I had another dream today. Except it was about the past.
It was during the time I was in Massachusetts, and I was in school. Merryweather Massachusetts Elementary, to be exact. I was in the fifth grade.
I had moved to Massachusetts about an year ago back then, and it was my second week of school. Nobody liked me. I was the outcast, the girl who couldn't read and had some sort of a disorder. Stay away from her. It's not only that, but ordinary mortals sense something different about demigods, too. They sensed something different about me.
The other boys respected me a little bit because I was the tough girl who could play basketball as well as them. But the girl avoided me. That hurt. But then there was that girl…
I never told anyone about her. I never told Mom or Luke or Annabeth. Nobody. Sometimes I even wonder is she even existed. Sometimes I pretend she never did. If she never did, it would never have been my fault. I'd like to forget about her
But it was all my fault.
Her name was Helen. I forgot her last name. She was short, Asian, intelligent, quiet, and nice. I remember that she hated being short. Her nickname was "Shrimp." She lived with a single mother, like me. Her mom was nice. We never talked about our dads.
Helen and I knew each other for only a short time, but it was a good time. Helen was also an outcast, like me. I don't know why. She had been living in Massachusetts all her life, and had gone to Merryweather for as long as possible. We liked playing Greek gods. I liked being Artemis, and she liked being Athena.
She was also my first friend.
One day, though, I was waiting for the bus at the bus stop with Helen. We were both talking about something trivial, I'll never remember what. Then I heard that noise.
I turned around, and there was the Minotaur. I recognized it instantly, and knew that it had sensed my aura and wanted to attack me. I knew all of that, but I didn't fight because I was too scared. I ran without looking back, without saying anything. I knew Helen was surprised. She was one of those rare mortals who could see through the Mist. She ran, following me.
I ran fast. Since I was more athletic, I left Helen behind in the dust…to face the Minotaur on her own. Cowardly.
I ran and ran and ran. I ran up a ladder to the school roof, where it was really high up. I was never scared of heights back then, but I then looked down. In that one moment, I felt fear because of the Minotaur, guilt because I abandoned Helen, ashamed that I did such a thing, and angry that I was so wimpy.
I stopped, feeling dizzy and sick. I went back, not for Helen. I went back because I was selfish, knowing that the guilt and memory would haunt me. But it was too late!
The moment my feet touched the ground, I saw the Minotaur getting ready to attack me. And in that millisecond, someone came and stabbed the Minotaur. Poof! The monster vanished. I knew I was safe, here on solid ground. I looked gratefully at my savior, who was another demigod.
And that's how I met Luke but lost Helen.
Day 51
I've been distracted today, and everyone noticed. Annabeth is worried. Even Richard has backed off a little.
Helen was Nobody. That's what I told myself. I pretended she never existed, and when she did enter by brain, I squashed her. Because if she did exist, that means I was to be blamed for when that happened. But thinking about life now, about Luke and Kronos, I guess I shouldn't pretend. No more pretending. I want the truth.
But I also want Luke.
Day 52I think I know why Luke joined Kronos! He was forced to! Maybe he was put under this spell or he had to join because Kronos threatened to do something! Must share with Annabeth immediately!
Later:
I am an idiot. Annabeth is the genius. She really is a daughter of Athena.
I was bursting with the news of my revelation when I banged into the Athena Cabin. Fortunately, Annabeth was there alone, absorbed in something made by somebody called Plato or something. I blurted out the news.
She was silent at first, and then told me to sit down. When I sat, she explained everything. She said that if Luke was threatened by something, he would've contacted us somehow and still not poisoned me in my tree state. They didn't know if he was under a spell, but if he was, then the dreams he and Percy had were unnecessary.
Ouchies.
She was really nice. What would I do without Annabeth?
Day 53
I hate my diary. It just occurred to me what would happen if someone found it. If Clarisse found it, the horror would be unimaginable.
So I've decided to actually hide this diary. Under my bed. It's not like anyone will actually look down there. Nobody even knows I have a diary, except for Annabeth, and she swore not to tell.
Anyways, on with the day's events.
Richard and I did a little archery contest. Richard isn't a bad archer. He's excellent, which he should be, considering he's Apollo's son. During the time, we talked a little. I never knew that Richard had two little sisters and no mom. Those two little sisters are also Apollo's kids, too. I think I detected some bitterness. They all live with an aunt and uncle, except during the summers.
Percy and I did a small sword fight. He beat me without using half of his strength. I think he went easy on me. Very easy. Percy kind of soft, he doesn't like hurting people or fighting as much as a demigod should.
Annabeth and I did a chess contest. It took forever because Annabeth was busy toying around with me. She would set complicated traps. She would make me think that I had gotten a lucky break when it turned out that I had really fallen for a trap. She would take my pieces slowly, one at a time.
