Chapter 2: Draco's Story

No matter what happened between the two of us, I would always love her. Even after she married him. I know now that there was nothing I could do to stop those nuptials from happening. It pained me to see her with him, but she was happy. To me her smile would be worth my misery. I live for that smile and even now that she is with him I will continue to live for that grin.

I fell in love with her in our third year. Right after she hit me. She taught me something then, that for once someone was not going to let me walk all over them. I needed that though but I would not realize that lesson until my seventh year and I would not realize that I was in love with her till then either.

I was on my way to the dorms when I saw her walking out of the library and towards an empty classroom. I was very curious to what she was doing out so late and in an old room. I walked quietly towards the door and peeked in through the window. She was sitting on an old leather couch and a small fire was burning in front of her. And she was reading. It looked so peaceful as did she. Her hair was pulled away from her face and I could see her eyes tracing the page. I was entranced. I was so entranced that I missed the noise that brought her out of her trance and had her look up and right at me.

She said nothing, just smile and waved me in.

I walked towards her very confused, why would she invite me in. I had been nothing but cruel to her in all our years and yet she invited me in to her private sanctuary.

"I come here every night. Its so quiet and I am able to read in peace. Its calming you know, to be able to sit here with nothing but the sound of the wind and the crackling of the fire to keep me company. In here, I am not judged or ridiculed for anything but out there I see it in their eyes, the way they look at me. Its nice to know that in here I am free of everything but my own thoughts. That is why I read, to get away from even the thoughts that cloud my own head. I know you judge me, The Bookworm. As you and everyone else likes to call me, but if you knew why I read, what keeps me coming back to the same book over and over then I do not think you would judge me as readily as you have been known to."

And with that said she left the room.

This is where it started. I begun to meet with her every night in the abandoned classroom hoping she would let me in on her secret. She never did though. Our relationship started in that room and I have come to love it more than anything. Even now as I teach her children, I come here to think.

I know she is happy with him or at least I hope. It was a smart choice on her part, she said that she loved him but I do not believe it. I loved her more I know that that is a fact. I miss everything about her, everything about us. Even now twenty years later I still reminisce on what we were and I still sit here trying to figure out exactly why she kept coming back. Why she would continue to read the same book over and over, but most importantly I try to figure out what she wanted me to learn then.

The wind blows in and the fire is slowly dying down, I have been here long enough it is time to retire to bed. As I make way to the door, an owl enters the room with a letter for me.

Draco,

It has been a long time since I was last in your arms. I still miss the feel of them around me, of your tender kisses on my face. I think of you often even when I should not but I do. I sometimes think what life would have been like if I had chosen you but then the tears fall. It hurts to think that I may have made a mistake in letting you go, but it had to be done.

I keep your letter with me always, I have it hidden in my favorite book. I read it everyday, several times even. It hurts me to know that you still have such strong feelings for me. All I want for you is the best. I know you have yet to marry, and I do hope that is not because of me. I would never have wished that upon you.

I would love to see you sometime, to talk. How have I missed our conversations so easy they were. We could fight for hours over anything and then make up in the best way imaginable. Sometimes I pretend… scratch that. I should not have even thought that.

Do you remember when we first begun our affair of sorts? In the classroom?

Well, I think now would be the best time to tell you why I read so much.

The reason I read so much is because in a book you can feel everything you want and pour yourself into it. You can play make believe and act as if you are the heroine in the story, you can feel as she does, suffer as she does, love as she does. And its just a book, you can get so caught up in someone else's emotions that you are able to forget about your own. Its relieving to know that for a short span you do not matter, that you do not exist. All of your problems are no longer important. It is one of the most unselfish things you can do as a human. To put someone else's story ahead of yours.

Remember to live,

Hermione