Chichi the Warrior
Written By: Jumper Prime
For disclaimers see prologue.
Chapter 4: Training in the Afterlife
Goku and Chichi stood on King Kai's little planet, facing the short, blue man himself.
You mean you're King Kai? Goku blinked, surprised that he'd been so wrong When did you get here?
I'd say about a thousand years ago. King Kai answered with a straight face
Both Goku and Chichi were shocked by this casual declaration
Yeah, that's right.
Wow. Uh...
I guess that makes you pretty old, huh? Chichi said in a shocked but serious tone
Better to be pretty old than ugly old. Get it? King Kai laughed at his own joke. Goku and Chichi each could only blink in stunned silence Hey, not too bad, huh? I'm in the zone today. I can feel it. You can laugh you know.
Uhhh, no thanks. Goku answered. Chichi covered her face in embarrassment at her husband's lack of tact
... A tough crowd. So you want some more, do ya? Well let's see. My uncle is so large, when he sits around the house, he sits AROUND the house. Goku and Chichi could only stare, and Chichi was starting to wonder if this guy really was King Kai as he raised his right arm out in front of him. RRRING! RRRING! King Kai imitated a telephone then pantomimed picking one up Yes hello? he spoke into the imaginary telephone You don't say. AHH! You don't say. Oh my gosh.
Who're you talking to? Goku asked as King Kai got a fit of the giggles
He didn't say! Thank you very much! Well, I just flew in from Snake Way, and boy are my arms tired! HA! Now that's comedy!
Chichi tried and failed to get a word in edgewise when suddenly King Kai calmed down
OK, I guess you didn't enjoy my act, did ya?
Excuse us King Kai, Chichi said as she and Goku bent over slightly, palms together in front of them We came to train, if you'll teach us.
King Kai responded angrily My foot! How could you train!? You wouldn't recognize a good joke if it came up and bit you! King Kai made a face and turned his back on Goku and Chichi Forget it!! I won't train anyone with no sense of humor!
Huh? Goku blinked then got the idea, breaking into laughter with Chichi only a beat behind Oh! Are my arms tired! That's hilarious!
He didn't say! Chichi laughed Talk about a gut buster!
You're too much, King Kai!
King Kai smiled as he turned back around On second thought. I guess I could train you.
Oh wow! You really mean it?
Of course!
Thank you King Kai. Chichi smiled
But first, you must each pass a test.
Sure! Anything! Goku replied enthusiastically
Bring it on! Chichi agreed
Alright then. King Kai's sunglasses glinted Make me laugh, and you're in.
Chichi and Goku both looked like someone had slapped them in the face with a fish
What? Surely you have a good joke or two, huh, but it has to be a funny one for it to count.
But we can't do that! Goku exclaimed
Hey, don't get all pent up. Staying loose is the key! You can ruin a good joke if your delivery's off... Well? I'm waiting.
Goku and Chichi were both sweating as they struggled to think of some funny jokes
Well? Having trouble are we? King Kai asked impatiently Just get up and go then!
Goku haltingly started Did the chicken cross the road? IT WAS TOO FAR TO FLY!
Nope. Bad delivery. Try again. King Kai's serious face suddenly collapsed as he covered his mouth in a futile attempt to stifle some giggles
Goku grinned as he saw his joke had had an effect It was... TOO FAR TO FLY! Goku repeated the punchline and King Kai's giggles increased
Why can't a leopard change its spots? Chichi started a joke her father liked Because fur's too expensive for it to keep a spare coat around! King Kai's giggles increased further after Chichi told the punchline
What's the difference between a jeweler and a jailer? One sells watches, one watches cells!
What do you call it when a French bakery explodes? Napoleon blown apart!
At that point, King Kai broke down into a full blown case of laughter, banging the ground with his fist.
We did it, Chichi! Goku smiled Right on! We made King Kai laugh! Husband and wife shared a high five as their new sensei fell on his back, laughing with no end in sight Somebody stop me!
Hey King Kai! Chichi called Looks like you've fallen and you can't get up!
King Kai had lost all semblance of self-control by this point and laughed non-stop for several minutes with no further jokes from Goku and Chichi. Finally, King Kai managed to quell his laughter and got to his feet
Oh my my my. King Kai, wiped his eyes with his handkerchief OK kids, you're in! When I get through with you, you'll have no equal in the art of delivering a punchline. You'll be the prince and princess of puns. How does that grab you? Both Goku's and Chichi's jaws dropped
But, we thought you knew... Goku said
We came for martial arts training. Chichi finished
You did? King Kai's tone held genuine surprise Shame on you! You should've told me earlier! Now, show me what you've got. King Kai got into a fighting stance Don't hold back, I'm stronger than I look.
Goku and Chichi both got into fighting stances, but found it difficult to move due to the heavy gravity. King Kai noticed their discomfort.
It's this place, Goku answered The gravity here...
We just can't seem to get used to it. Chichi finished
I see. King Kai said after a moment I guess you're both from Earth. Well? Am I right?
Yes, that's it.
Ah! That explains it. I'm surprised that you're even up and walking around. This planet is very small, and the gravity is so severe. I'd say your bodies weigh at least ten times more here than they did on Earth. Go ahead, try a jump, as high as you can.
Goku and Chichi both crouched down and jumped, their leaps both topping out with their feet at a height just above the roof of King Kai's house. They then plummeted back to the ground, landing hard on their feet. Goku fell over onto his butt while Chichi flailed around for a few seconds before unwillingly copying his motion.
Oh man! Goku sighed
God, I feel so embarrassed. Chichi groaned *I was able to jump higher than that when I was fourteen.*
Neither realized that they had jumped quite high for someone in ten times their native gravity. A piece of information that King Kai was well aware of.
Alright then! Let's begin the training. King Kai announced How long do you two plan on staying here?
Well, for as long as possible. Goku answered But we're not really sure how much time is left. You see, it's like this: There's some guys, really evil guys called Saiyan warriors, and they're on their way to Earth to take it over.
That's why we have to get strong enough to stop them. Chichi continued Our son is there!
The Saiyans, huh? King Kai nodded That's awful. They're a ruthless people. Hmmm. Let me see. King Kai's antennae shifted from being swept back to dangling out in front of his face We need to find out for sure what day they're gonna get to your planet... Let's see now... Ah yes, there they are. Two of them. Hmmm. I'm afraid they don't come any stronger than these particular two. Oh boy. Goodness, are you in a pickle. Now let's see. At their current rate of speed, they should arrive on Earth in approximately 102 days.
Goku asked You can tell that?
That's amazing! Chichi exclaimed
No, you're amazing, sweetheart. King Kai spoke in a voice more suited to Humphrey Bogart. He then continued in his normal voice. Now THAT'S good! King Kai began giggling again. He stopped when he realized neither Goku nor Chichi were laughing with him and turned to walk a little bit away from them Forget about the training. What's the use? Goku and Chichi suddenly burst out into laughter, causing King Kai to turn back towards them with a smile on his face.
That's good. Goku laughed
Yeah, but we've only got 102 days to prepare for the Saiyans, Chichi said And that's far from good.
Aw, I think 102 days should be plenty of time. King Kai disagreed Training under me, on this planet, nonstop, for 102 days is equivalent to training for several thousand years on Earth.
Wow! That's great! Goku was as ecstatic as his wife
There is one thing though. King Kai said solemnly Just because you train, doesn't mean you can win. The two Saiyans that are on their way to Earth rank among the greatest fighters in the entire universe. Those particular two, well, they're even stronger than me.
Stronger than you?! Chichi was stunned That means-
That means that in order for you to beat them, you're going to have to become stronger than me. King Kai unceremoniously announced But that doesn't scare you too bad, does it? Goku and Chichi were silent, stunned as they were by the revelation Good! Well, I say we get started. BUBBLES! Over here! The monkey from earlier now came up over the hill Bubbles is used to the extreme gravity here. I want you two to try to catch him.
THAT'S our training!? Chichi almost yelled To catch that stupid monkey!?
Right! Until you can move around that easily, you're not ready to start anything.
Goku sighed Well, we'll try.
Go now, Bubbles, run away.
Bubbles started running while Goku and Chichi trudged after him. The husband and wife found they were not able to run fast at all in the heavy gravity and Bubbles quickly left them in the dust.
Get back here you stupid monkey! Chichi yelled angrily
Goku's and Chichi's feet felt like they were made of lead, and their weighted clothing wasn't helping. Chichi tripped over the edge of the narrow roadway that circled the planet and sprawled on the paved surface with a yelp of pain. Goku continued moving but didn't get much farther than his wife before going down to one knee on the grass.
Man, this hurts. Goku muttered
Goku realized it would be easier to catch Bubbles without his weighted clothing and so he started removing his weighted shirt.
This oughta help. he muttered to himself as he pulled his shirt off, dropping it to the ground with a louder thud than usual
Good idea, Goku! Chichi smiled, seeing what her husband was doing.
While Goku worked on getting off his boots, Chichi slipped off her heavy bracelets and dropped them to the ground, both producing thuds as they hit. Next to go was her weighted shawl, then she went to work on her boots.
King Kai said to himself as he watched from a distance They've already been using equipment to make themselves heavier.
