The Secret Life of Colby Granger
By: Suisan (w/Asst from Amy D)
Numb3rs Fandom
Synopsis: Granger has another life away from the FBI -- his two worlds are about to collide.
A/N: The title is somewhat borrowed/paraphrased from James Thurber. This story totally ignores events of The Janus List (season 3 episode 24) but ties into the events of the stories of "Heat Wave" & "Arsenic and New Kevlar" by Amy D. and myself.
Warnings: You want warnings, go somewhere else … seriously. I write adult language stories for adult or mature readers. There is, without a doubt, characters cussing like cops in this story - and probably some innuendo of a sexual nature as well. If that sort of thing 'bothers' you, I suggest you stop reading right now and never read anything else with my name attached to it.
Was that enough of a warning for you?
Part Four (final)
Around 15 minutes prior to the Queen's Feast and Laurel Ceremony, Colby had located Don and gave him the "society name" he and the others would need to listen for at the feast. Then he pressed three spectator tickets, with 'below the salt' printed on them, for the feast into Don's hand before disappearing into the crowd gathering before the hall. Don hadn't been amused when Granger, now to be thought of as "Cathaoir" in Don's mind, had informed him that there was a better than 60 chance that Eduardo Rojas had changed from his fighting armor into something completely different for the feast and award ceremony. Don pulled his com-link up and called for Reeves and Sinclair to join him before the huge hall that was hosting the night's big event could fill up beyond capacity. Before they moved inside with the shuffling mob, he gave both of his agents the information Granger had been able to gather, while wondering if he really wanted to ask the younger agent how he got it or if it was just better not to ask and, therefore, be able to claim plausible deniability later.
Inside, the décor impressed and somewhat intimidated Don Eppes. The exposed post and beam construction of the hall / barn suited the overall feel of the SCA, and the many banners, shields and other devices hanging from the walls and ceiling only added to the overall atmosphere. Turning to find Megan and David standing right beside him with their mouths hanging open, Don didn't feel so alone in his state of overwhelm. "Could they have gone any more overboard with the whole Hogwarts influence?" He muttered, not really expecting either of his agents to answer.
"It's less Potter and more … I dunno … Ivanhoe?" David quietly responded before shaking his head and moving deeper into the crowd.
Megan led the way toward the other side of the hall as soon as Don had spotted where, and for whom, David was moving in the direction of. Agent Maggie Undiano was dressed in a long, blue tunic draped over an off white underdress and was waving David over to where she stood on the sidelines. One side of the hall was now covered by those two and Don and Megan were moving into position on the other side … which Don noticed just happened to place them, conveniently so, close to the group that Larry was a part of.
Not begrudging Reeves this opportunity to learn more about Doctor Fleinhardt, Don kept his eyes busy scanning the multitude of armor clad or sword-carrying warriors in hopes of spotting Rojas before the feast started. He really had no desire to screw this night up for this interesting group of reenactors and if Don could find Rojas and move him out of the hall with a minimum of fuss before arresting him, that would be so much better than causing a scene.
Megan reached over and pinched his arm, drawing his attention to a corner behind what Don thought might be the Royal Table … there was Colby, Sir Cathaoir, in a heated discussion with another man wearing a white tunic with a red 'crusader' cross emblazoned on it. "What do you think that is? Some sort of pre-feast debate?"
"No clue, but it's clearly not making Granger happy. See? He's gesturing for the couple wearing the crowns to join them."
"Granger, what are you doing?" Don mused allowed as he kept one eye on his armor-clad agent and the people around him even as he kept one eye on the crowd searching for Rojas.
A man and woman dressed in similar clothing, at least color-wise, stepped into the huge open space between the tables set around the edges of the hall and, after ringing a couple of huge cowbells to get everyone's attention, the man called out to the crowd. "Lords, Ladies, Gentlefolk … please take your places according to your rank or, in the case of our many guests, according to your tickets. All gentlefolk with 'above the salt' tickets will have places at the tables. All those with 'below the salt' tickets will experience the feast the way the serfs did in medieval times. Please sort yourselves accordingly and the servers will start making the rounds shortly. Thank you."
"'Below the salt?' Guess Granger couldn't get anything better." Megan groused as she stepped back against the wall behind her and Don to let a few people past.
"Could be worse, Reeves." Don joined her against the patch of wall and waited until he felt her eyes bore a hole into his skull before answering. "We could be standing outside with the others trying to figure out where Rojas was."
