bChapter 16

Chapter 16
Hold it All in

Kai sat quietly against the wall of Prince Zuko's room on her futon. Prince Zuko and his Uncle were talking just outside the room in the hallway letting Kai have some time alone. It had been a half hour since the incident with Mizuki, but Kai was still paralyzed, partially from the Shirshu venom, but most from fear. The weight of the event hadn't hit Kai right away, but now that some time had passed, the fear and vulnerability she should have felt during or moments after her encounter were suddenly setting in. The young firebender's body began to shiver and tears threatened to leak from her crimson eyes, but she wouldn't let them. Kai slowly pulled her legs to her chest and buried her head in her knees. The effect of the Shirshu venom was beginning to wear off, but it still made moving difficult.

But, Kai didn't care that she could barely move. She merely sat there and silently relived those terrifying moments in boiler room in her mind. She didn't want to remember what had almost happened, but her mind continued to play that horrifying event over and over again in her head like a broken record. Again she could feel salty tears brim her crimson eyes, but she stubbornly held them back making her body tremble involuntarily. Her body almost yearned and begged Kai to cry so as to release all the tension and stress inside her, but Kai's mind refused. Instead she closed her eyes tightly and let her hands curl around the fabric of her black pant legs and held them tightly.

The door opened and Iroh entered with Zuko following him. Seeing Kai's current position, Iroh approached her slowly before sitting in front of her futon. Kai lifted her head slightly and rested her knees on her chin as she looked at Iroh who seemed to patiently wait for her to speak. However, Kai wasn't in the mood for talking.

"Are you alright?" asked Iroh in that familiar gentle tone. Kai looked at him blankly.

"I've been better, but I guess I can't complain…" she said in almost a monotone. Her crimson eyes trailed to the side and saw Zuko standing by the door looking at her with a stern yet pitying look in his eyes. Her brow furrowed slightly at the sympathetic look, but she looked away and tried to pay no mind to it.

"If it's of any consolation Dr. Shin took care of Mizuki…" assured Iroh. Suddenly, Kai's eyes flickered with interested and their crimson hues turned to look at Iroh. Zuko saw this too and he walked across the room and sat on the edge of the futon and looked at Kai.

"Yeah," he started, "He beat him up and them tossed him over the side of the ship and he said, uh, 'you can swim back to shore for all I care!' " Zuko raised his fist and shook it as he tried to imitate the doctor. Kai stared at him blankly and Zuko gave up on his impersonation act. "Anyways, you don't have to worry about him…" Kai didn't respond, instead she simply looked off to the side. Iroh sighed, seeing that she wasn't in the mood for talking.

"I'll leave you too alone for the time being. You two stay put, I will go fetch us some food. . ." And with that Iroh left the room as quietly as he came, leaving the two teens to sit in complete silence. Zuko sat cross-legged on the futon, his back to Kai, while Kai remained in her curled up position. Minutes went by and the two made no move to even look at each other, even when an attendant came into the room to set up a collapsible table for them to eat on they didn't say a word. Zuko grew weary of Kai's silence and turned around to face her, scooting closer to her.

"Hey. . ." he said quietly as he looked at her. A feeling of uneasy and discomfort spread through Kai when she saw how close Prince Zuko was. She wanted to move, but her limbs were still slightly heavy from the Shirshu venom. "Are you alright. . .?" he asked slowly. Kai didn't respond, she just pulled her legs closer to her chest. Zuko was slightly irked by this movement and he moved closer to her, unaware that she was a bit scared to be close to any man at the moment. "Hey. . . I asked you a question. . ." he growled.

"And I decided not to answer. . ." grumbled Kai as she looked away from Zuko. Suddenly, Zuko's arm shot out and reached for Kai's face wanting to make Kai look at him. Kai felt his hand touch her cheek and her arm flew out in defense and she smacked his hand away fearfully, "Don't touch me!" she said in a somewhat shout. It wasn't like her normal shouts though, this time her voice was filled with fear. Zuko scowled and scolded himself inwardly before turning his back on Kai.

"I'm sorry. . ." he apologized quietly. And that was all he said to Kai until Uncle Iroh came back into the room with several attendants who carried three trays of warm food.

Kai, Iroh, and Prince Zuko ate in silence. Occasionally, Iroh tried to crack a joke here and there to lighten the mood, but failed. Neither Kai nor Zuko felt like laughing or talking. And so the night passed on with silence and before Kai knew it, the lights went out and she and Prince Zuko went to sleep. However, Kai tossed and turned in her sleep, plagued by nightmares for the entire night.

She stood in the center of a burning village, the cries to dying people echoed through her mind. Kai's limbs trembled and she collapsed on the ground that was steeped in blood. She held her trembling arms as the dying groans slowly silenced. The silence by far was the worst part. It was almost maddening, knowing that none of those voices would be heard again. The thought plagued Kai's mind and she began to cry. She brought her hands to her face to stop the river of tears that flowed down her cheeks, but something stung her eyes. Kai quickly pulled her hands away from her face, but when she looked down at one hand she saw that her hand was covered in fresh blood and in the other there was a bloody sword. Kai tossed the sword away in horror and disgust and tried to wipe the crimson red liquid off on her clothing. However, much to Kai's horror her clothes were also covered, no, soaked in warm blood. The horror struck firebender opened her mouth to scream, but instead with sat up in the futon, her forehead beaded with sweat.

