SUMMARY: Unfortunatly for Naruto, Kyuubi's untimely sex-drive has gone OVERBOARD, and Kyuubi refuses to contain herself. So at night, she takes over in secret to 'assult' her next victim. Nearly everyone in the village of Konoha has either fallin' for Naruto's crotch or painstakenly stalked him for the juciest of Blackmail, and Naruto has no idea what's gotten into these people! Kyuubi has her eyes set on a certian Uchiha and Naruto is just starting to pull the pieces together. Will Naruto be able to keep Kyuubi in check, before she screws the love of his life?
AGES: Naruto- 17
Sakura- 17
Sasuke- 18
Lee- 18
Gaara- 18
Kakashi- 35
Jariya- 55
Tsunade- 55 (still using her jutsu)
Shizune- 25
Choji- 17
Hinata-16
Neji-18
Hanabi-14 1/2
Shikamaru-18
Other Character's will be added throughout the story, New characters in ITALICS
RATED: M, future yaoi, lemons, and mild lime scenes. Fluff, dirty jokes, Adult Language
Disclaimer: I'm gonna say this ONCE, and ONLY ONCE! Naruto is not mine, nor will he ever BE mine. Do you ever see this story ever happening on T.V.? No? Thought so.
Blah blah blah- Kyuubi Talking, or someone yelling at people
Blah blah blah- Kyuubi Thinking
Blah blah blah- Thinking
Blah blah blah- Talking
A little Confrentation
" You dare to disobey my orders, Neji?" A voice sounded from the center of the room. The person who owned the voice was sitting firmly in a chair facing the huge window looking out toward the city of Konoha, her back facing The newly recruited ANBU Sqaud she had sent out for the sole perpose of bringing Uzumaki Naruto for a discussion.
"Hokage-sama...please forgive me.. I might have been mistaken that it was certernly Uzumaki that attacked me.." Neji spoke in an even tone, though on the inside he was petrified. Hinata and Hanabi stood sternly behing their leader, eyes staring at the ground intently, guiltridden. Tsunade turned around in her chair, a small squeeking sound, coming from the swivel. "No. You weren't mistaken, Neji. Which was perecisouly the reason I had sent you out to gather him." She sighed heavlly, her hand atoumatically reaching for the bottle of half full sake and taking a swige. Slaming the bottle down on her desk, she caused the young ANBU to jump slightly.
Neji was the first to speak out, his voice higher than normal. "Tsunade-sama, we apologize for our fai--"
"Shut up, Neji. No one likes a kiss up." She glared heatedly, then crossed her arms underneath her massive chest. "Look, let me explain the sitcuation about Naruto. You know about seventeen years ago, Kyuubi no Kitsune attacked our village and Yondaime sacrificed his life by sealing the evil fox demon inside of a baby boy..a newborn at that. You've also known for a few years that that baby boy turned out to be the one and only Knuckleheaded Ninja that goes by the name of Uzumaki Naruto, right?" She watched as they nodded their heads in respose as she continued, picking up her Sake once again. "Well, during those few years of Naruto's existance, The Elders of the counsel and previous Hokage..i believe was Sarutobi at the time, decided to do some research on Kyuubi's power limit and reproductive system and other things...
As it turns out, Kyuubi is nether a male or a female, but may take an appereance of either genders and obtain both sexual reproductive organs of both sexes for reproductive perposes. And from there we learned about the demon foxes Mating Ritual."
Tsunade's eybrows rose slighly, as her studious gaze locked on with a blushing Hinata and Hanabi's. " What wrong with you two?" Hinata's blush deepend as she squeaked, covering her face. Hanabi, on the other hand, cleared her throat, her blush subsiding a little. "So , what you're trying to say is...N-Naruto-kun could become...impre..impregnated because of the demon fox.?"
