Who needs to read and write when you can dance and sing? Forget about your algebra and calculus, you can always do your homework on the morning bus, can't tell a verb from a noun, they're The Nicest Kids in Town

...Who cares about sleep when you can snooze in school, they'll never get to college but they'll sure look cool, don't need a cap and a gown when you're The Nicest Kids in Town.

Cornealius Adam Collins was the oldest of twelve childeren. He knew how to change, feed, and put a baby to bed before he knew basic addition.

Not that that was saying much. Math was not exactly his best subject (the understatement of the century), but then again, neither was anything else. Cornealius Adam Collins liked to read, but it took him a month to finish a basic chapter book. He didn't mind science, but all the big words confused him, and his hand was the first in the air with questions. Math was ok, but those equations were so complex, he was always having the teacher walk him through it. History wasn't horrible, but he sometimes got all those dates mixed up.

Cornealius Adam Collins couldn't do band because he couldn't remember the fingerings to the notes. He liked singing fine, he always sang his little brothers and sisters to sleep, but his special education class was during choir. He didn't have the time for sports by the time he was old enough to play them.

By the second day of his being alive, his mother had shortened his name to Corny. He didn't mind as he got older, but if you asked him his name, he'd proudly tell you it. Cornealius Adam Collins wasn't the sort of name you took lightly. It was one you wore proudly or not at all. That was how Corny looked at everything. He wore his stupidity proudly, as opposed to not at all.

He was proud of the C's he worked for. Because of it, high school came rather easily to Corny. Everybody knew he worked a little harder for his grades, but since everybody knew it, nobody minded.

Corny Collins was mild mannered boy who could always offer an attractive smile. He was, as his mother put it, easy on the eyes. All the girls like Corny Collins. He had, as his father put it, a way with words that was smooth as butter. All the boys liked Corny Collins.

His parents loved all their children, but were especially fond of Corny. Since he became an older brother at the age of two, he always was willing to help. Never a complaint because his little sisters wanted his teddy bear. He handed it over. Not a peep when he had to share his room with his little brothers. He told them it was just like camp when they complained. Corny loved his little siblings, and would have done anything for them, really.

Because of his easy demeanor, his parents liked to award him. Anytime his school hosted a dance, they let him go instead of staying home to help with the kids.

Corny looked forward to these school dances more than anthing. Dancing was something he could do. It didn't take a whole lot of time to learn, and you didn't have to be smart to enjoy it. Corny Collins was an exceptionally good dancer. He always arrived alone, but rarely stood on the sidelines drinking punch. Girls would approach him, asking him to dance. Corny said yes every time. He was just that kind of guy.

Corny never had a date. There was only one girl he would want to take, but she was taken. Susanna Gribbs had long, brown hair, and those deer-caught-in-headlights eyes. She was gentle, kind, beautiful, and a goddess to Corny Collins. All the girls envied Susanna Gribbs, because she was the girl Corny Collins wanted.

She was also the girl David Drumms wanted. And David Drumms was bigger and faster than Corny Collins. He had asked her out first, and she had said yes. That was the kind of girl she was. David Drumms was flashy, overprotective, and very, very jealous. If a boy was involuntarily paired with Susanna for a project, he was given a beating as a warning to keep his hands off.

Corny always smiled at Susanna. He got her flowers when she had landed the lead in the play. When David was off with his friends showing off, Corny helped Susanna carry her things to her class. He very publically was fond of her, but, being a perfect gentleman, never made an advance. She was, after all, off limits.

Corny Collins was great with kids. Every morning, he walked his siblings to their classes, and all the kids would gather around him. He would do a magic trick, maybe show the older ones a dance move, then move on so that he could drop the rest of his siblings off and make it to class on time.

Once, his sister's third grade teacher pulled him aside before he left. "You know, Corny, the children adore you. Have you ever considered teaching as a profession?"

Corny had laughed. "Gee, thanks, Mrs. Hotch. But I can't teach. I barely get the grades I do. How would I teach kids if I can't understand what I'm teaching them? Besides, college is pricy. I'll hold off, so one of my smarter siblings can go." Then, with his regular dazzling smile, he said goodbye to all the kids and and left.

Everything came full circle for Corny Collins his senior year of high school. He got an after school job at a diner. His grades were steady. His mother had entered menopause, and, as bad as it sounded, every one was relieved that this baby was the last that would cry herself to sleep every night.

The only downer was that this was the year everyone expected David Drumms to give his pin to Susanna Gribbs. It didn't phase Corny a bit. Until it happened, he was going to continue to help her carry her things to class and smile at her in the hallway.

Everyone was expecting Susanna to show up to the homecoming dance wearing his pin. She didn't show up at all. David did, but offered no explanation for her absence. Corny danced with all the girls, chatted with the boys, and managed a drink of punch inbetween songs, but did it all while looking for Susanna.

That Monday at school, the rumuor spred like wildfire. David had broke it off with Susanna. They were over. Corny treated her just the same, never making an advance, just offering a "Good morning, Susanna," and a helping hand. He knew, she had just broken up with her boyfriend, she didn't want to be asked out.

After a month, Corny worked up the nerve. Susanna was smiling and laughing again. He passed her in the hall and stopped to talk. He nervously asked her to dinner, and she, looking suprised, accepted. By the end of the day, David Drumms was shooting Corny the evil eye.

That night, Corny put on his nicest shirt and pants. He picked her up. They ate dinner, talked, smiled, and laughed. He took her home. It was marvelous.

The next day at school, everyone knew that Corny Collins and Susanna Gribbs were seeing each other. This continued throughout the rest of the year. They went to the senior prom together. They danced together. Corny was the happiest he'd ever been.

Graduation came, and Susanna prepared to go off to a girls college. Corny was going to stay behind in Balitimore and work. He decided to giver her his pin. Dressed as nice as he could manage, in his father's car, he lay his life at Susanna's feet. She was everything to him.

When he offered his pin, Susanna's face wrinkled into mild distaste. "Oh, Corny, I was going to talk to you about that tonight. I've got lots of potential, everyone says so. And, well, it's been fun, all this year, but... I could never stay with someone like you, Corny. You're nice, but... well, you haven't got much of a future. You'll probably work in that diner forever."

That night, at the tender age of nineteen, Cornealius Adam Collins had his heart ripped apart and his world shattered. Susanna asked to be taken home, and Corny drove her there, numb. She kissed him on the cheek and crawled out. Corny knew, from that moment on, he'd probably be a bachelor forever.

In '61, when one of his former classmates who knew he could dance asked him to host a variety show his TV station was starting, Corny said yes. He practiced the dance moves, learned the song, met the kids who would dance with him. The show's airing date came, and, after fixing his cuff links and looking into the camera with a smile during the first song, he thought only thing.

Not quite the diner, is it, Susanna?

Cornealius Adam Collins was officially doing something with his life. He may not be smart, grammer may not come easy, college may not have been an option, but here he was. On TV. With a show all his own. Dancing with kids who were alot like him. Ok, Corny Collins may not even own a TV yet, but with his next paycheck, he was surely getting one.

And probably one for his siblings back at home, too. They deserved one.