A/N: A tremendous thank you for everyone who has read/reviewed! An even bigger thank you to mel60 who beta's this.
"I want you to go with Danny to the three DOA's on the Brooklyn Bridge," Mac Taylor instructed after giving Lindsay a tour of the lab that had ended in her new office. It was her first day at the New York Crime Lab and Lindsay was filled with a nervous excitement.
"That'd be me, Danny Messer. How ya doing?" Danny asked as entered the office without looking up from his paperwork.
A familiar New York accent sent a ripple of awareness along Lindsay's nerves and she slowly turned toward the voice that just entered the room, afraid to see the face she suspected matched that voice. She held back a gasp when her worst fear was confirmed. Lindsay's breath hitched, her lungs forgetting how to function. Her heartbeat, on the other hand, went into overdrive. She was sure Mac was aware of the climate change that occurred in the small office the instant Danny stepped into the room, but thankfully he didn't say anything.
She did her best to ignore her reaction to the surprising, and unwelcome, presence of her new partner, her one night stand coming back to haunt her. Lindsay could feel Danny's penetrating gaze and she swallowed visibly before introducing herself as if she'd never met him before, grateful that her voice didn't come out like the hoarse croak she feared it would.
Lindsay had tried hard to erase the memory of Danny, but he seemed to have made an impact on her like no man ever had before. After leaving his apartment she'd taken a cab home and found Shelly and Flack sprawled on the living room couch, fully clothed, passed out. Lindsay took advantage of Shelly's fuzzy recollection of that night and denied staying over at Danny's. She felt bad lying to her friend but would feel worse having her friend pass judgment on her – she was doing plenty of that on her own. Lindsay never thought of herself as needy. She was too smart and discerning to have a one night stand. Apparently she was susceptible to mussed brown hair, piercing blue eyes, and New Yorker charm.
Pretending the night never happened proved to be a difficult feat. Shelly would ask about Danny, forcing Lindsay to respond with vague answers. Even one afternoon watching television, a character's brown hair and a mischievous grin resembled Danny's and she had to immediately switch channels, unwilling to have any reminder of the stranger she'd spent the night with, been intimate with, made love with. At night she tossed restlessly, squeezing her eyes tightly shut, trying to fend off the pleasurable memory of falling asleep in his arms on the pool table.
Sleeping with Danny had been a foolish thing to do but she had done it and would have to come to terms with it. Work had always been her salvation and she looked forward to focusing on evidence, witnesses and suspects instead of Danny. But even that plan had come to a screeching halt.
Lindsay fiddled with her kit after Mac left, leaving her and Danny alone. She could feel her emotions stirring – embarrassment, irrational anger that he had the nerve to work at the lab - but she tried to keep her face as blank as possible. There was plenty of time to be mortified later.
Danny's whole body tensed the instant he turned the corner into the office and saw Lindsay. A jumble of thoughts raced through his mind about what she was doing there – had she sought him out, was she involved in a case? The last thing he expected to come out of Mac's mouth was the she was his new partner. Danny couldn't believe he'd found her. Well, he hadn't found her exactly. More like crazy circumstances had reunited them. He had to stop himself from reaching out and touching her to make sure she wasn't a mirage. He knew he could have found her through Flack by way of Shelly if he really wanted to, but it had irked him that she'd left, that the interest wasn't mutual. Not that he hadn't picked up his phone several times to call Flack to get information. Not that he hadn't talked himself out of it each time. Why pursue someone who would rather leave in the dead of the night than wake up with you? Now though, with Lindsay in front of him again, his appetite was reawakened.
Lindsay didn't look thrilled to see him. Too bad. Their attraction had obviously been mutual, but he thought it went deeper than that. He had no idea what he'd done to make her run, but whatever it was, he was determined to set things right. They'd talked in the bar for hours and even though he didn't know her last name until just a few seconds ago he felt like he'd known her forever. He hadn't invited Lindsay into his apartment with the intention of sleeping with her. He'd only wanted to prolong the night, hang out with her awhile longer. It wasn't entirely his fault that it hadn't worked out that way. He couldn't be blamed for the way he reacted to her silky brown hair or inviting lips. And she'd been so soft and responsive and willing.
"We should get to the scene," Lindsay said as she moved to walk around him, applauding herself for coming off calm and collected. Danny grabbed her arm to stop her retreat. His proximity and warm, male scent brought erotic memories rushing to the surface that Lindsay was desperately trying to forget.