Tsunade leaned forward some in her chair, her monsterocity of a bosom resting on the desk as she rolled her eyes. "Of course not. We wouldn't be here discussing the poor boy if he obviously couldn't get pregnant by some weird ritual the demon inside him wasn't performing..." Sarcasm rolled of her in drolls.
"So Tsunade-sama, what does that ritual have to do with what happend to ME?" Neji Interupted, his eyes bludging slightly, his calm and precicly perched demeanor vanishing with his morale. Tsunade turned her attention back to Neji, her eyes glimmering humorusly. " Well, Neji, I was getting to that. It seems that Kyuubi is in heat and you were a primary target. Apperently, you must smell of some sort of lust, being it either bloodlust or lust of passion or sex or what not, because, you would have not been targeted if you weren't."
Neji's face paled consierably as Tsunade held back a chuckle.' And I think I know exactly what he was doing before it happened...'
"W-what the hell were you doing to have Kyuubi be attracted to you in such a way?" Hanabi stated loudly as all eyes were on him. Neji's facial expressions could have topped Naruto's any day. Neji's eyes widened and buldged comically as his skin paled to match even the purest of white. Saliva pooled in the back of his throat as a strange gurgling noise was emitted as he opened and closed his mouth like a fish.
Tsunade slapped her forehead as laughing came from the lowest pits of her gut.
0o.o00o.o00o.o0
Naruto groaned slightly as his eyes opened to moving darkness. 'What the..? Is it night time already? How the hell...?' He went to move his hands, but the felt weighed down by something warm. "Naruto? You awake?" The voice struck him before the words even processed in his mind. "Sa..Sasuke.." He mumbled, his voice straining and rough. Naruto tried clear his throat, but sudden brightness caught him off gaurd as he clamped his eyes shut tightly.
Sasuke's deep chuckle could be felt through Naruto's whole being. "You didn't relise that i've been carrying you, have you, koi?" Sasuke stated, his arms wrapped tightly around his boyfriends' thighs. The quick movement against the back of Sasuke's neck answered his question. He paused for a moment, and tilted his head so his gaze could lock onto Naruto's; he had finally decided to peak over Sasuke's shoulder.
"Do you want to get down, Naruto? We're halfway to the house."
Something in Naruto stirred at Sasuke's voice. A heated thought passed through Naruto's mind as he nodded and hopped off of the Uchiha staring up at him, a strange glint in his eyes. Sasuke stared back, eyebrow raised.
"..."
"..."
"Okay, Dobe. What do you want."
Naruto silently grabbed a hold of Sasuke's hand and pulled him toward a path he had explored resently. As they traveled, the forest sourrounding them seemed to get less denser untill they were out in the open, a natural hot spring placed before their eyes. Sasuke stared down at Naruto, his fingers still laced against is boyfriends, and pulled the younger male against his chest. "Now why would you bring me here, Dobe? got something planned for the two of us?" Sasuke watched Naruto's tanned cheeks gain color, as he placed a gentle kiss on his lips.
"Nah, I got nothing planned really. I just wanted to share this with you, since our day was interrupted by Neji's Squad and all. I wanted to make it up to you..."
Sasuke rolled his eyes as he let Naruto out of his grasp so they could change. Sasuke, who hadn't planned on getting wet, feigned changing his clothes as he watched Naruto undress tauntingly. Naruto, for once, wasn't wearing that stupid orange jumpsuit he had, he actually had something desent on...
Slowly, humming to himself, Naruto took off his white Konoha shirt and began unbuttoning his Khaki short, but...
"Sasuke?"
Sasuke blinked and stared at Naruto's face, the dirty thoughts leaving his mind for a moment. Naruto's eyes were starting to water slightly, his hands still on his shorts, the button twisted at an odd angle.
"Sasuke? Can you help me..?"
Sasuke's continued to stare at Naruto, his mind going numbingly blank 'Oh Shit. He wants me to help him unbutton his shorts...' Naruto stepped closer toward him, his eyes still gleaming with that strange glint and tears. Naruto didn't stop walking until his hands were resting ontop of Sasuke's chest, and his body was pressed hard against the Uchiha.
