Previously In Chapter One...
"This is the TARDIS's way of remembering Sarah Jane. I haven't seen this room in many, many years," (the Doctor) offered by way of explanation. "Strange that she allowed you to see it, though," he whispered.
"You mean, you've not been in here since, since ..."
"No," the Doctor said sadly.
Rose pulled on the handle to the door, looking at him. "Maybe the TARDIS wanted you to see it, too."

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The Doctor sat on the floor beside the center console, paying little to no attention to the work he had conjured up to perform on the TARDIS. The repairs had long been completed, but he hadn't bothered to tell Rose that. For one, he feared she might just ask to go home, and if she did he couldn't refuse her, no matter how much pain it would cause him. Secondly, he wanted to help her get through whatever this was that lay heavy on her thoughts. And as grand as distractions could be sometimes, this was one of those times when getting the problem out and over with would be the best way to go. If only he could convince her of that.

He noticed that she hadn't been eating much - barely getting by if you could call it that. And her sleep patterns were way off the charts - she was sleeping more than he could ever remember; these were clearly symptoms of depression.

She certainly wasn't acting her normal self, and he'd given her space, even though all he wanted to do was run to her and grab her shoulders, hold her fiercely and tell her everything would be all right. But he couldn't very well do that when he had no idea what was wrong. He wanted to know - desperately. He wanted to make her pain disappear. Somehow he had hoped that instead of dealing with it alone she would come to him.

But that wasn't happening She was keeping to herself, and as much as he wanted to give her space, it was only a matter of time before he would confront her.

Standing in front of the console, the Doctor closed his eyes and took a deep breath, determined to resolve this before it tore their friendship to shreds.

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The Doctor stood in the doorway, watching Rose as she slept atop the covers on Sarah Jane's bed. He'd looked around only a short while before coming here, sensing that Rose had returned. She tossed and turned now and then with an occasional moan escaping her lips, obviously displeased with the personal demons in her dreams.

Daring the intrusion, he walked in and closed the door quietly behind himself, not wanting to irritate her with the bright lights from the corridor. He sat on the bed, watching her restless movements and the few moments of calm in between. If he was the cause of her pain then he would take her home, though the mere thought of that saddened him deeply. He simply didn't know what else to do. And the way she had left him had him sure that he was to blame.

"Doctor?" Rose whispered, having apparently awoken without him being aware - too lost in his own dark ruminations.

"Yes."

She sat up then, thinking he might be mad at her for falling asleep in Sarah Jane's room.

The Doctor took a deep breath as if he were steadying himself, then focused all his attention on her face as his hand reached up to gently cup her cheek. "Can I tell you something, Rose?" he asked quietly.

Something about his tone scared her, and a feeling of dread began stirring in her stomach, sure he was going to tell her he was either dying or sending her back home. "You can tell me anything, Doctor," she assured him.

He dropped his hand from her cheek then took both of her hands within his. "I'm scared, Rose," he spoke barely above a whisper.

"Oh God," she said in a sigh, grateful she wasn't standing because surely her legs wouldn't hold her. The Doctor just never got scared, so whatever was wrong was really, really big. If he was afraid ... "Why?" she finally asked, unwilling to run worst case scenarios through her mind.

"You," he began, holding her hands tightly, "you scare me. You've been wanting your own space; not wanting to talk to me. You've been sad enough to cry and won't speak with me about it. And I'm scared, Rose. I'm scared ... that you don't want to be here any more."

She tried pulling back a little, but he held on tight. She'd forgotten about her feelings and fears from the dreams she'd had, so worried had she been about the Doctor, and then he'd brought them all back like a slap in the face.

"You're already pulling away. What have I done? Tell me what's wrong - tell me what I did and let me at least try and fix it."

The pain was clear in his eyes - she'd made him suffer while she tried to deal with the dreams on her own. It was all so very clear now. She took a deep, cleansing breath.

"It's not you, okay? It's me. I've been rememberin' ... dreams. I think they're from when I was sick. But they, well, they all come from things that happened and things that hurt and ... I'm jus' trying to deal with 'em is all."

"Rose ... I remember them, too." She'd been looking down at their hands, but suddenly her eyes raised to his.

"What do you mean?"

"What I mean is, I was there with you, when your fever was high ... you talked a bit while you were, well, you were delirious. It wasn't hard to put the pieces together." Rose just stared at him and he watched as the tears formed in her big brown eyes. "You know I'd never willingly hurt you, don't you? Those dreams - that's all they were - just dreams - manifestations of the subconscious. They're not real."