"True … got him!" Megan's voice dropped to where Don could hear her, but he seriously doubted the people around her did.
"Where?" Don asked, his nerves on fire as the first adrenaline rush hit his blood stream.
Megan raised a hand, carefully not pointing directly at the man, and gestured as she turned as is if to whisper into Don's ear. "There, just before the Royal table, the first table on the other side … fourth, no, fifth person moving away from the high end, the one wearing the green and gold brocade?"
"Got him. Brocade? That is a man firmly convinced of his machismo." Don quipped.
"Don, take a look around … there are all sorts of men, from rail-thin foppish types to overbuilt like bears types, dressed in brocades and silks, not to mention the scads of velvet and satin. It really doesn't look that far out of place from what I recall of my Western Civilizations studies."
"Nor from mine … but the fop in the baby-blue and pink frills?" Don shook his head, "You can't tell me that one's a warrior type."
"Don't judge the book by the cover, Eppes. Luitgar and I watched that man take apart an opponent in the fencing list right after Lady Marguerite and Sir Cathaoir's little demonstration." Don wondered if Megan had even noticed that she'd used Larry Fleinhardt's SCA name.
Before he could respond, the hall erupted with blaring horns sounding an off-key fanfare, even as the man from the earlier announcement stepped back into the center area. "Lords, Ladies and Gentlefolk … the King and Queen of Caid!"
The crowned couple Don had seen talking with Colby, damn, Cathaoir earlier came into the hall at the end furthest away from the high table and with great bearing and careful pacing, slowly and regally made their way to the ornate chairs at the center of the high table and took their seats. Apparently, this was some sort of unspoken signal to the costumed revelers, for as nearly one massive body; they all took their seats on the benches at the lower tables.
Soon after that, there was a flurry of movement at the doors behind the high table and a battalion of servers carrying platters or flagons invaded the hall, passing out the goodies on their plates according to rank. Don and Megan got a chance to grab disposable cups of apple cider and then a whole grain roll stuffed with … Don wasn't sure he wanted to look too close … some sort of spicy, ground meat. He couldn't help but notice the whole meats being served to the high table and the cold meats being presented for the tables just below that. "Must be nice to be the king."
Megan nodded. "From what I recall, this is fairly accurate … I'm pretty sure they'd have the dogs running loose and digging through hay on the floor for bones if the county and state health inspectors wouldn't throw a massive conniption fit."
"Feudal system … glad I didn't live back then … this is all sorts of non-equality in action." Don had finished his meat-stuffed roll and started to sip, slowly, on the cider, as he wasn't entirely sure the stuff hadn't fermented.
"We still have the separation of the haves and have-nots, you know that, Eppes."
"Yeah, it's just not this in-your-face."
The two agents fell into a companionable silence as they kept their eyes on Eduardo Rojas, until he happened to gaze in their direction, then they took turns not looking at him. Soon the tables were cleared and the Master of Ceremonies stepped forward again to announce the First of the Laurels. It was for one of the young squires, fighters, who had show himself to be well-trained in archery earlier in the day, but not quite good enough to be named Champion of the list. That went to an older gentleman who looked enough like the young squire that neither Don nor Megan were surprised to hear he was the squire's father.
They suffered through six more awards, mostly for the younger participants and those from the arts and sciences and equestrian events, before things started to perk up. There was a reading of names of those Marshals, the combat referees, who were retiring from active duties, and the awarding of new Marshal appointments, including the only All-Around Marshal card going to Sir Cathaoir Fridrikssen.
The first combat skills award, or laurel, was handed out to the Sword on Sword (no shields) competitors and Don surprised himself by no longer being stunned that women were just as spirited in their fighting as the men. The Champion of the Sword on Sword was a woman going only by the name of "Crowslark" and, after getting a good look at the raven-haired beauty, Don was willing to admit he wouldn't want to piss that particular female off. The next two laurels were given for Pole Arm combatants and the Archers, then the Master of Ceremonies beckoned toward where Eduardo Rojas was standing on the side lines and the lawyer stepped forward.
"In the Sword on Shield combat, the competition ended in what the Marshals would only call a draw, but as one of the winners is a past Champion with no desire to serve in that role while also serving as a Pelican, Sir Luitgar von Helwig has deferred to Sir Eleuterio de Escarra Ruiz." The gathered crowd applauded politely for Rojas', giving Don the impression that the lawyer wasn't as well liked as other fighters in the Society. No one protested as four federal agents moved in even as a fifth dressed in leather armor over chainmail and leather pants, also stepped forward from his place on the raised dais to stand directly beside the MC. What seemed to stun the audience into a crashing silence was the way the Sir Cathaoir had laid a hand on the arm of the MC, effectively stopping the older gentleman from laying the wreath of mock laurels on the bowed head of Sir Eleuterio.
