A/n: I really feel bad for our French teacher….

Disclaimer: If you really want to know, go read "Oi, Where'd You Get That Ice Cream!?" Dave will explain things very clearly….

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Things Roy Mustang has to deal with on a weekday:

Roy Mustang added a colon with an unneeded flourish. Hawkeye had been taking him to therapy and his physiatrist recommended many ways of venting extreme emotions like anger and frustration. One way was to write a letter to the subject of the emotion. Of course, Roy was so concentrated on writing his letter that he missed the part where the psychiatrist said that you rip it up after and you don't actually send it. The next week, Edward had stormed into his office and nearly beat him to a pulp.

Another way, the doctor had said, was to write a list. It can help you organize your emotions and thoughts. That morning, Roy really didn't want to do paperwork, less than usual, if you can believe it, and he didn't want to be shot because he wasn't doing anything. He thought that if he looked like he was doing something, Hawkeye would take it that he was working.

Number 1… Roy tapped his chin with the end of his pen.

Riza Hawkeye turned to see the Colonel scribbling ferociously with a large, childish smile on his face. Suspicious… she doubted that he was actually doing his work.

"Sir, are you making any progress on those reports?"

"…" No answer.

Riza frowned and went back to her work.

After a few more minutes of the scratching of Roy's pen, he quickly capped it and laid it down on his desk. He read over the list one more time and nodded, satisfied.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Riza was packing up, the last one to leave the office. As she gathered up the last of the completed paperwork to put in the OUT box, she came across an unfamiliar piece of paper. The heading read: Things Roy Mustang has to deal with on a weekday:

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Things Roy Mustang has to deal with on a weekday:

Getting up

A scary woman subordinate who has a dead good aim and stares down my back all day…

A daughter-obsessed idiot devoted to me

Rain

A subordinate who has such a bad love life that I can steal his girlfriend and he still cant get a date with another officer's sister

The aforementioned officer with the sister…cannot even begin to explain- Oh No! Pink sparkles! (runs and hides behind scary woman subordinate)

Bratty short kids who won't shut up about some damned stone that no one knows exists!

Annoying dogs who demand paychecks

A subordinate with no eyes

A subordinate with four eyes

A suit of armor

Paperwork

Miniskirt-less-ness

Homunculi

Chimeras

A boss that turns out to be a homunculus and deadly with his infinity-number of swords

Palm trees

Men with Diaries-cough-journals

An evil scar-faced guy who likes to blow up stuff

Another psychotic guy who likes blowing up stuff (he really should go see my therapist, it might be good for him and all of our safety)

A homunculus (a/n: and authoress) with ADD

Damn Ishval

Getting shot at

Why wont Riza go out with me? Oh right, the fraternization laws

Those Damn Fraternization laws!

Being this handsome

Writing unexplainable lists like this one…

Riza chuckled and made to throw the list into the wastebasket, but thought better of it. Instead, she pocketed the sheet. This'll be great blackmail material…

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A/n: Lani: Heehee. I liked writing this story. I had the idea for it.

Alice: I came up with some of them

Lani: So did i. But I wrote the story…

Alice: True, true…

Lani: Ha! You admit it! Now, hair styling time!

Alice: NOOOOOO!!!!! (runs away)

Lani: Well, now that she's left, I may as well say it. Please please please review! But no flames! If you do flame, I will email them to Alaska, where I'm sure the need some warmth! Bai bai! Vengance OUT!