Why wishes can't come true

CHAPTER FOUR:

Mary and John were gathered together for dinner with Sam and Jess at their home. They had just heard the news that Jess was pregnant and that they were going to become grandparents. Mary squealed at the prospect of having a grandchild to spoil and John was busting with pride for his youngest son. Sam had told them that he had talked to Dean yesterday to tell him the news and that Dean had been excited about becoming an uncle.

Michalena could feel the joy from beyond the front door. It poured out into her and she smiled as she let it fill her. She hated to break such happiness with the news of Dean's death, but she had a promise to keep. Trembling, she knocked on the door. When it swung open, it was John Winchester who greeted her. She put on the best smile she could muster and introduced herself.

"Hello, Mr. Winchester?" she asked out of courtesy.

"Yes," John replied.

With her hand offered then taken, she took in a breath, "My name's Michalena Watson and I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm a friend of your son, Dean."

"Oh, well, good to meet you, please come in," John offered, feeling a growing pit in his stomach that he couldn't explain.

Michalena entered tentatively. She was dressed professionally with a suit and briefcase in her hand. She hoped her ruse would be convincing.

"Everyone, this is Michalena Watson, a friend of Dean's. This is Mary, my wife, Sam, my son, and his wife, Jess," John introduced and Michalena shook each hand respectfully.

"Nice to meet all of you," she said.

"Where's Dean?" Sam asked quickly, the hairs on the back of his neck rising, concern etched on his face.

"Uh, that's what I'm here about…" Michalena felt her chest ache and the air in her lungs seemed to be draining from within her.

"What? What is it?" Sam asked, worry filling his body despite Jess's comforting touch.

All of them now looked worried.

"I…don't know how to say this…"

"Just say it!" Sam yelled impatiently.

"Sam!" Mary scolded.

"No, it's okay, I'm sorry. I'm making this worse. This is very hard for me, but I'll come right out with it. I'm afraid Dean was killed yesterday," Michalena grimaced at the severity of the words she had just uttered, but she couldn't think of any softer way to tell them.

Mary went white and slumped into the nearest chair. Jess was shocked speechless and Sam…Sam was the picture of horror and denial.

"No, no, you're wrong. You're lying! I just talked to him yesterday. I told him that I was going to be a father, that he was going to be…no, he's not dead. He's NOT!"

"He was found at the national park, his cell phone in his hand. The last call he had made was to you at 4:00 yesterday afternoon," Michalena explained, hoping Sam would find some comfort in knowing that the last person Dean had wanted to talk to was Sam.

Sam could no longer hold himself up. He, too, like his mother, felt his knees buckling under him and the world seemed to be spinning too fast. John grabbed his son and guided him into a loveseat where Jess joined him. John then went to sit by Mary. He turned to Michalena, his face a stoic mask.

"Please tell us what happened," John said.

"May I sit?"

"Of course," Mary said, regaining some of her composure.

Michalena pulled a chair up to the coffee table, laid her briefcase on it and opened it. She pulled out a manila folder then closed the briefcase again. She flipped open the file. She cleared her throat and took a deep breath.

"Not only am I Dean's friend, but I'm also his lawyer. Dean had designated me as his emergency contact, which is why the police called me. Dean had wanted to spare you from getting a call about him if anything ever happened."

All of them looked crushed with sadness and guilt remembering the argument they had about not wanting to get any more calls from the police about him and his activities. Michalena was drowning in the overwhelming emotions that were in the room and was struggling to keep her head clear.

She pulled out some newspaper articles and fanned them out on the table. The headlines were about people getting brutally hurt or killed by some creature or another and about how some of them had been saved by some mysterious man.

"When Dean was killed, he was saving two little girls from a creature in the park that had been killing other campers for years. Everyone assumed it was a grizzly bear given the wounds, but Dean had known what it was and was the only person who could have stopped it. There was nothing conventional law enforcement could do or any conventional weapon that could be used to kill this beast. Dean did kill it, but not before it had wounded him mortally."

"You mean, he called me while he was…" Sam said, his voice lost and confused. "He sounded okay, tired, but he told me it was jet lag. Why didn't he call for help instead of calling me?"

