Chapter 7
Ranger sat down on the bench beside me and stared up at the sky.
"It's hard for me to admit the power you have over me," he began, speaking more to the sky than to me, but I understood. He didn't want to look me in the eye right then.
"I tried to deny it for some time, but after the Scrog incident, I knew that you were someone that I couldn't let get away. I do regret the hurt and confusion this caused you, Babe, but I don't regret not letting you go."
I sat quiet for a moment, uncertain of what to say. Part of me wanted to come up with something glib to lighten the moment, but another part of me just wanted the man to talk.
Ranger continued, unbidden "I told you in the past that my life doesn't lend itself to relationships, which is true to a degree. I have obligations that I need to be free of before I can truly feel comfortable committing to a relationship, but at the same time, I don't want to wait. When I read your computer, I realized that if I didn't act now, I might lose you forever. I don't want that, Babe."
I sighed out loud. He was speaking more to me than he had in months, but what he was saying was still confusing. "What does all this mean, Ranger? What is it that you really want?"
He stood up as if to walk away, but then turned back. "You, Stephanie. I want you. I want to wake up in the morning and see your face. I want to come to bed and find you there waiting for me. Babe, I want it all, but I don't know how to get there."
I thought that Ranger's confession would make it easier on me, but I was still reeling from Joe's abandonment. I couldn't figure out what I was supposed to say.
"You don't have to say anything. I understand that this has been a big shock to you. Morelli's feelings for you are strong, Stephanie. He loves you, as I do, but he realized that he can't be what you want."
"And you can," I snapped back. I don't know why I was angry. To much information to process, I guess. "Can you give me a ride back to my apartment?"
Ranger escorted me to the Turbo. We rode in silence until we arrived at my building. He came upstairs with me to check out my apartment.
"You need time, Babe. I understand that, but you also need to understand that I am not going away. I want to give us a try."
I didn't say anything. I really couldn't. I went from having a reasonable relationship with Joe to being thrust into a quasi-relationship with Ranger. This night was just too freaky. I followed Ranger back to the front door and locked it after he left without another word.
I awoke the next morning thinking that the previous night's events were all a part of a dream. Joe hadn't really dumped me and Ranger didn't really want a relationship. My life was back to normal.
There were no voice mail messages from my mother asking why I would let my last chance at marriage slip through my fingers. Proof positive, I must have dreamed the whole night.
I readied myself to stop by the bonds office. It was my turn to bring the donuts. I was ready to pay for them, standing at the counter of the Tasty Pastry, when I felt that all familiar tingle. Ranger handed over a twenty dollar bill faster than I could get my money out of my wallet. The cashier gave him his change and he escorted me out the door, his hand on my elbow as I grasped my bounty of donuts tightly.
"You didn't have to do that, Ranger. It's my turn to buy the donuts," I told him, evading looking him in the eye. What if I gave away my feelings? What about that dream?
"Babe, not a problem. I wanted to ask you out this evening," he began.
I felt like the deer in the headlight...I stopped short of my car. "Why would you do that?"
Ranger just smiled. Well, the corners of his mouth rose slightly. "I meant what I said last night, Babe."
Last night? "I dreamed last night that I talked to you, but it was just a dream. Right?"
"No, Babe, it was all real life." He moved closer, setting the box of donuts on the roof of my car. "We need to figure out what our next steps will be. I thought a date made the most sense."
I swallowed with some difficulty. A date? With Ranger? "Okay," I whispered, too choked up to anything more.
"Pick you up at 7 tonight," he told me before placing a soft kiss on my lips.
I grabbed the donuts off the roof, although I nearly forgot to do so. I had a date with Ranger. It wasn't a dream. Oh my god, that meant that Joe had broken up with me for real. My brain could not wrap itself around the concept. Why hadn't the phone been ringing? No choice, I had to call Morelli.
He answered on the second ring. "Yeah?" Morelli didn't always have the best phone manners.
"Did you dump me last night or did I dream that?"
"Steph, I didn't dump you, but we did end our relationship as we know it. We're trying to stay friends, remember?"
Hell, it wasn't a dream. It wasn't a dream. Ranger does want me. Joe wants to be my friend.
"Joe, I am so confused. When I woke up this morning and there were no messages from my mother, I figured that it was a dream."
I could hear Joe's sigh. "Steph, I visited your parents and explained how things were between us. Your father totally understood; your mother tried to change my mind. By the time I left their house, they both agreed that what was planned was for the best. That's why your mother didn't call."
This whole thing was planned? How long had this been going on?
"Steph, it was just that day," Joe explained. So I had asked those questions out loud. "I visited your parents in the late afternoon."
"Ranger called you? He asked to talk to you about me?" I was starting to put the pieces together.
"Yeah. He was really worried that you weren't going to be able to keep it together. He thought that loving us both was driving you crazy."
I considered what he said. It was basically true.
"Ranger was offering to leave town to save you the trouble, but I seriously doubt he could have done it. I knew he loved you, in his own way, but I didn't realize until yesterday that his own way is simply all the way. He's willing to take whatever you're willing to give. That's pretty special, Cupcake."
Joe was right and he was also way too calm about this.
"Steph, I have to go. I have a meeting in a few. Think about giving Manoso a break. I realize that he's probably pretty closed off, but he actually came to the station to talk to me about this yesterday. That says a lot."
I sighed. "Thanks, Joe. I try to sort it all out. I really do hope that we can stay friends, no matter what happens. You're very important to me."
"Same here, Cupcake. See you," he said and disconnected.
Ranger went to see Joe yesterday. They decided on a plan of action and executed it last night, without any word to me. I never liked it when they worked in concert. In the past it was always about who would clean me up after one of my disasters. I'm not sure I appreciated them sorting the course of my life, yet, they had made more progress then I had.
I took the donuts into the office. Lula was filing. Connie was typing on the computer. They both looked up as I set the donut box on the desk.
"You don't look too worse for wear," Lula offered.
"What does that mean?" I asked.
"Heard about your date last night. Office Hottie is backing off to give Batman some room."
Damn, this means that the whole city probably knew. Might as well confess all. "Seems that way. They made some kind of agreement behind my back. I just talked to Joe. He seems okay with it. I have a date with Ranger tonight. It's just weird. The whole thing started with my attempt to write my perfect moment."
"How did that cause the chain of events?" Connie asked.
"I tried to write it, but it just came out as a string of thought processes. Then I left the computer on and Ranger read what I wrote. He explained it all to Joe and the next thing I knew, Joe dumped me and Ranger steps in to take over."
"White girl, it's about time you both pull your heads out your asses and move this relationship along. The rest of us are getting mighty tired of waiting to see what's goin' happen next," Lula exclaimed.