A/N: Thank you so much for all your lovely reviews. They really help me write better, and make less mistakes. Enjoy the last chapter, I really hope you like it.
JD's POV
It's really hot, and floaty. I feel like I'm floating on a cloud that's sitting in an oven. Huh…Maybe I'm dead and I went to heaven. Is heaven supposed to be hot? I thought it was all tropical weather…not too cool not to hot. I can't be in hell, I mean it's not enough that I had a crappy life that they have to put me through real hell as well? Speaking of which, it smells like sacred heart. That weird spell of disinfectant and medicine that I live and breathe all the time, is assaulting my nostrils right now. Maybe I'm not dead then. I'm in the hospital…what am I doing here? Did I sleep through a shift? Oh god, Dr Cox will eat me alive. I bolt upright, at the thought, but don't quite make it to a sitting position. In fact, by bolting upright, I pretty much mean jerking very slightly. I did put the effort into it though. Looking around, I can now see that I'm lying on a bed in one of the private patient rooms. For a second I'm confused about what's going on but then I remember everything. The little girl dying, the accident, the janitor, Turk and Carla's worried faces. Wow, it's so hot in here, I'm sweating all over. There's a dull ache in my chest and around my ribs. I can see that my leg is elevated, which sucks, I hate it when I can't walk. I know all the times when I'll actually want to dance, will be during the time when my leg is broken. It's just how my stupid life works. Anyway, other than these minor aches, nothing hurts too badly, even though I feel like every movement is like running a marathon. Just turning my head is tiring. I think I'm just going to lay here, looking to one side, its too difficult to move my head back now. At least it's the good side. I can see the door, and a very bald head that's lulling from side to side. Oh wait, that's Turk, he's sleeping on a chair. Ouch, that's going to hhhhhhhurt when he wakes up. I can see someone coming into the room, but my vision is a little blurry so I have no clue who it is, that's until..
"Good morning Miranda! How nice of you to visit us from that lovely little fairy tale world you so often spend your time in. Did your prince-si-poo give you a kissie kiss to wake you up?" He then looks around to Turk and then continues "Looks like you kissed him from the looks of it Jenny, he is now in fact the sleeping beauty. Which would make you the prince but that's just not right. Now, how's about you listen and listen really well because I will not say this again. If you pull a stunt like this again, and I swear newbie, I'll kill you with my own bare hands. Ya got that?"
"Stunt? What stunt?" I ask, All I did was wake up. And the accident was so not my fault. He can't chew me out for that.
"Lets see, getting hit by a truck, prior to which you were being a busy body and trying to do y-everything possible to tire your girlie little body out. Coincidentally, not eating, sleeping and basically spending all your time pulling the weight of our collective asses has now landed you with a first class infection, after breaking a leg, nicking an artery, breaking several ribs, a collapsed lung and a concussion. So I say it again, ya ever scare us like this, you won't live to tell the tale, and I'm going to make sure of that. Got it?"
How does he know all this…Wait, was he worried about me? Does he really care? He does care. I might get that hug after all! Dr Cox cares about me…he was actually scared for me. Dammit, this is so a dancing moment!
"I'm sorry" I say, but I'm not. It was so worth it. If almost getting myself killed can get Dr cox to care, then Janitor bring it on. You can practice all your elaborate pranks on me!
"Yes well, how about you put yourself to some use and help us fight this infection newbie. Its not like this hospital isn't a hell hole enough, without us having to deal with being short staffed because you can't get you sorry ass out of this bed."
"Oh…right. I will." I'm almost disappointed he said that, maybe he only cares about me because he's over worked when he has to pull my weight. He's turning to leave now but I can tell that he's got something on his mind. He's fighting with himself, trying to say something. I hope its not another rant. I think I might fall asleep again if he does. I feel the need to say this, because I feel like he deserves to know, specifically if he only needs me as a doctor.
"Dr Cox, the little girl that coded before my accident, that was my fault…"
"No it wasn't." He says simply. I just blink at him. That's not what I expected him to say at all. Then he continues. "The report that came back from her postmortem suggests that she had a rare blood disease that's only found in Cuba, There's no way you could have caught that in time.
"Oh" I did not know that. He turns his body half way around to leave again, and I just wish he would come back and give me a hug. But what he does say, makes me happier that I could ever be.