Naruto grinned, running his palms against the cotton tee of Sasuke's shirt, causing a certain Uchiha's heartbeat to quicken and his breath to hitch. "Aren't you going to help me, Sasu-koi? Please...?"
A small gulp was heard.
"Che. Dobe."
0o.o00o.o00o.o0
Hanabi and Hinata tried to contain thier laughter.
They really did.
But when Tsunade had asked him what had happened before the attack, and to tell her EXACTLY what he had been doing, to EVERY last detail... you couldn't help but dig your own grave, because they nearly died of laughter. It was bad enough that he was attacked, but for such a reason to...lower himself to such...it was just to funny.
Even the gaurds on the otherside of Tsunade's office door were probably having a good laugh.
"So..um...N-neji..." Tsunade said, the giggles still evident in her voice as she whiped a few tears from the corners of her eyes. Neji, whose face was now making out with the flower pot in the corner of her office because he was too embarassed to look at anyone, made a noise that was supposed to be approvel for continuing the conversation. Tsunade couldn't even find her voice to finish her question because surprisingly, Hinata did.
"You were masturbating to gay porn, thinking about Gaara AND was having phone sex with some guy?! Does the term 'HORNY SEX CRAVER' mean ANYTHING to you?!"
Now, the fact that Hinata had said it, It just made thing worst.Thats because, Hanabi, who was holding Neji's pack, unzipped it to find a look for a camra so she could take a pitcure for a forced memory so Neji would never be able to live it down. Going through the pack, she found papers, books, scrolls, until she hit something plastic, thick, and hard almost like it was a...
"OH MY GOD! OH MY FUCKING GOD NEJI, GROSS!!"
Flinging the pack across the room,still unzipped with all its unzipped glory, the pack hit Tsunade in the face and landed on the dest with a flat thud, all the items, hidden or not, sprawling lazily across her desk. Tsunade glared at Hanabi, who was now sanatizing her hands clean with bleach. "What the HELL was that fo--Oh my...N-Neji..."
A loud screaching yell echoed through the Hokage tower, causing Shikamaru, Choji and Lee to pause momentarily behind the Hokages' office door. Shikamaru's eyebrow raised slightly as he glanced at the gaurds, thier faces slightly pink and...where they laughing?
"What the hell's going on here, Shikamaru?" Choji murmered, stuffing another handful of chips into his waiting mouth.
"Choji-san, I do not think any thing is going on here that is not normal for Tsunade-sama" Lee stated, smiling widely.
'Troublesome' shrugging, Shikamaru knocked on the door as the yelling quieted to loud laughing. Glancing at the gaurds once more, he openened the door without hesitation to find...
A/N:...AND
CUT!! I know you hate me now, giving you a cliffhanger on both Sasu
and Naru gettin' it on and on what was inside Neji's bag!! I'll give
the first 10 people a Virtual Cookie and a Virtual SasuNaru Makeout
Plushie if you can guess what the hell was in that bag of Neji's..or
if you give me a pointer on what Sasuke and Naruto should totally do
in the hot springs...either one. School start(s)/(ed) Tuesday for me
so, don't expect much till i get settled in my comp class...I'll
beable to update maybe twice a week if i can find the inspiration
from you guys to...if you want me to continue this story tell me,
alright?! NO FLAMES! or, i'll track your review and send evil little
Ramen bots to get you...(Evil laughter)..
Hint #1 (Neji's Bag): It has something that you need to carry with you..guys and guys (seriously, i mean it guys! The two most important things here if you love kinkyness...(oops.)...)..
Hint#2 (Neji's Bag): I'd return these, before I have to pay for keeping them to long
Hint #3 (Neji's Bag): LUBE..LUBE...LUBE..LUBE...oh wait..that would be an answer, wouldn't it?
R,R&Mo...Read, Review, and Move on...