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Chapter 6: Blood Red and Snow White

You commit a serious mistake, Padme! But ... why does it crackle then between us?

She hesitated and hesitated and hesitated. They were only a few inches apart. So close she had never been to him, in fact, never! There was an absolute silence between them. They just looked into each others' eye. Their minds and logic was gone, and then...

...was his Com Unit beeping.

Both immediately awoke from their stupor, their trance, and get onto a distance from each other. Palpatine apologized muttering, rose and sought in a pocket of his coat for the device.

"Yes?"

"Where are you?" It was Sate Pestage, one of the advisers of the Supreme Chancellor. Padme was surprised that Pestage was actually on familiar terms to rge Chancellor. Though in public or in the office he did this not in any case.

"The Senator and I have been looking for a quieter place to continue our conversation. We are in the office beneath the Rotunda. "

"Your speech is expected, and also I have been asked several times about your whereabout."

"I understand," he turned already towards Padme, gave her an apologetic look, because he knew that the conversation with her would probably come to an abrupt end, "I'm coming."

The Com landed back in his pocket.

Somehow Padme was glad that the device had dissolved the situation. She had been about to commit a serious error. An unforgivable one to be honest. And ... what would have been even worse, this budding friendship would be destroyed again. Forever!

Why did it appear as if he was not averse to a kiss? It was as if he senses my feelings ... and replies! Or ... is it just me who wants to see it this way?

"I'm sorry, I must go back. Apparently I will already missed, "he laughed, Padme nodded. She tried to hide her insecurity with a smile.

"They expect your speech."

"Oh, yes ... my speech. Every year, same ritual... Forgive me that I now have to end our conversation so unexpectedly, Padme. "

"You have to perform your duties, I know," Padme stood up and took her plate with her. Palpatine did the same. He escorted her out. Through the office, back to the corridor

"But it our appointment still remains for Sunday?", he asked, just before they reached the hall again. "At my home for tea?"

"Of course," she reassured him with a smile. Meanwhile she had caught herself from weakness again.

"Wonderful, Padme," he smiled gently, they were now back in the hall, in the colonnade, still shielded from all the trouble on the dance floor; he smiled apologetically, "Here I must leave you now, unfortunately."

They trusted a passing Service Unit with their dishes.

"Have a pleasant evening, Chancellor," she wished, she bent slightly while her upper body bowed to him.

"Then, until Sunday, Padme," he replied, "And thank you for the dance and the conversation. I really enjoyed it very much."

He took a step closer, put his arm around her and took her in a kind of open embrace. A soft kiss landed in her hair, she could feel his breath in her hair and on her cheek.

"Take good care of yourself, please!", he added, and then quickly went thence. He had to fulfill his duties...a speech. Talking with senators and guests, ...it was time.

Padme remained rooted to the spot. Her breathing was only intermittently. She was pale as she realized what he had just done, the blood shot her in the face. She went red a little.

He kissed me!

A sign of his affection? Or friendship?

He had not once dared to do it! He never did! But now? It is different ... this friendship is far more intimate than what it was before.

Taking a deep breath, she tried to find her composure because she could not go back in this state of body, not the other senators. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. Eventually, after a few long, agonizing minutes, she felt that stable again inasmuch as she was ready to face the ball and thus their colleagues. Maybe she would have to answer questions about her whereabout. Mothma could be quite curious; Bail remained mostly quiet.

Slowly, slowly, she stepped out of the shadow of the portico and mingled with the audience. She just had to concentrate shortly, then she already made out Mon Mothma, who stood next to Bail Organa; and next to Breha, the Queen of Alderaan, Bail's wife. Padme came to them and greeted Bail and Breha. As expected Mothma was a little curious and asked where she had been the last hour. She jokingly added that she was afraid Padme would have to follow the whole time to Palpatine monotonous conversations.

The young senator forced a laugh, "No, it wasn't that bad! In fact I was talking to him until just now."

Mon Mothma opened her mouth with amaze, but then replied: "You were friends for quite a long time, were you not?"

"Yes, he was one of my closest advisors during my tenure as queen."

The invitation for tea and that she had been dancing with him she did not mention. That was of nobody's business. Only Palpatines' and hers.

Immediately after his short speech in which he actually wished them good luck only for the next Senate periods and a beautiful ball season, she was flown home. It had begun to rain and somehow it was somehow difficult for her to connect to her other colleagues. So she had said goodbye to the Organa and Mothma and went home.

Back home, back at Republica 500, at her home, she fell exhausted on her sofa in the living room. From here she could see the Senate building, even the administration building.

What has happened today? What, damn it, is happening to me? To us?

She feared that it had been a mistake to dine with himin private. Probably followed by the appointment of tea, still a far bigger mistake! But to send him a rejection, it would mean an insult or even a slap in the face! She could not do it!