"Hey Newbie…welcome back" He says before turning around and leaving. I can't help but smile at this. He does care! Yes Dr Cox, I will be you Son! I know you wanted to ask me this but I understand anyways. It's the father and son connection!
Someone else just walked in. Oh its Carla, I know this because I can hear her shoes. She has this confident sort of noise that her shoes make when she walks.
"Hey Bambi" She says as she comes and stands right next to me. I can feel the warmth of her hand as she brushes it against my cheek. She does that when she's feeling particularly motherly.
"Hey Carla" I say softly. I'm just starting to hear myself properly and my voice sounds tired. Not horse but soft, like I'm whispering by default.
"How you feeling?" she asks softly, matching my voice.
"Tired, and really hot."
"That's the infection. But don't worry, we've got fluids pumping into you as we speak, you'll be fighting this off in no time." Her voice seems to crack. A flashback of her worried eyes comes back to me from before I went unconscious.
"Bambi, I'm so sorry! I've been such a horrible friend to you. I know you must have felt so abandoned because of Turk and I, but I promise you, things will change. Everything will be fine. We're here for you now ok?"
Wow, is she psychic? How did she know that was what I was feeling? Did I talk in my sleep or something? Oh Well, I'm just glad she's here now. That's all that matters.
"Its ok Carla. I'm sorry I scared you earlier. And I know I've been imposing myself on you guys…"
"No no, you haven't. Bambi, you've been the perfect friend from the beginning, we've been so preoccupied with our own lives that we started treating you badly. Right now, you just focus on becoming better ok, and when you get out of here, I promise you, you'll never feel alone or like you're imposing yourself on us ever again. We love you Bambi, you're our family and we'll take care of you, just like you've been doing for us!"
"Thanks Carla!" I can't believe this, its like a miracle. My life is finally getting out of the crapper.
"V-bear?" Oh Turk woke up!
"What's up brown bear?" I ask, again sounding like I have cotton stuffed in my mouth.
"How's my player?"
"On top of his game!" I say, mustering all the enthusiasm I can in my voice. It comes out sounding lame because my voice is still weak, or maybe because I'm white. Carla just nods at Turk and me and leaves the two of us alone.
Turk becomes all serious. He looks tired. "You okay brown bear?"
"Yea." He chuckle, in this humorless sort of way. Like I've said something ironic.
"Its funny that you should ask me that, when I haven't even bothered to ask you if you're okay for the past three weeks." Turk seems so depressed that I just want to give him a hug. I don't know how all my friends suddenly know exactly how I've been feeling, but I never wanted them to feel guilty about it. It's not really their fault that they have lives of their own and I don't.
"Hey, its ok buddy, you were busy, I get that."
"No man, its not even like that. I've been selfish and I'm sorry. You know I love you JD, in a non- gay way. And I don't ever want to lose you. Not because of some freak accident, and definitely not because I've been a horrible best friend."
"You haven't…"
"I have and I'm sorry but that's going to change. Just come back to us man. We miss you, I miss the JD who told me everything. I'm there for you buddy, just come back."
"Thanks" I can't honestly think of anything else to say. The truth is, I needed to hear this. I've been feeling so alone that I couldn't pull myself out of my own mess. I needed to know that my friends had my back. I guess that's all I need in life, things start to look so much better when I know I have people who care about me.
I didn't realize when I had fallen asleep, but the next time I wake up, It's dark in the room. I can't see very well and I'm still feeling a hot. The air in the room is some how less accessible to me than it was before. I feel like I have to think about breathing to actually breathe. The ache in my chest is back, and it's just a tad stronger than before. The morphine must be wearing off. Something else is different, but I can't put my finger on it. That is until it shifts a little. Someone is sleeping at the foot of my bed. All I can make out in the dark is blonde hair, contrasting the white bed sheets, but that's all the information I need.
"Elliot?" What is with my voice? Someone press the volume button please.
"JD?" Well at least her voice sounds a lot like mine, but that's her sleepy voice. I know that one for sure…so many wonderful mornings were spent submerged in dreams that were brought to reality by that voice.
"Hey, get your own bed, this one's taken." I say. I know I sound lame, but its gotta be seriously uncomfortable sleeping like that, with half her body on the floor.