I lost.
Grover and I just hung out. We don't get much time alone. Grover and Percy are "best friends." Good for them.
Anyways, we talked about Pan. Actually, he talked about Pan I listened. Some of it was actually interesting. Pan was a son of Hermes and Luke's brother.
Didn't see either Richard or Blackjack. Most excellent.
Day 54Dear Diary,
I had the oddest feeling of being watched today, but whenever I looked around, nobody was there.
Probably Richard.
During capture the flag, today, my heart really wasn't in it. We still won. I think that Annabeth noticed. She notices these kinds of things. I bet she'll want to call me up for some talk.
Helen is still alive, lurking in the deepest corners of my mind. What's the name of that disease you have when you have multiple personalities? I think I have a very severe case of that. Because there are three Thalias inside of me. No, four.
Thalia One is Thalia Storm, daughter of Zeus, "Lightning Queen," sarcastic punk, daughter of actress Cornelia Storm, and one tough safe to crack open. Basically, what everyone thinks of me when they first see me. The person I was forced to be to survive on the streets and to stand up to bullies at school.
Thalia Two is different. She is scared, unsure, guilty, and knowing. She is scared of heights, her dad banishing her completely, her friends all abandoning her. She is unsure because she does not know is she belongs anywhere, if she should've been born, if Luke going away was her fault, if she would one day be responsible for Olympus's downfall. She is guilty because she indirectly caused Helen's death and refused to admit it. She is knowing because she knows she is selfish and blames others for her mistakes. I don't like Thalia Two at all.
Thalia Three is something murky and indescribable. I think she gets angry easily, and she's he one with the leadership abilities. I think she's the part of me that really enjoys holding a bow and arrow the part of me that disdains the Aphrodite kids, the part of me that enjoys pure sport and friendship, the part of me that is proud to be Zeus's daughter. Still, she is a very, very small part of me. I don't really think much of her.
Thalia Four is something else. She is like something that I know is there, but avoiding looking at. I pretend she doesn't exist. She is hate. Hate, hate, hate, hate, hate. Thalia Four hates with such passion that it surprises me. She harbors a deep grudge against the Olympians, Dad particularly. She scares me. I think she'd be the kind of person to seriously join Kronos.
With all these Thalias inside of me, I have one question. Which Thalia would dominate my personality completely one day?
Day 55Today I still felt like someone was watching me. I also heard someone fall down from a tree, but didn't bother to see who it was.
Definitely Richard.
I seriously question his sanity. Or his lack sanity. Why does he like me so much? It gets really creepy. Doesn't he realize the more he stalks me, the less I like him?
Well, I guess he's totally oblivious. Yesterday, an Apollo guy told me that Richard took pictures of me and slept with the undeveloped film under his pillow. Of course, his pillow has "Thalia Storm" scrawled all over it with Sharpies.
What have I done to deserve this, Aphrodite?
On another annoying subject, Blackjack and I are actually starting to get along. Percy actually convinced him to let me pet his mane. (After I was finished petting his silky black mane, though, he almost kicked me in the head. Stupid horse.)
I hate his stupid mane, anyway.
Day 56Dear Diary,
I have a splendid idea! I'll add a little "Updates" section to each entry.
Richard Updates: I only saw him twice today, and didn't hear any weird rumors. Good job!
Romantic Updates: I think that Minerva and Travis are growing apart. They don't look at each other with "intense love" in their eyes anymore. Silena and one of her cronies have been more active than usual. I hope that they won't drag me into anything.
Percabeth Updates: Percy and Annabeth are the same. Go figure.
Quest for Pan Updates: Grover says nothing.
Archery Updates: Found a cool new partner. Apollo kid, of course.
Angst Updates: I didn't angst about anything today. Not even Luke. I'm getting pretty good, no?
Ares Cabin Updates: They are acting more aggressive to me than usual. Clarisse tripped me with a spear and called me "Lightning Queen." I still don't know whether to consider that as a compliment or an insult.
Other Updates: The food quality has gone from nine out of ten to eight out of ten. Are the nymphs tired of cooking for us? Maybe.
And what would we be about our…
Daily Cabin Gossip: Someone told Minerva who told Annabeth who told me that the nymphs are ready to go on strike. Go them. Also, there are slight rumors of Richard Nelson making a collage out of my face. Again, those are rumors.
I am very sorry that I haven't updated for a LONG time. I really am. I swear upon my immortal soul and everything that comes with it that I will work harder in finishing this fic. Seriously.
I made up another OC. Helen. I try to keep very few OCs in my fics, but I don't think Helen counts that much because she's dead. I guess I just wanted something to explain Thalia's fear of heights, even though she is a daughter of Zeus and all.
I strongly advise all readers to review. Thank you.