The Assassination of Stewie Griffin

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Brian ran through the side walk as fast as he could.

"Stewie needs me." Brian said to himself. "Keep going Brian. You can do this." The wind blew past his face, the feeling was exhilarating, but he couldn't run for too long. He gave up and rested on the sidewalk.

"Crap." Brian panted as he checked his watch. "I won't make it... I'm so sorry Stewie." He felt a tear slide down his cheek. He turned and saw the sign for 'Starbucks Coffee' and as he scanned the cars parked in the parking lot, to his relief he saw the Griffin's car parked right in front of the door, right next to a police car. "Oh my God, that is so lucky!" Brian took out a key and went into the car. He took a deep breath, put the key into ignition and started the engine. He spotted Lois at the cash register making an order. "Don't look at the car Lois, don't look at the car." But as Lois finished saying her order she looked back and saw the car reversing out of the parking stall. "Great, you had to say it Brian..." He said to himself. Brian accelerated and made his way to the turn checking for traffic.

"Carjacker! Get him!" Brian heard Lois screaming and the sirens of a police car going off.

Brian drove out of the parking lot and sped down the lane. To his shock he saw the police car chasing him. One of two cops in the police car signaled to pull over. But he kept on going. Suddenly a red traffic light forced Brian to put on the brakes. He was trapped.

One cop got out of the car and slowly walked over to the Griffin's car. Brian anxiously looked at the traffic light but he was too late. There were cars passing right in front ohf him so it would be suicide to try to get through. Brian then heard the officer knock on the window.

Keeping his cool, Brian rolled down the window. "Is there a problem officer? Was I going too fast?"

"Yeah, Im charging you for stealing a car and speeding, and don't you dare drive away because we'll catch up with you. 350 for speeding and I'm gonna need you to show me your license..."

"Oh officer, I kinda left my wallet at home, with my driver's license in it."

"That's fine, step out of the car and come with me." As the light turned green the officer reached through the window and unlocked the door and turned on the emergency lights.

"But sir, clearly this is my car, look I have my keys in the ignition And this is an emergency, my friend is going to get shot by a CIA agent."

"Don't talk back to me now I told you to get out of the vehicle."

"Sir, my friend's just a baby, he's in danger."

"Look I don't want any trouble." The officer said as he slowly reached for the gun in his pocket. "Save that crap for the judge."

"Fine." Brian put up his hands and got out of the car.

"Now I need you to get into the police car alright? Be a good boy now."

"Yes sir..." Brian slowly walked towards the police car, but he stopped. "Say, isn't that George Clooney over there?

The officer frowned at him.

"With his pants down." Brian quickly added.

"Where?" The officer turned and looked

"Hey buddy, he's getting away!" The cop in the car said.

"Wait, I'm looking for George-- Say what?" The officer looked and saw Brian running. The officer got back in the car and chased him.

"Get back here now!" The officer yelled. He then took out a gun and fired into the air. Brian was startled and he tripped to the ground. He was put into the back seat. The officer fastened the seatbelt and put a velvet like collar over his mouth.

"This is just so you can't speak, bark or anything like that. We're obligated to do that when arresting canines." He said. "But obviously that doesn't happen to often. You're just a mischievous little troublemaker aren't you?"

Brian growled through his teeth in rage. The cop closed the door and got into the passenger's seat.

"Hey man, You know what would be cool? If we turned on the sirens and speed down to the police station. You know like we're chasing some criminal."

"You are one sexy genius. You're gonna get a big spanking tonight when we get home."

"I can't wait hunny." The officer responded. Brian quivered. Then the driver rushed down the road as they reached Spooner Street. Brian had to take a drastic measure if he were to save Stewie. He got up and climbed up on the passenger's seat. They were going too fast they didn't seem to notice Brian. As Brian gained his balance he looked out the window to see his house up ahead. Brian sighed and started peeing on the driver's lap.

