DISCLAIMER: NO, I DO NOT OWN TEEN TITANS OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS. (BUT IF I DID, I'D STILL WRITE FANFICTION SO I COULD SAY SO AND RUB IT IN YOUR FACE. MWAHAHAHA...)

M RATING TO BE SAFE. CATEGORIZED UNDER ROMANCE, SINCE THEY DON'T HAVE LUST/SEX OR SOME SORT. (It's odd since a lot of stories under the romance genre merely include rough, passionate sex. Where's the love in that? Definitions, please.)

FOR SEX HUMORISTS AND ANYONE IN-BETWEEN.

THERE ARE CENSORS AS WELL.

SORRY TO EXTREME PERVES.

TOUGHLUCK.

TTT

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"BEASTBOY'S WILD &SEX-Y TALE"

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TTT

WELL, THIS IS HOW IT STARTED.

I snuck into Raven's room and changed her soap with skin-color-altering soap and her shampoo (which tried to attack me! IT HAD TEETH! It was some type of Azarathian product thingy for daemon hair…) with hair-transforming rinse. How could I possibly have invaded, of all people, that touchy half-daemon's room and achieve this amazing feat, you ask?

I am BEASTMAN, THE PRACTICAL JOKE GENIUS! (MWAHAHAHA…!) :D

The next day, Raven walked into the Teen Titan's conference room looking like a normal-looking, (although, purple-faced and fuming) peach-skinned blonde American girl. The other Titans merely gawked at her, fascinated. I couldn't suppress my toothy grin.

I snickered inwardly, and I am pretty sure she heard with the mind-reading and all or she might have just known it was me (since I suppose it is pretty obvious) because I saw her eyes beginning to glow red-hot, all incensed and crap (AND, AIMED AT ME!). I mean, dude, she was steamed!

"BEAASTBOY!" shrieked the violet-haired witch. Her voice sent fearful shivers all throughout my nervous system. My eyes widened in realization. She looked human, but I believed in that brief instant she was the Devil herself.

Raven wrung her dark, creepy-black-crackling energy around my thin neck and broke a few of the Tower's windows. This time she did so, not with pure emotions, but with my furry green body.

Gosh, OUCHIES. Just thinking about it hurts.

When Raven let go, my (Cyborg, screaming in background: DUDE, YOU WERE TOTALLY OWNED!) form fell with a bouncy plop upon the quite-soft navy blue carpet and my eyes became giant squiggles, tofu-stars dancing above my head.

Raven stormed off, back into her solitude, glossy golden curls bouncing promptly behind her.

Starfire squealed in approval of Raven's new "look", twittering about Barbie dolls, Tamaranean deities, blarggh, and whatnot. Cyborg rolled over on the carpet, holding his stomach (Cyborg, laughing hysterically, "OH GOD, I THINK I BUST A CIRCUIT!). Even though he disapproved of the measures taken, my robotic bud thought the stunt was sheer brilliance.

"Guys, I'm going to check on her," the Boy Wonder (I rolled my eyes, "Playing leader role as usual.") declared to us. Before Robin left, I felt his eyes upon me through his mask, glaring. "BEAST BOY," he acknowledged me curtly, "YOU STAY HERE."

With that said Robin left the conference room in chase of Raven.

Starfire, Cyborg, and I laughed for a bit then settled into one of those calm, peaceful, and, might I add, non-exciting silences. Cyborg and I continued on our wild adventurous rants of long-winding hours absorbed in videogame play. Starfire, after nearly burning down the tower with one of her cooking "experiments", slowly fell asleep on the couch.

Several hours passed.

Time flies when you're playing "MORTAL SMASH KONG FIGHTER KOMBAT UNDERGROUND". (IT'S ALL IN ONE!) : cries because of its beauty :

There were no missions or emergency calls. The two birdies remained unseen.

It was suddenly midnight, and the rest of us Titans headed for Dreamland. We said our goodnights and sweet dreams. Then we went our separate ways.

As I walked towards my room I glanced suspiciously at Raven's doorway, contemplating. I was curious. A glutton for punishment, I think that's how the saying goes. I morphed into a fly, entering through the lower crevices of the half-daemon's door.

