-1Soon We'll Be Living in the Future
It had been a week since graduation. 8 days since she slept with Spinner and 9 days since Alex had broken up with her. She sighed into the mild summer's night air and took another sip of her drink. Lots of vodka and a dash of cranberry.
She was sitting alone on the small bench at the end of Heather Sinclair's yard. Sure, no one really liked Heather but she was throwing an end of year party, who would turn that down? It's not like she had anything better to do. She quit her job at the movie theatre. She showed up for work like normal the day after graduation and that was the first time it hit her; she and Alex were over.
When it happened, it sucked, she felt like she'd been winded and then after hours sitting in the Dot she kissed Spinner because he was familiar and she was freaked. She wanted to prove that Alex hadn't meant everything. That she could go back to her life before Alex. Before her life plan went so incredibly off track.
Then there was the sexuality freak out. She'd been quick to accept her attraction to Alex, despite being sure she was straight. But she hadn't been prepared to be freaked out by her orientation. However, right now, any doubts or fears about being with another girl were insignificant in comparison to how much she missed her.
Again she sighed and finished the rest of her drink. Between the alcohol and the dark sky her mind was definitely uncensored in it's misery. She'd seen Alex at graduation and they'd hugged, shared some kind words but since then, out of that unique environment they'd only seen each other twice and both times were cripplingly awkward.
Their relationship seemed to be completely out of bounds, like this 5 month gap that couldn't be acknowledged but was looming over them all the same. Not to mention everyone else acting strange around them. They had gotten used to the morphed Palex and now spent their time tiptoeing around the subject.
So, she had decided to try and escape them all for a while. Sitting outside, far enough down the yard that the lack of lighting made her essentially invisible, she tried to remember how to breathe without that nagging feeling.
Her head snapped to the left as she heard the back door click shut. She watched someone make their way down the garden to where she was slouched on the bench. She stayed perfectly still, not even breathing, in hopes that whoever it was would just turn back around and leave her alone in the dark.
But that didn't happen. She could now see who was braving the night to interrupt her. Ellie.
The redhead stopped in front of her offering her a plastic cup. "I come bearing gifts." She said cautiously. She let out a miniscule breath of relief when Paige took the cup from her.
"Good move." Paige said as Ellie perched on the other side of the bench. If she had the energy she would feel bad about how nervous Ellie seemed about talking to her. They weren't the closest of people but they were friends, they'd been through school together, faced some pretty major events together.
"Not feeling the party vibe?" Ellie asked in an attempt to spark conversation.
Paige let out a sarcastic laugh. "I just can't seem to find Heather Sinclair's Nazi like hostess act while tweaking on too much red bull inspiring."
Ellie nodded, "Ah yes, der fuehrer is overly concerned about rings on the table and crumbs on the carpet."
Paige sipped her fresh drink. "What's your excuse?"
Ellie was silent in the face of that question. After a few moments she built up the courage to answer. "Worried about a friend. A couple of friends actually." She glanced to Paige and saw that the blonde was simply waiting for her to continue, they both understood exactly who the two friends Ellie was talking about were.
"They were probably the most likable couple I've ever been around. Sure there was sometimes an abundance of PDA's but they fit each other perfectly. Then the future came in to it and they're suddenly broken up. Only it's not like they just got sick of one another or it really wasn't working out. Know how I know this?"
Paige shook her head.
"Your both miserable. I swear I can literally see the dark cloud over your head. You're a different person since you started dating Alex, your not some cheer-bitch, I don't think you ever really were but Alex brought the real you out and you made her better too. I've seen her twice since graduation, once she was so drunk all she could do was sob, the other she was so sad she could barely lift her eyes from her coffee."
Paige could barely hold eye contact, she wanted to just be back at home, sheets over her head. "She broke up with me."
"That's irrelevant and you know it." Ellie sighed and tried to reign in the harshness in her voice. "I've known you both for a long time before you ever got together and I've watched you both grow. Alex is scared and you know that… because you are too."
Paige felt her heart beating fast in her chest but the pressure was spreading and lessening. No one had ever called her on this, not even Marco. Who would've known that it was Ellie Nash who had her all worked out.
"I am. I'm terrified but I don't understand why." She sighed and with her eyebrows knotted swivelled to further face Ellie. "Dylan came out to me when I was like 11, my parents are liberal people, I never thought liking someone of the same gender was odd but I honestly thought I was straight, then Alex comes along and my entire life, everything I had planned out, got turned upside down. Only I didn't change my plans, I just expected her to follow me. Now, she's left me because of it. I don't know how I can tell her that I've never suffered as much as this last week. I never told her I loved her or anything close to that because I was scared of how real it'd make it."
"You still have time, you don't leave for Banting for months."
"But I do leave. If she won't come with me what am I supposed to do?"
"Whatever you have to. If Alex is as important as she seems to you, you convince her to go or you make a new plan, one with her and not for her."
"Your pretty insightful, Nash." Paige said quietly, her voice betraying her.
Ellie smiled, "I'm just returning the favour. You helped me out once when I really needed it."
Paige stood up leaving her cup on the bench. Leaning down she hugged Ellie, "Thanks for this. I'm gonna go home and start planning. Wish me luck."
"luck!" Ellie called as Paige power walked out into the street. Sighing to herself she felt proud. She'd been trying to console Alex all week but the only time she let her in was the one night she showed up at her house wasted. She knew Alex well enough to see that she was just scared, scared of everything Paige meant to her and what a future with her offered. Alex had written herself off long ago but Ellie knew that that was due to her upbringing, she knows the signs.
Heading back to the party she just hoped that the couple formally known as Palex would be ok.