"He's peeing on me!" The cop screamed and hit the brakes. Brian went flying and hit the window. The cops panicked as Brian rolled down the driver's window and started running towards the Griffin house. Brian climbed up the pipe and went on the roof. Dizzy from being slammed into the window, He saw the blue mustang and inside was a shadowy figure wiping his rifle. It was just like his premonition, except this time it was much clearer and detailed. It all started coming together.

Stewie ran out the door with a pistol in his hand, but this time he seemed to have a strange shiny red mark at the back of his neck. Brian could barely think. He knew he was supposed to do something. He couldn't remember why he was on the roof and why there was a strap tied tightly over his mouth. He tried to yell but he couldn't, just like how he saw it in his premonition.

"Where the devil are you now CIA man?" Stewie yelled in a nervous tone. He turned around with the gun pointed at the direction he was facing. "I know you're here, now show yourself and fight!"

BANG! Stewie fell on the sidewalk. as this happened Brian rememebered ewhat he was supposed to do.

Brian was shaking from the horror of what happened. He took Stewie's arm rolled up his sleeve and found a white note tucked in. Brian put the note on the ground and felt Stewie's arm. It was really cold, but not the kind of cold feeling a corpse has. It was the cold feeling of metal, like a robot. Brian picked up the note and started reading.

Dear Brian, or whoever may be reading.

By The time you read this the man who shot me would have probably driven away. I would just like you to know that this is a robotic clone I have worked on for the last few months, I have trained it to walk, hold a pistol and I've even recorded my voice to make it look more realistic. The real me is probably now on a plane going to Langley Falls, Maryland with Stan to track down the very source of this assignment, my sperm brother Bertram. Please don't ask about him it's a VERY long story. Stan will be back in a few hours. I'll be back tonight. Hopefully.

Your friend,

Stewie.

"Well that's a relief." Brian thought in his head. He reminisced in his head the things that had happened the past week. He picked up the robotic Stewie and dragged it inside, just as a speeding UPS truck passed by behind him.

"Stan you can leave me now I know my way around this place." Stewie said. "Go pick up your family."

"OK you'll be on your own now." Stan shook his hand. "Wait, have you been here before?"

"Somewhat," Stewie replied. "you'll be surprised as to how accurate virtual simulation consoles can be these days."

"OK, just get to him and try not to let anyone see you."

"Hey, before you go..."

"Yes?"

"I just wanted to say thanks. For everything."

"No, you guys let us stay in your home for a few days. I should be the one thanking you."

Stewie entered the front doors of the building quickly hid behind a plant before anyone noticed him. Through the leaves of the plant he saw two men talking.

"Hi Mr. Bullock, lovely weather today?"

"Well Terrence, it's not as lovely as yesterday, but it's still OK."

One of the two men turned around and looked at the plant.

"Lovely plant isn't it? Say, what is that?"

Stewie crossed his fingers and closed his eyes hoping it wasn't him the man was talking about, but he felt a hand pick him up by the back of his shirt. So he was staring right into the man's face.

"Well, well, well... We have a little spy here Avery! Frankly he looks familiar." The man said. The man took a deep breath and started yelling. "Who sent you? And why do you look so familiar?"

"Stan Smith sir." Stewie choked.

"Stan? Did he manage to kill that boy?" Avery asked.

Stewie coughed. "I-- Am-- That-- Boy--" The man dropped Stewie to the floor.

Stewie took out a ray gun first aiming at Avery and then to the other man. "I don't want to hurt anyone" Stewie started to make his way to the elevator across the hall still keeping his ray gun pointed at the two men who's arms were high up in the air. "I just need to know where Bertrand is, and don't you dare call for backup or security! God help you if you do!"

Terrence smiled as he reached his hand into his pocket.

Stewie shot his ray gun at Terrence. "Now tell me where Bertrand is! WHERE IS MY BROTHER?"

"Terrence! Are you OK?"

"13..." Terence whispered as he lay on the ground. "Floor 13... "

The elevator then opened and a bunch of masked men with guns stepped out.

"Where is the threat Bullock?" They asked looking at Avery and then at a seemingly lifeless Terrence. Avery pointed to the elevator, as Stewie waved at them while the doors closed.