"He was bleeding to death and knew he was beyond help. I think he just wanted to say –"

"Good-bye…" Sam finished, his voice cracking, his throat constricting from losing the battle against the pain of his loss.

"Yes."

"Why was he there in the first place? Why was it up to him to kill whatever this thing was?" John asked.

Michalena knew this would be the hard part. Convincing his family that Dean had been a supernatural hunter would be difficult, maybe impossible, but she felt that she couldn't let Dean's work go unnoticed, especially by his family.

"What I'm about to tell you, I know, is going to sound unbelievable, maybe even crazy, but I want you to know that I'm of sound mind and that Dean was, too. You see, he saved my life, too, many years ago and from something that no one would have believed me if I had told them what it was," Michalena looked into their eyes with a sincerity she hoped they could see and feel because she felt it completely. "Please don't judge until you've heard everything."

They all looked frightened, but seemed willing to hear her out.

"Despite our seemingly simple lives, there are things…bad things…evil things out there in the dark that only a few people ever have the misfortunate to cross paths with. It's why stories about such things become legend and fodder for the vivid imaginations of horror moviemakers, but to each legend, there is a grain of truth, a thread that can be drawn to something real and that really exists. Truth can be stranger than fiction and many times what seems like fiction can come from some kind of truth. I was a victim of one. That family was as well. I truly believe that the only reason that we are even safe in this world is because of people like Dean. You see, he didn't tell you, but he was chosen to hunt those monsters of the night that we ignore as fairy tales. If it weren't for him, I'd be dead, those little girls would be dead. If you read the articles, you'll find the one from yesterday where they tell the reporter that a man in a leather jacket saved their lives. That's the truth."

Michalena took in a breath. She hoped she was doing a good job at painting Dean's heroism. She hoped that the articles would, if nothing else, prove to them that Dean had rescued people, had helped them, and had cared about them. If she did that alone, she would be satisfied.

"Dean didn't want you to know because he was afraid of putting you in danger. He loved you all so very much. You meant everything to him and he told me that doing the job made him feel like he was keeping the bad things away from you, that he was keeping you safe, protecting you," Michalena said. "He thought about giving it up many times to stay with all of you, to be just like everyone else, but he couldn't. He couldn't live with the thought of people dying because he hadn't been there to help them, knowing that he could have saved them. It wasn't arrogance. He didn't want any credit for it. He just wanted to help people and he knew he had the kind of skills to do it. He couldn't let his happiness be at the cost of others' lives. It was the kind of man he was. He may not have always loved the job, but he loved saving people. You would have been proud of him."

Michalena smiled at the thought of his legacy.

The room fell silent as the Winchester family processed all that Michalena had told them and though she wasn't sure if they fully believed her, they weren't kicking her out so she took that as a positive sign.

"Where is he?" John asked.

"He's at the McNair Mortuary in town," Michalena informed and they nodded in understanding. "You should know that his last request was to be cremated."

She watched the faces in the room and decided there was nothing more she could do for them.

"I'm sorry for your loss and that I had to bear the news to you, but I want you to know that he was a good man, a good friend, and a hero. If there is anything I can do for you, my card is with the file. Call me anytime."

Michalena took her briefcase and left the articles behind for them. She stood up and walked to the front door. Mary, suddenly, stood up and walked towards Michalena. She then hugged her gently.

"Thank you for being his friend and for your kindness to us," Mary said as she broke the hug and looked into Michalena's eyes.

Michalena could only nod. Mary's loving gesture reminded her of Dean so much. She then left them, quietly closing the door behind her.

Sam reached towards the articles still looking dazed as if in another world, and began to read them. Every account was the same, people getting killed by some mysterious beast or an unknown force and every person saved described a man saving them, putting himself in danger to do it, but then disappearing without being thanked.