"Can we talk?" he asked.
The initial shock of seeing Danny was wearing off and she was gradually regaining her composure. Danny was right, they needed to talk. If they were going to work together they were going to need to clear the air.
"Why did you leave?" he asked, his question needing no elaboration.
Lindsay gulped and resisted the urge to bury her face in her hands. She didn't want to talk about their night together. She'd gone to the bar feeling lonely and Danny had offered a night of pure, sensual pleasure to make it go away - at least temporarily. Why had that seemed like such a good idea at the time?
"I…" She had no idea what to say. "Look, Danny, we had a great time but let's just leave it at that, all right?"
His eyes narrowed and she knew he didn't like that answer. She wished things weren't so complicated.
"Danny, Lindsay, get going," Mac's voice carried from down the hall, interrupting their stare down. "There's a hell of a traffic jam on the bridge and it's going to stay that way until you process it."
Grateful for the reprieve, Lindsay practically sprinted down the hallway. Seeing Danny had affected her more than she liked to admit. She was usually good at masking her feelings but Danny had clearly rattled her. Hopefully her co-workers dismissed her jitters as first-day-on-the-job nerves and she vowed to be tougher from then on.
After a week of working with Lindsay Monroe, Danny was on the verge of going stark raving mad. His mood was foul and patience short. All because of Lindsay Monroe. They had kept up their pretense of professionalism but their night together thickened the air between them. Lindsay was always near, but so distant. Working closely with him on cases but otherwise avoiding him. He tried convincing himself that the only reason he couldn't stop thinking about her was because she didn't want him but he knew that rationalization wasn't true. They'd shared long stares across the lab, which Lindsay usually broke first, but not before he saw confusion and anticipation in her eyes, which he knew matched his own. He understood what he was confused about – why Lindsay was acting like their night together was no big deal. He knew what he was waiting for – her change of heart. The problem, however, was Lindsay. He couldn't figure her out.
Seeing the object of his frustration in the hallway Danny decided he couldn't delay dealing with her any longer. He grabbed Lindsay by the arm, ignoring her protests and resistance, and propelled her into an empty conference room. Shutting the door behind them he pulled her close and captured her mouth in a startling kiss. Instantly, desire flared, hot and quick. His hands slid along her sides and Lindsay helplessly clutched his shoulders. He stepped closer into her, pushing her back against the door, increasing the pressure of his lips on hers.
Lindsay momentarily broke their kiss, "What are you doing…we shouldn't do this," she managed to rasp.
Danny, however, had a week's worth of frustration to expel and wouldn't be deterred. He kissed her again, this time raking his fingers through her hair and trailing kisses along her neck. Her skin was just as soft and smooth as he'd remembered. Lindsay stopped protesting and instead angled her body closer to his, wanting more, unable to resist. Conversations making their way from the hallway into the room suddenly brought Lindsay to her senses and she forcefully pushed Danny away.
"What are you doing? Are you nuts? I want you to leave me alone," she said, raising a hand to her lips, touching them lightly.
"Really? You could have fooled me. I'd swear you enjoyed that as much as I did." He crossed his arms over his chest. Danny took some pleasure from Lindsay's obvious discomfort. If she was as indifferent as she wanted him to believe then she wouldn't have reacted so strongly to him. When Lindsay remained silent he continued, "Oh, I get it. You're running away again."
"I'm not running from anything," Lindsay scoffed.
"Yes you are, but what?" He leaned close and it took all her strength not to prove him right by bolting for the door. "All I want is dinner. Some drinks. Both of which you owe me, by the way, if I remember our bet correctly."
Lindsay hesitated meeting Danny's intense gaze. "I wasn't supposed to see you again," she blurted, needing to tell him how she felt. "You were supposed to be a fling."
Confusion flashed in his eyes. Lindsay didn't seem to be a one night stand type of girl. "A fling."
"Yes." A wave of relief washed over her. Now he knew. She slipped around him and made a beeline for the door. Before she could open it, Danny reached beyond her shoulder and flattened his hand against it.
Without turning around Lindsay said, "What happened between us was a fluke, a one time thing. Let's just forget it ever happened." Lindsay didn't fully believe in her own words as she said them but avoiding things that were too emotional was her modus operandi and there were all kinds of emotions boiling inside her right now that she didn't know how to deal with – frustration, embarrassment, desire. Plus, she wasn't ready for the dinner and drinks Danny was offering that she knew meant starting a relationship.
