I found a quip by Norman Rubin about the tanuki and kitsune being a pair of "mischievous rogues who often get themselves into trouble" in Japanese folklore and ran with it. The result is some heavy-duty (if relatively clean) crackfic.

NaruGaaSaku OT3, post-time-jump spoilers. Naruto and associated characters belong to Kishimoto, not me, and I make no money off of this work.

If Tsunade wasn't mistaken, the boys were up to something.

She wouldn't have thought that Naruto's penchant for troublemaking would prove contagious. But with the way the blond stood close by Gaara, glancing about furtively—he was definitely up to something. And as for Gaara . . . She hadn't known that he could hold up his end of a conversation, let alone manage to look conspiratorial.

"They have a day off, a chance to relax for once," she muttered. "They'll do that rather than cause trouble, right?"

From her right, Gai made a noncommittal noise but said nothing.

"Besides," she mused out loud, "if anything, they should be affecting each other for the better. Naruto could help Gaara become a little more social, and Gaara might even be able to help show Naruto how to be more . . . mature." The Fifth Hokage smiled. Sand's Kazekage did seem to be explaining something to Naruto, who nodded enthusiastically at the other's gestures. Of course, she thought. "See, look at them. They're guiding each other, in the best direction for both of our villages."

Konoha's original Beautiful Green Beast glanced at her from the corner of his eye. "You want to bet on it?"

Luck was with her; she knew it.

As she opened her mouth to accept the challenge, a shift of the wind brought her snippets of the previously inaudible conversation.

"But they can't be real!"

"They might be, though. Just think—"

Tsunade's jaw snapped shut fast enough for her teeth to click together.

"Come on," Naruto objected. "When's the last time you saw a pair that big that were natural?"

"Aside from the obvious?"

"Oh, yeah. Don't know how I forgot about those . . ." After a second, the blond grinned, scratched his scalp, and tried again. "Are you even sure those were real?"

"Yes. I'm certain." A pause—and then, so faintly she almost missed it: "I touched them."

"Hey, hey, I didn't know you were on that good of terms!"

"It was a personal favor."

A glance at Gai for confirmation that she was really hearing what she thought she was hearing confirmed only that the shinobi was unobtrusively looking down her shirt.

"Gai . . ."

He jumped. "Well, you do use the genjutsu to change your—"

"Gai!"

Leaf might be down one jounin by the time she was done.

Apparently Naruto and Gaara were too caught up in their discussion to pay attention to them. And if their barely audible topic shift was any indication . . .

"But you have the absolute defense—"

"I can't do it. I have diplomatic ties to uphold, the alliance to worry about—"

"But if I do it, I'll get killed!"

They wouldn't.

Tsunade turned back to Gai as she heard him draw breath, guessing what his words would be by his expression. "If you say anything about the 'curiosity and determination of youth' . . ." She cracked her knuckles pointedly.

At least the man had the decency to look offended. Unfortunately, her attention had been diverted just long enough for the co-conspirators to come to a decision. Naruto wrung his hands and grinned inanely as they approached. In stark contrast, Gaara's features were completely emotionless. If she didn't have to beat them both simple, she might later commend them for keeping their eyes on her face.

"Hokage," Gaara stated, the un-emotive tone of his voice as carefully within the proper bounds of respect as his short nod of greeting. She expected almost anything from there—a carefully phrased question, a curious glance at her front, even a calculated bump against her. She definitely hadn't expected the speed with which the boy's slim, pale hand shot forward.

Neither had Gai.

The jounin yelped when Gaara grabbed onto his left eyebrow, then shrieked when the redhead gave it two firm yanks.

Apparently satisfied, Gaara turned back to Naruto as he nonchalantly brushed his hand off against his leg. Tsunade found herself disturbed by the number of short hairs that fell away from his fingers. "I told you they were real."

Naruto folded his arms and pouted.

Gai's sniffles drew their collective attention back to him, his watering eyes and quivering lower lip eloquently describing his sense of violation. Gaara blinked at him, apparently waiting for some motion for retribution. When it became obvious that the wounded party was too concerned with rubbing his abused eyebrow to make any retaliatory strike, the Sand ninja shrugged and glanced at Tsunade. "We have business to get back to. We'll see you later."

The only thing she could think to do was nod. The boy's expression hadn't shifted once during the entire encounter.

As the pair walked away, Gaara spoke up again. "Lee cried too. Is it really that bad?"

Naruto swatted at the hand reaching for his face next. "You don't—Well, of course you don't know, you don't have eyebrows."

Tsunade patted the whimpering Gai on the back and sighed in relief before deciding to rub things in that much more. "Just imagine what it'll be like when both of them are running things."