"Halt, Sir Nikodim." Cathaoir turned to face the thrones even as Sir Eleuterio surged to his feet with a silent snarl of rage. "Your Majesties, I beg forgiveness, but Mundane duties of mine take precedent over my duties here as a newly carded Marshal." Colby turned back to face Rojas, and Don almost felt sorry for putting Granger into a position where his real life job came to light in front of all his fellow achronistic enthusiasts. Almost.
"Eduardo Rojas…" Colby had pulled his badge out from under his armor and held it up for Rojas to see. "…You're under arrest."
As he'd hoped, and had predicted to David prior to the Feast, the murdering scum tried to bolt, only to run smack into Sinclair. Then Granger had come up from behind - literally taking a flying leap off the dais - and the two agents took Rojas down so fast and cuffed him that it was over before the crowd could draw a collective breath.
Don stepped up to Rojas, who had been hauled back to his feet by Granger, and looked the seething man directly in his dark brown eyes. "Did you think you'd be able to get away with murder of cops, Rojas? Did you honestly think the LAPD and the FBI would be so stupid as to miss the connections between you and a certain drug cartel? Or that Officer Robert Harris and DEA Agent Martha Graysen hadn't left clues behind as to who the hell killed them?" The lawyer was smart enough to stay silent and Reeves and Sinclair dragged him out of the hall, to thunderous applause from the crowd.
Maggie Undiano and Granger took the acclaim in stride and just bowed gracefully, then lead Don out of the cleared area and the hall. "They think its part of the entertainment, Don, that's all." Maggie explained as the three of them moved away from the hall. She looked over her shoulder, then shrugged. "I'm heading back to my tent. I might as well slither off in silence and pray my participation in tonight's events quickly gets overwhelmed by the rumors of Sir Cathaoir's heroic encounter with a wanted killer."
Don watched as Maggie slipped off into the dark, and then turned to Granger. "Are you going to be in trouble for what you did in there, Colby?"
"Nah. I explained to the current King and Queen and Chief Kingdom Marshal what was up and why we had to take Rojas down when and where we did."
"But what Maggie suggested.…" Don questioned the younger agent.
Colby shrugged, making the leather plate armor he was wearing creak. "Society members will take the story and embellish it so much that by the time they travel to An Tir's West War, I'll have taken Sir Eleuterio down bare-handed and armorless while he came at me with live steel. Then I'll spend the week telling the 'real' story, which no one will believe by the way, and the whole incident will become SCA folklore."
Don couldn't help but laugh, the way Colby explained the grapevine of the SCA sounded a lot like the rumor mills that operated on any college or university campus across the world. Once he calmed down enough to speak without chortling, Don gave Colby one last order for the day. "Pencil a rough report on your part of the arrest, give it to me or Reeves, then get back to your weekend off, Sir Cathaoir."
"Thank you, Sir Eppes." Granger bowed, then turned back to enter the hall, where events had obviously continued after the departure of the law and their prisoner. Don was surprised to see a pretty blonde dressed as a wench - as he had learned over the course of the day's events - come out of the hall to greet Colby, then the two of them disappeared into the darkness on the other side of the hall. Maybe there was something to be said about the attraction women had for guys in armor.
"Too bad Kevlar doesn't count here." Don muttered to himself as he started the long walk back to his car.
End
After Notes: Many of the events and actions that I have attributed to the Society for Creative Anachronism are partially based on fact, but are not exact and that was not done to disrespect the SCA, it's Kingdoms, Baronies or Shires. Nor was any disrespect meant toward the people who make the SCA such a lovely way to spend a weekend (observing) or way, way too much money and time on such things as armor, period clothing and other 'archaic' devices and skills (participants). One event in the story that definitely would NOT take place at any SCA Sanctioned Event is the forfeiting of Armor in a tournament or demonstrative bout. That is something I took directly from my Western Civilizations studies from the period surrounding Black Prince Edward.
After Notes 2: I meant what I said earlier about 'warnings' - if you have, after everything I wrote earlier, read this entire story and have only just NOW decided that I have somehow 'upset your tender, delicate' moral compass … it's your own damn fault. No sense complaining to me; I DID, after all and against my better judgment, WARN YOU!