I'm gonna get you, you little ape. Goku giggled as he stood up, having divested himself of his weighted equipment
Not if I get him first. Chichi declared as she also stood up, her boots laying on the ground
Here we come! Goku called to Bubbles as he and Chichi both started running after the monkey much faster than before.
I've got you now, you stupid monkey! Chichi yelled as she closed on Bubbles, Goku right beside her.
As Goku and Chichi reached for Bubbles, the monkey suddenly zoomed away even faster than before, his legs blurring as they moved extremely fast. Bubbles came to a stop a good distance away and jumped around, apparently taunting the couple as they came to a stop and collapsed near the road.
Aw man, he's got overdrive. Goku groaned
I don't believe it. Chichi shook her head in shock
Fooled you, huh? King Kai laughed as he walked up
He's a little motor. Goku declared
Goku, I'm not sure if I can catch him. Chichi admitted
I'm not sure if I can catch him, either.
You're both welcome to go home, if you want. King Kai announced
Chichi was about to give a bitter rebuke when Goku's belly rumbled loudly. Chichi's belly rumbled a bit, as well, a moment later.
Oh boy... Goku said in an embarrassed tone Come to think of it, we haven't eaten since we left Princess Snake's. Uhhh, would it be OK if we ate before we continued?
Well, I guess... King Kai answered
I can cook, Chichi volunteered And Goku can do the dishes.
Sounds reasonable.
After resting on the ground for another minute, Goku and Chichi got up and walked to King Kai's house, their new sensei walking with them. Chichi started cooking in King Kai's small kitchen while Goku sat outside and King Kai watched her cook. King Kai watched, partly to judge her adaptation to the gravity and partly to make sure she didn't wreck his kitchen. The usual chore of cooking a meal large enough to satisfy Goku was made more difficult by the heavy gravity, but Chichi managed to cook the usual quantities, though she had difficulty lifting the fully loaded cookware and found herself setting pots down harder than she intended. Fortunately, everything in King Kai's house was designed to hold up in heavy gravity and so nothing was damaged by the rough handling.
Don't you think you're making a bit much for the three of us? King Kai asked when he noticed how much food she was making
You don't know Goku's stomach. Chichi answered as she continued to cook After this batch is done, I'm gonna have to make another, smaller batch, just for you and me.
He eats that much? Does he eat so much at every meal, or just when he hasn't eaten for a while?
Every meal. If it weren't for the fact that my Dad's rich and Goku was the last winner of the Tenkaichi Budokai, not to mention Goku's daily hunting, we'd go broke paying the food bills alone. Our son Gohan's got a healthy appetite too, for a boy his age. I just hope I'll get the chance to cook for him again in the future.
Hmm. I better call the grocery store and order some more food or the pantry'll be bare in no time flat.
Chichi eventually finished cooking and King Kai helped her ferry the massive amount of food out to Goku. Despite Chichi's warning, King Kai was still stunned by Goku's appetite and the speed with which he ate. King Kai and Chichi ate at a more sedate pace and King Kai hummed approvingly as he savored his food.
Yum! This is delicious! he declared You're an excellent cook, Chichi. Too bad you'll be leaving in just a few months, I could get used to cooking like this.
I'm just worried about taking too much time out of my training to cook. Chichi said It wasn't all that big an issue when things were quiet on Earth, but now, with the Saiyans on the way...
Oh, don't worry too much. Considering the fact that the gravity here is ten times that of Earth, the chore of cooking alone should count as light exercise for you, especially with the weight of food Goku consumes.
And don't forget, Chichi, Goku mumbled around a few mouthfuls of food Your weights'll help you keep up, too.
What's this?
Well, back before Radditz showed up, Chichi answered I did all the cleaning and cooking around the house, so I had less time to train than Goku. He came up with an idea that would help me keep up with him. My weights are a little heavier than his, which helps me keep up with him a little better than I would if our weights were equal.
Hmm. Interesting. King Kai had a thoughtful look on his face as Goku have a loud burp
Goku sighed contentedly That was good. King Kai, I think I'm ready to get started again.
Me too, Chichi agreed as she put aside her plate If it's alright with you, that is.
You heard them Bubbles, King Kai turned to his pet monkey Get going. Gosh, Bubbles hasn't been this excited in a long time. King Kai grinned as Bubbles started moving He's gonna be hard to catch. Well, shake a leg! Well, you heard me, catch Bubbles, or you'll never get to receive martial arts training from me!
Yes sir, King Kai! We'll do our best. Goku responded as he adjusted his belt
That monkey's days are numbered! Chichi added with conviction as she and Goku started to run after Bubbles
Oh, one more thing. King Kai said, causing Goku and Chichi to stop immediately Those heavy clothes and shoes that you took off, put them back on. That will be more effective.
Chichi squawked
Holy cow, it's twice as hard to run with that stuff on! Goku complained
King Kai grinned The harder the better. You know the Saiyans' planet has the same gravity as mine.
Wow! You're kidding!
No, and they always train with weights as well. Goku and Chichi's faces conveyed shock as King Kai delivered his explanation So now you understand, it's one of the great secrets to their power. Unfortunately, that's not even the root of their power. You see, the Saiyans are born with the unique ability to fight. It's like a sixth sense, it's in their blood.
Well don't worry, I'm a Saiyan too. Bye! Goku grinned as he turned to run after Bubbles
King Kai turned towards the departing Goku, a little shocked by his declaration. The catfish-like god turned to Chichi, who was still standing there, processing the information King Kai had just imparted to them. What about you? Are you also a Saiyan?
Not as far as I know. Chichi responded after a moment But I've been able to keep up with Goku for a while now, and since he's a Saiyan, I think I should be able to go head to head with another Saiyan or two. If you'll excuse me, I've got a smelly ape to catch.
Chichi turned and walked over to where she had left her weighted clothing. She put the boots, bracelets, and shawl back on with some trepidation and a little effort. Chichi stood up and faced towards the sound of Bubbles' gibbering, coming from just over the horizon, and started to run towards it. Goku and Chichi chased Bubbles all over the little planet that day, but they didn't even come close to catching him, nor did they the next. The chase lasted days, with Goku and Chichi only stopping to eat and sleep and, in Chichi's case, cook meals. One might think that because Chichi spent less time than Goku chasing Bubbles, that she was falling far behind her husband. One would be wrong.
Each day, while Goku and Chichi were chasing Bubbles, King Kai would minutely increase the weight of the mixing bowls, pots, pans, and other cooking utensils. This was done without Chichi's knowledge and the net result was that, even as Chichi grew stronger, the act of cooking itself counted as exercise for her. Goku was indeed widening the gap, but only slowly.
The couple got a little closer to catching Bubbles each day, and both were growing stronger with each passing day, without even realizing it. Ten days after their arrival on King Kai's little planet, Goku and Chichi were, as usual, chasing Bubbles. They were both hot on the monkey's heels, Goku slightly ahead of his wife. After a bit of tree climbing which ended with branches breaking off in Goku and Chichi's hands, they were after Bubbles again. Chichi put everything she had into chasing Bubbles, but found herself unable to close the gap as the monkey's legs were a continuous blur. She didn't even notice Goku had dropped out of the pursuit until she saw him coming from directly ahead.
Bubbles let out a shriek of animalistic surprise as he saw Goku charging towards him from in front while Chichi bore down on him from behind. Thinking quickly, the ape took off at a right angle to his previous course. Goku and Chichi almost crashed into each other chasing Bubbles, but were able to avoid a collision. This time, when Goku reversed course, Chichi noticed.
*What's he doing?* she wondered before returning her full attention to the chase
As Chichi and Bubbles approached King Kai's house, Goku popped out from behind the structure right in front of Bubbles. The monkey shrieked and dashed off in a new direction. Again Goku chased along with Chichi for a few seconds, but then broke off the pursuit.
*Now I get it!* Chichi realized what Goku was doing *Since this planet is so small, he can go a whole different direction and still intercept that stupid ape. There's something to try... After... I... Rest.*
Chichi slowed to a stop in front of King Kai's house and then collapsed on the grass, completely exhausted from the prolonged chase.
You looked like you were getting close this time. King Kai commented as he watched Goku continue to chase Bubbles
Goku's strategy might get him the win today. Chichi said in a tired voice as she raised her head to watch part of the chase
The win?
Me and Goku have a little bet as to who would catch Bubbles first.
What will he win?
Just bragging rights, but I really thought that, even with my heavier weights, I could win.
Well, don't look now, but it looks like Goku's having sport with Bubbles.
Indeed, Goku seemed to be playing with Bubbles, taunting him several times before finally chasing him down and catching him with a diving grab. Chichi smiled as Goku danced around, holding the monkey in his arms and jumping high with him before landing on his feet.
He did it. Chichi whispered to herself while King Kai looked on proudly
Hey King Kai, Goku said as he walked up to them I'm ready to start the next training.
I see. Remarkable. King Kai commented Yes indeed. Excellent work.
You were amazing Goku! That stupid monkey couldn't get away from you!
Your performance was very STIRRING. King Kai said as he made a stirring motion with his hands, then broke out into a fit of the giggles. Meanwhile, Bubbles had decided to kiss Goku on the lips
Goku spit a little after removing Bubbles from his face Now I know what it's like to be kissed by a sweaty little ape.
Is he a better kisser than me, Goku? Chichi teased
Uh, no. You're a lots better kisser than him, Chichi. Uhh, no offense Bubbles.
