Title: Pancakes and 'Partments

Summary: Usually, when Sasuke woke to the feeling of foreign chakra present in his home, it was because ninja from rival nations were attempting to assassinate him for his bloodline ability. Either that or one of his more intelligent stalkers finally figured out how to pick the new locks on his front door.

Category: General

Length: One-shot, to be continued? I don't know, this was just an exercise in character writing I've decided to share. There might be more. One day.

Time Frame: Let's say Sasuke has returned to Konoha, a few years have passed, Team Seven is in their late teens, and all is right with the world. Well, almost.

Rating: T

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Usually, when Sasuke woke to the feeling of foreign chakra present in his home, it was because ninja from rival nations were attempting to assassinate him for his bloodline ability. Either that or one of his more intelligent stalkers finally figured out how to pick the new locks on his front door.

Sasuke blinked in the pre-dawn darkness, hand tightening on a recently sharpened kunai tucked under his pillow. The intruder was still in the house, but was not moving any closer to the bedroom. In fact, from what he could hear, he or she seemed to be in the kitchen engaged in battle with some of his pans and a couple of eggs.

Another crash came from the kitchen. "Ah! Damn it! Of all the freakin' monkey-covered…"

Hm.

Definitely loosing the battle with the pans. Sasuke's shoulders loosened. In his experience, assassins did not cook targets breakfast, and fan-girls came with gourmet dishes (usually fixed by their mothers). Thus, noisy kitchen intruder could only be one person.

Sasuke yawned (a pleasure he only indulged in the safety and solitude of his room) and rolled out of bed, absentmindedly slipping the kunai into the waistband of his boxers and grabbing a shirt which had been tossed carelessly to the floor the previous night.

Lightly kicking his bedroom door open with his foot, he tugged on the shirt as he made his way to the kitchen. He paused to lean against the kitchen doorframe, crossing his arms and letting his eyes adjust to the light as he contemplated the wrongness of the scene that greeted him.

Kitchen intruder had finally figured out how to turn the stove on and was busy stirring some kind of pale, pasty-yellow batter in a large bowl. He kept his back turned to Sasuke. Apparently stirring this batter required such intense concentration that Sasuke went undetected. Or, Sasuke was being purposefully ignored. Sasuke liked to think he knew kitchen intruder fairly well, and decided to blame incompetence. Which meant it was up to Sasuke to start the conversation.

"Naruto." The grunt served as both "good morning" and a friendly enquiring "what the hell are you doing at the crack of dawn in my house with kitchen utensils?"

The blond jumped and whirled to face Sasuke, splattering batter onto the wall with the mixing spoon clutched tight in his flailing hands. "Gah, don't scare me like that, Bastard!" Naruto's shout was accompanied by an accusatory finger. Sasuke looked at the finger, and raised an eyebrow. Naruto flushed. "Fine then! Good morning to you too, Ass!" He turned away, flustered, and resumed stirring.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. Now he knew he was being purposefully ignored. Sasuke hated to repeat himself, but felt it was necessary. "Naruto." This time the grunt also meant "my next question will be accompanied by the kunai you know I have hidden somewhere on my person."

Naruto finished stirring and set the spoon down on the counter next to the stove. "Yeah?"

"What are you doing?"

"Um, I'm kind of busy right now." Naruto leaned over the stove and poured the batter into small circular blobs into the frying pan.

Sasuke scowled. If Naruto was going to make him talk this much in the morning, he was going to be utterly unpleasant and condescending about it. More than usual anyway. "Yes, I see that. However, what I would like to know is why, exactly, are you 'busy' in my kitchen?"

Naruto laughed nervously and turned toward Sasuke with a grin. "Well, see, it's a funny story, he-he..." He set his bowl down and scratched at his cheek, smearing batter on his face.

"Really?" Sasuke's sarcastic drawl went unnoticed by Naruto, as usual.

"Yup! And pretty long too."

Sasuke pushed off from the wall and drew a chair away from the kitchen table. Turning it around he sat down and rested one arm on the back of the chair as the other waved in a gesture for Naruto to continue his story.

Naruto still hesitated, clutching the batter bowl tight. "Are you sure you have the time? I mean, it can wait…"

Sasuke snorted. "Well, since you seem to be in no hurry to leave, please feel free to take the time to enlighten me."

This time, Naruto caught the sarcasm. His face scrunched up in displeasure as he narrowed his eyes and shook his free fist at Sasuke. "Fine Mr. Whiny McFussy Pants! Geeze, you should be grateful, here I am making you breakfast, and there you are, all in ice-cold snowman-bitc—"

"Naruto, as pleasant as it is listening to you list off all my finer characteristics, what I really want to know is why you are in my kitchen at five in the morning making such a racket instead of in your own!"