"Sorry. That doesn't work for me. You were more than just a one night stand to me."
Lindsay was stunned by his honesty.
Danny leaned closer into her back and said, "Listen, the night we met you didn't know me, and I didn't know you, but we clicked."
She couldn't lie to him. Not when their night together was forever seared into her memory. "I know."
"So why not just act on it, see where it goes."
Stated so simply, her reasons for pushing him away did seem a bit lame. Confused, she shook her head. "I don't know."
Danny's pager shrilled loudly, making Lindsay jump. "Damn," he muttered softly. "I have to go. We'll talk soon," he promised as he left the room.
Later that evening, Lindsay had a desk full of case work but she was having trouble concentrating on anything except her encounter with Danny. Hours later she was still rattled by it. She didn't like the fact that his kiss was as amazing as she'd remembered or how her body had reacted. Or that he was constantly in her thoughts. Or that her plan for Danny to be a harmless fling wasn't working out. She also didn't like the small voice in the back of her mind telling her there was something more between them than a one night stand.
She distractedly stared outside her office windows into the city landscape. Feeling suffocated in her office, Lindsay decided to go for a run. She didn't live very far, and could run home. The exercise would be refreshing and she welcomed the clarity an invigorating jog would brought. She embraced the cool night air as she started her run. By the time she reached her apartment her lungs, heart and legs were aching pleasurably from the exertion.
Not until she almost stepped on his boots did Lindsay notice him, making her head snap up. Danny. Sitting on her stoop, half reclining, elbows relaxed against the stairs and legs stretched out in front of him. Even in the darkness, his eyes shone a bright blue. His gaze locked on hers and it was unsettling. Seconds passed while they stared. Lindsay could remember things about him, small things like the scar on his lower back, that only a lover would know, but at the same time he was a stranger to her. It had been foolish to think she could leave unscathed from her experience with him.
"What are you doing here?" she asked Danny.
"I said we would talk again, so here I am."
His casualness irritated Lindsay. "Please leave."
"I can't. I don't have what I want yet."
"What do you want? For me to just jump into bed with you again?" Lindsay started to get angry, frustrated at Danny's stubbornness. "I don't make it a habit of sleeping with men I don't know and I'm sorry if I'm not dealing with this post-one night stand awkwardness the way you want. You know what I think is really bothering you? I walked out on you and not the other way around. Your ego is bruised."
Danny had to admit a small amount of truth to her statement. But the full truth was that he felt Lindsay slipping through his fingers and he didn't know how to convince her that his feelings were real. He wasn't even exactly sure what his feelings were. All he knew is that they were intense enough to make him wait on her stoop for three hours.
"You're wrong," Danny said.
"I want you to leave. Please leave."
"Yeah. You keep saying that but you haven't convinced me yet. I'm not sure you've convinced yourself."
Danny's insight hit a little to close too home and Lindsay stormed by him.
"Lindsay," he continued. "Forget about how we met. Just think about how it was when we were together." With that, Danny left Lindsay standing speechless on her stoop. When she finally managed to make it up to her apartment she found Shelly waiting for her outside her door with a metal trash can and lighter in hand.
"What are you doing?" Lindsay asked.
"An exorcism."
"What are you talking about?" Lindsay was utterly confused.
"Let's go inside." Shelly made a beeline for Lindsay's fire escape window as soon as Lindsay opened the door and climbed onto the platform. "Come out here, Linds."
Lindsay poked her head out the window but hesitated. Shelly was full of crazy ideas but this one looked like the craziest one yet.
"Come on," Shelly insisted. "What is this?" Shelly asked when Lindsay finally joined her. Lindsay took the magazine Shelly had pulled from the trash can.
"It's that Cosmo magazine with the article on finding Mr. Right."
"Exactly. And what is this?"
"A lighter," Lindsay said slowly, identifying the object she was now holding, unsure of where this was headed.
"Right again. I need you to take this lighter and set the magazine on fire."
"What?!"
"Look. Listening to this article's advice was the stupidest idea I've ever had. All I know is that ever since we went on that silly man hunt you haven't been yourself and I feel like it's my fault. There's no reason you should be worried about being at the right hot spots to find the right guy." Shelly practically sneered the words 'hot spots'. "It'll happen when it's supposed to. And I'm sorry for putting pressure on you. So you're going to burn that magazine as a symbol of being the fine, fierce woman you are who doesn't need any article to do anything. And I promise to never let these crazy articles brainwash me again."