Sam had never known about this side of Dean. Dean hadn't shared it with him. He couldn't blame him for that. Sam probably wouldn't have believed him. Besides, the Dean he knew wasn't much different from the Dean in those articles. He had always been a hero to Sam. He had never let him down, but knowing that Dean was gone, that he'd never be able to save another life, more selfishly, that he would never see his brother ever again, was crushing for Sam. Dean would never see Sam's child born. Dean would never be there for him ever again. Sam then turned into Jess's arms, hugged her tightly and felt his body quake with wracking sobs. Jess joined him. She could hear Sam cry out Dean's name over and over again into her welcome shoulder.

oooo

The funeral had been simple, nothing grand, as Dean would have wanted. He had been cremated, also as he had wished. What the Winchester family hadn't expected were the many kind strangers who had come to pay their respects to them and especially to Dean. There were people from all walks of life. Many had introduced themselves as people Dean had saved. They hadn't learned his name, but once they had seen his picture, they had recognized who he was and had to come to honor his memory with his family. They had shared stories of Dean's heroism with them. Even the family of the girls Dean had died saving came to share their gratitude with them. Sam listened with awe to all of the stories and the ache in his heart deepened with every remembrance.

Others introduced themselves as fellow hunters who had either known Dean by reputation or had proudly claimed the privilege of having fought by Dean's side. One in particular, Bobby Singer, seemed hit hard by the loss. He approached John and Mary and shook their hands.

"I'm so sorry for your loss. I wanted you to know that you raised a fine young man. He had a compassion for others that I admired. He never lost sight of the lives he saved. You have every reason to be proud of him."

John and Mary thanked him gratefully for his kind words.

Bobby then walked over to Sam as if he knew him.

"You must be Sam," Bobby said with a smile.

Sam could only nod and shake Bobby's hand.

"Dean always talked about you. He was real proud of you."

"Thanks, but…" Sam said, his voice barely a squeak. "I don't deserve that pride…I…never believed him…I…"

Sam's guilt for not believing Dean about the hunting he did overwhelmed him and Bobby had seen the look in his eyes.

"Is there somewhere we can talk?" Bobby asked.

Sam nodded and led Bobby away from his family and the many mourners.

"Sam, it's all right. What Dean did, what we all do, isn't something you advertise," Bobby said, hoping to comfort Sam.

Sam smiled a little, but the look of grief returned.

"I should have believed in him, but…I was embarrassed by him…I thought he was…"

"Crazy?" Bobby finished with a small smile.

Sam nodded.

"It's all right."

"No, it's not. He was my brother. He was always there for me, always believed in me. I should've done the same for him, but I didn't…and I…let him down…"

"Sam, Dean never felt like you let him down. Never. In fact, he was glad that his relationship with you hadn't suffered because of what he did. I can't say the same for the rest of us hunters. We usually lose contact with our families, sometimes for their own good, other times because they couldn't handle the truth of what we did, all kinds of reasons, but not Dean. You were too important to him so he did everything he could to make sure he was there for all of you. He always put you first. You were his reason for living."

"But he had to lie to us the entire time, pretend to be someone he wasn't - "

"To protect you, to keep you safe, yes, he kept the life secret. But he was still the same Dean you knew and loved."

"No, I think he kept it from us because he didn't want us to be disappointed in him, to judge him and we would've…I would've…"

"Sam, you have to know that your brother loved you all. He would have done anything for you, to make sure that his life never touched yours. In fact, he was determined that it never would. So don't go blaming yourself. It's not what he would have wanted. He made his choices for all of you and never regretted a one."

Sam took in Bobby's words. They had made sense. It was something Dean would have done and it gave him a sense of comfort.

"Thanks, Mr. Singer –"

"It's Bobby. Mr. Singer was my old man," Bobby teased as he produced a note pad and pen then scribbled something on it. "If you ever need anything or want to talk, you don't hesitate to call me, all right?"

Sam took the note and put it in his pocket.

"Thanks. I'd like that. I'd like to learn more about the Dean you knew."

"Anytime. Dean was a hero, Sam. Make no mistake. Everyone here will tell you that."

Bobby patted Sam on the shoulder and walked away.

Sam watched as Bobby walked off and as more mourners continued to come up to talk to their parents. Sam could feel the immense gratitude coming from everyone. Knowing that they had appreciated Dean for all he had done for them told Sam so much about a brother who had made the very same sacrifices for him, for his family.

Still, he couldn't help wishing that he could have Dean back to have more time with him. He shook his head thinking that wishes don't come true.

Michalena stood close by. She felt Sam's thoughts and smiled.

Fin

Thanks to Tiffany for her exemplary beta-ing of this story. It's always appreciated!! Hoped you like it and will forgive the Dean death!