Written as a school assignment for my Rhetoric class. I had way too much fun with this one.

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Once upon a morning early, as I read, tired and surly

Over many a long and boring website of anatomy

As I yawned, nearly sleeping, suddenly there came a cheeping

As of my computer beeping, beeping quite incessantly

"An error message," I mumbled, "cheeping quite incessantly –

It is only that, you see.

Oh, of course I recall it was in the early fall

And each student wished for summer, wanted summer desperately

Eagerly we looked to Christmas; waiting for an off day's bliss

Nostalgically we would wish, wish for summer heavenly–

For that fun and radiant period that students call "heavenly–"

Never 'gain mentioned by me.

As the noise increased in volume, angrily I began to fume

Why must interruption loom on morn that began productively?

"Surely," said I, "surely that is something in my Windows Office;

Let me see, then, what program is making this ruckus at me–"

I closed all the programs on my desktop I could see–

The sound went on indifferently.

Then I clicked a website link, which loaded ere I had time to blink

A text box filled my vision with script written elegantly

No smallest title of intent; not a description of content

But, beginning every paragraph, a short word foreign to me--

Inventio, and others entirely foreign to me–

Knowledge I lacked sorely.

Then this black text beguiling my curiosity into smiling,

Pages of new information my eyes devoured eagerly

Inventio- the art of minding any way you could be finding

Arguments that would be binding with proofs universally–

Invention of arguments for topics universally–

Quoth the site, "Discovery."

Next is Dispositio, so beloved of Cicero

Methods of organizing that really are necessary

Balanced between form and content, diction chosen for ornament,

Elocutio seems evident, but I struggled perplexedly–

To understand these concepts, my mind struggled perplexedly–

Quote the site, "Arrange and speak properly."

Memoria, helpful device for recalling words you have in store

Perhaps pneumonic or "building" a house, more creatively

The speech you make has a flow made by the rooms of speech in which you go

The last, Pronuntiatio, is all about delivery–

Culturally effective gestures and vocal quality–

Quoth the site, "Memory and Delivery."

"Be those words our sign of parting, foul website!" I shrieked, upstarting–

"Get thee back into the darkness of broadband immediately!

I go only to public school, I should not have to know these rules

What education teaches these tools? How would I know previously?

Even now, I study hard- but how would I know previously?

Quoth the web site, "Classically."

And the website, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting

On the monitor of my computer quite implacably

The site shall ever be my foe, I blame it for my sorrow, though

I ne'er went to school name deleted to learn to speak rhetorically

My spirit in this lack of knowledge sinks low dejectedly

There remaining- permanently!

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Sorry, public school kids. What do you think?