'd died some years earlier. Talking back was something Ozai had never tolerated, and his heightened nerve didn't aid things. After flipping the dining room table, and giving his son a black eye, Zuko fled, not before returning the favor twice over.

Knowing that a life under his father's roof would be unlivable, Zuko had gone to stay with his Uncle. Always kind and sympathetic, Iroh had taken the boy in and given him a job, even helping him find his own apartment across town after a few months of sharing a bathroom had gotten intolerable.

Soon his younger sister had joined him in exile, though, whether this was to escape their father or to ruin his own life Zuko was unsure. He couldn't complain too badly he supposed. As much as he hated to admit it, he never could have afforded the apartment's rent on his own.

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The first thing to greet Zuko as he stepped into his apartment after a long day of work was the thud on a small throwing knife hitting the wall and inch from his nose. Understandably shaken he shouted.

"Mai! What did I tell you about practicing in the apartment? You could have killed me!"

He turned around to see his girlfriend glaring at him, golden eyes empty except for a look of rage. What caught his attention most though, were the additional knives held between her fingers.

Eyes widening, he backed up toward the wall.

"Would've, Could've, Should've" Mai growled in a low voice as three daggers pinned Zuko to the wall by his clothes, their impacts punctuating her words perfectly.

She was good.

"What the hell is going on?!" Zuko managed, mind racing to try and figure out what he could have done wrong. He hadn't missed any birthdays. No Anniversaries. He shrugged mentally despite himself, just as clueless as before.

Mai raised her other hand, clutching a skimpy red bra with black lace along the edges. "This ring any bells?" she asked sarcastically.

Zuko blinked and after a moment's pause found, in fact, that it didn't.

"Mind explaining what this was doing in your bed?! I swear to god Zuko, if it's that surfer girl on the second floor I'm going to eviscerate the both of you!"

"I swear that isn't mine!" Zuko stammered.

"That's the entire problem!" She yelled as another knife slammed next to his head, close enough to take off a stray few hairs.

"I've never seen that before!!!" Zuko screamed, his heart of hearts struggling to comprehend how he could've fallen for someone this crazy.

Staring at Mai, eyes pleading, he found no sympathy. Sweat pouring off his brow, he closed his eyes and prepared himself for pain.

"Zu-zu!" Azula called from the next room. Zuko's heart leaped into his throat. He'd never been happier to hear the little demon's voice say that damned nickname.

"Have you seen my sexy lingerie?"

Zuko's stomach audibly soured at the very thought of his sister even owning lingerie, let alone expecting him to know what had happened to it.

"How the hell should I know?!" He yelled furiously, his nerves a little raw given the whole situation.

"'Cause last time I wore it was when Sokka thought'd be kinky to fool around on your bed."

Though the next knife never came, a part of Zuko died at that instant.

There was a clatter as Mai's final shuriken fell from her grasp. Anger gone, her eyes widened at her boyfriend's current position and at the realization of her own behavior. Her cheeks burning, she lowered her head, bangs obscuring, her face and rushed to him. She gripped him in a fierce hug as her long black nails ripped the blades free from his sleeves.

She looked up at him, eyes carrying more feeling than he'd ever seen. "Zuko... I wasn't being rational, I just found that bra and I snapped... I'm sorry, I am so sorry."

Mai pressed her face into his shirt. As he stared down at the top of her head, he felt the vindictive anger that had been building in him fade. His blank expression softened as he wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin in her hair. Zuko sighed as he kissed the crown of her head.

It was difficult to stay mad at someone who hates everything but you.

Mai raised her face to look at him in the eyes and allowed herself a small smile. Zuko returned it for a moment before his face contorted into a grimace as he noticed the bra she still had slung over her wrist, a portion of one of its straps now brushing against him.

Staring at his sister's offending undergarment in his girlfriend's hands he muttered an exhausted groan. "Some things are too gross to even think about." Meeting Mai's eyes again he frowned, "We may need to burn my bed."

The girl smirked and kissed him. Hard.

"Look on the bright side," She said, lips still touching his, "We may need to get pay back."

In retrospect, Zuko reasoned, he'd had worse days.

THE END

A/N-

This is my first attempt at an Avatar fic, though I've contemplated writing one for a long while. I'm thinking this story might work as the start of a series of vaguely connected one shots in the same version of reality. Thoughts?