Bubbles gibbered in response as he moved onto Goku's back.
Well, shall we proceed? King Kai asked Your next training is difficult.
Well, OK. I'll do my best. Goku answered
Chichi, you rest a bit more and pay attention. Once you also catch Bubbles, you'll need to do the same and it'll save time if I only have to explain this once.
King Kai inhaled deeply and then let out a very loud yell right in Goku's face. The force of the yell was enough to require Goku to exert effort to not be blown away. The force was also great enough to temporarily part the grass in its path.
What did you do? Goku asked as King Kai turned around and seemed to be peering into the distance.
I yelled at the top of my lungs. King Kai answered with complete seriousness
Why did you yell, King Kai? Chichi asked
You'll see. King Kai answered cryptically
A moment later, Goku and Chichi began to hear King Kai's yell again from far off, immediately followed by the hurricane force yell blowing past both Goku and King Kai. The yell had traveled completely around the little planet and past its origin point.
Now that's REALLY a long-distance call! King Kai joked as the yell dissipated into the distance, once again, then laughed uncontrollably Don't you get it?
This guy is the ultimate martial-arts master? Goku muttered to himself
I HEARD THAT! A high pitched voice suddenly shouted from above and a bright light slammed into Goku, knocking him to the ground next to Chichi
What is that? Chichi wondered
I'm not a that, you lunkhead! the high-pitched voice came from the ball of light, right before it dissipated to review a small figure sitting in midair in front of Goku and Chichi
Goku said as he gazed in wonder at the new arrival A little grasshopper man.
What!? You jerk!
A little grasshopper man! King Kai repeated as he started to laugh
Be quiet! You're full of insults! Who do you think you are!? I happen to be King Kai's foremost attendant, the great Gregory!
Both Goku and Chichi were dumbfounded by Gregory's arrival
Gregory! The peerless martial-arts master with no equal! Besides King Kai. Gregory turned to point at King Kai, but sweatdropped as he saw his mentor laughing uncontrollably
Your ego is peerless. King Kai laughed
Well, excuse me! I AM really great. Now what's the big idea!? You don't think King Kai's for real!?
Well, his methods kind of bug us. Chichi said as she and Goku stood up, her utterance triggering a fresh round of laughter from King Kai
That's good. BUG us. I wish I'd thought of that. King Kai said between laughs
King Kai, this is no time for laughter! Gregory admonished King Kai, please!
Alright then, King Kai suddenly stopped laughing and became serious again Let's proceed. Goku, Chichi, meet Gregory. Goku, he's your next test. In your case, Chichi, he will be your next test, after you catch Bubbles.
Eh? This egomaniac!? Chichi questioned
I am not an egomaniac! Gregory argued But I WILL be your next test! Don't act so surprised!
But King Kai, we thought you were gonna train us personally. Goku protested
You'll take on just about anyone, nowadays, won't you? Gregory faced King Kai How do you expect me to put up with trainees like this who don't know the first thing about decorum and respect!?
You'll manage. King Kai answered Now, let's get started. King Kai raised his hand and a large blue mallet appeared in it
What's that for? Goku asked
That's big, Kai. Are you sure you're not overdoing it, sir? Gregory asked nervously
No, it's fine. King Kai answered Here Goku, think fast. King Kai lofted the mallet through the air to Goku, who caught it but was unable to arrest its downward movement before the mallet's head thudded into the ground How's that? Heavy enough?
Gregory laughed as Goku used all his strength to lift the heavy mallet off the ground.
Your next training is to knock Gregory down using the hammer I just gave you. King Kai instructed
This thing? Goku asked as he looked from the hammer to Gregory and back again
And then, if you succeed, you'll start training under me, directly.
Wow! Alright!
Ha! Don't get your hopes up, buddy boy. Gregory said He said IF you succeed. Gregory then flew up as high as the top of the nearby tree OK, get ready now! Gregory gathered his Ki, becoming surrounded in a bright aura while Goku hefted his hammer as best he could Alright! Here I come!
Gregory flew at Goku, bowling him over and sending him to the ground
Wow! Goku exclaimed What speed!
Chichi frowned as Gregory flew back at Goku to strike him across the face.
Why that little- Chichi grumbled as she saw the unsportsmanlike treatment Gregory was giving her husband but was interrupted by King Kai
You look well rested, Chichi. he commented If I were you, I'd start trying to catch Bubbles again, before Goku gets even farther ahead of you.
You heard him, you stupid ape! Chichi barked at Bubbles Get moving so I can catch you!
Bubbles gibbered and started running, immediately followed by Chichi, while King Kai quietly chuckled to himself. Meanwhile, Goku chased after Gregory, swinging his hammer, incidentally making holes in the ground, road, and accidentally smashing up King Kai's car. Chichi had several close calls with Goku almost hitting her with his hammer before King Kai ordered Gregory to keep Bubbles and Chichi out of his flight path. After several more hours, King Kai called Chichi in from chasing Bubbles.
Chichi, it's time to start cooking dinner! King Kai called
What? Already? Chichi panted as she slowed to a halt
Unless you want me to try to cook enough to feed that bottomless pit you call a husband. My cooking's nowhere near as good as yours, though.
Well, I could use a rest anyway.
Chichi walked into the house and started cooking. As she did, she noticed that the pots, pans, and other cooking utensils were once again heavier than they had been the day before. Chichi had begun to suspect something was going on without her knowledge. As King Kai helped out by chopping vegetables, he decided to satisfy his curiosity about his new trainees.
Chichi, if you don't mind my asking, did you and Goku have a big wedding? he asked
If you call the 23rd Tenkaichi Budokai big. Chichi answered as she dumped a load of meat into a pot
The Tenkaichi Budokai? That's a martial-arts tournament, not a wedding program.
My mother was an Amazon, so for me, it's the same thing. Let me quote a passage to you from Amazon law, the one which was my favorite from the very day I first met Goku. For an engaged couple, the woman an Amazon, defeat of the Amazon by the male in fair combat marks the commencement of the marriage proper, so long as both parties consent.'
So when Goku defeated you in your quarter-final match, you two became husband and wife in the eyes of your tribe.
Not quite, first he- Waitasec. How'd you know when in the tournament me and Goku fought?
I make it a point to watch all the major fighting tournaments on the planets in my quadrant. I get great reception up here.
Oh. Well anyway, after Goku beat me, he still had to consent to the wedding, which he did after I told him who I was.
He didn't recognize you and you still wanted to marry him?
I can't really blame him. It'd been six years since the last time we'd seen each other. I was just a little girl back then and the next time he saw me, I was a full grown woman.
Ah, I see. You must've made quite the impressions on each other to still want to get married after six years with no contact.
Our love was destined to be. I knew I loved him from the first moment I saw him.
Alright, everything's cooking. Chichi said as she took off her apron If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go get that stupid ape of yours.
Good luck.
Chichi went back outside and started chasing Bubbles again while Goku continued to try to hit Gregory with his hammer. King Kai watched them chase his assistants until he heard the kitchen timer go off.
he yelled and everyone came to an abrupt stop It's break time! Dinner!
Everyone came inside King Kai's house, Goku putting his hammer down on the ground outside before he entered. Chichi served the food to Bubbles, Gregory, and Goku, putting a massive portion in front of Goku, before settling down to eat her own modest meal. While everyone else ate, King Kai watered his plants.
You worked up an appetite, didn't you? the martial-arts commented as he noticed how much and how fast Goku was eating
Boy oh boy. Goku responded between bites Did I ever.
Does it slow him down? Gregory asked
No, it just makes him faster. King Kai answered as he walked past the table And he doesn't even have to digest.
You don't say.
The Saiyans are remarkably fast, though. King Kai turned to look at Goku and Chichi Neither of you are there, not yet.
The Saiyans?! Goku stood up from the table sharply, his food forgotten at the mention of his and Chichi's future opponents.
Do you really know about the Saiyans, King Kai? Chichi asked in a calmer tone
What do you mean does he really know?' King Kai knows everything, you dolts!
You'd better quit it with the insults, bug boy, or I might try out my recipe for chocolate-covered grasshoppers with YOU!
As if you could catch me. You can't even catch Bubbles yet, and I'm MUCH faster than him!
I'm gonna catch him soon, and then I'm gonna squash you like the bug you are!
Now, now, you two. King Kai calmly defused the situation with a few words No need to get into a fight. Goku, you told me earlier that you are a Saiyan. Is that correct?
Goku said as he sat back down But I don't know anything about the Saiyans. You see, they sent me to Earth when I was still just a baby.
Ah. I see. Then I can probably tell you a few things about the Saiyans that you don't know.
Wow! Really?
What sort of things, King Kai? Chichi asked
Oh, all sorts of things. King Kai answered
Here you go, King Kai. Goku said as he got his sensei a chair
My goodness! King Kai said as he sat down I feel like a king! King Kai cleared his throat as Goku sat back down in his own chair Now, a long time ago, before either of you were born, there were two tribes that lived on the planet Vegeta: Goku, your ancestors, the Saiyans, and the Tuffles.
The Saiyans and the Tuffles? Goku repeated
That's correct.