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Well, its' not like you have neighbors to worry about."

Sasuke's teeth clicked in displeasure. "Deadlast—"

"Really, truly, I'm not sure where my kitchen is right now." Naruto nonchalantly picked up the abandoned mixing spoon and licked it. Then he grimaced, apparently not liking the taste. "Ick." The rejected spoon was tossed to the sink, probably, with the expectation that Sasuke would wash it later.

Sasuke blinked and tried to process Naruto's answer. He failed. "What?"

Naruto looked up from where he was scraping eggshells off the counter. "I seem to have lost it. Or its lost me. Or something."

"Lost it?" Sasuke was… puzzled.

"Yup."

"As in, can't find it anymore?"

"Yup."

Despite Naruto's seemingly sincere explanations, Sasuke remained perplexed. "Naruto, enlighten me. How, exactly, does one lose an apartment?"

"Well, you know I just got back from that mission to Rain, right?" Naruto opened the refrigerator, eyes scanning the shelves.

Sasuke frowned. "Yes. You left me a note on my doorstep with those cacti."

Naruto glared, offended, at Sasuke. "It was only one cactus! The other was a-uh, what it's name, aloe-vena or something…" his voice trailed off as he browsed through the contents of Sasuke's refrigerator.

"Aloe Vera."

"Yeah, that's the one!" Naruto pulled a milk carton from the fridge and kicked the door shut.

"Use a glass."

Naruto looked at Sasuke crossly. "Oh, shut it, I only did that once and that was 'cuz I was finishing the carton anyways." Naruto stalked over to the sink.

"Those are dirty."

"I know that Ass-tard!" Naruto swiped an empty glass sitting next to the sink. "I used this one earlier, so I'm just gonna fill it up again. Okay with you, Mr. germphobiactric?"

"Germ phobic. The term is germ phobic."

Naruto poured the milk into his glass. "Whatever. What was I talking about again?"

"You returned from Rain."

Naruto nodded. "That's right, my cactus! Anyways, last time I asked you to go to my apartment and water my plants you forgot, so I thought if I just brought them to you it'd be easier for you to remember this time." Naruto downed the full glass of milk in one gulp, and sighed contentedly. He then proceeded to pour another one.

Sasuke, though slightly disgusted, was not going to let Naruto continue changing the subject. "Very considerate of you, but how is this connected with your inability to locate an eight story building?"

Naruto shrugged and waved his hand dismissively. "Oh well, that mission went like, way long you know. I was supposed to be gone like three weeks, and here I am just back a month and a half later---oohhh, I gotta get that, hold on a second." Naruto grabbed a spatula and rushed to flip the pancakes. However, in his haste he forgot to grab an oven mitt and burned his hand on the handle of the frying pan.

Naruto yelped.

Sasuke snorted. "Idiot."

"Shut up!" Naruto snarled at him, clearly not amused, and grabbed a towel so he could grip the frying pan.

Naruto finished flipping the pancakes. "That stings…" He shook his hand and stuck his burned fingers in his mouth.

Sasuke rolled his eyes and stood up. "Here," he caught Naruto's hand and brought it over to the sink. He twisted the water faucet to its' coldest setting and stuck Naruto's hand beneath the running water.

Sasuke ignored Naruto's brief protest of "it'll heal in 'bout an hour." Instead, he left Naruto at the sink for a moment and went searching for Naruto's beloved plant. It was still by the window where he had stashed it a little over a month ago. Fortunately, this time he remembered to water it (at least once) in Naruto's absence. Bending down, he slid his kunai from his waistband and cut a portion from the plant. Grabbing some bandages from the bathroom medicine cabinet he returned to Naruto, who fidgeted restlessly as Sasuke covered the burn with sap and bound his hand.

"I thought you knew how to cook properly, Deadlast." Sasuke gently tied off the bandages and wiped his kunai clean with a towel.

Naruto pouted. "I do! I do! I just always forget that pans get hot 'n stuff. 's why I have that alohavena." Naruto flexed his injured hand slowly.

"Aloe Vera." Sasuke gave a half-hearted correction as he returned his kunai to its' proper location and resumed his position at the kitchen table.

Naruto just nodded. "Yeah whatever. The one that's less spiky."

Sasuke sighed. "Moron."

Naruto stuck out his tongue. "Don't start, or I won't share my pancakes."

Sasuke tilted his head to the side and raised an eyebrow. "Technically it's my stove, and those are my eggs, and that's my…"

"Well it's my manual labor Duckhead, so back off!" Naruto waved the spatula wildly and busied himself at the stove. "Anyways, I came back from Rain and was dead tired and real hungry, but I can't pick up my pay till tomorrow 'cuz it was like, past midnight right? And I figured that I was pretty sure I still had some instant ramen stashed at my 'partment so thought I'd go straight there, heat it up, take a bath, and, well, got to my 'partment and it wasn't there."