"I know that," she replied, wiping her nose with the sleeve of her shirt. "But it still hurts. What if you ..."

"What? What if I what?"

"What if you don't want me around any more?"

"That, Rose Tyler, will never happen. Never," the Doctor spoke softly as he stood, pulling her hands towards him, letting them go to embrace her.

She hugged him back fiercely as the tears began to fall. His words just couldn't reassure her the way they should have though, and she couldn't stop her own words from spilling out. "It happened to Sarah Jane," she whispered.

The Doctor leaned back then, looking her straight in the eyes, still holding her. "Rose, that's not what happened. I brought her to Earth to keep her safe. I was leaving her to go fight a war - my war, and I didn't think I'd live to see her again. After the war on Gallifrey, when I survived, I had to deal with my own guilt and depression - it took a long time for me to try and forgive myself - I still haven't sometimes, but ... that's another story. I did go back for her after a time. But when I saw her again, she was actually happy - I saw it. With my own eyes - I had no idea she was waiting for me all those years - do you really think I would have left her like that?" Rose shook her head slightly but didn't speak, letting him continue. "When I finally had the, the strength to come back, I had regenerated. I found her in a cafe with a man. I watched them, Rose. They seemed so happy, and I realized then that I could never give her that. Oh, I could give her trips to stars and planets and times she'd never dreamed of, but I could never give her that calm peacefulness of being at home with someone she loved. No danger. No running for her life. The smile on her face was so, so - perfect. I turned around and left so she could be happy."

The Doctor was staring at the wall behind her, his eyes looking up high, his face lost in the memory. When his eyes met hers again they held his sorrow. "If I had known that what I'd seen wasn't as it appeared to be, I'd never have left that cafe alone."

"I believe you," Rose told him, and he could see it in her eyes that she did. "But," she paused, looking away from him to find her own imaginary spot on the wall, "What about Reinette?"

"She was a very special individual," he said honestly.

"I know. She was beautiful, an' charming, an' smart," Rose said, letting him go and turning away from him, "but you left me an' Mickey on that ship, thinkin' you could never return," she paused and turned to face him. "You left me there with no way of gettin' home and you didn't think twice about it." Her tone wasn't harsh, but her words were spoken evenly to emphasize her point.

"Rose?" He held his hand out to her, and she took it, giving him the strength to continue. "I promised Reinette that I'd be there - that I'd save her when the time came. You delivered that promise to her. And when that time came and I found the opportunity, I wasn't thinking about anything more than the promise I'd made."

"You were fond of 'er. Very much," Rose added. She wasn't accusing; she was simply stating what she'd seen to be true.

"Yes I was. But when I went through that mirror to save her, I wasn't thinking clearly about the consequences - I was only thinking about keeping her safe. Can you understand that? I would never, ever intentionally leave you behind. And I will never intentionally leave you. I've told you before - you can stay with me for the rest of your life - and I meant it. Still do. As long as it's within my power."

"'I'm so sorry," she said softly

The Doctor embraced her, tears threatening to spill from his own eyes at her reaction. "No, Rose. Please, no - don't be sorry - I'm the one who's sorry. I should've realized. I should've talked to you about those things when they happened instead of pretending they never did. I never meant to hurt you."

They held each other for a while, relishing in their embrace at the other's touch. Somehow they ended up sitting together on Sarah Jane's bed, holding on to one another for comfort.

"I think you were right," the Doctor said, once they'd both had enough time to compose themselves.

"'Bout what?"

"The TARDIS. She's a clever old gal, I'll tell you. Bringing out this room for you to find. She knew what you were going through, of that I have no doubt."

"She did it so we'd talk, yeah?" Rose asked, a genuine smile forming on her lips.

"Yep."

"But what if it hadn't worked?" Rose asked, suddenly curious.

"Oh. I'm sure she would've found something else, like the old stockade that's around in her depths somewhere. Probably would've found a way to lock us in there until we said our piece," the Doctor said with a tone of conspiracy.

"Oh, well, I'm glad this room worked out then."

"Yes, well, how about we go fix ourselves some tea - maybe she'll reward us for her meddling with some nice chocolate biscuits," he proclaimed as he stood, pulling Rose up by the hand he held firmly in his grasp.

Walking over to the bedroom door he pulled on it, but nothing happened. Turning the knob, he found it wouldn't budge.

The Doctor looked up to the ceiling. "Not funny!" he spoke loudly, trying to give the TARDIS a stern look as he spoke.

Rose reached her hand to the knob and turned it easily, revealing the corridor. Her laughter, and his, echoed behind them as they headed towards the kitchen.

The End

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