"That was the boy Stan Smith was supposed to kill."

"Why is he here?

"I believe he's here to kill Bertrand, his brother."

"His brother? But Bertrand was the one who came up with the assignment in the first place. Oh..."

"Yeah I think we're going to need another meeting." Avery sighed. "About the Stewie griffin case and the fate of Stan Smith being an agent."

In the elevator, Stewie looked for floor 13 but there was no such button. The floor 12 button just skipped to floor 14. Then, Stewie came up with an idea. He pressed floor 14 and carefully monitored the screen which indicated what floor he was on, and what floors passed.

9...10...11...12...13... 14... The doors opened.

Stewie grinned, he pressed the 'close doors' button and pressed number 12.

14...13... The doors opened.

Stewie walked out and found a wall.

"Verification. Please Stand still, we are currently scanning your head shape. Beep. Beep. Beep. Access Granted."

The wall rose, revealing a short figure standing right in front of him.

"We meet once again Stewart." The figure said. "I've been waiting for this moment for a very long time."

"But you tried to kill me." Stewie replied. "Well you didn't kill me, you tried to get someone else to kill me and both of them failed to do so."

"Well It's time to finish the job." Bertram smiled as the wall behind Stewie closed. "I've waited in the fat man's organs and when opportunity showed, I took it. i wanted to meet you Stewart. But I guess when we did finally meet, we were nothing but sworn enemies."

"Yes, we could've been quite the duo Bertram. We could've finished Lois once and for all and taken over the world all together."

"It's too bad." Bertram said and out of his pocket he took out a remote with a button. Stewie took out his ray gun and aimed carefully.

"What is that?"Stewie started shaking. "What is it? Answer me!"

"I must say you made quite a scene in the main quarters, you killed my accomplice. You truly are my brother."

"What is that Bertram? I'll shoot! I swear to God I'll shoot!"

"Why Stewart, have you ever heard of detonators? I'm just killing two birds with one stone! I'll get revenge on you AND that wretched woman!"

"What--"

"That's right, this will detonate your home, I had Terrence plant a bomb there while you were all sleeping. That way I will kill your loved ones especially Lois. That's all I need to do to get my full revenge!"

"Wait what?" Stewie started laughing. "You've got to be kidding! I thought you were a mastermind but this? You're just doing me a favor!"

Bertram smiled then pressed the button on the remote. "Well then. That's the end of that."

"Heh." Stewie shrugged. "You know I guess I will actually miss Brian. And maybe Meg. Nah who am I kidding I won't miss Meg."

"You know Stewart, I think I've been looking at this the wrong way. Why are we trying to fight in the first place?"

"Because you tried to kill me?" Stewie said. "You know what let's just put all this behind us."

"Yeah, We have our whole lives to take over the world. Why don't we just share the glory with each other?"

"Exactly. Oh and by the way, right when you pressed that button that Mustang blew up in the parking lot. I think that Terrence forgot to plant the bomb."

Bertram frowned and rage grew in his eyes. "On the other hand nobody likes sharing. Screw it. Screw all of it!" Bertram quickly took out a pistol and shot Stewie three times in the chest.

"You're a worthy adversary Stewart. But I am the truly better one. I managed to trick the CIA into letting me in here in the first place. What have you done? You haven't even killed Lois yet. " Bertram opened and crawled through the air vents.

Stewie stood up and revealed a bullet proof vest that Stan had given him on the way to the CIA Agency.

"Those hurt like a bitch." Stewie coughed. In the surveillance screen showing the parking lot, he saw Bertram running to make an escape. "Run my brother, because soon you're little merry-go-round will be over. Enjoy it while it lasts."

Thanks for EVERYONE posting reviews for my fanfic. I finally finished. :D

Shoutouts especially to warlord-xana and snake screamer who have contributed some exceptionally cool ideas. Your feedback made the story the way it is now.

I appreciate and read all reviews so keep reading and reviewing!

And keep your eyes peeled for a sequel!