Sasuke still was not sure he had a clear grasp of the situation. Time to clarify. "Again, Deadlast, what does 'it's not there' mean, exactly?"

"It means its not there twiddle-dee!" Naruto was so aggressive with his spatula he flipped a pancake too hard and it stuck to the ceiling. Naruto and Sasuke paused to stare at it for a moment.

Naruto threw back his shoulders, and cursing under his breath, looked for the best wall to use to climb to the ceiling. Sasuke strategically positioned a trashcan as Naruto climbed above the stove and crouched upside down on the ceiling, scraping pancake off the plaster with the spatula.

Sasuke returned to his chair and looked up at him. "What's a Twiddle-dee?"

Naruto grimaced as the last little pieces of pancake fluttered down to the trashcan. "Saw it in a movie once. N-ee-ways…" Naruto released his chakra and dropped to the floor, narrowly avoiding the trashcan. "It's not there. There's just this large patch of leveled dirt with a construction fence around it."

Sasuke frowned. "Construction fence?"

"Yup." Naruto picked some stray pieces of pancake off the floor.

Sasuke leaned forward, comprehension finally dawning. "Wait—you mean, they've leveled your apartment?"

Naruto poured the rest of the batter into the frying pan. "That's what it looks like. I mean, I'm not drunk or otherwise I'd totally think I'd be imagining things. But I'm not drunk. At all. Yet."

Sasuke sat back. "How is that legal?"

Naruto looked at him, puzzled. "Me drinking? It's not yet, but that hasn't stopped either of us before..."

Sasuke twitched in irritation. "I mean leveling your apartment without your permission, Moron."

"Dunno. Legals never mattered much in stuff with me." Naruto shrugged apathetically and scratched his cheek again, wincing as he finally realized he had dried batter on his face.

Sasuke watched Naruto cross over to the sink. "Do you know what's happened to your stuff?"

Naruto laughed as he splashed water on his face. "Hell, I can't even find my apartment Sasuke, much less what was in it!" He turned and grinned, rolling his shoulders back and leaning against the sink. "'Sides. I take all my 'portant stuff with me on missions anyhow, 'cuz I don't really live in the safest part of town, you know? And you had my plants. Nothin' much else to worry about."

Sasuke hated it when Naruto grinned like that. Naruto never could lie well. But he would not call him on it, not this morning anyways. Not today. Maybe tomorrow. Instead, Sasuke eyed the stove.

"Your pancakes are burning."

Naruto started. "Oh, crap."

"Towel."

"Yeah, yeah."

Sasuke rose to get orange juice and plates. He ignored the milk on the counter. He secretly despised milk, but it was easier to go out and buy it than listen to Naruto whine about Sasuke not owning any every time he stopped by the house. "What are you planning on doing?"

Naruto turned the stove off as he scraped the last of the pancakes off the frying pan. "Eh…Well, tomorrow I thought I'd go track my old land lord down and at least yell at him a bit." He tossed the frying pan in the sink alongside the mixing spoon. "Then I guess I'll go looking for a new place." Naruto grabbed the plate of pancakes and set it on the kitchen table next to his glass of milk. He ran a hand through his hair and watched Sasuke cautiously. "Thought I'd crash here for a while, if that's okay? I mean, normally I'd go to Iruka's, but it was four in the morning already and he has to wake up at seven to go teach and he gets so angry when shit like this…" Naruto trailed off, then laughed and grinned, stabbing a pancake with his fork.

Sasuke shrugged. "That's fine, Naruto. Just don't—" Sasuke stopped himself abruptly, struggling for the best words. Not today. Tomorrow maybe.

Naruto looked curiously at Sasuke. "Just don't what?"

Sasuke shook his head, then raised it toward Naruto. Just don't keep lying to me. Not to me. He tapped his finger on the table twice, and looked at Naruto gravely. "Just don't burn down my kitchen."

Naruto laughed, genuinely this time. "Umm…I'll try?"

"Hn."

"Pancakes?" Naruto grinned innocently, eyes twinkling as he pushed the plate forward in a peace offering.

Baby steps.

The phrase flashed through Sasuke's head. He leaned forward and speared a pancake on his fork, listening to his best friend's mindless chatter and wondering if he would ever be able to help heal Naruto as Naruto had helped to heal him.

The pancakes were surprisingly good, for five thirty in the morning.

He could get used to this.

The pancakes that is, not the five thirty in the morning part.

And not that he would ever tell Naruto that.

Baby steps.