Who were the Tuffles? Chichi asked
The Tuffles were a so-called advanced' civilization. They had cities much like the ones on Earth, and enjoyed all of the modern conveniences, such as air travel and cappuccinos. Goku and Chichi could almost see what King Kai was describing They had long ago outgrown energy sources which polluted their planet, and were enjoying health and prosperity. Not far from the big cities, in the arid wastelands of Vegeta, the Saiyans lived in primitive fashion. They were much larger in size than the Tuffles, but much smaller in number. One thing the Saiyans all had in common was that they had tails. Another was their brutal and violent nature, they all loved to fight. But, because they were so few in number, the Tuffles never worried about the Saiyans. That is, until one day, BOOM! They attacked. And so, the great war for the planet Vegeta began. With the element of surprise in their favor, the Saiyans quickly gained a strong foothold in the war against the Tuffles.
The Tuffles had technology on their side. They had devices that measured their enemies' fighting power and advanced weaponry which they used to hold the Saiyans at bay. Though few in number, the Saiyans' strength was so preposterous that they too won their fair share of the battles. And just when it seemed that there was no end in sight to this horrible war, something happened on Vegeta that only happens there once every eight years. There was a full moon, a decisive factor in the war for planet Vegeta. As you must know, Saiyans have the ability to transform into huge ape-like creatures when the moon is full. It didn't take long for these monsters to make Swiss cheese out of the Tuffles and their advanced civilization. But then, a new problem began for the Saiyans: Without the technology of the Tuffles, the Saiyans couldn't travel in space. This meant they couldn't satisfy the one desire that they all shared, the desire to fight. I'm sure you've heard the joke How many Saiyans does it take to build a rocket ship?'
Goku responded
Chichi shook her head
Ohhh, it's really good. Well, you see- King Kai chuckled as he prepared to tell the joke
Maybe another time, King Kai?
the blue god groused Well, not far away, the Saiyans met the Arkosians. Now, the Arkosians had money and technology but the planet Arkos was a dump. So, they hired the Saiyans to conquer a planet for them. An unholy partnership was formed, Saiyan might combined with Arkosian ingenuity to form a fleet of Planet Pirates. They even sent babies like you, Goku, to distant planets knowing that one day, the babies would grow up and carry out the order to extinguish the planet's inhabitants.
Those monsters.
I'd like to extinguish them! Goku snarled
Well, all misdeeds gather their just reward. King Kai resumed speaking You see, like Earth, the planet Vegeta also had a guardian. This good man used his powers to attract a vast system of meteors to the planet. He could no longer tolerate the horrible burden of the Saiyans' dark deeds. So, he brought destruction on the planet, which was already doomed by the weight of its inhabitants' evil. Vegeta was demolished, you could consider it like a major spanking, but with meteors. Only four Saiyans survived the destruction of Vegeta and you, Goku, are one of them.
NOOO! I'm not one of them! I never have been and I never will be!
Easy Goku, Chichi laid a comforting hand on her husband's shoulder You're nothing like those monsters King Kai just described. They killed as easily as they breathed while you only kill as a last resort. You're better than a thousand of those savage murderers.
Goku, you may despise your heritage, King Kai said But at this point, the fact that you are a Saiyan is a great asset. Channel your anger, use it to enhance your training.
You're right. Gregory, let's get started again, please.
Please? Wow! Gregory grinned There may be hope for this guy after all.
Bubbles, get that monkey butt of yours outside so I can catch you! Chichi ordered in a bossy tone
She, on the other hand, is another story.
Goku, Chichi, Gregory, Bubbles, and King Kai went outside. Bubbles started running with Chichi in hot pursuit while Goku resumed his attempts to hit Gregory with his hammer. King Kai simply watched as his pupils went about their training tasks. Chichi did not catch Bubbles that day, nor did Goku hit Gregory. Seven days later, Chichi and Goku were still trying to accomplish their respective tasks.
*I have to face it,* Chichi thought as she limbered up to prepare for the day's chase *It's not just my heavier weights that are responsible for me lagging behind Goku. He's progressing faster than I am, the difference in our training weights is insignificant at this point. I'm falling behind and I have to catch up, and the first step is catching that stupid monkey!*
Chichi straightened up and fixed her gaze on Bubbles, clenching her fists.
Start running Bubbles! Chichi barked out an order Today I catch you!
Bubbles gibbered as he stopped dancing around and started running away from Chichi. The Amazon immediately began chasing the ape all over the little planet while Goku chased Gregory with his hammer. Using the strategy Goku had used to catch Bubbles, Chichi began going off at right angles to Bubbles's path. She came close several times, but still wound up eating dirt when she tried to dive for her quarry. Chichi was determined to capture Bubbles and refused to fall any further behind her husband.
Chichi's aura momentarily flared as she concentrated every ounce of Ki she had into her legs and took off running after Bubbles. An abrupt about face soon had Chichi and Bubbles running straight at each other. Bubbles screeched in panic as he saw his pursuer running straight at him and altered course, but Chichi altered course with him, diving at him as she got close enough and capturing the monkey in her arms.
Chichi yelled with glee, causing King Kai to smile and Goku to stop chasing Gregory and turn towards his triumphant wife
Alright, Chichi! You did it! Goku grinned
Nice job, Chichi. King Kai said Ready for the next phase?
In- huff - a minute. Chichi panted, exhausted from her heroic effort
King Kai kept grinning I guess you're pretty tired from all that monkey business of yours. King Kai suddenly broke down laughing Get it? Monkey business! King Kai laughed more while Goku and Chichi merely blinked Yes, well, anyway. Might as well get things set up for your next training while you recover from catching Bubbles.
King Kai held up his hand and materialized a large pink mallet, exactly the same size as Goku's. Unbeknownst to Goku and Chichi, however, this hammer was somewhat lighter than the one Goku held in his hands. King Kai knew that Chichi wasn't up to the same level of difficulty he had given Goku, and he figured that falling even further behind her husband, someone she had been equal with, not too long ago, would be harmful to Chichi's ego and possibly harmful to her training if she started to see herself as weak.
King Kai continued Before you get started, there's something I want made clear: There is to be no exchanging of hammers. If one of you hits Gregory with the other's hammer, it will not count.
Goku blinked But they're the same, aren't they?
Well, um. No two hammers are alike. They all have slight variations in the specific balance. This rule is really for your benefit. It'll be easier to hit Gregory if you only have to adjust once to your hammer's weight. If you switch between hammers, you'll have to readjust each time, and that'll slow you down a bit.
I guess that makes sense. Chichi said calmly as she stood up OK, I'm ready to go.
Then, catch!
King Kai grinned as he casually tossed the hammer to Chichi. Remembering Goku's initial problem with his hammer's weight, Chichi braced herself as she caught the hammer and was almost dragged to the ground by its weight. Fortunately, she was able to shift her footing and stay on her feet without dropping the heavy mallet.
Man! This thing is heavy! Chichi exclaimed
It's not gonna get any lighter with you just standing there. King Kai advised Get going.
Catch me if you can, which I doubt. Gregory taunted and started flying away from Goku and Chichi
You just watch me mister grasshopper man! Chichi snarled as she and Goku gave chase
Goku and Chichi chased Gregory for six days before Goku finally succeeded in hitting Gregory with his hammer by throwing it through the air and going the opposite way to catch it and bonk Gregory on the head.
Goku grinned
Chichi jogged to a stop where Goku and Gregory were. She was happy that Goku had hit Gregory, but somewhat disappointed because now she had to wait until Gregory was ready before she could have another shot at hitting him.
Now, that wasn't too bad, was it Gregory? Goku asked
You're kidding yourself! Gregory responded haughtily My body has been super-conditioned. You couldn't hurt me with that thing if you tried!
Then, what's this? Chichi asked as she tapped a small red lump on Gregory's head, bringing a small yelp from the bug-man
Everyone except King Kai shared a laugh. After a few moments, Goku walked over to his sensei.
King Kai, you promised, remember? the Earth-raised Saiyan said
Do you really think you're ready to learn the mystic art of Kaio-ken from me as you are? King Kai asked in a yell Well? Do you!?
Well, I'll try, sir.
First you must visualize yourself at your very best, both in body and in spirit. You got that?
Got it.
Now that we've got that straight, um, let's take a lunch break.
Goku and Chichi fell down as King Kai turned to walk back to his house. Chichi made lunch, which everyone ate, and then training resumed. King Kai began teaching Goku the art of Kaio-ken while Chichi again chased Gregory with her hammer. Six days later, as Goku was immersed in a Kaio-ken lesson, Chichi finally succeeded in hitting Gregory with her hammer.
Gotcha, bug-man! the triumphant Amazon crowed How's that lump feel now?
Gregory growled but was interrupted by King Kai before he could actually say anything
Good work Chichi. the blue-skinned god said Goku, you practice a bit while I bring Chichi up to speed.
And so, Chichi began learning the art of Kaio-ken alongside her husband. But the Saiyans will reach Earth in only 73 days. Can Goku and Chichi become strong enough to defeat them and get back to Earth in time to save the world and their son? Only time will tell.
End of chapter 4
I must apologize for the appalling length of time it's taken to get this chapter finished. Seems like every time I write a chapter, it takes longer to do it. Next chapter, Goku and Chichi finish their training and return to Earth, but when a miscalculation comes to light, will they make it back in time to save Gohan? Find out whenever I manage to finish chapter 5.