Shelly felt better now that she'd finally gotten that off her chest. The day after hitting the last hot spot Shelly started seeing less and less of Lindsay. She knew Lindsay was busy with her new job but feared Lindsay's withdrawal was more personal. Shelly knew she could be a bit over the top and forceful and maybe it had become too much for Lindsay. Shelly was still learning a lot about her neighbor - most importantly how she kept things bottled up and how good she was at putting up walls. Shelly never wanted to be a cause of any of those walls or bottled up feelings and in typical Shelly fashion this was her solution.
Lindsay was caught off guard by Shelly's rant. She also felt a little bad. She had been avoiding Shelly since their last night at the bar but it was only because Lindsay didn't know how to talk to her about what she'd done, what she was feeling. It was embarrassing and therefore easier to avoid the situation altogether. Bu so many other parts of Lindsay's life were complicated she wasn't ready to let Shelly fall into that category.
"Give me the lighter," Lindsay said. After a few tries she managed to set the corner on fire. They watched the pages curl and blacken, small pieces floating away in the wind. When the flame started to engulf the entire magazine Lindsay dropped it into the pail and leaned against the building in silence, watching it burn until nothing was left of the magazine except ash.
Afterwards, back inside the apartment, Lindsay spilled her guts. She told Shelly everything – from sleeping with Danny to the death of her friends. The cried, they laughed. They looked through Lindsay's old photo albums and ate too much ice cream. At the end of the night Lindsay felt drained but satisfied. Whatever Shelly's intentions had been by burning the magazine, it had been cathartic. Whether it was because Shelly was a psychologist or simply a great friend or a little bit of both, talking to her had helped Lindsay lift a tremendous weight off her shoulders that she hadn't even realized she'd been carrying. Talking to Shelly, the first person Lindsay had ever opened up to like this, made Lindsay realize how often she shut people out and that not letting people in was not necessarily the best way to deal. She realized she had no reason to keep anything from Shelly who hadn't judged her or questioned her. For the first time in awhile Lindsay slept soundly, with a resolve to uncomplicate all aspects of her life.
The next night when Lindsay found Danny on her steps again she almost expected him.
"Hi," she said.
"Hey."
Lindsay just stared at him for a moment. She'd done a lot of thinking the past twenty four hours, received a lot of advice from Shelly. And she'd come to an important understanding. Since the night she had spent with Danny, she had asked herself a million times how she could have done such a stupid thing. But the more time she spent with him the more reasonable the explanation became. No woman could resist that smile, his thoughtfulness, his charm. There was no shame in falling for a guy like Danny, no matter how it happened. So, she had vowed to make things right between them and that had her smiling all day. But fixing things with Danny was only a small part. Lindsay had a new outlook on life as a whole and she was no longer going to run from her fears.
"Are you hungry?" Lindsay asked, holding up the bags of Chinese she'd picked up on the way home.
Danny was dumbfounded. Was she actually inviting him in? For a meal? He'd expected her to slam the door in his face but came anyway because he'd developed a strange obsession with her and felt this primal urge to fight for her.
"Actually, yeah."
"Come in," Lindsay said, leading him up to her apartment.
Mystified by Lindsay's change in attitude, Danny peeled off his jacket and watched her as she set the table and placed the containers of lo mein and orange chicken in the microwave. Lindsay motioned for Danny to sit once the microwave beeped and passed him a beer from the fridge. They each had a few bites before Lindsay finally broke their silence.
"It's not exactly the best meal in the city but I always make good on my bets."
Danny smiled, remembering her end of the deal they'd made at the bar. Danny wanted to ask Lindsay what made her change her mind about him but he was afraid to disrupt their tenuous détente. So, instead, he gratefully accepted it without question.
"I could easily be the one paying up. With a different defense he could have run for two hundred yards," Danny said, referring to the player they'd bet on.
"You're just being nice so that you can get dessert," she teased, knowing she had lost the bet soundly. "I guess you can't ever really predict how people will react to different situations." She was no longer talking about the running back.
"Yeah. Things have a funny way of working out, don't they?" Danny didn't need an answer. His day couldn't have turned out any better.
Lindsay smiled at Danny. Sharing this meal with him made her feel happy. That's all she ever really wanted. Happiness – in whatever form it would take. Maybe she wasn't ready for Mr. Right, or maybe she was. Maybe Danny was that guy, or maybe he wasn't. Either way, she would find out in time. Either way, she was going to be all right.