"Oh JD, you're awake!" She says in a shrill voice, as she gets up and comes over to my side. As my eyes begin to adjust to the darkness, I can see her face more clearly. She looks so beautiful, but at the same time, more exhausted than I've ever seen her. Her eyes look puffy and there are tear tracks all over her cheeks. Her hair is a mess, with her bangs are covering most of her features. "How you feeling?" She asks, putting her freezing cold hand on my forehead. This time though, it's a welcome gesture, I'm so hot I could cook something on my head.
"Hot." I say simply. She nods in understanding.
"You still have a fever from the infection."
"Yea. What time is it?"
She looks at her watch and I wonder how she can make out the time in such darkness. They should make watches that ell you the time when you ask for it instead of looking at it. Imagines a little gnome sitting on his writst. Hey, Mr. scuttle, what time is it? Go get a real watch asshole. Maybe, they shouldn't have a personality though.
"Its just after 2 in the morning. It's been a day since your surgery."
"Elliot, go home. You shift ended ages ago." I say, genuinely concerned for her.
"I…" her voice breaks, and she begins to cry so hard, that I'm honestly shocked. I don't think I said anything t bring this on.
"Hey its ok…" I say, reaching up to her face to wipe away the new tear tracks that are brimming on her cheeks.
"No, I…I just can't stop thinking about what a close call this was." People keep saying that, but for some reason it's not hit me yet. I mean the feeling, not the truck. That so hit me
"JD…I'm soo…" oh God not another apology
"I know." I say, I really do. Some how, I know she has suddenly found a new appreciation for me and that she wants to apologize for whatever she thinks she's done to me. But I don't need to hear it. I just want her to be ok, and to be my friend like she used to be.
"No..I…" She's already having trouble with being coherent, so I decide to save her the trouble all together.
"Elliot. It's ok. I know." I say soothingly, and hope that my eyes are conveying the message clearly. She seems to understand, because she nods and then leans over to give me a kiss on my cheek.
"Thank you…for everything." She whispers in my ear. For some reason these simple words seem so erotic that I'm almost tempted to grab her face and kiss her passionately, But I remind myself that she's dating Keith and that I don't have the strength to do anything right now.
"What are friends for?" I say, with a small smile. She smiles back. She's going to be ok, I feel. Something in her whole demeanor seems to change now, I guess she's relieved that things are ok between us. I'm not sure why everyone thinks I despise them, but it's always nice to know that they care, whether I do or not.
We make small talk for a little bit, before I admit to being tired and slightly out of breath. She seems to make a few adjustments to all the equipment I'm attached to, that's just outside my line of vision, and suddenly I can't seem to keep my eyes open any longer. Oh, she kicked up the happy juice…I love you morphine.
………………
Everyone has come to visit me today, Laverne, Ted, Dr Kelso, Carla, Turk, Elliot and even Jordan. Dr Cox seems to be the most frequent visitor. He keeps coming in for something or other and seems to linger outside my door all the time. I don't think he realizes that I've noticed. I won't say anything, just in case he stops. My bedside table is now overflowing with flowers, chocolates and Cards. Turk even brought Rowdy in for a few minutes. I feel pretty good at the moment. The only person who hasn't come by, and I don't know why I expect him to, is the janitor. I've already told Ted that I don't want to press any charges and I requested that Dr Kelso not take any actions, not that I think he would have, but I just wanted to make sure. Of course, Dr. Kelso seems to think I'm a pansy, but what's new there? I've been staring at the sealing for a a good hour now, and am seriously bored, I'm just about to dose off when I see the Janitor walk in.
"Janitor!" I'm trying my best to sound like I'm happy to see him. I don't want him to think I hate him. I don't know why though, I'm pretty convinced he hates me. I wish I wasn't always trying to be so friendly, it doesn't work in my favor, but I can't change who I am. Stupid personality!
"uh.." He's shuffling his weight, is he nervous? He looks nervous, how odd. I never thought I'd live to see the day. "Look Dorian…I'm…uh.."
I wait for a few seconds, encouraging him to continue, but nothing happens.
"Listen Janitor. I know you didn't mean for this to happen. I also know that coming here and facing up to this is hard for you. So if you let me, I'm going to let you off the hook here. I know you don't like me, and you probably never will. That's something I have to deal with. But for now, I don't hate you, I wish you wouldn't do these things, because I'm not sure I can bounce back like you always expect me to, but I don't hate you for it. I hope some day you might hate me less, but again, that's just me. In the main time, lets just keep all the crazy stuff on the down low, I'm not sure I'm ready to be harassed yet, and I won't be able to stop Carla from hurting you if you try anything like this again. I know this sucks for you though. So don't worry. you're off the hook." I sound so magnanimous, but honestly, I just feel sorry for him.
