Disclaimer: I don't own Golden Sun; Nintendo and Camelot do.
It was a balmy summer's night, and Isaac and Jenna were sitting on a hill overlooking Vale. The sky was clear, and a full moon brilliantly illuminated the countryside. Isaac and Jenna were snuggled close to each other, content to be together.
"I love you, Jenna," Isaac whispered into her ear.
Jenna frowned and moved away from Isaac. "You keep saying that, Isaac, and I'd like to believe you, but I'm just not sure I can."
"What?" Isaac asked, alarmed. "Why?" He grabbed Jenna's hand and looked her in the eyes. "Jenna, you know I love you. I'll do anything to prove my love. What can I do to make you realize I'm sincere?"
"Jump off a lighthouse," Jenna said.
"What?" Isaac asked, dropping her hand.
"Well, think about it," she said. "Felix and Sheba are dating now, right? He jumped off Venus Lighthouse after her. And Garet jumped off Jupiter Lighthouse to help Mia, and now they're together, too." Jenna crossed her arms and eyed Isaac critically. "Frankly, I have to wonder about your committment."
Isaac stared at her, but Jenna just coolly returned his gaze. Finally, Isaac sighed. "Fine. If I jump off a lighthouse, will you believe I'm in love with you?"
"Uh huh!" Jenna said. She snuggled back up next to Isaac, who held her as they gazed at the stars. Isaac's mind, however, was not at peace. He was wondering just what he'd gotten himself into.
.'.".".'.
Isaac stood atop Mercury Lighthouse, eying the edge of the aerie dubiously. "Jenna, have you considered what's going to happen after we jump?"
"Isaac, you'll be fine," Jenna said, her breath forming little clouds as she spoke. "Felix survived the fall from Venus Lighthouse, and he was only, what, level five at that point? You're level fifty-two; you'll be able to hit the ground and come away with HP to spare."
"Yeah, well, what about you?" Isaac asked. "You have less HP than I do."
Jenna did a double-take. "Me? Why does my HP matter? You're the one jumping."
"You have to jump, too, Jenna," Mia said. She and the other Adepts were there, too. "After all, what reason does Isaac have to jump if he's not doing it to save you?"
"Well, he's proving he loves me!" Jenna spluttered.
"That's not how it works," Sheba said. "You have to fall so that Isaac can leap selflessly after you, risking his life on the faint chance that he may somehow be able to save you."
"Something tells me she didn't think this through," Felix commented, noting the look of growing horror on Jenna's face.
"Well, there's plenty of snow at the bottom of the lighthouse," Piers said. "Just aim for that."
"If you back out, we won't think any less of you," Ivan said.
"Yeah, no one will tease you," Garet added, crossing his fingers behind his back.
"Whoa, hold on," Isaac said, moving away from the edge of the lighthouse and approaching Jenna. "You can't just drag me up here, pressure me into jumping, and then back out when you find out you have to jump, too. We're both going through with this - or don't you love me, Jenna?" he asked sarcastically.
Isaac stared her down. Jenna began to fidget under his gaze. She stepped away from her disappointed boyfriend. Isaac closed the gap. Jenna edged away again, but Isaac stepped close again. Before she knew it, Jenna was standing at the edge of the aerie.
"Are you going to jump, Jenna?" Isaac asked softly. "Or am I going to have to make you?"
Jenna cast a pleading glance at the other Adepts, but they seemed frozen, unable to comprehend what was going on. Looking back at Isaac, Jenna saw that his eyes were like ice. "Th-this... this is madness!" she stammered.
"Madness?" Isaac echoed. "This is Weyard!" In one lithe movement, he stepped back, raised his foot, and kicked Jenna in the chest, sending her tumbling off the lighthouse with a drawn-out shriek.
"You just kicked my sister!" Felix shouted. He snapped out of his daze and bolted at Isaac, but before he could reach the other Venus Adept, Isaac had dove off the lighthouse himself.
Felix stopped in his tracks and glanced at the others. They shrugged. Felix nodded towards the floating elevator that would take them all to the bottom of the lighthouse, and without a word the group headed down to the ground.
When they reached the bottom, the six Adepts ran to the bodies of Isaac and Jenna. Felix knelt next to his sister, cradling her head in his lap.
"Fe- Felix..." Jenna gasped, blood dribbling down her chin.
"Yes?" Felix asked. "I'm here, Jen."
"V- Valeshipping... is... ca- canon," she groaned. Jenna coughed once more, spattering blood, and then her eyes closed and her body went limp. Felix shook with silent sobs.
Meanwhile, Garet was talking to Isaac. "You're gonna be okay, man," Garet said. He glanced at the lighthouse. "Mia'll get you guys Hermes' Water, and-"
"Garet," Isaac whispered, cutting is friend off.
"Yeah?"
"I... Rosebud..." Isaac let out a final breath and grew still.
"You know, in hindsight, going along with this was really pretty stupid," Sheba said.
"I guess the moral of the story is that engaging in death-defying behavior is only practical during cutscenes," Ivan said.
"That's a pretty sucky moral," Garet said.
"It is, isn't it?" Mia said. "Well, what are you going to do?"
"Go play Halo?" Piers suggested.
"Sounds good," Felix said. And so the Adepts went home and played Halo.
The end.
(P.S. - The real moral of the story is that jumping off a tall structure is a really stupid way of showing you love someone. What, flowers and a nice card aren't good enough for you?)