Written By: Jumper Prime
For disclaimers see prologue.
Chapter 4: Training in the Afterlife
Goku and Chichi stood on King Kai's little planet, facing the short, blue man himself.
You mean you're King Kai? Goku blinked, surprised that he'd been so wrong When did you get here?
I'd say about a thousand years ago. King Kai answered with a straight face
Both Goku and Chichi were shocked by this casual declaration
Yeah, that's right.
Wow. Uh...
I guess that makes you pretty old, huh? Chichi said in a shocked but serious tone
Better to be pretty old than ugly old. Get it? King Kai laughed at his own joke. Goku and Chichi each could only blink in stunned silence Hey, not too bad, huh? I'm in the zone today. I can feel it. You can laugh you know.
Uhhh, no thanks. Goku answered. Chichi covered her face in embarrassment at her husband's lack of tact
... A tough crowd. So you want some more, do ya? Well let's see. My uncle is so large, when he sits around the house, he sits AROUND the house. Goku and Chichi could only stare, and Chichi was starting to wonder if this guy really was King Kai as he raised his right arm out in front of him. RRRING! RRRING! King Kai imitated a telephone then pantomimed picking one up Yes hello? he spoke into the imaginary telephone You don't say. AHH! You don't say. Oh my gosh.
Who're you talking to? Goku asked as King Kai got a fit of the giggles
He didn't say! Thank you very much! Well, I just flew in from Snake Way, and boy are my arms tired! HA! Now that's comedy!
Chichi tried and failed to get a word in edgewise when suddenly King Kai calmed down
OK, I guess you didn't enjoy my act, did ya?
Excuse us King Kai, Chichi said as she and Goku bent over slightly, palms together in front of them We came to train, if you'll teach us.
King Kai responded angrily My foot! How could you train!? You wouldn't recognize a good joke if it came up and bit you! King Kai made a face and turned his back on Goku and Chichi Forget it!! I won't train anyone with no sense of humor!
Huh? Goku blinked then got the idea, breaking into laughter with Chichi only a beat behind Oh! Are my arms tired! That's hilarious!
He didn't say! Chichi laughed Talk about a gut buster!
You're too much, King Kai!
King Kai smiled as he turned back around On second thought. I guess I could train you.
Oh wow! You really mean it?
Of course!
Thank you King Kai. Chichi smiled
But first, you must each pass a test.
Sure! Anything! Goku replied enthusiastically
Bring it on! Chichi agreed
Alright then. King Kai's sunglasses glinted Make me laugh, and you're in.
Chichi and Goku both looked like someone had slapped them in the face with a fish
What? Surely you have a good joke or two, huh, but it has to be a funny one for it to count.
But we can't do that! Goku exclaimed
Hey, don't get all pent up. Staying loose is the key! You can ruin a good joke if your delivery's off... Well? I'm waiting.
Goku and Chichi were both sweating as they struggled to think of some funny jokes
Well? Having trouble are we? King Kai asked impatiently Just get up and go then!
Goku haltingly started Did the chicken cross the road? IT WAS TOO FAR TO FLY!
Nope. Bad delivery. Try again. King Kai's serious face suddenly collapsed as he covered his mouth in a futile attempt to stifle some giggles
Goku grinned as he saw his joke had had an effect It was... TOO FAR TO FLY! Goku repeated the punchline and King Kai's giggles increased
Why can't a leopard change its spots? Chichi started a joke her father liked Because fur's too expensive for it to keep a spare coat around! King Kai's giggles increased further after Chichi told the punchline
What's the difference between a jeweler and a jailer? One sells watches, one watches cells!
What do you call it when a French bakery explodes? Napoleon blown apart!
At that point, King Kai broke down into a full blown case of laughter, banging the ground with his fist.
We did it, Chichi! Goku smiled Right on! We made King Kai laugh! Husband and wife shared a high five as their new sensei fell on his back, laughing with no end in sight Somebody stop me!
Hey King Kai! Chichi called Looks like you've fallen and you can't get up!
King Kai had lost all semblance of self-control by this point and laughed non-stop for several minutes with no further jokes from Goku and Chichi. Finally, King Kai managed to quell his laughter and got to his feet
Oh my my my. King Kai, wiped his eyes with his handkerchief OK kids, you're in! When I get through with you, you'll have no equal in the art of delivering a punchline. You'll be the prince and princess of puns. How does that grab you? Both Goku's and Chichi's jaws dropped
But, we thought you knew... Goku said
We came for martial arts training. Chichi finished
You did? King Kai's tone held genuine surprise Shame on you! You should've told me earlier! Now, show me what you've got. King Kai got into a fighting stance Don't hold back, I'm stronger than I look.
Goku and Chichi both got into fighting stances, but found it difficult to move due to the heavy gravity. King Kai noticed their discomfort.
It's this place, Goku answered The gravity here...
We just can't seem to get used to it. Chichi finished
I see. King Kai said after a moment I guess you're both from Earth. Well? Am I right?
Yes, that's it.
Ah! That explains it. I'm surprised that you're even up and walking around. This planet is very small, and the gravity is so severe. I'd say your bodies weigh at least ten times more here than they did on Earth. Go ahead, try a jump, as high as you can.
Goku and Chichi both crouched down and jumped, their leaps both topping out with their feet at a height just above the roof of King Kai's house. They then plummeted back to the ground, landing hard on their feet. Goku fell over onto his butt while Chichi flailed around for a few seconds before unwillingly copying his motion.
Oh man! Goku sighed
God, I feel so embarrassed. Chichi groaned *I was able to jump higher than that when I was fourteen.*
Neither realized that they had jumped quite high for someone in ten times their native gravity. A piece of information that King Kai was well aware of.
Alright then! Let's begin the training. King Kai announced How long do you two plan on staying here?
Well, for as long as possible. Goku answered But we're not really sure how much time is left. You see, it's like this: There's some guys, really evil guys called Saiyan warriors, and they're on their way to Earth to take it over.
That's why we have to get strong enough to stop them. Chichi continued Our son is there!
The Saiyans, huh? King Kai nodded That's awful. They're a ruthless people. Hmmm. Let me see. King Kai's antennae shifted from being swept back to dangling out in front of his face We need to find out for sure what day they're gonna get to your planet... Let's see now... Ah yes, there they are. Two of them. Hmmm. I'm afraid they don't come any stronger than these particular two. Oh boy. Goodness, are you in a pickle. Now let's see. At their current rate of speed, they should arrive on Earth in approximately 102 days.
Goku asked You can tell that?
That's amazing! Chichi exclaimed
No, you're amazing, sweetheart. King Kai spoke in a voice more suited to Humphrey Bogart. He then continued in his normal voice. Now THAT'S good! King Kai began giggling again. He stopped when he realized neither Goku nor Chichi were laughing with him and turned to walk a little bit away from them Forget about the training. What's the use? Goku and Chichi suddenly burst out into laughter, causing King Kai to turn back towards them with a smile on his face.
That's good. Goku laughed
Yeah, but we've only got 102 days to prepare for the Saiyans, Chichi said And that's far from good.
Aw, I think 102 days should be plenty of time. King Kai disagreed Training under me, on this planet, nonstop, for 102 days is equivalent to training for several thousand years on Earth.
Wow! That's great! Goku was as ecstatic as his wife
There is one thing though. King Kai said solemnly Just because you train, doesn't mean you can win. The two Saiyans that are on their way to Earth rank among the greatest fighters in the entire universe. Those particular two, well, they're even stronger than me.
Stronger than you?! Chichi was stunned That means-
That means that in order for you to beat them, you're going to have to become stronger than me. King Kai unceremoniously announced But that doesn't scare you too bad, does it? Goku and Chichi were silent, stunned as they were by the revelation Good! Well, I say we get started. BUBBLES! Over here! The monkey from earlier now came up over the hill Bubbles is used to the extreme gravity here. I want you two to try to catch him.
THAT'S our training!? Chichi almost yelled To catch that stupid monkey!?
Right! Until you can move around that easily, you're not ready to start anything.
Goku sighed Well, we'll try.
Go now, Bubbles, run away.
Bubbles started running while Goku and Chichi trudged after him. The husband and wife found they were not able to run fast at all in the heavy gravity and Bubbles quickly left them in the dust.
Get back here you stupid monkey! Chichi yelled angrily
Goku's and Chichi's feet felt like they were made of lead, and their weighted clothing wasn't helping. Chichi tripped over the edge of the narrow roadway that circled the planet and sprawled on the paved surface with a yelp of pain. Goku continued moving but didn't get much farther than his wife before going down to one knee on the grass.
Man, this hurts. Goku muttered
Goku realized it would be easier to catch Bubbles without his weighted clothing and so he started removing his weighted shirt.
This oughta help. he muttered to himself as he pulled his shirt off, dropping it to the ground with a louder thud than usual
Good idea, Goku! Chichi smiled, seeing what her husband was doing.
While Goku worked on getting off his boots, Chichi slipped off her heavy bracelets and dropped them to the ground, both producing thuds as they hit. Next to go was her weighted shawl, then she went to work on her boots.
King Kai said to himself as he watched from a distance They've already been using equipment to make themselves heavier.
