Title: A Tale of Two Tonys

Author: Diction Goddess

Written for: NCIS Ficathon

Pairings: Tony/Jeanne (don't judge too harshly, please)

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever, be affiliated with NCIS in any official capacity. This is merely a story written to entertain, with no chance of profiting.

Summary: Even when you know how the movie is going to end, you have to finish it.

Author's Note: I wrote this using the prompt "Tony fic. If there is angst for him in the final, something reflecting that. Or something about the origin of his movie obsession. (Or, hey! Season finale angst PLUS movie obsession.) With or without interactions with the others." I tried to incorporate both. It got much darker than I anticipated. Still, I hope you like it!

Tony doesn't believe in the concept of a favorite movie. He has seen many films—it is impossible to pick one from hundreds, but everyone asks anyways. Kate is the only person he ever bothered to answer; he told her it was "Die Hard" and she laughed at his "macho movie taste." He played along like he always did. He had spent years of his childhood playing the role of dutiful son—he could certainly play buffoon for Kate's amusement.

This penchant for slipping into a new persona was precisely why Tony found himself agreeing to a long-term undercover assignment for the Director. It was a blessed relief from the office after Gibbs's departure. NCIS had become a place where Ducky quietly fumed, Abby openly yearned, Ziva overcompensated, Tim gained confidence, and Lee recited the handbook. There were no more mysteries in his day: just paperwork and the feeling that he would never really fit in the role of team leader. He was stagnant, static, boring. Life was too real.

The only thing that Tony knew better than law enforcement was film, thanks to absentee parents and a nanny who preferred to leave him in front of the television or at the movie theatre rather than actually pay attention to him. He studied characters, their motivations. He found himself watching for different camera angles and analyzing the cinematography. He pretended his life was like the movies. His little-league baseball team could have passed for the Bad News Bears if there had been a bratty, Oscar-winning girl playing. He pretended that his father was not his biological father, and that his actual dad was halfway across the country with his twin brother—a connection just a summer camp away. He hid in his closet from the Nazi's even though he lacked six siblings and a singing nanny. His love for film was insatiable. It was natural for him to claim he was a film professor when forced to come up with a new profession.

As he set up his life as Tony DiNardo, he knew that there would be no happy ending. There was going to be too much deception, with no way to recover anything from it. In fact, he grew frustrated with the films that had major characters reuniting after a catastrophe. Despite Captain and Tenille's well-meaning proclamation, love alone will not keep people together. Instead, he thought of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and it's haunting tagline: who will survive, and what will be left of them. It was a much more accurate description, as he now knew all too well. Kate did not survive. Gibbs ran away, a shell of his former self. He had hoped that both events would come out with everyone intact, but it did not work out. He knew that he could end up like either one of them when this assignment was all said and done with. Still, he continued, desperate for the chance to pretend once again.

Jeanne Benoit, beautiful and brainy, became a breath of fresh air in his life. Tony DiNardo fell for her fast, as she loved the film references and made her own with relative ease. She never asked for favorites. The ease with which he could move away from Tony DiNozzo was both wonderful and dangerous.

Then Gibbs returned. DiNardo lost some of his freedom, as Tony had to be at someone else's beck and call. Jenny pulled him from work to partake in silly assignments. Jeanne began to wonder why Tony would not sleep with her. He had been hoping things would not progress so far, even though he knew better. Deception and sex went hand in hand in the movies. When she came she called out "Tony" and he knew he should have changed his name. The lines between fiction and reality were blurring.

John's death shocked him until he thought about it later—there was no reason for a minor character's death to have such an impact on the lead, but by this point Tony knew there was more to the story. He had almost revealed his double life, and now John was gone. He could not tell anyone at NCIS without fear of losing them. The unhappy ending drawing nearer, he desperately tried to sustain his dual existence. He refused to say love. He reverted back to DiNozzo with Jeanne, and her frustration at the loss of DiNardo was almost enough to end the game. Jeanne became clingy and whiny, and he was convinced that if he could dedicate more time to DiNardo, then their relationship would flourish once again. DiNozzo was becoming a blur. Jenny told him they were closer than ever to La Grenouille. Paula came back, and then left forever.

Who will survive, and what will be left of them.

The tagline replayed over and over in his head. Kate did not. Paula did not. Gibbs was still a shell, and Tony waited with bated breath for Gibbs to realize what he has been doing, that he is undercover and in too deep. However, years of acting had paid off for Tony in the worst way: Gibbs had become like the rest, and believed that all Tony had done is fallen in love. There is no one to save him.

NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS

He has seen this movie 100 times. Guy goes out with Girl under false pretenses. Guy unexpectedly falls in love. Everything blows up in the guy's face. He knows how it ends. Tony's favorite Americanized film is "City of Angels," which was originally an odd German film. Germany had a happy ending—the angel and his desired are able to get together. The American one is tragic: Angel becomes human, shares one perfect day with his desired, and then she dies, leaving him alone to experience life. Love can cause beautiful destruction. It is coming for Tony DiNozzo. He's known it since he knocked on her door and blurted out his affection. He is Nicolas Cage, but Gibbs is no Andre Braugher: there is no one to try and reason with him, convince him not to take the chance.

A normal visit to Jeanne leads him to become an unwitting hostage, and he feels the end of DiNozzo is near. By the time the limousine pulls up, Tony knows. He is on the edge of the building. Gibbs will not forgive this. Ziva will not forget. Tim will not understand. He is afraid of the ending now. Will she be taken away abruptly after accepting his truthful identity, his perfect life denied?