I chose the wall nearest Raven's bed and rested upon its pale purple surface. My beady black insect eyes landed upon the two birds in a most inappropriately intimate position. I buzzed in surprise.

Raven was half-naked, save her violet bra, whilst Robin was fully unclothed.

AND, THEY WERE DOING "IT".

With every rough thrust and drawn-out moan, Raven's appearance was continually changing colors like a mood ring gone berserk! The first recognizable emergence was the half-daemon possessive of long, ebony-black hair, her skin giving way into a deep, simmering bronze.

RAVEN WAS ALL, "OHHHHH PAPI! MAS RAPIDO, PETIRROJO!!! MAS DURO!"

AND ROBIN WAS ALL, "AHHHH SI, CUERVO!"

THEN RAVEN WAS ALL, "AAAAAAHHHH AY DIOS MIO."

AND I WAS LIKE, "BUZZ?"

Her dark, exotic tresses faded into wavy caramel curls, her face becoming a pale, creamy white. Robin's hands searched her body gently, thoroughly massaging her (COUGHS) upper body area. As he lunged deeper inside of her, he leaned in to kiss her pink, delicate mouth. The heated kiss stifled a shaky pleasured moan, though the vibrations were intense enough to shake the walls of her room. I maintained my ground with my sticky feet and attempted to cover my eyes with my tiny bug hands from the scene. However, they were useless.

To my bewilderment, the Boy Wonder began to work his so-called "wonders" with his sleek tongue over her (COUGHS AGAIN) upper body, which sent Raven off in another screaming-gibberish fit.

RAVEN WAS ALL MOANING, "OH DIEU!"

ROBIN GRUNTED IN REPSONSE, "OHHHH OUI!

THEN RAVEN WAS LIKE,"LE DIEU TOUT PUISSANT!!!"

AND I WAS STILL ALL, "BUZZ-BUZZ?" (What was going on?)

I noticed Robin pulling out of her, beginning to lower his head, scaling down her pleasure-writhing form. He pinned her hands down with his own and stopped her legs from movement with his knees. I could hear the half-daemon sucking in her breath with nervous excitement. I had to close my eyes in embarrassment until I heard Raven scream in a rather foreign Asian accent, "ME SO HORNY!"

Her skin-color became yellowish pallor, and her hair gathered into straight, shiny black locks. (I ALWAYS WANTED TO KNOW WHAT RAVEN WOULD SOUND LIKE IF SHE WAS ASIAN!) I laughed out loud, but all you could hear would be, "Buzzzzz."

SHE WAS ALL, "MOTTO, ROBIN-KUN! MOTTO!!!"

AND ROBIN WAS ALL GROANING, "HAI…"

THEN RAVEN WAS ALL, "OH KAMI-SAMA! AAAHHH TAME! TAME!"

AND I WAS LIKE, "(HAHA.)BUZZ. (HAHA.)".

Suddenly everything clicked to me: the funny slanted eyes, the weird incoherent gibberish, and the hot friggin' sex.

Well, here's the truth. I forgot to mention at the beginning of this tale that I left another gifted prank for that moody she-devil.

Yeah, I went there. I tapped her water with language-confusing alcohol.

"AHHHHHH ROBIN! YES, OH AZAR! MORE, MORE!"

"F—CK YEAH!"

TTT

WOLF: Sorry, I just laugh my head off at the phrase, "ME SO HORNY!" I am Asian myself, so no hard feelings towards the race (does Asian peace sign!). Well, I know that I'm not that funny, and this is my first attempt at trying to write it. This was weird, spur-of-the-moment happy humor fiction. So, I hope that those reading this drivel are pleased.

THANKS FOR YOUR TIME!

(OH, BTW. I'm going to be a lazy bitch right now haha and let you guys look up the meanings for the foreign words: Spanish, French, and Japanese in order. If you don't speak English, I'm sorry I can't help you at all lols. I'll post/update that stuff soon though. So, you can always look back, if you're really curious. And correct me if I'm wrong or if you're some strict linguist!)

Reviews, helpful suggestions, and a friendly "Hello!" would be nice.