I'm gonna get you, you little ape. Goku giggled as he stood up, having divested himself of his weighted equipment
Not if I get him first. Chichi declared as she also stood up, her boots laying on the ground
Here we come! Goku called to Bubbles as he and Chichi both started running after the monkey much faster than before.
I've got you now, you stupid monkey! Chichi yelled as she closed on Bubbles, Goku right beside her.
As Goku and Chichi reached for Bubbles, the monkey suddenly zoomed away even faster than before, his legs blurring as they moved extremely fast. Bubbles came to a stop a good distance away and jumped around, apparently taunting the couple as they came to a stop and collapsed near the road.
Aw man, he's got overdrive. Goku groaned
I don't believe it. Chichi shook her head in shock
Fooled you, huh? King Kai laughed as he walked up
He's a little motor. Goku declared
Goku, I'm not sure if I can catch him. Chichi admitted
I'm not sure if I can catch him, either.
You're both welcome to go home, if you want. King Kai announced
Chichi was about to give a bitter rebuke when Goku's belly rumbled loudly. Chichi's belly rumbled a bit, as well, a moment later.
Oh boy... Goku said in an embarrassed tone Come to think of it, we haven't eaten since we left Princess Snake's. Uhhh, would it be OK if we ate before we continued?
Well, I guess... King Kai answered
I can cook, Chichi volunteered And Goku can do the dishes.
Sounds reasonable.
After resting on the ground for another minute, Goku and Chichi got up and walked to King Kai's house, their new sensei walking with them. Chichi started cooking in King Kai's small kitchen while Goku sat outside and King Kai watched her cook. King Kai watched, partly to judge her adaptation to the gravity and partly to make sure she didn't wreck his kitchen. The usual chore of cooking a meal large enough to satisfy Goku was made more difficult by the heavy gravity, but Chichi managed to cook the usual quantities, though she had difficulty lifting the fully loaded cookware and found herself setting pots down harder than she intended. Fortunately, everything in King Kai's house was designed to hold up in heavy gravity and so nothing was damaged by the rough handling.
Don't you think you're making a bit much for the three of us? King Kai asked when he noticed how much food she was making
You don't know Goku's stomach. Chichi answered as she continued to cook After this batch is done, I'm gonna have to make another, smaller batch, just for you and me.
He eats that much? Does he eat so much at every meal, or just when he hasn't eaten for a while?
Every meal. If it weren't for the fact that my Dad's rich and Goku was the last winner of the Tenkaichi Budokai, not to mention Goku's daily hunting, we'd go broke paying the food bills alone. Our son Gohan's got a healthy appetite too, for a boy his age. I just hope I'll get the chance to cook for him again in the future.
Hmm. I better call the grocery store and order some more food or the pantry'll be bare in no time flat.
Chichi eventually finished cooking and King Kai helped her ferry the massive amount of food out to Goku. Despite Chichi's warning, King Kai was still stunned by Goku's appetite and the speed with which he ate. King Kai and Chichi ate at a more sedate pace and King Kai hummed approvingly as he savored his food.
Yum! This is delicious! he declared You're an excellent cook, Chichi. Too bad you'll be leaving in just a few months, I could get used to cooking like this.
I'm just worried about taking too much time out of my training to cook. Chichi said It wasn't all that big an issue when things were quiet on Earth, but now, with the Saiyans on the way...
Oh, don't worry too much. Considering the fact that the gravity here is ten times that of Earth, the chore of cooking alone should count as light exercise for you, especially with the weight of food Goku consumes.
And don't forget, Chichi, Goku mumbled around a few mouthfuls of food Your weights'll help you keep up, too.
What's this?
Well, back before Radditz showed up, Chichi answered I did all the cleaning and cooking around the house, so I had less time to train than Goku. He came up with an idea that would help me keep up with him. My weights are a little heavier than his, which helps me keep up with him a little better than I would if our weights were equal.
Hmm. Interesting. King Kai had a thoughtful look on his face as Goku have a loud burp
Goku sighed contentedly That was good. King Kai, I think I'm ready to get started again.
Me too, Chichi agreed as she put aside her plate If it's alright with you, that is.
You heard them Bubbles, King Kai turned to his pet monkey Get going. Gosh, Bubbles hasn't been this excited in a long time. King Kai grinned as Bubbles started moving He's gonna be hard to catch. Well, shake a leg! Well, you heard me, catch Bubbles, or you'll never get to receive martial arts training from me!
Yes sir, King Kai! We'll do our best. Goku responded as he adjusted his belt
That monkey's days are numbered! Chichi added with conviction as she and Goku started to run after Bubbles
Oh, one more thing. King Kai said, causing Goku and Chichi to stop immediately Those heavy clothes and shoes that you took off, put them back on. That will be more effective.
Chichi squawked
Holy cow, it's twice as hard to run with that stuff on! Goku complained
King Kai grinned The harder the better. You know the Saiyans' planet has the same gravity as mine.
Wow! You're kidding!
No, and they always train with weights as well. Goku and Chichi's faces conveyed shock as King Kai delivered his explanation So now you understand, it's one of the great secrets to their power. Unfortunately, that's not even the root of their power. You see, the Saiyans are born with the unique ability to fight. It's like a sixth sense, it's in their blood.
Well don't worry, I'm a Saiyan too. Bye! Goku grinned as he turned to run after Bubbles
King Kai turned towards the departing Goku, a little shocked by his declaration. The catfish-like god turned to Chichi, who was still standing there, processing the information King Kai had just imparted to them. What about you? Are you also a Saiyan?
Not as far as I know. Chichi responded after a moment But I've been able to keep up with Goku for a while now, and since he's a Saiyan, I think I should be able to go head to head with another Saiyan or two. If you'll excuse me, I've got a smelly ape to catch.
Chichi turned and walked over to where she had left her weighted clothing. She put the boots, bracelets, and shawl back on with some trepidation and a little effort. Chichi stood up and faced towards the sound of Bubbles' gibbering, coming from just over the horizon, and started to run towards it. Goku and Chichi chased Bubbles all over the little planet that day, but they didn't even come close to catching him, nor did they the next. The chase lasted days, with Goku and Chichi only stopping to eat and sleep and, in Chichi's case, cook meals. One might think that because Chichi spent less time than Goku chasing Bubbles, that she was falling far behind her husband. One would be wrong.
Each day, while Goku and Chichi were chasing Bubbles, King Kai would minutely increase the weight of the mixing bowls, pots, pans, and other cooking utensils. This was done without Chichi's knowledge and the net result was that, even as Chichi grew stronger, the act of cooking itself counted as exercise for her. Goku was indeed widening the gap, but only slowly.
The couple got a little closer to catching Bubbles each day, and both were growing stronger with each passing day, without even realizing it. Ten days after their arrival on King Kai's little planet, Goku and Chichi were, as usual, chasing Bubbles. They were both hot on the monkey's heels, Goku slightly ahead of his wife. After a bit of tree climbing which ended with branches breaking off in Goku and Chichi's hands, they were after Bubbles again. Chichi put everything she had into chasing Bubbles, but found herself unable to close the gap as the monkey's legs were a continuous blur. She didn't even notice Goku had dropped out of the pursuit until she saw him coming from directly ahead.
Bubbles let out a shriek of animalistic surprise as he saw Goku charging towards him from in front while Chichi bore down on him from behind. Thinking quickly, the ape took off at a right angle to his previous course. Goku and Chichi almost crashed into each other chasing Bubbles, but were able to avoid a collision. This time, when Goku reversed course, Chichi noticed.
*What's he doing?* she wondered before returning her full attention to the chase
As Chichi and Bubbles approached King Kai's house, Goku popped out from behind the structure right in front of Bubbles. The monkey shrieked and dashed off in a new direction. Again Goku chased along with Chichi for a few seconds, but then broke off the pursuit.
*Now I get it!* Chichi realized what Goku was doing *Since this planet is so small, he can go a whole different direction and still intercept that stupid ape. There's something to try... After... I... Rest.*
Chichi slowed to a stop in front of King Kai's house and then collapsed on the grass, completely exhausted from the prolonged chase.
You looked like you were getting close this time. King Kai commented as he watched Goku continue to chase Bubbles
Goku's strategy might get him the win today. Chichi said in a tired voice as she raised her head to watch part of the chase
The win?
Me and Goku have a little bet as to who would catch Bubbles first.
What will he win?
Just bragging rights, but I really thought that, even with my heavier weights, I could win.
Well, don't look now, but it looks like Goku's having sport with Bubbles.
Indeed, Goku seemed to be playing with Bubbles, taunting him several times before finally chasing him down and catching him with a diving grab. Chichi smiled as Goku danced around, holding the monkey in his arms and jumping high with him before landing on his feet.
He did it. Chichi whispered to herself while King Kai looked on proudly
Hey King Kai, Goku said as he walked up to them I'm ready to start the next training.
I see. Remarkable. King Kai commented Yes indeed. Excellent work.
You were amazing Goku! That stupid monkey couldn't get away from you!
Your performance was very STIRRING. King Kai said as he made a stirring motion with his hands, then broke out into a fit of the giggles. Meanwhile, Bubbles had decided to kiss Goku on the lips
Goku spit a little after removing Bubbles from his face Now I know what it's like to be kissed by a sweaty little ape.
Is he a better kisser than me, Goku? Chichi teased
Uh, no. You're a lots better kisser than him, Chichi. Uhh, no offense Bubbles.