Jeanne smiles at him, her eyes bright and loving like they were in the beginning, and he knows for certain.

He is the angel masquerading as a man. He can no longer act as both. He cannot go back.

And when he steps in the limousine, he falls.

NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS

The end comes sooner than he expects it, even though it was there all along. Rene Benoit knew of DiNozzo before Tony ever gave up on his former life. The limousine takes them to a four-star restaurant where they eat cuisine and Jeanne jabbers in French to her father, occasionally giving Tony a secret smile. When she excuses herself to the restroom, her father slings an arm around Tony's shoulder under the guise of friendship and whispers in his ear "I know who you are, Agent DiNozzo, and I will not hesitate to use her to ensure your cooperation."

This does not surprise him—in fact, Tony was a bit pleased—La Grenouille would have been a terrible villain if he hadn't figured out Tony's identity. Tony is also certain that the villain was not the sort that would harm his daughter in order to teach Tony a lesson, but he widens his eyes and mutters a fearful "yes, sir" for effect. When Jeanne returns, her father announces that he's pulled some strings and gotten both of them three weeks of vacation, and they are coming with him to France. Jeanne gushes in disbelief, and Tony is the picture of a grateful man. Everything is building to the climax.

When they are in their hotel room, Tony begins to run a bath to cover up their conversation and confesses DiNozzo's identity, his original reason for dating her, and the fact that he wants to give up his former life to start anew with her. "Your father will kill me. I want to run, but I'm not going to leave you."

Jeanne is beautiful in her despair, and even though she is sobbing beside him, he ignores his instinct and clings to the hope that there's a chance things might still work. "I'm so sorry for everything," he tells her, causing a hitch in her breathing that makes the tears stop. "I tried to stop, but I still loved you anyway. I'm sorry." She wipes her eyes and places a hand on his cheek, gazing into his eyes. She nods her head. He smiles.

He doesn't hear the doors burst open; he doesn't see the man pull Jeanne out of the room; and he doesn't feel the bullet enter his body. He falls backward into the tub; his blood, red and thick, tints the water almost immediately. There are more voices, brighter lights, and soon the water that is covers his head and blurs his vision. He is unable to lift himself up out of the tub, and he wonders what is going on. He thinks he hears his name, feels someone grasp his wrists tightly, and then everything is black.

NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS

It was a movie. He cannot call it an assignment—it meant so much more than that to him. It began with the creation of Tony DiNardo and it showed the struggle of a man caught between two identities. DiNardo won only to die a short time later, leaving a shattered DiNozzo in his wake.

Tony doesn't bother to explain this to anyone else. He's pretty sure they wouldn't listen. He awoke from an induced coma to see a beleaguered McGee at his bedside. When Tim noticed Tony's eyes were open, he went for a doctor and did not come back. Three days later, he still has not returned. Ziva comes daily but stands outside, only watching through the window. Abby is there in the evening, but she never really speaks—she only holds his hand and urges him to sleep. Ducky comes with her and repeats everything the doctors said about the damage, about the things they had to do to his stomach and intestines that meant he couldn't eat the same foods, about the infection in his lungs that kept him on a ventilator for a week after his surgery. Gibbs comes by often and stands in the corner drinking coffee. They do not speak.

It is during a surprise visit from Agent Lee that Tony gets the information he has desperately craved. Jenny and Abby had conspired to insert a tracking device under his skin after Gibbs's departure: Abby because she couldn't bear to lose someone else, Jenny because she knew the undercover assignment was dangerous and she was unwilling to compromise her investigation. Abby had done it when he was napping in the office, and told him she pinched him awake when she injected the chip under his skin. Foolishly, he'd never thought to question her answer. When he did not appear for his lie-detector test, Abby activated the device and found Tony was on his way to France. Gibbs marched to Jenny's office, demanding to know why she sent DiNozzo to another country, and she realized that he was in danger. Gibbs, McGee, and Ziva learned all about Tony's lies, then concocted a plan to rescue him. Three NCIS teams converged to take over La Grenouille's empire at the same time Tony was trying to salvage a happy ending.

The arrival of NCIS startled La Grenouille. Believing Tony had betrayed him, he ordered Tony's murder and had a helicopter prepared to take him and Jeanne out of the country. He had not planned on Jeanne escaping from the bodyguard's firm grasp and watching her father's men try and kill her boyfriend. Agent Lee surmised that seeing Tony's shooting was the last straw, leading Jeanne to grab the knife out of the bodyguard's belt and find her father. One of La Grenouille's men, not realizing the identity of the knife-wielding woman who was advancing toward his employer, fired a single shot to the head. She fell backwards, eyes unseeing, just as Kate had done two years before. La Grenouille, in shock over his daughter's death, allowed Jenny to put on the handcuffs and lead him away. While this was going on, Gibbs found his way to the bathroom and discovered Tony, half-drowned and bleeding profusely. He pulled Tony from the bathwater and, with Ziva's help, resuscitated Tony just in time for the paramedics to whisk him away.

Agent Lee leaves the room after Tony asks for privacy. He gazes up at the ceiling, and the words echo in his head.

Who will survive, and what will be left of them.

Kate didn't. Paula didn't. Jeanne didn't. Three women he has loved in different ways, all gone. The team that was like a family to him can barely stand to be in his presence. The doctors refuse to say whether or not he can resume a career as a field agent, citing the long recovery period and that his lungs might be even worse than they were after the plague.

Who will survive, and what will be left of them.

And though he has survived, he's not sure there is anything left.