"You don't get it!" He says, which surprises me, because I was expecting him to accept the fact that I wasn't going to crush his pride. "I'm not here just because I did this to you. Yea, I feel like something's eating me inside, but that's not just it. I don't…I don't hate you okay. I thought you knew that. I just…this is how I am…I can't be any other way. But I don't hate you, you think I'd spend so much time making you miserable if I actually hated you?"
"You know, that's a tough one"
"Ok fine, lets just lay this down nice in straight for ya. I don't hate you, but this is how I connect with you. " Somehow, this isn't news to me, and neither is this a bad thing.
"Okay." I say simply.
"And for what its worth, I don't think I can handle the more…extravagant pranks anyway. So, I sorry about that." He said SORRY! Wow, almost dying has really brought out the sensi side in people
"Yea, I'd like to keep my body intact from now on."
And then he said something, I only dreamt he would.
"So….we still friends?" He considers me a friend?!!! Janitor thinks I'm his friend. I need to do the happy dance right now!! This has to be the best day of my life! Only second to Dr Cox admitting that he cares about me, and some day I will get that hug, even if I have to fake my own funeral for it.
"Yea." I say, calmly, trying not to ruin this awesome moment. Then he nods and leaves. I watch his retreating back, and smile. Things are going to be a lot more different around here. That is until he turns right around, takes down my TV.
"Hey!" I say indignantly
"Its broken." He says, behind his back. Well, maybe not that different. However, I do notice that he's left me something on my bedside, that I hadn't noticed before. It's a penny, and for once I'm not afraid of it. I think he's just called a truce, even though he's probably still going to be the pain in the butt he normally is. Maybe, though, just maybe, I won't have to go through quite so many accidents around here anymore.
Yes, life was certainly good.
…………..
My fever broke that same night and the infection seemed to have worked its way out of my system. I was discharged the next day, but was put on total bed rest because of the pain in my lungs, which, not surprisingly, increased ten fold after I was taken off of morphine. Also, having a broken leg and coming our of major heat and lung surgeries meant, I wasn't going to be able to walk anyway. I was going to be on crutches for a while once my "lying on my butt" period was over. Even though all of this sucked, it was still a comfort to know that all my friends were there for me the whole time. I was still trying not to be a burden on any of them, but it seemed I had little say in all of it. People were constantly bickering about who got to take me with them. In fact, Elliot was not talking to Turk because he wasn't letting me stay with her. I, personally just wanted to go to my own bed, but it seemed that it wasn't an option.
Carla was in her ultra-motherly mode and there was just no arguing with her about anything. I was under her constant care, whenever she was not on a shift, and I felt like I was going to be smothered to death. Dr Cox, too seemed to be slightly jumpy around me, and would yell at people for being incompetent if I so much as sneezed. Elliot practically lived with me, Turk and Carla, for the few days that I was in their house. It felt good to be so taken care of.
In two weeks, when I finally got back to work, I only had a slight limp and my lungs seemed to be behaving themselves. Turk and Carla threw a big welcome back party in the cafeteria and everyone sang Journey for me! I admit that I was the loudest, but hey, its "Journey". In the next few days things settled down and everyone stopped expecting me to drop dead any second, which was a good thing because I was tired of being smothered. The thing that didn't change though was the feeling of having people around me that I could rely on. It was like we had all struck this balance, I made sure that I didn't constantly dump myself on my friends and made an effort to take care of them, and in return, they all made sure that they were there for me without me asking them to be there. Even the Janitor seemed to be doing his bit. He still pulled small pranks and made sure everyone else knew that we weren't friends, but there were the small gestures, like holding the door open, not pulling roadside pranks and occasionally smiling at me when I walked by.
Life was good. So good in fact that I realized that I didn't have much to complain about when it came right down to it. I had a great job, good friends and a good life. As for my love life, well, I still have a long life to live I hope, someone will come around. In the main time, I had a support system I could count on to keep me sane.
A/N: I hope you liked this fic. Let me know what you though of everything. I'm going to start a new fic seen, so please review for this one and also tell me if you like something specific that I should continue in other fics. Thnk you so much for reading!