Bubbles gibbered in response as he moved onto Goku's back.
Well, shall we proceed? King Kai asked Your next training is difficult.
Well, OK. I'll do my best. Goku answered
Chichi, you rest a bit more and pay attention. Once you also catch Bubbles, you'll need to do the same and it'll save time if I only have to explain this once.
King Kai inhaled deeply and then let out a very loud yell right in Goku's face. The force of the yell was enough to require Goku to exert effort to not be blown away. The force was also great enough to temporarily part the grass in its path.
What did you do? Goku asked as King Kai turned around and seemed to be peering into the distance.
I yelled at the top of my lungs. King Kai answered with complete seriousness
Why did you yell, King Kai? Chichi asked
You'll see. King Kai answered cryptically
A moment later, Goku and Chichi began to hear King Kai's yell again from far off, immediately followed by the hurricane force yell blowing past both Goku and King Kai. The yell had traveled completely around the little planet and past its origin point.
Now that's REALLY a long-distance call! King Kai joked as the yell dissipated into the distance, once again, then laughed uncontrollably Don't you get it?
This guy is the ultimate martial-arts master? Goku muttered to himself
I HEARD THAT! A high pitched voice suddenly shouted from above and a bright light slammed into Goku, knocking him to the ground next to Chichi
What is that? Chichi wondered
I'm not a that, you lunkhead! the high-pitched voice came from the ball of light, right before it dissipated to review a small figure sitting in midair in front of Goku and Chichi
Goku said as he gazed in wonder at the new arrival A little grasshopper man.
What!? You jerk!
A little grasshopper man! King Kai repeated as he started to laugh
Be quiet! You're full of insults! Who do you think you are!? I happen to be King Kai's foremost attendant, the great Gregory!
Both Goku and Chichi were dumbfounded by Gregory's arrival
Gregory! The peerless martial-arts master with no equal! Besides King Kai. Gregory turned to point at King Kai, but sweatdropped as he saw his mentor laughing uncontrollably
Your ego is peerless. King Kai laughed
Well, excuse me! I AM really great. Now what's the big idea!? You don't think King Kai's for real!?
Well, his methods kind of bug us. Chichi said as she and Goku stood up, her utterance triggering a fresh round of laughter from King Kai
That's good. BUG us. I wish I'd thought of that. King Kai said between laughs
King Kai, this is no time for laughter! Gregory admonished King Kai, please!
Alright then, King Kai suddenly stopped laughing and became serious again Let's proceed. Goku, Chichi, meet Gregory. Goku, he's your next test. In your case, Chichi, he will be your next test, after you catch Bubbles.
Eh? This egomaniac!? Chichi questioned
I am not an egomaniac! Gregory argued But I WILL be your next test! Don't act so surprised!
But King Kai, we thought you were gonna train us personally. Goku protested
You'll take on just about anyone, nowadays, won't you? Gregory faced King Kai How do you expect me to put up with trainees like this who don't know the first thing about decorum and respect!?
You'll manage. King Kai answered Now, let's get started. King Kai raised his hand and a large blue mallet appeared in it
What's that for? Goku asked
That's big, Kai. Are you sure you're not overdoing it, sir? Gregory asked nervously
No, it's fine. King Kai answered Here Goku, think fast. King Kai lofted the mallet through the air to Goku, who caught it but was unable to arrest its downward movement before the mallet's head thudded into the ground How's that? Heavy enough?
Gregory laughed as Goku used all his strength to lift the heavy mallet off the ground.
Your next training is to knock Gregory down using the hammer I just gave you. King Kai instructed
This thing? Goku asked as he looked from the hammer to Gregory and back again
And then, if you succeed, you'll start training under me, directly.
Wow! Alright!
Ha! Don't get your hopes up, buddy boy. Gregory said He said IF you succeed. Gregory then flew up as high as the top of the nearby tree OK, get ready now! Gregory gathered his Ki, becoming surrounded in a bright aura while Goku hefted his hammer as best he could Alright! Here I come!
Gregory flew at Goku, bowling him over and sending him to the ground
Wow! Goku exclaimed What speed!
Chichi frowned as Gregory flew back at Goku to strike him across the face.
Why that little- Chichi grumbled as she saw the unsportsmanlike treatment Gregory was giving her husband but was interrupted by King Kai
You look well rested, Chichi. he commented If I were you, I'd start trying to catch Bubbles again, before Goku gets even farther ahead of you.
You heard him, you stupid ape! Chichi barked at Bubbles Get moving so I can catch you!
Bubbles gibbered and started running, immediately followed by Chichi, while King Kai quietly chuckled to himself. Meanwhile, Goku chased after Gregory, swinging his hammer, incidentally making holes in the ground, road, and accidentally smashing up King Kai's car. Chichi had several close calls with Goku almost hitting her with his hammer before King Kai ordered Gregory to keep Bubbles and Chichi out of his flight path. After several more hours, King Kai called Chichi in from chasing Bubbles.
Chichi, it's time to start cooking dinner! King Kai called
What? Already? Chichi panted as she slowed to a halt
Unless you want me to try to cook enough to feed that bottomless pit you call a husband. My cooking's nowhere near as good as yours, though.
Well, I could use a rest anyway.
Chichi walked into the house and started cooking. As she did, she noticed that the pots, pans, and other cooking utensils were once again heavier than they had been the day before. Chichi had begun to suspect something was going on without her knowledge. As King Kai helped out by chopping vegetables, he decided to satisfy his curiosity about his new trainees.
Chichi, if you don't mind my asking, did you and Goku have a big wedding? he asked
If you call the 23rd Tenkaichi Budokai big. Chichi answered as she dumped a load of meat into a pot
The Tenkaichi Budokai? That's a martial-arts tournament, not a wedding program.
My mother was an Amazon, so for me, it's the same thing. Let me quote a passage to you from Amazon law, the one which was my favorite from the very day I first met Goku. For an engaged couple, the woman an Amazon, defeat of the Amazon by the male in fair combat marks the commencement of the marriage proper, so long as both parties consent.'
So when Goku defeated you in your quarter-final match, you two became husband and wife in the eyes of your tribe.
Not quite, first he- Waitasec. How'd you know when in the tournament me and Goku fought?
I make it a point to watch all the major fighting tournaments on the planets in my quadrant. I get great reception up here.
Oh. Well anyway, after Goku beat me, he still had to consent to the wedding, which he did after I told him who I was.
He didn't recognize you and you still wanted to marry him?
I can't really blame him. It'd been six years since the last time we'd seen each other. I was just a little girl back then and the next time he saw me, I was a full grown woman.
Ah, I see. You must've made quite the impressions on each other to still want to get married after six years with no contact.
Our love was destined to be. I knew I loved him from the first moment I saw him.
Alright, everything's cooking. Chichi said as she took off her apron If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go get that stupid ape of yours.
Good luck.
Chichi went back outside and started chasing Bubbles again while Goku continued to try to hit Gregory with his hammer. King Kai watched them chase his assistants until he heard the kitchen timer go off.
he yelled and everyone came to an abrupt stop It's break time! Dinner!
Everyone came inside King Kai's house, Goku putting his hammer down on the ground outside before he entered. Chichi served the food to Bubbles, Gregory, and Goku, putting a massive portion in front of Goku, before settling down to eat her own modest meal. While everyone else ate, King Kai watered his plants.
You worked up an appetite, didn't you? the martial-arts commented as he noticed how much and how fast Goku was eating
Boy oh boy. Goku responded between bites Did I ever.
Does it slow him down? Gregory asked
No, it just makes him faster. King Kai answered as he walked past the table And he doesn't even have to digest.
You don't say.
The Saiyans are remarkably fast, though. King Kai turned to look at Goku and Chichi Neither of you are there, not yet.
The Saiyans?! Goku stood up from the table sharply, his food forgotten at the mention of his and Chichi's future opponents.
Do you really know about the Saiyans, King Kai? Chichi asked in a calmer tone
What do you mean does he really know?' King Kai knows everything, you dolts!
You'd better quit it with the insults, bug boy, or I might try out my recipe for chocolate-covered grasshoppers with YOU!
As if you could catch me. You can't even catch Bubbles yet, and I'm MUCH faster than him!
I'm gonna catch him soon, and then I'm gonna squash you like the bug you are!
Now, now, you two. King Kai calmly defused the situation with a few words No need to get into a fight. Goku, you told me earlier that you are a Saiyan. Is that correct?
Goku said as he sat back down But I don't know anything about the Saiyans. You see, they sent me to Earth when I was still just a baby.
Ah. I see. Then I can probably tell you a few things about the Saiyans that you don't know.
Wow! Really?
What sort of things, King Kai? Chichi asked
Oh, all sorts of things. King Kai answered
Here you go, King Kai. Goku said as he got his sensei a chair
My goodness! King Kai said as he sat down I feel like a king! King Kai cleared his throat as Goku sat back down in his own chair Now, a long time ago, before either of you were born, there were two tribes that lived on the planet Vegeta: Goku, your ancestors, the Saiyans, and the Tuffles.
The Saiyans and the Tuffles? Goku repeated
That's correct.