Kai's chest heaved as she panted and gasped for air. Goosebumps ran up and down her arms and she shivered as moments of the dream flashed through her memory.

"Kai, you're awake!" exclaimed a voice accompanied by the sound of a door closing. Kai jumped up at the sound and pressed her back against the wall as she held her hands up which were engulfed in fire, ready to attack. "Easy there! It's just me!" it was the doctor. He stood on the other side of the room, opposite of Kai, his hands up in the air in an "I surrender" sort of gesture. Kai relaxed and let her body slide down the wall and to the futon.

"What do you want. . .?" she sighed putting her hand to her forehead, wiping away the sweat.

"I just wanted to check up on you," he said quietly as he walked over the futon. He stopped and sat a foot away from the futon then looked at Kai through his glasses. "So. . ." he started, "how are you feeling?" His normally grinning face softened into a face filled with worry and pity. Kai felt her guts twisted inside of her. She hated it when people gave her that look.

"I'm fine. . ." she grumbled, looking down at her lap.

"Look, you don't have to hide anything . . . it's normal to feel scared after something like that. . ." he said gently. Kai said nothing; she just stared blankly at her lap. Shin sighed at her silence before saying, "And if it's any consolation, I beat up Mizuki for you before I threw him overboard." Dr. Shin chuckled a bit, hoping that the news would cheer Kai up. However, it didn't.

"Why?" she asked quietly.

"What do you mean 'why'? Why wouldn't I?!" he exclaimed, "The bastard, deserved it for what he did to you!"

"You didn't need to go through that trouble, I'm not worth it . . ." sighed Kai as she pulled her legs to her chest.

"What do you mean by that? Are you saying that you're not worth protecting or defending, but you are worth of being. . . being. . ." Dr. Shin couldn't bring himself to finish his sentence. Kai looked at him, eyes filled with curiosity. Why was this man so kind to her and why did he always seem to be looking out for her?

"How do you even know that I'm worth protecting?" Kai's voice started to get louder, "You don't even know who I am!" she exclaimed, getting up and standing on the futon. The doctor looked up at her sadly from where he sat on the floor before looking down.

"Kai, trust me. . . I do think you're worth protecting and I know more about you than you probably thin-" Before Dr. Shin could finish his sentence Iroh opened the door and stepped in.

"Good morning, Kai. . ." he said in his normally gentle and calm manner. He and the doctor talked for a while and discussed something that Kai wasn't particularly interested in. She grew bored and quietly slipped out of the room. She felt a little safer wandering around the ship alone now that Mizuki was gone, but there was a lingering fear that he would jump out of the shadows and attack her. Again, the scene of what happened in the boiler room flashed through her mind, making her shudder. Kai managed to find her way to the door that lead to deck. She pushed at the heavy metal door and stepped outside. As she looked around at the blue skies, white clouds, and deep blue seas, she felt a sense of relief wash over her. She held her bandaged arms out in front of her and stretched, getting rid of the last of the stiffness in her body.

"You're awake. . ." said Prince Zuko. Kai looked in the direction from where she heard Zuko's voice and saw him walking towards her and from the looks of it, he was in the middle of training before she arrived. "How are you feeling. . .?" he asked in an unsure tone.

"Better. . ." she mumbled with a shrug of her shoulders.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah," she lied. As she and Zuko made idle small talk, memories of what happened in the boiler room and her nightmare flooded her mind. It grew to a point where Kai's body began to shake slightly. The young girl could feel tears welling in her eyes, but she stubbornly held them back. Zuko noticed her slight trembling.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah," said Kai quickly, "I'm fine. . . uh, hey Zuko, can I ask a favor of you?" Zuko nodded. "Will you spar with me? I need a distraction right now." The banished prince looked down at Kai with a confused look on his face.

"You want me. . . to spar with you, as a distraction?" he said.

"Yeah," Kai was growing irritated and her trembling grew worse.

"Why?"

"I said I need a distraction. . ." Kai clenched her teeth. If she didn't get into a fight with Zuko soon, she would become overwhelmed and start crying in front of him.

"But, ho-?"

"JUST FIGHT ME!!" roared Kai as she punched out in front of her sending Zuko flying back several feet. Prince Zuko slowly pushed himself off the deck and looked at Kai bewildered. Kai's eyes were hard and focused as she stared down Zuko. She was serious.

"Okay then fine!"

Author's Note:

Yeah… I come back, have one good chapter, but then come back with another filler chapter headesk I swear next one will be better!

Oh and sorry about any typos of the sort, my brain's on the fritz

Stick around,
-BeauifullyAbstract