And I do not want to do it, too!

She rose from her bed and shuffled into the kitchen; on the way she got rid of her high heels. She would collect them on the way to her bedroom again. Her servants were already dismissed for the day, it was already after midnight. She was glad to be alone. So she was not running at least a risk of having to tell someone about this evening.

Her kitchen was quite small, but functional. As a senator her meals were mostly prepared either by a Service Unit, in a restaurant or by one of her servants, they actually were even more friends and allies. Rarely, but sometimes, she stood in the kitchen and cooked for herself or even her staff. Her mother had now and then blamed her that she know too little about housekeeping, but what excuse could thereby that she had never learned it ... thanks to her career in office. Nevertheless, she tested her culinary skills.

After she had brought some water to boil, she poured it over a tea bag in a cup and left the so rarely used room again. She picked up her shoes and then barricaded herself in her bedroom.

Since her tea was still too hot to drink, she decided to first herself ready for bed. Cold water would help her to think clearly again. The teacup was left on her bedside cabinet. She retired from the dressing room and slipped into her bathroom only dressed in her underwear to get get rid of her make-up and hairstyle. Later, she ran back into the dressing room on tiptoe and looked out for a fresh nightgown.

Back in the bedroom her tea was now sufficiently cooled, as it was now drinkable. With the cup she sat on her bed and forced herself to pass the last night a revue. A sigh left her lips ...

If I did not know better, I'd say he knows what I feel for him,... .When he looked me in the eyes, it was as if he fathom my heart. But he may just not know! Or even find out! This would only complicate and make more difficult, if not impossible our cooperation!

In addition, force, this 'love' lacks any logic, if there can be such a thing as logic in love at all! He's how old? 55 years? 56? I'm 20. How can it happen to me that I fall for a man much older than me? This borders but rather a kind of substitute father or father fixation! And even if he would also feel attracted to me ... he would beware to admit it or admit it to me. Rather, he would forbid it and remain silent, but he would never even consider to enter into a love relationship with me. If only because it could damage his reputation and his renown ... and mine too.

I really need to finally stop me to get away with this 'idea', I have to inter that love. Finally! One day someone will come into my life that I may love full-hearted!

But that will not be him ...

He gave me a kiss.

In my hair ... well, but it was a kiss!

Hopeless. No matter what I choose logically, my heart will hardly follow my mind.

Darkness. Cold.

He was sitting outside in his garden. Condensed air left his lips. He was alone and that was good. He wanted no one to be around for today. Absolutely no one.

A tremor caused, he pulled his cloak tighter around his thin body. If he was lucky, he won just a common cold or even pneumonia, and thus had a chance to solve this appointment on Sunday ... cancel it. Why did he allow himself to be carried away by something like an invitation? Inviting someone for tea disagreed so completely his nature! And why her!

I've definitely gone too far ... and I do not even know why at all I'm not aware of any reasons!

On the other hand, it has made my evening, without her I would have left earlier for home. It was pleasant to talk to her or even to dance with her.

Yes, dancing ... a socially acceptable remedy to approach the society ladies. One possible reason not to dance to to flirt with anyone.

She is pretty, too pretty for polics. And that is what could be their downfall. Or already is.

Her eyes, ...

She is a farmer in my chess game, and still one of the main characters in this game.

I suspect ... I ...

He could feel her presence in the Force, her presence in this apartement tower. She was not appreciably force-sensitive, but still he could feel her. He reached for her in the force, she was already asleep. Her thoughts did not interest him, even though he had been several times on the verge in the course of the evening to want reading her mind. He had forbidden himself this pleasure. Instead, he used his charm, in order to enchant something. He never did it for often, actually. But with her who he knew for so long, he had thought it would be right. But then something was happening; her response to his affection, had frightened him literally! It had made him wince inwardly and triggered any alarm: she was open to his advances, as minimal as they were, and he had always been so careful or even felt fatherly concern. In fact, he had assumed she would go on clearance, but just the opposite happened.

Just the opposite! ... She has admitted to this closeness ... as close as I allowed her to be close to me! A mistake! My mistake ...

I have to be careful; that's it! Much more careful! Familiar, but distant. I can not afford to fail my plans in advance, just because I have not been carefully enough or even give her false hope and have stoked expectations.

Oh, certainly, I've seen it in her eyes. I could have kissed her easily ... maybe I would have been even able to get her into my bed! But what should I do with her in bed? An Affair? A simple bed story?

It is not worth it to put my plans on the line!

Not to get my bed warmed up ...

He took one last deep breath, coughed, and decided that it was time to go back into his apartment. Maybe tonight he would have at least a chance to find some restful sleep.