A/N: Yay! Good reviews came in, so here is the promised Act 2. I hope you like it as much as Act 1. BTW, I was watching POTO over the weekend…I hope it inspired me enough to pull this off!
Credit: "magical shoelace" bit came from LostOzian. Most of the other stuff, I made up!
Disclaimer: I do not own Phantom of the Opera…forgot to put a disclaimer in Act 1…
Act 2
Six months later
André and Firmin: Whoa! Six months, no phantom! And look…a new chandelier!
Christine: Raoul…don't show off the ring…
Raoul: But we're engaged, honey!
Christine: Shh! It's a secret! Let's dance!
Raoul: Dancing through life, down at the Ozdust Ballroom!
Audience: What is with the quoting from other musicals?
Raoul: Couldn't help myself…WICKED is playing next door and that's the part they're on right now…
Dancers: Masquerade! Look at our faces! Phantom theme plays
Christine: He's baaaack!
Phantom: Ok, so here's the scoop. You two dudes are going to perform my play. Christine is the star. End of story. Oh and Christine? I know about your little engagement. LET ME TAKE YOUR NECKLACE! Grabs chain with ring on it
Dancers and managers: Crap!
Raoul: Madame Giry, how did this Phantom come to be?
Giry: Well, you see…he's always been hideously deformed…gypsies locked him in a cage at a traveling circus…a genius, he is. Has lived in the Opera House ever since.
Raoul: No kiddin? Gosh…poor Christine…oh look, I have to go…I need more hair products!
André and Firmin: Well, this sucks. We have to perform his opera. Super-hair-dude, what shall we do?
Raoul: Well, we get the police, dummies!
Firmin: Do you think they have a copy of How to Catch a Phantom of the Opera for Dummies at the library?
Raoul: Doubt it. CALL THE POLICE!
Christine: Oh, honey, don't make me do this! Twisted Every Way, what answer can I give?
Raoul: Uh, yes?
Christine: Well…if you say so. I just don't want to end up like Carlotta…
Raoul: You mean a terrible singer who just so happens to be making out with Piangi right now?
Christine: Yeah, that. Well, the making out part, I wouldn't mind so much…
Raoul: Wha…OH! Randomly makes out with Christine
Christine: I can't sleep. Oh well, guess I'll go to my father's grave…
Phantom: That's right, my pretty. Right into my trap…I'll get you my pretty, and your little hair-obsessed boyfriend, too!
Christine: Sings really sad song about her dad dying
Phantom: Come to me…come to me…go into the liiiiiight!
Christine: No, not the light! Well, it is my Angel, after all…
Raoul: This dude isn't your daddy!
Phantom: Angst
Raoul: Yells
Christine: Breaks it up
Raoul: GET ON THE HORSE, CHRISTINE!
Christine: But I don't WANNA!
Raoul: GET ON THE DAMN HORSE ALREADY!
Phantom: Let it be war upon you both! Makes fireballs come out
Piangi: I am Don Juan!
Audience: Uh…huh…
Piangi: Use your imaginations, people!
Phantom: Now my plan shall take place…first, to get rid of Piangi…
Piangi: WHAT?!
Phantom: MAGICAL SHOELACE TIME!
Piangi: CR-AP!
Phantom: Hah! Now I'm you!
Christine: Sings my favorite line from Don Juan No thoughts within her head but thought of joy. No dreams within her heart but dreams of love…
Phantom: Well, see here, I've brought you here for one reason…
Christine: Well, you're obviously not Piangi…so, I'll play the game your way.
Police: Uhm, that isn't the fat guy from before...
Christine: Unmasks
Phantom: Damn. Now I guess I'll just have to take you and run!
Police: GET HIM!
Audience: GASP! He's deformed! He's like Elphie from WICKED!
Elphie: Zooms in from WICKED next door I HEARD THAT!
Carlotta: Piangi, my love, you have met the magic shoelace!
Random dancers: Start doing the tango He had it coming! He had it coming! He had it coming all along! If you had…
Audience: NO MORE CROSSOVER SONGS! EVEN FROM CHICAGO!
Raoul: Where is Christine being taken?
Giry: To the lake! Come with me! And remember, keep your hand at the level of your eyes!
Opera patrons: WE'RE GOING TO BECOME AN ANGRY MOB!
Phantom: Ha! You will marry me now!
Christine: I think it's your soul that's ugly, not your face. Dude, ever heard of cover-up?
Raoul: I'm here to save the day!
Phantom: Ties him in ropes
Phantom: Ok, here's the deal. She says she loves me, and you're free, and she lives with me forever. She refuses, you die. Any questions?
Raoul: Christine, don't do it!
Christine: Kisses Phantom
Phantom: WHOA! Ok…you can go…take the boat and don't tell anyone!
Christine: YAY! Let me go with Raoul so we can make out and have sex!
Raoul: YAY!
Christine: Wait ONNNE second honey….gives ring back to Phantom
Phantom: Well, guess there's only one thing to do now…IT'S OVER NOW, THE MUSIIIIIC OF THE NIIIIIIIIGHT!
Angry mob: He's gone?!
Meg: What's under this cloak? Removes cloak from chair
Meg: His mask…holds out to audience
Audience: He died? WAHH!!
Curtain call: He didn't die, idiots. He just vanished!
Audience: Ohh!
Cast: Well, you know the drill: you loved our show so much that you're going to buy souvenirs now!
Audience: YAY!
Cast: Don't forget to leave some money to pay for parking, and have a safe trip home! The exit doors are in front of and behind you. Thanks for traveling…
Audience: SHUT UP ALREADY!
So, that's pretty much it! I hope you like it as much as I loved writing it. I honestly couldn't stop with this act! Now, please, please, PLEASE review me! I read every review and PM you send me, so go ahead and send!