Who were the Tuffles? Chichi asked
The Tuffles were a so-called advanced' civilization. They had cities much like the ones on Earth, and enjoyed all of the modern conveniences, such as air travel and cappuccinos. Goku and Chichi could almost see what King Kai was describing They had long ago outgrown energy sources which polluted their planet, and were enjoying health and prosperity. Not far from the big cities, in the arid wastelands of Vegeta, the Saiyans lived in primitive fashion. They were much larger in size than the Tuffles, but much smaller in number. One thing the Saiyans all had in common was that they had tails. Another was their brutal and violent nature, they all loved to fight. But, because they were so few in number, the Tuffles never worried about the Saiyans. That is, until one day, BOOM! They attacked. And so, the great war for the planet Vegeta began. With the element of surprise in their favor, the Saiyans quickly gained a strong foothold in the war against the Tuffles.
The Tuffles had technology on their side. They had devices that measured their enemies' fighting power and advanced weaponry which they used to hold the Saiyans at bay. Though few in number, the Saiyans' strength was so preposterous that they too won their fair share of the battles. And just when it seemed that there was no end in sight to this horrible war, something happened on Vegeta that only happens there once every eight years. There was a full moon, a decisive factor in the war for planet Vegeta. As you must know, Saiyans have the ability to transform into huge ape-like creatures when the moon is full. It didn't take long for these monsters to make Swiss cheese out of the Tuffles and their advanced civilization. But then, a new problem began for the Saiyans: Without the technology of the Tuffles, the Saiyans couldn't travel in space. This meant they couldn't satisfy the one desire that they all shared, the desire to fight. I'm sure you've heard the joke How many Saiyans does it take to build a rocket ship?'
Goku responded
Chichi shook her head
Ohhh, it's really good. Well, you see- King Kai chuckled as he prepared to tell the joke
Maybe another time, King Kai?
the blue god groused Well, not far away, the Saiyans met the Arkosians. Now, the Arkosians had money and technology but the planet Arkos was a dump. So, they hired the Saiyans to conquer a planet for them. An unholy partnership was formed, Saiyan might combined with Arkosian ingenuity to form a fleet of Planet Pirates. They even sent babies like you, Goku, to distant planets knowing that one day, the babies would grow up and carry out the order to extinguish the planet's inhabitants.
Those monsters.
I'd like to extinguish them! Goku snarled
Well, all misdeeds gather their just reward. King Kai resumed speaking You see, like Earth, the planet Vegeta also had a guardian. This good man used his powers to attract a vast system of meteors to the planet. He could no longer tolerate the horrible burden of the Saiyans' dark deeds. So, he brought destruction on the planet, which was already doomed by the weight of its inhabitants' evil. Vegeta was demolished, you could consider it like a major spanking, but with meteors. Only four Saiyans survived the destruction of Vegeta and you, Goku, are one of them.
NOOO! I'm not one of them! I never have been and I never will be!
Easy Goku, Chichi laid a comforting hand on her husband's shoulder You're nothing like those monsters King Kai just described. They killed as easily as they breathed while you only kill as a last resort. You're better than a thousand of those savage murderers.
Goku, you may despise your heritage, King Kai said But at this point, the fact that you are a Saiyan is a great asset. Channel your anger, use it to enhance your training.
You're right. Gregory, let's get started again, please.
Please? Wow! Gregory grinned There may be hope for this guy after all.
Bubbles, get that monkey butt of yours outside so I can catch you! Chichi ordered in a bossy tone
She, on the other hand, is another story.
Goku, Chichi, Gregory, Bubbles, and King Kai went outside. Bubbles started running with Chichi in hot pursuit while Goku resumed his attempts to hit Gregory with his hammer. King Kai simply watched as his pupils went about their training tasks. Chichi did not catch Bubbles that day, nor did Goku hit Gregory. Seven days later, Chichi and Goku were still trying to accomplish their respective tasks.
*I have to face it,* Chichi thought as she limbered up to prepare for the day's chase *It's not just my heavier weights that are responsible for me lagging behind Goku. He's progressing faster than I am, the difference in our training weights is insignificant at this point. I'm falling behind and I have to catch up, and the first step is catching that stupid monkey!*
Chichi straightened up and fixed her gaze on Bubbles, clenching her fists.
Start running Bubbles! Chichi barked out an order Today I catch you!
Bubbles gibbered as he stopped dancing around and started running away from Chichi. The Amazon immediately began chasing the ape all over the little planet while Goku chased Gregory with his hammer. Using the strategy Goku had used to catch Bubbles, Chichi began going off at right angles to Bubbles's path. She came close several times, but still wound up eating dirt when she tried to dive for her quarry. Chichi was determined to capture Bubbles and refused to fall any further behind her husband.
Chichi's aura momentarily flared as she concentrated every ounce of Ki she had into her legs and took off running after Bubbles. An abrupt about face soon had Chichi and Bubbles running straight at each other. Bubbles screeched in panic as he saw his pursuer running straight at him and altered course, but Chichi altered course with him, diving at him as she got close enough and capturing the monkey in her arms.
Chichi yelled with glee, causing King Kai to smile and Goku to stop chasing Gregory and turn towards his triumphant wife
Alright, Chichi! You did it! Goku grinned
Nice job, Chichi. King Kai said Ready for the next phase?
In- huff - a minute. Chichi panted, exhausted from her heroic effort
King Kai kept grinning I guess you're pretty tired from all that monkey business of yours. King Kai suddenly broke down laughing Get it? Monkey business! King Kai laughed more while Goku and Chichi merely blinked Yes, well, anyway. Might as well get things set up for your next training while you recover from catching Bubbles.
King Kai held up his hand and materialized a large pink mallet, exactly the same size as Goku's. Unbeknownst to Goku and Chichi, however, this hammer was somewhat lighter than the one Goku held in his hands. King Kai knew that Chichi wasn't up to the same level of difficulty he had given Goku, and he figured that falling even further behind her husband, someone she had been equal with, not too long ago, would be harmful to Chichi's ego and possibly harmful to her training if she started to see herself as weak.
King Kai continued Before you get started, there's something I want made clear: There is to be no exchanging of hammers. If one of you hits Gregory with the other's hammer, it will not count.
Goku blinked But they're the same, aren't they?
Well, um. No two hammers are alike. They all have slight variations in the specific balance. This rule is really for your benefit. It'll be easier to hit Gregory if you only have to adjust once to your hammer's weight. If you switch between hammers, you'll have to readjust each time, and that'll slow you down a bit.
I guess that makes sense. Chichi said calmly as she stood up OK, I'm ready to go.
Then, catch!
King Kai grinned as he casually tossed the hammer to Chichi. Remembering Goku's initial problem with his hammer's weight, Chichi braced herself as she caught the hammer and was almost dragged to the ground by its weight. Fortunately, she was able to shift her footing and stay on her feet without dropping the heavy mallet.
Man! This thing is heavy! Chichi exclaimed
It's not gonna get any lighter with you just standing there. King Kai advised Get going.
Catch me if you can, which I doubt. Gregory taunted and started flying away from Goku and Chichi
You just watch me mister grasshopper man! Chichi snarled as she and Goku gave chase
Goku and Chichi chased Gregory for six days before Goku finally succeeded in hitting Gregory with his hammer by throwing it through the air and going the opposite way to catch it and bonk Gregory on the head.
Goku grinned
Chichi jogged to a stop where Goku and Gregory were. She was happy that Goku had hit Gregory, but somewhat disappointed because now she had to wait until Gregory was ready before she could have another shot at hitting him.
Now, that wasn't too bad, was it Gregory? Goku asked
You're kidding yourself! Gregory responded haughtily My body has been super-conditioned. You couldn't hurt me with that thing if you tried!
Then, what's this? Chichi asked as she tapped a small red lump on Gregory's head, bringing a small yelp from the bug-man
Everyone except King Kai shared a laugh. After a few moments, Goku walked over to his sensei.
King Kai, you promised, remember? the Earth-raised Saiyan said
Do you really think you're ready to learn the mystic art of Kaio-ken from me as you are? King Kai asked in a yell Well? Do you!?
Well, I'll try, sir.
First you must visualize yourself at your very best, both in body and in spirit. You got that?
Got it.
Now that we've got that straight, um, let's take a lunch break.
Goku and Chichi fell down as King Kai turned to walk back to his house. Chichi made lunch, which everyone ate, and then training resumed. King Kai began teaching Goku the art of Kaio-ken while Chichi again chased Gregory with her hammer. Six days later, as Goku was immersed in a Kaio-ken lesson, Chichi finally succeeded in hitting Gregory with her hammer.
Gotcha, bug-man! the triumphant Amazon crowed How's that lump feel now?
Gregory growled but was interrupted by King Kai before he could actually say anything
Good work Chichi. the blue-skinned god said Goku, you practice a bit while I bring Chichi up to speed.
And so, Chichi began learning the art of Kaio-ken alongside her husband. But the Saiyans will reach Earth in only 73 days. Can Goku and Chichi become strong enough to defeat them and get back to Earth in time to save the world and their son? Only time will tell.
End of chapter 4
I must apologize for the appalling length of time it's taken to get this chapter finished. Seems like every time I write a chapter, it takes longer to do it. Next chapter, Goku and Chichi finish their training and return to Earth, but when a miscalculation comes to light, will they make it back in time to save Gohan? Find out whenever I manage to finish chapter 5.